Nice Thread.

Not crazy kinda dumb I guess----
Here goes-
It was a sunday afternoon and I was out playing ball in yard. My sista calls me up and double dares to pick up a metal spring lying on the floor. I felt insulted. "How can you dare me to just pick a harmless looking spring that is not heavy?" i asked. She insisted that I can't pick it up. I went ahead and grabbed the spring but dropped it immediately. IT WAS A FREAKING HOT METAL SHE JUST ROLLED OUT OF THE FIRE!!!! My hand suffered serious burns!!!

The naughty girl knew it and was laughing in this wicked and evil manner

I would have killed her that day if not for my cousin who intervened.

^^thats jacked up!

I really did some yucky things as a kid.

Whenever my mum is getting ready for work, I used to stay in the room with her and watch her prepare. Sometimes after combing her hair,she will remove some of the hair that cut in the process from the comb and give to me to throw away. On my way to the garbage bin, I will just duck somewhere and eat all the hair ( I wonder why i still have intestines)

I used ot enjoy eating the boogie from my nose as a child, i to cherished that delicacy

My counsin and I at age 6 were playing with a socket where we usually pluged our TV (Black and white) we noticed that the thing was always drawing us in, we took turns to try it and joked that the people in the TV were trying to draw us into the TV to be with them. We did not know we were experiencing electric shock. Not until we told a senior person that people in the TV were drawing us into the TV and my moms friend overheard us and told mumsy did we know we were playing with electricity. We got off lightly, we were given lectures on the dangers of electricity. I had more shocks after that in life of course, and went on to study Elect/ Elect.

Red-lips:

I really did some yucky things as a kid.

Whenever my mum is getting ready for work, I used to stay in the room with her and watch her prepare. Sometimes after combing her hair,she will remove some of the hair that cut in the process from the comb and give to me to throw away. On my way to the garbage bin, I will just duck somewhere and eat all the hair ( I wonder why i still have intestines)

I used ot enjoy eating the boogie from my nose as a child, i to cherished that delicacy

Oh please,

For heaven's sake tell me you're joking!!

men children are wicked

there are so many wicked things we did as children i cant even thinnk of where to start

Red-lips:

I really did some yucky things as a kid.

Whenever my mum is getting ready for work, I used to stay in the room with her and watch her prepare. Sometimes after combing her hair,she will remove some of the hair that cut in the process from the comb and give to me to throw away. On my way to the garbage bin, I will just duck somewhere and eat all the hair ( I wonder why i still have intestines)

I used ot enjoy eating the boogie from my nose as a child, i to cherished that delicacy

yuck, you're disgusting!!!

Red-lips:

I really did some yucky things as a kid.

Whenever my mum is getting ready for work, I used to stay in the room with her and watch her prepare. Sometimes after combing her hair,she will remove some of the hair that cut in the process from the comb and give to me to throw away. On my way to the garbage bin, I will just duck somewhere and eat all the hair ( I wonder why i still have intestines)

I used ot enjoy eating the boogie from my nose as a child, i to cherished that delicacy

For real ? Outta sight!! Did you really have to share that with us? ? Kinda funny though.


Looks like most "crimes" were against our parents/guardians, and a few against our siblings. I really outsmarted my elder brothers more than once in my time , to show u that girls can really have more sense than their older male counterparts. Like I said earlier, I grew up with a lot of boys - sisters came later (much later, and they were no match for me . They grew up being the girly, loveable ones, while I chose the  opposite path )

Anyway,  like, in primary school, my friends and I loved music and knew all the latest pop songs, though we might not know the right words. My elder ones were good with that, being older and more intelligent .

Well, a new song came out that I really liked but I didn't know the lyrics. I really wanted to show off to my pals, so I had to think up a way to make my brothers get me the lyrics. Knowing they wouldn't help me if I just asked them to (yeah, I was a real brat ), I tricked them by telling them that a teacher in my class promised some prize money to anyone who would get her the correct lyrics.

Wanting to win the prize in this lyrics competition , they quickly procured the lyrics and wrote it down neatly for me. I was very happy and later they kept asking how far with the competition, did they win?? LOL, can't remember if I confessed or not, but it was really funny to think that my older brothers actually believed someone was giving out a prize for song lyrics?? Boys!!!

maedan:

For real ? Outta sight!! Did you really have to share that with us? ? Kinda funny though.


Looks like most "crimes" were against our parents/guardians, and a few against our siblings. I really outsmarted my elder brothers more than once in my time , to show u that girls can really have more sense than their older male counterparts. Like I said earlier, I grew up with a lot of boys - sisters came later (much later, and they were no match for me . They grew up being the girly, loveable ones, while I chose the  opposite path )

Anyway,  like, in primary school, my friends and I loved music and knew all the latest pop songs, though we might not know the right words. My elder ones were good with that, being older and more intelligent .

Well, a new song came out that I really liked but I didn't know the lyrics. I really wanted to show off to my pals, so I had to think up a way to make my brothers get me the lyrics. Knowing they wouldn't help me if I just asked them to (yeah, I was a real brat ), I tricked them by telling them that a teacher in my class promised some prize money to anyone who would get her the correct lyrics.

Wanting to win the prize in this lyrics competition , they quickly procured the lyrics and wrote it down neatly for me. I was very happy and later they kept asking how far with the competition, did they win?? LOL, can't remember if I confessed or not, but it was really funny to think that my older brothers actually believed someone was giving out a prize for song lyrics?? Boys!!!

well, i wouldn't say you outsmarted them, it's possible for such to happen and be believed, i might even believe it too because i have seen competitions like that in schools.

honeric01:

well, i wouldn't say you outsmarted them, it's possible for such to happen and be believed, i might even believe it too because i have seen competitions like that in schools.

ROTF, well, certainly not in a convent school with Rev. sisters in charge . If it was a real "competition", they would have heard of it. I only told them one teacher wanted it and would give a reward . U can't believe how they were looking forward to winning it .

maedan:


Anyway,  like, in primary school, my friends and I loved music and knew all the latest pop songs, though we might not know the right words. My elder ones were good with that, being older and more intelligent .

when i read this two songs thta my mum almost mashed my mouth for came ot mind.

you remember . .i wanna have intimacy on the beach and i  like the way your kitty tastes this songs were reigning then

older cousins taught us and i sang it infront of my mum, omo come see slaps and mouth rubbing

i didnt know what i was singing oh

mukina2:

when i read this two songs thta my mum almost mashed my mouth for came ot mind.

you remember . .i wanna have intimacy on the beach and i  like the way your kitty tastes this songs were reigning then

older cousins taught us and i sang it infront of my mum, omo come see slaps and mouth rubbing

i didnt know what i was singing oh

Heheh. You know . Imagine a primary school girl's teacher asking for the lyrics to "I'm not your superwoman, I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down etc" and my brothers actually believing that and helping me get it . We never knew what we were singing ooo, we just liked the melodies .

It was fun, the melody rocked we didnt have to know what it meant

there was this lady patra, she had some dangerous dance moves i tried that for my grandma she wanted to kill me , i beg her tire not to tell my mummy

Lady Patra ke??
You no fear?!
The only songs I ever dared sing near my parents/guardians were Boney M, Sonia Spence etc. Even then I still had small sense o .

i was stubborn,
Boney M. (you my sweetie , my sugar) if that;s him . .that song was the primary source of love letters back in primary school oh

Ah! i remember visiting a friend of mine who lives on the other end of the estate.
meanwhile there was this very ferocious dog (like a lion) that terrorised even motorists.

I got there and another friend was already there so we strolled out to the main road and then came this dog,
We all took off and this giant dinosaur dog was after us!!! (we were all like 9yrs old)

fortunately, i and one of the friends veered left and the boy we went to visit went right and the dog
pursued him!!!
see shouting!!!!!!
passers-by helped ward this monster dog off but by then my dear friend had peed his pants!!!!
we laughed all day.
Gosh!


Also i remember my elder sister coming home with bruises and lied that she had been attacked by dogs on
her way from maths lessons.
it turned out that she fell in the gutter while trying to pluck cherries from a neighbor's hedge.
(my elder sister told our mum because mum was arranging to go to the hospital for anti-rabbies injections).

see back hand slaps dey reing like fire.my sister cried all night.


Or was it when i went to climb guava trees with my bunch of friends from the same street.
we saw a snake in the trees and all jumped from the tree ; one of us sprained his ankle.
when we got home, his mum came to my house and told my mum,
men!!!! my mum can slap eh!! kai
the first slap threw me on the floor and when i got up she fired another left and right.
infact im lucky not to be needing therapy right now.
The age of innocence was a lorra fun!!!
this thread will fill up if i recount all the tales,
or was it when i threw a stone that cracked our car windscreen, i blamed it on my younger sister
and she cried like, well a baby.

wow, Nice thread, asin the parent one got me laffing and this hmmm superb, I dont usually log into nairaland o, but i have to today, Let me share my story

When I was like 10-12yrs old, We have an uncle that is in yankee, I was the last born and the man likes me so much, just cos i am peers with his first daughter so he calls us twins, so sha.My uncle visit naija every december and he usually stays with in our house .he is kinda stingy he gives us like maybe 1 t-shirt for each of us sha, my elder ones are always pissed, so they always open his luggages and bags  when there is no one at home and take stuffs even the stuffs meant for people that sent him to deliver to their families, there was this year he promised to buy me a mountain bike if i did well in my exams so I was the first position in my class for the 3 terms and all that,so he said he is getting me the bike, hehehehe, so the man came back to naija that year o, the day he came, me i didnt see any bike so I was like where is d bicycle meanwhile i think he has a container on d ship thats where d bicycle is, cos he is bringing for me and my cousin, but me i no know sha cos i was like 11, so next day he went out, around 7pm, silly me got home from playing ball, open my his room, locked it behind me, then i pounced on d bags just d way my elder ones usually do, of which i should have told them my plans but i didnt i wanted to check myself, omo, na so i open am o, I didn't see any bike or sumfin like dat, next thing i heard his voice in the sitting room.UNCLE IS BACK, AHH GBESE, ME GOOD BOY DON TURN BAD, WHAT AM I GONNA DO, so i was trying hard to lock d bag, but d padlock is not working, uncle came and tried to open his room,it was locked, then he started banging d door, all my family members started shouting my name, and banging d door, i was too ashamed to open, then one of my eldest bro, just kicked d door and alas!!!it was young me with d yankee bag opened, next thing I just started crying, mom was so mad, she gave me two abaras!!!lol, my uncle was like he is a kid, leave him, but that day i cried all night, whenever i remember i laff!!!

mukina2:

i was stubborn,
Boney M. (you my sweetie , my sugar) if that;s him . .that song was the primary source of love letters back in primary school oh

ROTF, nooo, it was "Brown Girl in the Ring, trala la la la!!" You sef! Now I know you were really baaad!!

And when I was young i like playing oo, ahh, play play ranging from CATCHER(Bubble gum bubble gum how many bubble gum do u want), POLICE AND THIEF, RUNNING RELAY, PLAYING BALL(Set), 4-post, president, boys scout, fall like a mango tree, boju boju, fighting wrestling, ere iyepe(playing with sand), STOP!, SUWE, CANTAS(Table soccer), MAKING OF KITE, rolling tire, using paper to make aeroplane,boat, fan, then d beating each other games.e.g. won ki pe lemeta, oba ni ke dawo jo, igbe iya rugbo, mo bu iyo, and so on, and my favorite mummy and daddy and I like playing daddy o,
there was this day i was playing daddy, me and d mommy who happens to be my neighbour were kissing each other and using our privates to play, na so my mom just catch us, d woman shout JESU!!!EYIN OMO YI, AFI RA!(JESUS,YOU THESE CHILDREN,STAND UP), LOL

maedan:



ROTF, nooo, it was "Brown Girl in the Ring, trala la la la!!" You sef! Now I know you were really baaad!!

segzz5:

play play ranging from CATCHER(Bubble gum bubble gum how many bubble gum do u want), POLICE AND THIEF, RUNNING RELAY, PLAYING BALL(Set), 4-post, president, boys scout, fall like a mango tree, boju boju, fighting wrestling, ere iyepe(playing with sand), STOP!, SUWE, CANTAS(Table soccer), MAKING OF KITE, rolling tire, using paper to make aeroplane,boat, fan, then d beating each other games.e.g. won ki pe lemeta, oba ni ke dawo jo, igbe iya rugbo, mo bu iyo, and so on

Chei !

U really had fun !

Na all the games be dis, can anyone beat this ? !

memories mehn !

hackney:

[b]Ah! i remember visiting a friend of mine who lives on the other end of the estate.
meanwhile there was this very ferocious dog (like a lion) that terrorised even motorists.

I got there and another friend was already there so we strolled out to the main road and then came this dog,
We all took off and this giant dinosaur dog was after us!!! (we were all like 9yrs old)

fortunately, i and one of the friends veered left and the boy we went to visit went right and the dog
pursued him!!!
see shouting!!!!!!
passers-by helped ward this monster dog off but by then my dear friend had peed his pants!!!!
we laughed all day.
Gosh!


Also i remember my elder sister coming home with bruises and lied that she had been attacked by dogs on
her way from maths lessons.
it turned out that she fell in the gutter while trying to pluck cherries from a neighbor's hedge.
(my elder sister told our mum because mum was arranging to go to the hospital for anti-rabbies injections).

see back hand slaps dey reing like fire.my sister cried all night.


Or was it when i went to climb guava trees with my bunch of friends from the same street.
we saw a snake in the trees and all jumped from the tree ; one of us sprained his ankle.
when we got home, his mum came to my house and told my mum,
men!!!! my mum can slap eh!! kai
the first slap threw me on the floor and when i got up she fired another left and right.
infact im lucky not to be needing therapy right now.
The age of innocence was a lorra fun!!! [/b]
this thread will fill up if i recount all the tales,
or was it when i threw a stone that cracked our car windscreen,  i blamed it on my younger sister
and she cried like,  well a baby.

Childhood memories are great, it's the real reason why I wanna move back home. Do such memorable activities occur? We lived in a rental compound with other neighbors, it was quite a close knit neighborhood and fened with semi- high walls. Across the building was one ferocious dog called Billy. You know say people keep dogs to ward off thieves. And my elder brother told me that dogs only bark at thieves because they smell. So, before heading to their house (the guy was my brother's friend), I will bathe, so that the dog wont bark at me, because my brother liked to play games with his friend. Prior to the erection of walled fence in our compound, two brothers at another neighborhood (still friends of ours) and a neighbor taunted Billy. They would see Billy and yell, "Billy, Billy, Billy . . . and billy go run after them, and they will run away. They reappeared again, and Billy ran after them. Koko was about to be bitten when he shoved Emmanuel my neighbor, and Emmanuel then shoved Eteyen (Koko's brother, the youngest of the group and the ring leader)

Billy lacerated him with his teeth. Come see screams, "Adom miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-o. He was rushed to the hospital where he was treated, Still, he never learnt a lesson, he would taunt the dog after his trip back from the hospital

My own: I wanted to skip school, so I made up a false story that I was attacked by a boy who was rumored to have mental problems. I even gave myself scratch wounds and all that, and said that he attacked me. The neighbors sympathized with me but my mother did not give a hoot. Reason was that she had come by earlier from work, and I did not come inside the house to greet her. Thank God she did not take any actions, because it would have been a false accusation on my part on this innocent boy.

Another time: Same compound, before the walls came up, there was this guava tree that shared a boundary with a different neighborhood. My friends and I (little kids) would argue with the woman in that neighborhood that the guava tree belonged to ours. It was serious and any of you can attest that landownership is a contentious issue in Nigeria. So, we would argue (I couldnot have been eight at that time) and this woman was about my mom's age mate. Usongenying. So, she had a daughter who was ill, and I cruelly would make fun of her. One day, this woman timed me and grabbed my hands and asked me why I was always taunting her daughter. Since I had this deep resentment towards her, I was just hoping that my mother would appear on the scene and blow her off (my mother would never have done that, she was a peacemaker) but I talked my way out. Later on, that guava tree was solved in a diabolical way. I came back from school to pluck it, and one of my friends, Eno, warned me not to. Then she showed me a bottle hooked on one of the stems of the tree. She said it was mbiam aka juju. I dont know how true it was, but I took her advice and refused to pluck guava. Eventually, the landlady erected high cement walls on the building, but despite my fresh memories of Nigeria, I dont know what happened to that guava tree.

In front of our compound, the cement walls were nicely padded that one could sit on it comfortably. When I came back from boarding house, in my Jss2, my elder brother told me a trick he had been playing with pedestrians on the streets. He showed me. So, every evening, both of us would tie a piece of paper and attach a thread to it. When we see pedestirians approaching, we would throw the piece of paper and they would get scared, they would assume it was a snake, while we the instigators would be cracking up.

Family wise: I had a younger brother who was very fond of me when he was a baby. He died in 2002. As far as I can recall my younger ones, perhaps all of them were always scared of teddy bears when they were babies. Dunno why. Now, this boy was handsome and usually preferred my company over other family members, including our mother. He would crawl to my side while I was watching TV and would lay on my chest. While I loved him, at times, I was quite a mean fellow. I would beckon to him, and he would crawl by my side, then I would shove the teddy bear and he would crawl back to a different place. Guilty conscience would prompt me to discard the teddy bear temporarily and he would crawl back. The boy grew up and sometimes was stubborn. At a Christmas party my primary school was hosting, he refused my mother's orders. So, mom threatened to have him stay at home, but I pleaded and pleaded on his behalf and finally she relented. Out trooped all four boys to the party. My senior brother carried him on the way, while I walked behidn them with another brother. The boy repaid my kindness to him by sticking his tongue at him, so I circled my face at him that I was gonna deal with him when we got home.

When we arrived home, I called the unsuspecting boy to our bedroom and when he approached me, I shoved him the teddy bear again. He looked at me and said, "Akerebo ke nya afehe? (Do you think I will run away?) He slapped the teddy bear, and I ran after him angrily but he evaded me. My siblings find the episode funny.

Naija was truly fun!

My childhood was littered with adventures and dangers!!

i remember one time i punched my kid sister in the backyard not knowing that my eldest sister was back from her school
(j.s.s 2). kai!!
she flew out of the house eh! and the chase was on; we ran round the house like 4 times before the hide and seek.
When i realised i did not know where she was and my other sisters might catch me, i made for the gate.
My sister had this large stone and threw this stone with large force and i ducked for my life.
See the bang this stone made on the gate!! i stayed out till our parents came back.


this my same sister once pushed my elder brother and his head banged against an open door and he cried like
one of my sisters; his fore-head was so swollen that my sister pulled her normal stunt:
she packed some clothes and headed for the village to the safety of village aunties and uncles.
My parents came back and after learning what had happened were asking: KEDU NWANNE GI?!!  (where is your sibling?)
We told our mum  that she packed some clothes and left and they went to get her.

when they got home we didnt dare ask her what had happened to her.
after like 2 days the long awaited story emerged:
they got her in one of my uncles house deep in the village and said :" dont worry, we wont beat her o)
But check the jouney home naa: every go-slow my sister go hear SWAZAAA!!! GBOZA!!! GBAWAM.
she said at one junction she wanted to open the car door.
After that she was peace maker between us for long!!

A older relative from the village we didnt know had visited and wandered through the open gate.
we saw him and ran and he pursued us yelling: dont you know me! ! ! ! ! .
Meanwhile my mum was sleeping and dad was watching tele inside.
With child-stealers on my mind i ran through the gates unto the road and this car had to break with full force.
I wouldnt be here today if not for that man stopping the way he did.

Mine were too many.

In Primary school, I used to be in the top 3-4 in my class but in one of our fornightly CA tests I was 12th(Because 6people placed 4th) Dem no born me make I show my dad the report card, So I forged my dads signature and signed it.

2 weeks later my position went back to normal 3rd but I still couldnt show my dad, One day like 5 weeks later my dad checked my bag and found my report card asked when we received it and I said YESTERDAY. He checked it an found that I forged his signature.

YEPARIPA. That was the end of the world, I saw rapture on that day.

My dad stripped me naked and wasted like 6 canes on me. I was fortunate that after like 1 hour of beating one of our relatives came visiting and my beating was Postponed "To be continued"

I still remember the day till today November 5 1987

Man, Where do I start?

lol seriously, the one i could remember was when a cousin of mine came from P/h and we had to go do a shit in the bush since we were in the village and after we were done we discovered he had a RED shit sticking out of his bum. Brave me went and rapped ma hands and tried to cut it off but to no avail and i asked what kind of strong shit is this that refused too cut. little did i know that it was a pile. i almost killed ma cousin.lol

lol i remember one occasion were my mum cooked a very nice meal and left some specially for our visitor. i was the human rat in the house then. so i hurriedly came home from the river and funny enough it was a catfish soup. i ate one side of the tail in the plate and turned the other side. when ma mum returned home, she saw the soup that it has been tempered with and i was the only one that has been home. even though i denied but she new i was the one. guess what she did to me.// after beating the hell out of me, she put peppe in ma eyes and i ran out crying till God knows when.

To all the respondents on this thread;
May your children do twice and above what you have detailed on this thread.
Can i hear a loud AMEN?


[size=20pt]AMEN!!![/size]

mbulela:

To all the respondents on this thread;
May your children do twice and above what you have detailed on this thread.
Can i hear a loud AMEN?


[size=20pt]AMEN!!![/size]

Lol, at least we'll know what to expect. Our own parents didn't even see us coming .

mbulela:

To all the respondents on this thread;
May your children do twice and above what you have detailed on this thread.
Can i hear a loud AMEN?


[size=20pt]AMEN!!![/size]

no wayy abeg

i don 'pay' enough abeg. i cant take that stress

Back in my child hood it was the pratice for the adults to sit in front of the yard on the last day of the school year waiting as we came bak wt our reports card to know who came 1st and vice versa.
Meanwhile,in primary 1 i took tje 2nd,3rd and 7th positions for the 1st,2nd and 3rd terms.
My mom then cautioned me that she doesnt want me going backward but expects me to do better each term.
during the 1st term of primary 2 i moved down from 7th to 15th postion.I rembered my mum warning and was scared to death.
I then went the a corner in the school and used my saliva to clean the 5 beside the 1 so instead of 15th,i now had 1th.
I went home and told my parents i came first.Dad took one look at it and asked why its 1th rather than 1st.i couldnt answer.
the next day he went to the school and the whole thing busted.
I thought i was smart,but alas he caught me.