I am extremely tired of people bringing forward the whole "sexual compatibility" argument to justify premarital intimacy!

God gave us the command to not engage in it till we are married. (in the Bible)
God knows that we do not have to have intimacy before marriage to know whether we are compatible.
After marriage you have ample time to discover what your partner likes and grow together sexually.

God knows what is best for us or Are humans now smarter than God?

Humans created the whole sexual compatibly thing to justify why they cannot hold themselves till marriage.
I understand that is is very HARD to do so but it irritates me to hear imaginary arguments.
People should simply say that they are Hot and they like it instead of making up silly so-called "facts".

I also hear "would you buy a car without test drivng it" nonsense!! Well guess what? cars do not have emotions and driving cars is not a sin, does not spread std's or bring innocent babies into this world!

Some people will say there is scientific evidence, well my response to that is that science also said we came from apes and the world came about from a random 'big bang'

I have question, tell me this:
How come all the "sexually compatible couples" keep jumping from one partner to another and before they settle down for marriage they have a host of sexual partners behind them?

Anyways, whatever silences your conscience and helps you sleep at night.

God help us all.

Ehen, so you talk to God eh? Please help me ask him about that SLR McLaren I've been asking him about, I need it already.

Ok, now that you have modified your post and I see where you're coming from, let's discuss:

Girl846:

!

God gave us the command to not engage in it till we are married. (in the Bible)

I take it you're referring to the Christian God, as revealed to you by your Bible. What then happens to all the billions of people who are not Christians, the same rules don't apply to them, right?



How come the married couples who have "discovered themselves" still end up getting divorced, sometimes destroying their children's lives in the process?


Does the fact that you don't agree with some theories of science mean all theories of science are wrong? How then do you explain your being on the web?


The truth is, before you get married to anybody, you should make sure that you're compatible in all aspects of your life that you consider important, not only sex. If you're perfect fits sexually and your characters or your life goals don't meld, then obviously the relationship is not going anywhere, just like a perpetually Hot man shouldn't get married to a frigid chick, no matter how well their characters seem to fit. If, however, you feel that se.x is not really important to your having a wonderful marriage, and the God that brought you guys together will help you meet each other's sexual needs, good for you, don't test your sexual compatibility, most times what we believe ends up working for us.

As for me and my house. . .you know how we roll .

You are funny,

When science and my bible clash - I will pick my bible thanks!
Its not only Christianity, but a lot of religions and traditions share this view, Jewish, Islam, Hindu sects, etc.

I can throw that question back at you, how come couples that explore their 'sexual compatibility' before marriage end up being unfaithful or getting divorced, why didnt the so-called 'sexual compatibility' keep them faithful or hold them together?
Actually, I saw statistics that prove that divorce rates for people that enter marriage as virgins and attend church regularly have divorce rates of about 50% less than others in America (I cant remember where i saw the source but I will post it here when I find it)

I never said I did not think intimacy is not important in a marriage. I know it is an essential part of marriage but I do not need to go hoping from one sexual relationship to another in the potentially dangerous quest of finding sexual compatibility.
I trust God will bring me a partner that is my best match, and compatible with me in all aspects of life, emotionally, socially, romantically, physically etc

indeed

sexual compatibility is developed. It is not inborn. Therefore we should not look for it before marriage. We can develop it after marriage.

"Testing" before marriage has temporary joys and long lasting injuries. Remaining a virgin till marriage has temporary wishes and lasting joys.

Most ladies do not like sex as much after birth. If a lady was tested and found good, what happens if later, she is one that loves sex less and does not perform then?

What happens to a lady's perception of her husband if there was a guy then that performed better than her husband? same for guys too.

why do we want to"test" when we know that level of performance will not be constant but will fall over time?

Ask yourself this question and sincerely answer it - If you know that your marital partner has been involved with so may guys/gals before your marriage, will you be comfortable with that knowledge will the marriage last?

The fact that the many are into "Testing" does not make it the right thing to do. It never and will never be the right thing to do.

All these happens because we live in a world that feel they know more than God. Ride on with your self-deception and happily leave with the pains that come after.

poster u don miss road

religious section is THAT WAY!!!

but u remind me i watched a movie abt this yesterday

picture perfect, quite booring but along the same lines

Interesting!!!!!!

The poster is stating the obvious truth.

War horse, thanks for you insightful comment

Girl846

Thats because you started it. Thanks for standing for the truth irrespective of the many against it.

ravenzord:

Ok, now that you have modified your post and I see where you're coming from, let's discuss:

I take it you're referring to the Christian God, as revealed to you by your Bible. What then happens to all the billions of people who are not Christians, the same rules don't apply to them, right?



How come the married couples who have "discovered themselves" still end up getting divorced, sometimes destroying their children's lives in the process?


Does the fact that you don't agree with some theories of science mean all theories of science are wrong? How then do you explain your being on the web?


The truth is, before you get married to anybody, you should make sure that you're compatible in all aspects of your life that you consider important, not only intimacy. If you're perfect fits sexually and your characters or your life goals don't meld, then obviously the relationship is not going anywhere, just like a perpetually Hot man shouldn't get married to a frigid chick, no matter how well their characters seem to fit. If, however, you feel that se.x is not really important to your having a wonderful marriage, and the God that brought you guys together will help you meet each other's sexual needs, good for you, don't test your sexual compatibility, most times what we believe ends up working for us.

As for me and my house. . .you know how we roll .

Thank you @ravenzord!! It is good to hear someone tell it as it is.

@poster, am a woman like you and honestly, I cannot see my self marrying a man who does not know how to get down! Yes, the Bible does request that abstinence should be practiced but we both know that just like the Bible says 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'. When you talk about divorce rates I honestly think you should get your facts straight, SEX is a major reason why lots of marriages collapse!! Money can be ignored because it will always be gotten but SEX my darling cannot be bought in a marriage or worked for. You either sabi wetin dey or you no sabi!!

I have dated enough men ohhh!! The main problem NIgerian men have is that they believe all they need to do is bang away and the fun is done. Some try in a very pathetic way to lap, my lesbian girlfriend does so well, and I end up wondering what in the name of *** are they doing!!!? You will find them sweating and panting from pumping so hard that you cannot help but wonder if they think this is a marathon they are running.

That doesn't mean I have not had a few good men!!! AM currently steady with a guy who does wonders in bed!! we are talking of marriage.

All said and done @poster, will you marry a man who has a penis size of 3.5inch? Or that ejaculates before the act starts? Or comes as soon as he enters you? Ohh, am sorry, I forgot you are not seeking for sexual compatibility!! My apologies!!! But tell me, how will you feel when you are married and your friends all talk about how good they felt when their man did so and so to them and you are wondering WTF are you talking about?

I CANNOT!!!

Believe me no matter how Christian you are, one day, you will meet someone who will set your body on fire and there ends the story!!! It's such like you that fall prey to pastors and brothers in the church. Shorey oh!!!

Ebi79:

Thank you @ravenzord!! It is good to hear someone tell it as it is.

@poster, am a woman like you and honestly, I cannot see my self marrying a man who does not know how to get down!

Hope you accept that you may not be the only one having him after marrying him cos other girls who knew him as on who know how to get down will be after him too - During his "Testing" days he must have gathers fans who will still need him sometimes

Ebi79:

Yes, the Bible does request that abstinence should be practiced but we both know that just like the Bible says 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'.

True, it may not be easy to abstain but its worth it most times. And what is more, the bible has words, advise and principles to help you do it. Try reading your bible daily and you will be surprised how much power you will have to ward off "Testing".

Ebi79:

When you talk about divorce rates I honestly think you should get your facts straight, intimacy is a major reason why lots of marriages collapse!! Money can be ignored because it will always be gotten but intimacy my darling cannot be bought in a marriage or worked for. You either sabi wetin dey or you no sabi!!

My sister, talk true, how many pple dey sabi am for their first experience? you can work on it to become perfect performer. Its only when you have "Tested" before that you can tell if your partner is got or not. If you have not "tested" before, the first is always sweet.

Ebi79:


I have dated enough men ohhh!!

That doesn't mean I have not had a few good men!!! AM currently steady with a guy who does wonders in bed!! we are talking of marriage.

Your haven dated men makes you see this from your current view point. This your wonder-in-bed guy, are you sure he will not want to show other girls his wonders-in-bed after your marriage? Are you sure other girls are not bidding for his wonder-in-bed too? No go be shareholder o! Sole proprietorship of your man is better for your emotional health o!

Ebi79:


All said and done @poster, will you marry a man who has a manliness size of 3.5inch? Or that ejaculates before the act starts? Or comes as soon as he enters you? Ohh, am sorry, I forgot you are not seeking for sexual compatibility!! My apologies!!! But tell me, how will you feel when you are married and your friends all talk about how good they felt when their man did so and so to them and you are wondering WTF are you talking about?

I CANNOT!!!

Believe me no matter how Christian you are, one day, you will meet someone who will set your body on fire and there ends the story!!! It's such like you that fall prey to pastors and brothers in the church. Shorey oh!!!

what is the percentage of performing men/women to non performing men/women? The performers are more. Let us save the best for last. True, it can be awful to have a partner thats poor in bed. But almost often, you can tell from your conversations about s.e,x. early e.jaculation and erectile issues can be worked on.

Let us save our marriages wether you are married now or not. Save your future marriage. My sister, after marriage, man nor dey respect woman wen do a lot of "testing" o. I am a man and sit with men to discourse. How will you feel if you know that you were married only for child bearing?

Once the s.e,x drive is there, an appreciable level of satisfaction can be attained after marriage. if intimacy cannot be learned, why do we have books on it everywhere?

I do not mean to hurt your feelings. I understand that when you start s.e,x and love it, there is hardly a turn back. But na leaf wen sweet dey kill goat.

Why you all up in my bedroom business? Handle your business the way you see fit and I`ll take care of mine. Cool?

^^ hey hows ur issue goin on??

We`re resolving it. They`re easing up on me and am taking `How to be a kickass Naija wife` tips from here. Hard work I tell you, might even have to quit my job

@ OP

I have been trying to give my life to Christ and because of people like you who are always spouting Bible verses in the Romance section, I have never had any need to visit the Religion section. May God bless you for this and continue to enlarge your territory.


^{Coughing and spluttering} I have an innocent question,  ^{I feel shy when saying this}, but I am a virgin like you too, so you are one of my honourary role model on Nairaland I have noticed though that you think/talk about se.x a lot, meaning it is always on your mind, infact 99.99% of all your posts seems to contain a reference to it (preaching about abstinence, berating and slatting those who are doing it, talking about how you can't wait to do it with your own husband who would God-willing be a virgin too, etc . . .)


Now my query is that is this a pre-requisite of the Christian faith?

Do I have to talk/think about "it" everyday? ^{Keep what mind pure?}


People perish for lack of knowledge so what "educational" books do I need to be reading to prepare and arm myself for my wedding night ?


The devil is a liar so me and my husband must conquer and not be defeated that night, we are overcomers afterall so what spicy por.n racy films do I need to be watching to help me learn the techniques I would need for that night?


I really need to know cos I am scared I would not be able to keep up with you the way you namedrop this "act" and I don't want anything to hinder my relationship and walk with God

Yes, It is true that most of my posts are in the romance section and related to intimacy. Let me explain, I am a upcoming youth leader at church.
I seriously think that today's youth are doomed and are falling flat on their faces to the devils plans. When I think about it I cry.
I am happy to know that my post has helped you. That is all i need, to make an impact on at least one soul. Because I know a lot of people on NL will not like my posts and what I stand for. The truth hurts i guess .

One of the major ways that the devil captures youths is fornication. He knows it is very addictive and he also knows that no fornicator will enter the kingdom of heaven. This is his plan to prevent us from entering heaven.
We are in the ends times and dangerous lifestyles are really risky.
I am afraid for the youths of today.

Yes there are other sins but fornication/immorality is one of those sins that is blatantly done. Its become so serious to the extent were people think is necessary and required! People do not even think it is bad anymore.
Fornication is also one of those sins that leads to a host of other sins and feelings like lust, disobedience, cheating, jealousy, greed, guilt, anger, murder (abortion) etc
People are spitting in the face of God and falling for this deception.

Lastly, let me point out that I am not a saint, nobody is perfect.
I have only recently given my life fully to Christ about 2 years ago and have been trying to be faithful ever since.
I have a boyfriend who respects my choice and we try not to put ourselves in tempting compromising situation. We are doing fine so far
I try to keep my mind pure, listening to only good music, watching decent movies, keeping good friends, regular worship etc

I commend you for trying to be true in your walk with God. Trust me, it is a daily struggle and we all fall from time to time. But as long as we keep going back to God, we will be okay. Ask God to give you the strength. Good luck dear!

Busy_body:

@ OP

I have been trying to give my life to Christ and because of people like you who are always spouting Bible verses in the Romance section, I have never had any need to visit the Religion section. May God bless you for this and continue to enlarge your territory.


^{Coughing and spluttering} I have an innocent question,  ^{I feel shy when saying this}, but I am a virgin like you too, so you are one of my honourary role model on Nairaland I have noticed though that you think/talk about se.x a lot, meaning it is always on your mind, infact 99.99% of all your posts seems to contain a reference to it (preaching about abstinence, berating and slatting those who are doing it, talking about how you can't wait to do it with your own husband who would God-willing be a virgin too, etc . . .)


Now my query is that is this a pre-requisite of the Christian faith?

Do I have to talk/think about "it" everyday? ^{Keep what mind pure?}


People perish for lack of knowledge so what "educational" books do I need to be reading to prepare and arm myself for my wedding night ?


The devil is a liar so me and my husband must conquer and not be defeated that night, we are overcomers afterall so what spicy por.n racy films do I need to be watching to help me learn the techniques I would need for that night?


I really need to know cos I am scared I would not be able to keep up with you the way you namedrop this "act" and I don't want anything to hinder my relationship and walk with God

abeg free the girl, what she said is true, ppl make all kinds of excuses to engage in what they already had their minds set to do, s3x included

@poster

Believe it or leave it, virginity is more of 60% Discipline, and about 35% of Religious Belief, and mayb 5% other factors. I speak with experience. Most Church brothers and sisters have done it before, but u see pple (girls and boys) who are nt all that religious but are still virgins.

After all, in those days when there were many virgins, when girls married mainly as virgins, Christianity (I dont know about Islam) was not rife and explicit the way it is today. I know some girls who are virgins today NOT b/c they are strong born-again Xtians, but b/c they told themselves, "I am not going to do it till I get married." One is 25, the other is 32, another 34 years.

Whichever position one takes, good luck to the person. The truth is that premarital s3x or lack of it may not guarantee a marital bliss.

This is just my uncensored, personal opinion.

lol, i think this poster needs an orgasm. premarital s.ex is not good? why didn't God make my hormones inactive until i'm married?

girl 846 i think busy body was actually taking the piss??


buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

@ LadyLocs, Thank you o!you spok ma mind.

I wonder why ppl get in da bussines of my bedroom, interestingly in da name of the creator.

Abeg I rule ma bedroom, u rule ur own.

Ormania:

@ LadyLocs,  Thank you o!you spok ma mind.

I wonder why ppl get in da bussines of my bedroom, interestingly in da name of the creator. 

Abeg I rule ma bedroom, u rule your own. 

Of course you rule your bedroom - ladylocs you too! I'm not interested in ruling your bedroom! no thanks!
After all, we all have our individual lives to live, but I would also like you to know that 'one day',
you will stand before God Almighty and explain what happened in that bedroom of yours while you were unmarried!
We will be judged for everything we do on this earth, the good and the bad.
All in all, Its up to you to do whatever you want with yourself, afterall I will not bear the consequences of your actions.

Jaidey-one:

lol, i think this poster needs an heavenly feeling. premarital s.ex is not good? why didn't God make my hormones inactive until i'm married?

dont worry, God go tell u why on judgement day

Girl846:

Of course you rule your bedroom - ladylocs you too! I'm not interested in ruling your bedroom! no thanks!
After all, we all have our individual lives to live, but I would also like you to know that 'one day',
you will stand before God Almighty and explain what happened in that bedroom of yours while you were unmarried!
We will be judged for everything we do on this earth, the good and the bad.
All in all, Its up to you to do whatever you want with yourself, afterall I will not bear the consequences of your actions.

Na wa oh! Guys imagin on judgment day i standing infront of GOD and he saking me "You ! wht were u doing on that day wt dat gal on dat bed, " Kai! which kinda God be this? Abeg i belive there are more important things than this about which God is gonna question u about! I belive in dat! Hypocrites are the ones gonna sweat than ppl with lots of bed stories! C'on, there are plenty things that God is gonna hold us responsible to not this one. At least 4 me. Ofcors u wont bear da consequences of my actions neithr u 4 mine. Keep peace among ur ppl, dont insult me for my oppinion, thats what God is gonna ask u abt, i guess! PEACE 

Poster. I agree with u , but u seem to be on a high horse.
I had dis conversation with a girl, and she was all for testing.
Yet she's an ardent church goer.

Jsut leave pple to their conscience. Do u think they don't know wat they re doing?

ssumpta:

Poster. I agree with u , but u seem to be on a high horse.
I had dis conversation with a girl, and she was all for testing.
Yet she's an ardent church goer.

Jsut leave pple to their conscience. Do u think they don't know wat they re doing?

I know I may come off as self righteous, but all what I have said in this post is not 'my' own saying nor 'my' own personal rules.
I am simply advocating what the bible says.
I'm sure every Christian or Muslim knows what is said about pre-marital relations in the bible or qu'ran, so what I am saying in this post should not be offensive or a surprise or news to anyone.

Girl846:

I know I may come off as self righteous, but all what I have said in this post is not 'my' own saying nor 'my' own personal rules.
I am simply advocating what the bible says.
I'm sure every Christian or Muslim knows what is said about pre-marital relations in the bible or qu'ran, so what I am saying in this post should not be offensive or a surprise or news to anyone.

abeg ignore the haters jare

Busy_body:

@ OP

I have been trying to give my life to Christ and because of people like you who are always spouting Bible verses in the Romance section, I have never had any need to visit the Religion section. May God bless you for this and continue to enlarge your territory.


^{Coughing and spluttering} I have an innocent question,  ^{I feel shy when saying this}, but I am a virgin like you too, so you are one of my honourary role model on Nairaland I have noticed though that you think/talk about se.x a lot, meaning it is always on your mind, infact 99.99% of all your posts seems to contain a reference to it (preaching about abstinence, berating and slatting those who are doing it, talking about how you can't wait to do it with your own husband who would God-willing be a virgin too, etc . . .)


Now my query is that is this a pre-requisite of the Christian faith?

Do I have to talk/think about "it" everyday? ^{Keep what mind pure?}


People perish for lack of knowledge so what "educational" books do I need to be reading to prepare and arm myself for my wedding night ?


The devil is a liar so me and my husband must conquer and not be defeated that night, we are overcomers afterall so what spicy por.n racy films do I need to be watching to help me learn the techniques I would need for that night?


I really need to know cos I am scared I would not be able to keep up with you the way you namedrop this "act" and I don't want anything to hinder my relationship and walk with God

Has to be the water in London. Eri, omolomo ti fe sukun

Girl846:

Of course you rule your bedroom - ladylocs you too! I'm not interested in ruling your bedroom! no thanks!
After all, we all have our individual lives to live, but I would also like you to know that 'one day',
you will stand before God Almighty and explain what happened in that bedroom of yours while you were unmarried!
We will be judged for everything we do on this earth, the good and the bad.
All in all, Its up to you to do whatever you want with yourself, afterall I will not bear the consequences of your actions.

abeg jor, its preaching like this that make people even want to have intimacy more. there are better ways to get your beliefs across without acting as if you have been before when God was judging someone or as if premarital intimacy is the only sin that makes people go to hell. am sure you will agree that many people who have had premarital intimacy are in heaven. and no, i have nothing against virgins, good for you if you're one, also good for you if you're not one. i could care less, just that your type piss me off with all these preachings as if "virgins" are the only ones we are going to see in heaven or that its the only quality God requires of us.