The Topic about Parents got me thinking about my childhood, all the crazy things We did as kids. Me i was a tomboy, very sturbron and to make matters worse i had an elder brother, he will always get me in trouble and leave me to fry.
There was this river near our house then before it became fully a developed area, we would go and swim there and Mama will always warn us because there were snakes in the river, we would never listen. One day as we were swimming we saw one of our uncles walking on the bridge, he saw us and we ducked under the water, so we ran hame through a short cut band got home before him, we went through the back door and came into the sitting room and there was my uncle talking to my mom, and my Mom said your uncle said he saw you in the river, we said its not true we did not go anywhere oh (Meanwhile, we were looking white, you know how cold and dry Jos is and when you swim, your skin will be completely dry). My Mom was like so is your uncle lying, we said Ah we did not go to the river and he did not see us, when he was passing we ducked under the water, Oh boy see flogging that day.
Another time, my brother asked me to go and tell Momsy that we want to share her food, meanwhile we had eaten oh, he just wanted meat, Mama said oya come ad eat, as soon as we started eating she ate all her meat, and we both got up and said we were full, Mama Siad for where oh, Both of you will finishe this food today, My brother was smart, he will fill up his mouth and go and throw it in the dustbin, me mumu na so i dey chop dey cry. Kai Boys
Another time, a neighbor gave us sallah meat which was almost rotten, my mother was with a friend and they were abusing the woman that gave us the meat for giving us rotten meat, so my mom told me to go and tell the woman thank you for the rotten meat, me too i went and told her Anti Maman Na ta che In ga ya mi ki ta gode da rubeben Naman da ki ka ba ta (Traslation, My mom sent me to thank you for the rotten meat you gave Her), My dear, If not for my father, I wont be alive to tell this story today, momsy was ready to kill me that day

this thread gave me flash back on how i was karated and combated by my parents wen i was a kid due to bad influence i had wit my yardi(jamacian friends) went clubbing(was only 15) with dem on 1 faithful day tinkin my timing wit my parents bin @ work was spot on .Unfortunately , for me all hell was gona break loose wen i got bck, on my way bck home i saw my modas bedroom light on its only evr on if mama was @ home , i knew obatala was gona strike in dat household my footsteps became heavy .omo mehn as i open d door my fada fly kicked me str8 den my pounced on me , mehn i knew i deserved evry lick cus i was bad but u neva no til d fun is ova.

Idowuogbo:

this thread gave me flash back on how i was karated and combated by my parents wen i was a kid due to bad influence i had wit my yardi(jamacian friends) went clubbing(was only 15) with dem on 1 faithful day tinkin my timing wit my parents bin @ work was spot on .Unfortunately , for me all hell was gona break loose wen i got bck, on my way bck home i saw my modas bedroom light on its only evr on if mama was @ home , i knew obatala was gona strike in dat household my footsteps became heavy .omo mehn as i open d door my fada fly kicked me str8 den my pounced on me , mehn i knew i deserved evry lick cus i was bad but u neva no til d fun is ova.

LOL I have that kind of experience too oh, sneaked out came back was tip toeing to my room then my worst nightmare, my mothers room light came on. I died a thousand deaths

nna ehn . . . this thread is going to be another hilarious watering hole for all the naughty adults.

My dad used to be extremely strict especially during the start of every school yr. Turns out i lost my maths set a few into the first term and i knew i was going to be in serious trouble. I kept hoping mum would not notice until at least a month when i could then pretend some pieces had broken and i could request for a new one. Satan is a bad guy! That night my father just decided to ask everyone to produce their math sets for no reason . . . chei see me see trouble. I quickly lied that a friend had borrowed it and would give it back the next day. The next day my parents werent home and of course there was still no mathset . . . i found the key to my parents room, stole enough money to buy a new mathset and trekked 2 hrs to buy a new one. I scratched the pieces on the floor to make it look old and proudly produced the set soon as my father arrived.

till tomorrow they still have no idea how the money in their ring box got missing!

davidylan:

nna ehn . . . this thread is going to be another hilarious watering hole for all the naughty adults.

My dad used to be extremely strict especially during the start of every school yr. Turns out i lost my maths set a few into the first term and i knew i was going to be in serious trouble. I kept hoping mum would not notice until at least a month when i could then pretend some pieces had broken and i could request for a new one. Satan is a bad guy! That night my father just decided to ask everyone to produce their math sets for no reason . . . chei see me see trouble. I quickly lied that a friend had borrowed it and would give it back the next day. The next day my parents werent home and of course there was still no mathset . . . i found the key to my parents room, stole enough money to buy a new mathset and trekked 2 hrs to buy a new one. I scratched the pieces on the floor to make it look old and proudly produced the set soon as my father arrived.

till tomorrow they still have no idea how the money in their ring box got missing!

Davo Davo, LOL. Bad Guy

@davidylan

bad breed at least u proved satan wrong but its unfair dat u didnt chop beats like i did bcus if they spanked u next time u wud no ur maths set are instruments u nid 2 protect like gold lol

@Poster, This story not funny but it's certainly "crazy"

My mother had a thing about not allowing me to cut my hair.

One day I decided to borrow my best friend's mother's hot comb, I sneaked it upstairs to my bedroom and put it on a old electric fire I found in the back yard. Anyway to cut a long story short, my mother called me to help her cook the dinner, so hot comb and fire left unattended :

I expect you can guess the rest, it took 2 fire engines to put out the fire

One of my brothers often use blade and comb to cut his hair himself, oneday i decided that i was going to do the same and I did it so terribly that when my mom saw me she absolutely lost it. The next thing she did was put some soap on my head and scrape the remaining hair and then proceeded to use olive oil to rub my head. I was like 12 at the time o, come and see shame and she didn't even let me cover my head, i had to endure the street chanting (afari korodo in my case iyawo eleran) and my older siblings never stopped rubbing my head until my hair grew. To this day i no dey near blade and comb

i hate combing my hair, i hated sitting down to do braids, i preferred playing with the boys, i asked my mum to cut my hair she said no way, i pleaded with my dad, my mum told him no, i now went out and bought plenty chewing gum, i chewed and chewed, i now took it and plastered it on my hair wella   she said  "how did all that get on your head', i knew if i tried to lie i will chop cane, i just told her i didnt know the next day i had a new hair cut

iice:

  Enuff beatings.  But next day. . .we'd still do it again    I think we were a bit crazed then. . .

thats the thing, the more beatings you got, the more you want to try it

i remember another time we followed this political campaign large crowds , when they got to their final meting point, we didnt know how to get back home, our parents were worried , it was election period and kids got missing, they thought we had been kidnapped, we found a policeman and explained where we live ( we went really far dead east), the guy now helped us home, after our parents thanked him, come see beating my mum forgot the cane, slipper, bag, clothes cups anything mehn it was fun running around lol. i always looked forward to holidays, cuz it means trouble.

did you play police and thief? catapults and stones

Mukina, I salute you

ah! i get plenty plenty stories to share ooo for this one, the fact i am still alive is just the miracle of God. let me just share 2 of my stories sha

story 1

we just finished watching super ted and i just suddenly had this bright idea that i could fly too, so i told my kid bro and we both agreed to try it out. i climbed on the long dinning table, tied one of my mom's scarf around my neck as my cape and ran from one edge of the table to the other and just leaped into the air with both hands stretched forth. well, to cut the story short, i had my first practical physic lesson in my life, gravity works!


story 2

back in secondary school days, i always liked reading detective novels for kids like famous 5 and shakespeare stuff and felt pretty good that i can solve mysteries thinking i was some kind of sherlock holmes. so in JJ2 i formed a group with 5 friends telling them we will be the school's unofficial detectives and solve crimes. it so happened one time there were reports by some farmers that students where stealing their yams on the farmer and other fruits. my friends and i jumped into action trying to solve the mystery. during one of our long breaks we went into the bush to set traps to catch the thieves, we took our make-shift bo.0by-traps and a toy gun for this mission. deep inside the bush after setting most of the traps we encounter some activities going on and wanted to investigate properly. low and behold we found our thieves but they were not students but grown men, what we were not sure of was if they were farmers or just straight up thieves, so we hide behind bushes while watching their every move. suddenly, one of my silly friends got all hyped up and took the toy gun and came out charging from our hiding place and screamed "FREEZE!" the action shocked the men and us his friends and before we could say jack robinson, the men were chasing us we with cutlasses, hoes and all manner of shinning metals; come see us doing ben johnson, no bi small thing. we ran for our dear lives. at some point we scattered in the bush and kept running until i fell into one of our traps. frantically i was fighting to get myself freed and my friend saw me and helped me. as soon as i was up from the ground one of the men spotted my friend and i and came at us full speed, we dashed again heading towards the school while he was hot on our heels. all of a sudden, i spotted a huge shrub and we docked behind it and climbed the nearest tree. after a few minutes we saw the man panting and running under the tree and heading toward the school. we came down and ran off in a different direction until we got to school and found out the rest made it out alive. that was one crazy experience and i even started writing a book about our adventures but never completed it. good old days i tell ya! 

@ na2day babes u a raw talent u go me in stitches wit ur stories
how u doin ?

na2day?:

ah! i get plenty plenty stories to share ooo for this one, the fact i am still alive is just the miracle of God. let me just share 2 of my stories sha

story 1

we just finished watching super ted and i just suddenly had this bright idea that i could fly too, so i told my kid bro and we both agreed to try it out. i climbed on the long dinning table, tied one of my mom's scarf around my neck as my cape and ran from one edge of the table to the other and just leaped into the air with both hands stretched forth. well, to cut the story short, i had my first practical physic lesson in my life, gravity works!


story 2

back in secondary school days, i always liked reading detective novels for kids like famous 5 and shakespeare stuff and felt pretty good that i can solve mysteries thinking i was some kind of sherlock holmes. so in JJ2 i formed a group with 5 friends telling them we will be the school's unofficial detectives and solve crimes. it so happened one time there were reports by some farmers that students where stealing their yams on the farmer and other fruits. my friends and i jumped into action trying to solve the mystery. during one of our long breaks we went into the bush to set traps to catch the thieves, we took our make-shift bosom-traps and a toy gun for this mission. deep inside the bush after setting most of the traps we encounter some activities going on and wanted to investigate properly. low and behold we found our thieves but they were not students but grown men, what we were not sure of was if they were farmers or just straight up thieves, so we hide behind bushes while watching their every move. suddenly, one of my silly friends got all hyped up and took the toy gun and came out charging from our hiding place and screamed "FREEZE!" the action shocked the men and us his friends and before we could say jack robinson, the men were chasing us we with cutlasses, hoes and all manner of shinning metals; come see us doing ben johnson, no bi small thing. we ran for our dear lives. at some point we scattered in the bush and kept running until i fell into one of our traps. frantically i was fighting to get myself freed and my friend saw me and helped me. as soon as i was up from the ground one of the men spotted my friend and i and came at us full speed, we dashed again heading towards the school while he was hot on our heels. all of a sudden, i spotted a huge shrub and we docked behind it and climbed the nearest tree. after a few minutes we saw the man panting and running under the tree and heading toward the school. we came down and ran off in a different direction until we got to school and found out the rest made it out alive. that was one crazy experience and i even started writing a book about our adventures but never completed it. good old days i tell ya!

This is the funniest story i have read, super 5 ko, super ted Ni

Idowuogbo:

@ na2day babes u a raw talent  u go me in stitches wit your stories
how u doin ?

sweet heart mi, i dey ooo, how the go is going nau? not seen u online for a while; it is partly my fault, been very busy but i go halla your side today

aisha2:

This is the funniest story i have read, super 5 ko, super ted Ni

leave talk ooo, i was not a very normal kid, i had too many weird ideas growing up and my kid brother was no help, he was weird too, infact too weird. if i wrote half of the silly things we did, Seun go ban me think say i be terrorist 

iice:

lol na2day.  One of my bro did the same thing.  Except he was superman and ended being caught on a rope that was strung across the room Funniest part was that, it was his mouth that caught the rope rofl.  We called him scarface for a while

i had an igbo friend that did the superman thingy too. they just got back from Japan and his mom bought him the costume. the idiot thought that the costume was what made superman flew, poor fella, he shoulda asked me first and i did tell him i tried to fly without any success. he climbed a tree and jumped from there, crashed badly and broke major bones. they rushed him to the ER and did major surgeries for him, needless to say that was the last time he saw the costume the positive side of the story though, he became one of the fastest and most flexible martial arts guy i had ever seen and very vast in many a martial arts 

naijababe:

i had to endure the street chanting (afari korodo in my case iyawo eleran) and my older siblings never stopped rubbing my head until my hair grew. To this day i no dey near blade and comb

LWKMD.


@ Thread. ,

Well in those days in CDSSI, i was a good football player, but because my mom was strict, i usually played in my uniform so in case she showed i would be ready. I was also very skillful so i could play 4-5 sets and not a single person would touch me. One term, my mom bought me this rubber sandals that was the latest thing for boys then. because my size was not available, i took the next big size so i could grow into it as i refused every other one in the store.

One day while playing ball, i wanted to lob the ball like Siasia did and my shoe went with the ball and landed on the roof. Well i scored but could not celebrate because the only thing that flash across my mind was the new set of sticks my mom bought for the term. As my friends ran towards me i ran for the table to arrange and get my shoe. Before i knew it, the disciplinary master in Command Secondary School then (Sha Sha Sha) came around and i had to wait till after school. Well cut the long story short, i could not reach the shoe. I used my bag to cover my leg as i entered my moms car at the main gate.

In those days, my mom was fond of buying things for us on the way home. I could do anything for pof pof and bonce, so when we got to the place, my mom gave me some change to get down and buy, that was where trouble started. I refused to go down and instead was calling the woman from the windows with the glass up sef. My mom first slapped the living daylights out of me for disrespecting the lady calling her from the window, then she discovered the matter. She beat me ehn, even the beggars in Maryland who know our car well were telling me sorry the next day.

And if you know my mother, you would know things don't usually end without an explanation, Friday night, just before legend Movie of the Week started, she called me to explain and after the explanation, she beat all the football out of me, till tomorrow i cannot juggle the ball 20times.

Growing up was fun, a story that readily comes to my mind is my cousin and i have this funny theory about making people forget whatever we did.

As a Kid i grew up with my grandma who was and still a very strict christian and she hardly allows us watch TV and movies.My cousin and I  don't usually have gist in school like the other kids so we devised a way of making up, there is a cinema about 3 streets away from my grandma's crib so every Saturday once its 10 am we steal money from her shop,sneak out of the house to the cinema to watch films and would not return until around 9pm.Somewhere along the way we got this theory that to make people forget whatever it is you have done just pluck about 3 strands of air from your eyebrow pee on it and place it on your head funny enough sometimes we don't get beaten by my uncles back then but oh boy the days we were caught oh men you don't want to imagine, she will flog the goodness out of our lives and say (Aya omode ni esu di si egba ni won ma n fi le lo )'' the heart of a child is the where the devil resides and cane is used for chasing the devil out"

Mine oh mine!

I actually grew up thinking i was born with electronic circuitry blue print right in my brain.

Every single electronics in the house received my 'genius' touch because i must open it, fiddle with  it and finally send it out of service as soon as it arrives home. it was so funny that i was never really scolded for all those misadventures.

There was this LCD watch that was en vogue for kids then, i was virtually buying one every month, make sure i spoil it, and then buy another.

well,  doesn't look bad now, looking back, since i ended up as a computer Engineer 

When we were kids our mum warned us never to eat in our neighour's house but one day our neighbour invited my sister and i to her house and gave us rice to eat after the meal we went back home and as soon as our mum saw our mouth she asked us but we denied then she gave us water to gargle our mouth after which we were asked to spit out and behold particles of rice scattered everywhere my sister screamed that miracle has happened that we don't know how rice entered our mouth, My mum beat the broad day light out of us

elelem:

When we were kids our mum warned us never to eat in our neighour's house but one day our neighbour invited my sister and i to her house and gave us rice to eat after the meal we went back home and as soon as our mum saw our mouth she asked us but we denied then she gave us water to gargle our mouth after which we were asked to spit out and behold particles of rice scattered everywhere my sister screamed that miracle has happened that we don't know how rice entered our mouth, My mum beat the broad day light out of us

LOL. I think I like your mum, heheh. Your sister too is funny.

Haha This a really funny thread. I did some crazy things when I was a kid.  I used to steal meat from the soup pot and when the alarm went off, I would deny the accusations. Sincerely, I still don't understand why I usually sneaked into the kitchen to raid the pot of soup. Maybe it is just a childhood habit  The strange thing is that I was never caught on my dodgy adventures to the kitchen.  Then there was a time I '' punished '' my mother by hiding her favourite necklace and bangles. She was hoping to wear them to an important event that Saturday but I hid them because she offended me some weeks before. She was not happy and returned from the event feeling very sad. I chuckled as I watched her suffer. I returned the necklace and bangles to her room the next day. Then there was a time I smashed the windows of a bus outside our house with a stone The owner of the bus came out of our neighbours house and started wailing. I peeped from our gates and was grinning. The woman said a lot of things and those she came to visit did not know what to do.

When I was in secondary school, I stayed in a private hostel. I moved with a group of boys and though we attended the same school, we were in different classes [ ranging from SS1-SS3 ]. The owner of our hostel was a Reverend and he usually made us attend his Anglican church. Anyway, me and my crew had our own plans. As soon as the service began, we would gather ourselves together through signs and codes and head out of the church. Mr Reverend would be busy preaching and leading the service while we would make our way to town. There was one canteen we usually visited called '' White House '' in Ijebu-Ode.  The weird canteen was also open on Sundays and we would start eating Fufu and all kinds of soup. Usually, one or two of us will put down the money while the rest will return the favour the next Sunday.  We always made sure we got back to the church before the service ended. The funny thing was that Mr Reverend's son was part of our group  We were unlucky sometimes and got caught or some of the good students grassed on us    We would then be whipped by our hostel proprietor. We never really cared about the church services back then. We were just plain mischievous.

When I look at myself today, I wonder why I did those things. I've become a nice person and I take responsibility for my actions now.  I guess it is just a part of growing up. It is wonderful being a kid


www.vibes-extra..com

Wow!! I've got this everlasting smile on my face reading post and replies.

Ok, I remember the days of don't watch films and immediately parents left the house my siblings and I will lock the doors and watch all the films we had seen repeatedly!! We were getting away with it until one sunny afternoon, the kiddo of the house squealed on us "innocently"! As usual, we heard dad returning and swung into action. Put off the tv; video; arrange the living room; tuck video cassette in the row. Sit down quietly to chorus EKAABO SIR. Only for smallie to shout DADI A WO FILM KANKAN L'ENI O! O my!! We were made to confess and got a light judgement.  

Another one was when, we had bottles of Calypso Coconut drink in the house and I would always go to take a sip. One day, immediate younger bro caught me!! In order to bribe him, I gave him a sip, feeling he took more than I'd taken, I took another sip & that was how we went on taking sips until bro fainted!! _{He hasn't gone near alcohol since then}!!   And did folks find out?? Your guess is as good as mine!  

And the days of 'stealing' milo and milk to lick!! hahahahaha. . . .  I still haven't stopped that!! _{and to think I don't like tea!!}

Or when guests gave us money and we "forgot to tell mom in order for her to thank them" !! Ha!! gbogbo flogging ni ye o  

Aaw . I'm enjoying all these tales, just can't think of any of my own. I guess I had a pretty un-crazy childhood . I only have a few tales that friends have told me of theirs. How they go swimming without permission ( a very common childhood crazy prank ), how they got chased almost 50 km on their bikes by several ferocious dogs, how they told a neighbor's friend that the neighbor had died ( by mistake) - Lol, that was a funny one: a friend of mine as a young boy didn't know much English, in fact, the only English he knew was due to watching action movies, and people would say "The actor has died".

One day a visitor came to their house to ask for their neighbor. My friend told him, "He has died". The visitor burst out crying. My friend's mother came out to find out why the stranger was crying, and when she was told what the boy had said, laughed and told the visitor that her son couldn't speak any English and that the neighbor was alive and well. I laughed so much when he told me this when were in uni together. Now he speaks plenty "phone" and has forgotten the days when he only knew how to speak Agbor .

Oh, I remember one now, but it was my mom that told me this one. Growing up with four elder brothers and two younger (imagine the beatings cos I could be stubborn), I was a little tomboy and my mom would tell me how my brothers would be climbing high on the windows in the house, and how I would climb up just as high with them. The only problem was that I got scared at the top and could never come back down on my own . I'd be stuck up there and someone would have to get me down while my able bros laughed at me from the ground .

Its been fun, fun & fun all the way wit this thread.
I was a gentle home-alone person back then so I can imagine wht fun I missed.
Im sure some of u discussin ur weird past r still weirdos till date, perhaps in another dimension

LWKMD,

Anyways here's mine. .

Back in my primary school days, i was brillo but boy was i skinny and that usually gave me away from a distance. There was this teacher that really disliked me for no reason whatsoever .

She would call me all sorts of names, like Sugarcane. . Beanpole,Chewing Stick & that made me cry most times, i had to ask my mom why i deserved to be skinny cuz all my sisters were plump!

So there was this day i came late and of course she was on hand to dish out her regular doze of cane strokes, on seeing me. . she just laughed and said "Chewing Stick, i'll have to look for some flesh on yo bones to whip!" Imagine the alacrity, the shame and there was this girl that had a crush on me back then.

I did get one over her, with some catapult to the bu[i]t[/i]t! which she'll prolly not be sitting well till this day sha.