Buhari, Sex Doll, and Others

Segun and Osaro over bottles of beer.

"Have you heard of the sex doll? I heard it's coming to Nigeria next week."

"White men are now mad. They have nothing else to invent again. I don't think it will sell in Nigeria. People have bigger problems."

"That is the idea. You can't break your bones during the day, and still be miserable at night."

"But I heard it's quite expensive. Where will you get such an amount to buy plastic?"

"Who is going to buy? We just need it to land Aba, and our brothers there will give us cheap versions"

"Hehehehe....... Talking about Aba, by now that city should be an industrial hub, churning out world class products."

"Should, but this is Nigeria. The only thing our elected officials are bothered about is winning the next elections"

"Very pathetic. Fashola said yesterday that no capital projects was executed for 2017 because the budget was not passed on time."

"Ah, he would have said because Jonathan was corrupt na. Buhari and blame is like five and six."

"To think he wants to contest again in 2019. A government that lied to us they weren't paying subsidy.... only to be telling us later....."

"See ehn, that is not even my pain. My pain is the fact that Buhari doesn't say anything. When last did you hear him speak about any of this issue?"

"All he does is smile briskly at the camera with his oversized Blvgari glasses."

"All the allegation of corruption in his government have been swept under the carpet."

"What do you expect? PDP was umbrella, they were shielding corruption. APC broom, they sweep corrupt cases under the carpet."

"2019 should come joor."

"What will happen. The best is that you will vote in Atiku and PDP. The same set of persons we ran away from."

"When you are in between the devil and the deep blue sea, where will you go?"

"There's too much hunger in the land, I don't even have strength to walk."

"You're crazy! But you have money to buy beer. It's just two hundred naira na"

"Eh, Mama Nkechi said its three hundred now o. The cost of transporting the crates has gone up..and nothing goes up in this country and comes down."

"We just have to enjoy life the little way we can"

"That's why I'm patiently waiting for my sex doll."

"Don't go and marry. After the hell fire you are suffering in this country, you want to still die and continue.."

"Ah, is it a sin to use sex doll?"

© Sunday Erhunmwunse