Ok heres the deal,

I ve got a an old high school mate who i have been trying to get for 6years now,

she knows my intentions and she also shares same feelings as i. under normal

circumstances, she would agree to get serious with but for one issue, DISTANCE,

I was in nigeria few days back on official duties and i was opportunited to meet

her on two occasions, i tried to convince her that we could work something out

but no show,

i guess i hoping that i could come in and we could get down to serious business,

P.S she has met my family already, havent met hers yet,

My question is should i let her be or shd i continue to try to make her understand??

will i be wasting my time??

Your response is highly appreciated

@poster,

there is no infomation in your post.

are you in Nigeria to stay??

are you staying longer in nigeria??

where do you live and where is she?

are you still around her(same country) or are you both seperated from each other now?

Did She open up and tell you anything hersef or you are just imagine and assume she understood the game you are trying to play.

Dude, it seems you are still assuming we on NL are all with you and we knew efery story on ur mind

till you say something i'll assume u havent said anything yet.

best of luck!!

moonraker:

Ok heres the deal,

I ve got a an old high school mate who i have been trying to get for 6years now,

she knows my intentions and she also shares same feelings as i. under normal

circumstances, she would agree to get serious with but for one issue, DISTANCE,

I was in nigeria few days back on official duties and[b] i was opportunited to meet

her on two occasions, i tried to convince her that we could work something out

but no show, [/b]
i guess i hoping that i could come in and we could get down to serious business,

P.S she has met my family already, havent met hers yet,

My question is should i let her be or shd i continue to try to make her understand??

will i be wasting my time??

Your response is highly appreciated

Distance is not your only issue here, the girl is not even into it. Love goes both way, and in this case you will
be the only one doing the loving, which is eventually gonna break down at the end of the day.

I am sorry to say unless you both make an agreement to each other this relationship will be going no where.

Thats just my opinion, am sure there are many more to come, read and think hard.

@ jfking2005

I am not based in nigeria,

I dont live in nigeria, she is based in nigeria,

she actually understands where i am heading to, if yu look at my first post, i stated that i have been trying to

convince her for the past 6years, we went to same high school so its not someone i just saw on the streets of lagos. i am based in japan.

I am sorry if i gave u the perception that i havent made a move on her yet becos i have. its like a national anthem,

@ rokiatu

you have a point. but i figured that if she wasnt interested, then she wouldnt

have agreed to meet me in the first place no??

well then give it a go and see

i say stay and see what happens

By the way has she complained about the distance between the both of you or this is just something you came up with. Also since you are based in japan are you trying to get her to come over when all is said and done or what is the ultimate plan.

@ omega25red

thank you ver much for yur response,

she was the one who raised the issue of distance. she said she really wants to knw the real me,

my ultimate plan is to bring her over,

distance is a biatch ain't it.
as for me i think the real probs is that you guys did not really
get to know each other first
and its gonna be difficult
the only situation distance could really work is if you guys had hit it off before you travelled
anyways goodluck hope she understands that you really love her
i would not blame her though
she is only doing the right thing

@poster, u hv a genuine intention but the girl might be scared n i dnt blame her, because most times all u oversea guys r nt to be trusted.
* i dnt believe dat dis girl is nt into you. . .

moonraker:

@ omega25red

thank you ver much for yur response,

she was the one who raised the issue of distance. she said she really wants to knw the real me,

my ultimate plan is to bring her over,

well from what you have said, it seems like she is interested but she is also smart too because anyone in their right mind would not cultivate a relationship with someone they dont really know even if you talk 24hr a day on the phone is the body language and facial expressions that count. so if i were you i would let her know my intentions and you will have to devote a lot of time to communication. using skype, yahoo messanger, and any other chat that would allow you to use video chat. you will have so much to do regarding maintaining the relationship if she agrees. good luck bro

DISTANCE! DISTANCE!! DISTANCE!!!

how many times wld pple ask dis questions and hw many times wld u pple keep replying?

[quote author=topup link=topic=4
Sad issue really. .

But what if she's right, what if you two starting something now is too dangerous and could jeopardise things.

Has she ever made it clear how she really feels about you, as in both of you talking about the future, this is where (if she truly cares) she would mention the conditions - hers of course. Like how if you two can live in the same country she would give it a try or any other condition. Leaving you in the dark is not cool.

She seems not to be into this as much as you are, I'm sure distance or no distance if a guy >I liked< had been hooked on me for 6 years, I would know that he was definitely out for me and would somehow want to secure him, either by planning out our future and trying to reassure him that things will get better and after we sort things out we can begin our relationship or by going for the plunge and dating him despite the distance (after all - without a relationship he has still been loyal to me).

If you've not been loyal to her, as in for 6 years you've been chasing her and in that time, several other girls just as intensely then she's being smart and picking up on the signs, but really she should have made her feelings clear a long time ago.

Also, I would meet a guy I liked up to chat if he was in town, or even just a friend, that doesn't mean I want to get serious, I'm just nice - what if he has something really serious to say.

I believe you need to corner this girl with some questions, you need to get some definite answers.

Fair enough she has a problem with distance, but what is sh doing to alleviate that problem? Does she want you to do something, if so what? Does she have no faith in the relationship, is she even interested? Is there someone near where she lives who she is interested in? Is she just keeping you on the bench??


Well said, i love the way you really analysed it