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Stats: 1,946,610 members, 4,034,181 topics. Date: Friday, 19 January 2018 at 12:57 AM
|The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 8:07am On Jan 14|
BY JOHN SCOTT LEWINSKI
Whether it’s Hot lions on the Serengeti, red deer in heat on the Island of Rum, or snow monkeys humping on Mount Fuji, every species of mammal seems to share a common sexual practice. Intercourse is stunningly quick.
The males thrust and growl just long enough to satisfy instinct and make delivery before withdrawing and heading back to hunting, running, or sleeping.
The only mammals who work to extend sexual congress for longer periods purely for the sake of pleasure are humans. That’s right, guys like you and me. And when we’re not able to hold off on our orgasms, ejaculating quicker than our partners might enjoy, we blame ourselves.
According to the Mayo Clinic, premature ejaculation curses one in three men nationally. That’s about 50 million anxiety-riddled guys thinking about baseball, or starting and stopping endlessly just to hold it together. Every time a guy has an orgasm quicker than he or his lady might have wanted, he feels like a failure.
But what if he’s wrong? What if the exact opposite is true?
“Only in human society is fast orgasm undesirable,” says Dr. Brian Steixner, M.D., Director of the Institute of Men’s Health at Jersey Urology Group in Atlantic City. “If we all had fifteen inch joysticks and could last two hours like porn stars, we would never have kids and our species wouldn't survive. Lasting 10 seconds means more chances of kids—more offspring. Our species endures.”
Dr. Steixner explains that a man’s ability to become aroused, stimulate and ejaculate quickly grew out of the darkest periods of human evolution, when we were under constant threat from predators, rival tribes, the elements, and everything else we’ve more or less conquered these days.
Unfortunately, male physiognomy didn’t get the memo yet that our modern bedrooms are generally free of saber tooth tigers, so it’s OK to relax and enjoy sex a little longer.
“PE is far and away the most common male sexual dysfunction I see in my practice,” Dr. Steixner admits. “It’s also the most tragic. It trumps erectile dysfunction exponentially and is more difficult to treat, because men’s expectations for performance are impossible.”
Dr. Landon Trost, M.D., a urologist and Head of Andrology and Male Infertility at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, says the average “normal” American man lasts 13 minutes. Europeans only last 10, and the always-efficient Germans just 7 minutes.
“Every day I have to consider how to tell some [PE patients] that they don’t really have a problem,” Dr. Trost says.
The really serious cases—guys who can only last less than one minute, have “higher rates of depression and experienced bedwetting,” says Dr. Trost. “Those cases are pathological, but that’s only 1% of the instances we see.”
Dr. Steixner says he regularly meets with patients desperate to be “cured.” He tells those guys that their condition is normal. In fact, evolution says PE sufferers are actually more evolved than other men. But that doesn’t solve much.
“I don’t expect that me saying, ‘Congratulations. You’re evolutionally superior. You’re the strongest wolf in the forest’ helps at all. Our society says we need to perform, so I offer treatment options.”
Options like muscle development to delay climax—a form of pelvic floor training that are basically Kegel exercises for men. But Dr. Steixner reports most men won’t commit to such a program because of desperation. They want a quick fix.
Most of the quick fixes aren’t especially tempting, ranging from numbing topical sprays to Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors—pills usually prescribed for depression and anxiety, but with the common side effect of prohibiting or delaying orgasm—to, scariest of all, surgery that cuts nerves on the joystick to deaden sensation and allow a man to last longer.
There’s another, less invasive option: Learn to realize that your ejaculations are functions of the nervous system. It’s largely out of your deliberate control.
A pill like Viagra might temporarily “cure” erectile dysfunction, but there’s no 100% effective medical treatment for a bodily operation that’s working not only properly, but too efficiently.
If a man can’t forgive his own evolved biology and his partner is unwilling to accept that he’s simply not going to roll for an hour, it might time to consult a different kind of doctor.
Dr. Claudia Ressel-Hodan, Psy.D., is a St. Petersburg, Florida-based cognitive and behavioral therapist working with men and couples across the country. She says that a man experiencing PE needs to explore the origins of his anxiety.
“Is the man comparing himself to what he has seen in porn movies?” she asks. “Or has his partner imposed some unrealistic expectation?”
Decreasing the anxiety often means developing realistic beliefs and expectations. “I have couples focus not on intercourse but rather pleasuring each other,” Dr. Ressel-Hodan says. This means both partners learning that sexual pleasure can occur even without an erect joystick inside a vagina.
When the whole show doesn’t depend on your joystick, it takes some of the pressure off. “The anxiety is then decreased because the fear of not meeting an expectation that was unrealistic is gone,” Dr. Ressel-Hodan says.
And when there are no more expectations, you just might find that little problem starts to disappear all on its own.
“Without anxiety, better control is obtained,” Dr. Ressel-Hodan says.
Dr. Trost employs similar methods, and reports between 45% to 98% success combating PE over the short term. The key is letting guys figure out on their own that difficult truth Dr. Trost wants to tell every PE patient during his first appointment with them:
“There’s nothing wrong with you, man. That’s just how you’re supposed to work.”
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 8:10am On Jan 14|
I wish most men would read this and free themselves from the pressure of lasting longer in bed. Because that's the only parmanent cure to the problem of PE.
It's a long read, but it's worth it. I just wanted to share with my fellow guys here on Nairaland who perhaps haven't seen this until now.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 8:11am On Jan 14|
See story two seconds/minutes men tell to console each other.
Abeg, you're a two minutes man, life cannot give you everything.
4 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by FrancisDozie: 8:12am On Jan 14|
On a Sunday morning this is your problem?
2 Likes 1 Share
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by OgahBohz(m): 8:36am On Jan 14|
I dey suspect you
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 9:06am On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 9:07am On Jan 14|
Not at all. You didn't read the whole article. You would have understood better. That was the doctor telling the PE patients. It's just a therapy to make them relax and feel normal about themselves.
The truth is, 1 out of 3 men are suffering from that mostly due to anxiety and self induced believe that has reconfigured their nervous system.
The surest and parmanent cure is what has been explained in that article by doctors. It's all in the mind.
The moment you suffer Premature Ejaculation once or twice, the fear sets in and if you don't discard that fear, it becomes recurrent.
It's a confident issue. Before you go down, you begin to have this fear of "Before I bang 2 minutes now, this thing will sweet me again and I will pour" and that's it. The moment that thought comes into your mind, you find yourself ejaculating almost immediately.
That's why most men continue to suffer from PE. And that's why some suffer from erectile dysfunction. Because due to fear of coming so quickly, they try to distract their minds from the pleasure, consequently, the d**ck becomes flacid mid-intercourse.
All what I am trying to explain is that most of these problems we guys encounter, like PE, ED, are most times occurring in our minds, and not our organs.
That's why the doctor admonishes that they are normal, to try reset and recondition their minds. And once they begin to believe that nothing is wrong with them physically or health-wise, that will be the beginning of their rehabilitation.
5 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 9:15am On Jan 14|
Princefrankie1:It's not normal jare, are they not supposed to perform? The preek is not there to function for two seconds na.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 9:16am On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by donstan18(m): 9:18am On Jan 14|
How many days man do you deal with?
5 Likes 1 Share
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 9:20am On Jan 14|
1 Like 1 Share
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 9:25am On Jan 14|
No qualms dear. No qualms.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 10:24am On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by daryoor(m): 11:06am On Jan 14|
the unsurprising truth is that 21st century women wants to be fvcked for a long time an have orgasms till their puzzies go sore
so...drink alomo before nacking
2 Likes 1 Share
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by yeyerolling: 11:11am On Jan 14|
daryoor:and dstroy ya kidney nd liver abi
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Nutase(f): 11:16am On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by benzics(m): 11:23am On Jan 14|
what about we that suffer from DE? How i wish i am like the normal '10 minutes' man... Sex for long is really not enjoyable, you just keep pumping for hours wondering if you'll ever cum... Everything na problem sha
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Princefrankie1(m): 11:36am On Jan 14|
Yea. You too.
Enjoy the rest of your day.✌️✌️
1 Like 1 Share
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by fr3do(m): 12:58pm On Jan 14|
Ejaculation may be an involuntary action, but the stages a man passes before reaching climax can easily be controlled by his mind. Preoccupying the mind can turn a 3 minutes man to a 45 minutes man.
A trick that works is counting your strokes from 100 down to zero, for more control you can count in steps of 2 or 3.
In your mind.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by fr3do(m): 1:03pm On Jan 14|
Squeeze ur legs together and stretch.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by anibirelawal(m): 1:15pm On Jan 14|
Because the primary objective of sex is for reproduction. so if you are so quick in your ehn....... you are a sharp shooter!
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Nygma(m): 2:00pm On Jan 14|
The day I received the greatest disgrace of my life was when I cummed at just the fifth thrust after promising the babe hard wood for 4 hours. Mehn I pulled up my shorts and quickly left.I never passed her street again but the bitch snitched and her friends still laugh at me till today.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by akeentech(m): 2:14pm On Jan 14|
Thank God I be 3 secs man
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by HimName: 2:44pm On Jan 14|
Premature Ejaculation thing hasn't been well spelt out.
To me, it's just a one way thought.
On what standard do you judge your longevity status.
A 45 minutes condom guy might be a 2 minutes guy with the real deal while a 12 minutes skin guy might go 50 minutes on condom.
It's always easy talking about PE without laying emphasis on factors involved.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by anibirelawal(m): 2:51pm On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by KanuJEWSarePIGS: 3:23pm On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Belafonte: 3:30pm On Jan 14|
I will give you Blessing's number. She will make it pleasurable no matter how long you go.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by akeentech(m): 4:07pm On Jan 14|
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Chukazu: 4:09pm On Jan 14|
But seriously...must you Rob it on their faces ?
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by makydebbie(f): 4:20pm On Jan 14|
Chukazu:That's the aim.
|Re: The Surprising Truth About Premature Ejaculation by Chukazu: 4:34pm On Jan 14|
You are seriously looking for war between Nigeria and Ghana, but we too big for that; we wee colonize you guys instead
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