Hi guys,

Been working on this story since forever and if I don't post and get some feedback I doubt I will had the drive to make progress.

So read and tell me what you think.

Xoxoxo

LONELY NIGHTS

As i lay down to sleep this night, all alone with a lot of thoughts going through my mind. What is going on in his home right now, is he in bed with her while i lay down here all by myself. Feelings of jealousy engulf me. Does she make him feel the same way i make him feel, does she kiss him like i do (i don't think she can ever cus i am damn good at it) Is he holding her in his arms right now while i am here alone all by myself. Is he making love to her right now while my body is crying to be loved at the moment. Tears form at the corners of my eyes but i try to fight them away. I am a strong woman i tel myself. Being in this relationship is so damn hard cus i ant him to be with me always which is impossible. A voice in my head tells me "you knew what you were getting into right from the beginning, you knew you couldn't have him all to your self, you knew there was someone before you came into his life so pull yourself together". But i love him, and i want to be with him. I truly care about him. I dont want to hurt him, i dont want to hurt his family, i just want us to be together. pray to forget my predicament and before i know it, i drift into sleep while all my troubles lay waiting for me in the morning.

WHAT THE LORD HAS JOINED TOGETHER

I have a relatives wedding to attend on a weekend.
Weddings are beautiful, the dresses, the happiness on the face of everyone, its just a lovely atmosphere. As i help in getting the bride get dressed for her big day, i think to myself 'how will you get to wea a dress when you are with him. dont to want to experiencethis day in front of God and man. I quickly shut those thoughts out of my head. We need to hurry up in order to get to the church on time.
As I open the next page of the wedding programme that morning and the words starring at me were from the holy scriptures "what the Lord has joined together, let no one put asunder". It felt like the words ere pointing at me, telling me you are guilty. I quickly turn to the next page as a bit of guilt overwhelmed me. Now dont get me wrong, yes i am dating a married man but i am not putting anything asunder, I only want some space created for me in the union.

GENESIS

In my wildest dreams i never, ever for once thought i would end up like this. Being second place aint no fun. sometimes you want to be with him or hear his voice but he is unavailable to talk to you right then. Especially during the cold lonely nights when you want his voice to keep you warm at least, since you obviously dont have his body cus he aint with you
i always wanted to be the one and only, to not share my man with anyone, to be the only apple in his eyes, the only one he thinks of, the one he returns to after work and all. But life dosent always give us what we want. The single men are so annoying, always feeling like they got all the chicks in the world and take you for granted, not smartenough in some cases and just too damn childish. The matured ones have been through life and are calmer, sensitive, and just want to make you happy. Problem is when they get to this stage where they posess all these desirable qualities, majority are married. And every woman wants the best man in her life.
So since the single ones are not available or good enough, you try the married ones, and that is what i did.

PSYCHOSIS

I called him at night. Wanted to chat with him. Tell him how my day went. All the troubles at the office. All the pressures from my Manager. I needed to talk it out with him, because he is the only one who understands me. He is the one who can comfort me and calm me down. We talked and talked, it was soon beautiful hearing his voice. So calming. So perfect.

Till I heard a sound over the phone, my instincts said it was her, my nemesis. I will never forget the words he spoke before cutting me off 'Okay I will send the package over to you tomorrow' . The sorrow I felt upon hearing these words can never be described. I was filled with a deep hatred immediately, hatred for she who dared to come in between our discourse. Hatred for she who has torn apart our beautiful moment. Hatred for she who is a stumbling block to my happiness with him.

I was overcome with jealousy, filled with rage, probably borderline psychotic. I decided to snoop on her, find out who she really was, her features, what she does when she isn't with him. Couldn't trust a private investigator to give me the details I needed. So I took a week off work. Claimed my doctor recommended I get my appendix removed. Started browsing through her social media pages. Was able to get more information about her job, her family, her struggles with life. I waited for her outside her office building in my car. Saw her saying goodbyes to her colleagues as she closed for the day. Trailed her as she drove to the mall. Walked in right behind her as she shopped for groceries. Seeing her pick out a shaving cream for her made me grow madder at her. It is I who should be getting him anything he needs. She was incapable of taking care of him like I could. She didn't deserve him, I did.
As she left the mall and drove home, I drove behind her till she got into her driveway. I was parked a few houses away. Then his call came in. Wanted to know how my day want. I lied I was at work and had to make arrangements to travel out to for a conference in another state with my boss and i would be leaving first thing in the morning. He told me he would miss me and I said he should come over so we could spend time together. He said he would be over in an hour.
I drove crazily home. Didn't even obey the red sign of the traffic light. Wanted to get home and get ready for him who I loved more than anything in the world. Who I was willing to do anything to be with. Who I was ready to make sacrifices for.
Just as I finished dressing up he walked in and gave a tight hug, and the kiss I had been longing for. He told me he missed me. And I said ' Don't worry my love, we will soon be together without any distractions, forever'

MY CONFESSION


Torn between good and evil,
I become clothed with wickedness.
My heart became hardened,
My conscience had departed.


The next day, I walked into a church, seeking neither redemption nor salvation. I knelt before the priest and said 'Forgive me father, for I am about to commit a sin.' The priest, shocked to his marrows, tried to convince me otherwise but I was determined.
He prayed for me and I left. Ready to plot the downfall of she who was a stumbling block on my happiness.


DIRGE:

I confess that I am in an unholy union with a married man.

I confess that I tried not to fall for his charms, to ignore him, but he persisted.

I confess that he made me feel cherished, feel special, feel adored.

I confess that I fell madly in love with him over time.

I confess that I would do anything to have him to myself, everlasting.

Hmmm.....women, we are our own enemy, nice one op.

Wow...I guess the heart really wants what it wants...Nice one

Keep it coming Sugar

Enjoying every bit of it. Kudos to the writer