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Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by teresafaith: 10:50pm On Dec 27, 2017
Hillary Rodham Clinton famously adopted her husband’s last name in the 1980s after it looked as if his political fortunes were souring.

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Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by DaddyKross: 10:51pm On Dec 27, 2017
teresafaith:
Hillary Rodham Clinton famously adopted her husband’s last name in the 1980s after it looked as if his political fortunes were souring.


K

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by teresafaith: 10:58pm On Dec 27, 2017
A recent study suggests men whose wives keep their name are viewed as more feminine

Visiting my family in the Midwest over the holidays, I returned to a topic that’s become very familiar ever since I became engaged a little more than a year ago: Whether I plan to change my last name after I get married.

Given that I’m the youngest person in my family to have the name Berman, my relatives were eager to know whether that lineage would end with my wedding in about a month or with my death (hopefully a long time from now). I assured them I’d stay a Berman forever.

This is something I’ve known for some time. A college friend recently told me he remembers my answer when asked about a future name change well before I knew whether I’d get married or my fiancé appeared on the scene. Incredulously, I apparently said something along the lines of: “I have a byline to maintain.”

Certainly, my career provides a valid rationale for keeping my name, but I’ve never understood why I have to give one. If I’m being honest, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around the logic behind why a recently married woman would change her name (except in a few, very exceptional circumstances).

I was recently reminded that this opinion is very much in the minority: A study published earlier this month in the journal Sex Roles found that the husbands of women who chose to keep their surname were more likely to be perceived as feminine than those whose wives changed their names.

“There are stereotypes about men whose wives retain their surnames after marriage,” said Rachael Robnett, a psychology professor at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas and one of the authors of the study. That may be in part because the notion that a woman who marries a man is supposed to change her name is so entrenched in our society, she said.

Robnett’s research is only the latest evidence that the name change tradition has held on in a very strong way. According to a 2009 analysis of 2004 government data , just 6% of married, native-born American women had an “unconventional” last name, which includes keeping their maiden name, hyphenating their last name or taking on two last names. There’s some indication this trend may be shifting;
about 20% of women who married relatively recently kept their last names, according to a Google survey conducted by the New York Times. But the bulk of women marrying men still appear to be changing their names.
“As a gender researcher, I’ve noticed that there is pretty strong adherence to gender roles within heterosexual relationships,” Robnett said. “In so many other domains of society we actually see people pushing against traditional gender roles” like in the workplace, she added. So why is this one of the few traditions that continues to persist with little question? There are a variety of reasons, according to researchers:
• “It’s hard to make an argument for why it’s important other than it’s just important to the woman,” said Emily Shafer, a sociologist at Portland State University. And in the family or personal realm, we expect women to be “other interested” instead of self-interested, she said.
“To say I want to keep my name is in a way saying I’m going to put my identity ahead of traditional norms surrounding family,” she said.
“There’s no good solution when kids show up,” Shafer said. We’re still at a point where it’s incredibly rare for a child to take on their mother’s last name or receive a hyphenated last name. That means that even when a woman keeps her surname, it ultimately gets lost in the next generation in many cases. That may be motivation for women to simply give into the tradition and change their names, she said.

Fear of scrutiny: Robnett said she decided to look into how men whose wives kept their last names were perceived because she wanted to get a sense of whether husbands’ opinions were playing a role in their wives’ choices. “Obviously this isn’t a decision that women are making in a vacuum,” she said. “Maybe men are somewhat aware that these stereotypes exist.”
Other research indicates women who keep their names may also face scrutiny after they make that decision, which they’d rather avoid, Robnett said.

It seems romantic: Robnett notes the idea of a woman changing her name when she marries a man is tied up in a lot of the romantic ideas we have about love and marriage, which can be hard to push back on. In many cases the decision to change a last name is viewed as a signal of “devotion and love for their spouse” as well as “a show of family unity,” Robnett said.
But, she notes, the power of those ideas may be helping to maintain the stereotypes surrounding women who keep their last names and the stereotypes surrounding their husbands.
• Perhaps the most salient reason for why women by and large change their last names upon marrying a man: It’s what we’re used to , according to Laurie Scheuble, a sociologist at Penn State University.

The tradition of women changing their last names to match their husbands’ has its origins in the property transfer that took place upon marriage, Scheuble said. Essentially, women went from being part of their parents’ family to becoming their husbands’ property.
“Although we don’t have that property aspect anymore, we still have this whole gendered notion that women somehow are obligated to take the last names of their husbands,” she said. “It’s turned over to normative tradition.”

For the majority of boys and girls, the heterosexual couples they see have the same last name and so they don’t imagine doing anything different, Scheuble said. That was the case for my fiancé, who says that before we started dating he assumed that if he married, his wife would take his last name. He adjusted pretty easily to the idea that I’d be keeping my name, but nonetheless, it wasn’t what he’d grown up expecting.

My comfort in keeping my name may extend in part from having had the opposite experience. My mom kept her last name and, as it happens, so did most of the moms of my friends. And in my experience, many of the concerns that are often raised by the notion of a woman keeping her last name — that the family wouldn’t feel like a unit, that there would be challenges traveling or picking up kids from school, etc. — never came to pass.

But for people whose mothers changed their names after marrying, it can be hard to convince them that there won’t be challenges to having a partner with a different surname. Scheuble says she often talks with her college students about why they plan to change their names or expect their future wives to, and will play Devil’s Advocate. For example, she may respond to concerns that everyone should have the same last name with a question about why it can’t be the wife’s, but it does little to change their minds.
“The big thing about marital naming is that women still take their husband’s last name, that’s a big thing,” she said. “It’s the last socially acceptable sexism.”


https://www.morningstar.com/news/market-watch/TDJNMW_20171227124/update-why-so-many-women-still-take-their-husbands-last-name.html
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by SteveDesmond: 11:09pm On Dec 27, 2017
is part of women's pride in marriage

8 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by habsydiamond(m): 11:22pm On Dec 27, 2017
Good combination and sound sweet...
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by 1zynnvn(m): 10:08am On Dec 28, 2017
Na airforce1 name them suppose carry be4? ??

Its Too late to fail,Amen.

4 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Nobody: 10:08am On Dec 28, 2017
angry



∆ That's their headache ∆

1 Like

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by purem(m): 10:08am On Dec 28, 2017
Just like I don't have anything to say lipsrsealed
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Berlyn1(f): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
I am Just here to read comments. ...ignore me grin
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by dubemnaija: 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
God punish all APC members and their families, Masha Allah, Amin!

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by BeansAndBread(m): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
I think this is caused because we've over adopted the Western Culture. I'll speak for Islam only; Islamically a woman bears her father's name even after marriage. So you'll find in many strict Islamic countries women despite after marriage still bear names like Zainab bint Mu'awiyah(Zainab daughter of Mu'awiyah).

So we need to do away with the Western Culture and adopt the Islamic one grin I know some people will pounce on me but that's the hard reality, we're still under the clutches of colonialism.

31 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Heywhizzy(m): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
Is this suppose to be a topic for discourse

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Bahddo(m): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
Because... Men in some parts of the world have to cough up a fortune to buy marry their woman.

In some other parts, men lose all their assets (to the woman) when there is a divorce.

It's only natural that people would want to own whatever they have bought. What better way to own something than writing your name on it?

11 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by YINKS89(m): 10:09am On Dec 28, 2017
Ladies u knw d rest now.
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by free2ryhme: 10:10am On Dec 28, 2017
always the feminists card

these women sha !

they are quick to forget that men and women are not equal but unique in their own way and it is not about superiority.

yet they end up using their own father's name so who is a man, so who is fooling who ?

21 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by kings09(m): 10:10am On Dec 28, 2017
But naija don de copy dis one. But wait oo, women sha wan take over d world
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Moreoffaith(m): 10:10am On Dec 28, 2017
Nigerian ladies be like na my husband i marry no be him grandpa.

2 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Histrings08(m): 10:11am On Dec 28, 2017
U can av both ur maiden name nd hubby's last name

1 Like

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Nobody: 10:11am On Dec 28, 2017
Na wa o
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Write2018: 10:12am On Dec 28, 2017
It's a normal thing to have your hubby's name attached to yours for many reasons. Except you're a public figure what's the use of your father's name.

BTW, if you're a good content writer, send me a pm.
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by babyfaceafrica: 10:12am On Dec 28, 2017
Who Care if she changes the name or not....as long as The children bear the father's name

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Jh0wsef(m): 10:13am On Dec 28, 2017
Lilimax:
If your name is popular before getting married, you'll do yourself no good by changing the mane tongue

yeah, right
Gucci mane
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by flyca: 10:13am On Dec 28, 2017
Changing to my husband's name is not too feasible for me.
That will mean changing all the names in all my docs.
Thankfully, my oga understands that it has nothing to do with feminism or what not. Just feasibility.

3 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by FrenchWay: 10:13am On Dec 28, 2017
...
Me wey be guy sef... If Dangote or Otedola gimme him daughter; I go even change my surname to their own.
My name Haliru Dutsinma go turn to Haliru Otedola

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Nobody: 10:13am On Dec 28, 2017
Because the man purchased you.
Its a way of telling other men or potential suitors that you've already bin purchased, and paid for... The last name is like a tag... A purchase receipt

6 Likes

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Lomprico2: 10:14am On Dec 28, 2017
I no undastand this thread sef undecided

1 Like

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by DuBLINGreenb(m): 10:14am On Dec 28, 2017
Carry your feminism to the Muslim and Arab world. All these women once you give them chance they want chances.
We say wear what you like they are now going naked,
We gave them assurance they must get atleast 30% in every sphere of life now they want everything some pity us and say 50/50,
We say you can keep your father's last name now they want to keep it and dump our names.
We gave them deaconess and some gave them bishop now they want female pope.

In the Arab world it was just yesterday women were allowed to start driving cars? You people should go there and free your sisters.

It should not be a rule that you should not bear your husbands last name but if you want to do it personally fine, na you and ur husband sabi but don't do as if it is punishment.
Surely if your name is already globally recognised your husband will understand with you this is not issue to campaign about.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by Lilimax(f): 10:15am On Dec 28, 2017
Jh0wsef:


yeah, right
Gucci mane
embarassed
Re: Why So Many Women Still Take Their Husband’s Last Name by carinmom(f): 10:16am On Dec 28, 2017
My family's name is equally important, I just can't imagine myself discarding it and adopting someone's name. What if the marriage did not work?

2 Likes

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