Awoo88:

He should allow the woman file for divorce. I perceived the guy is a weakling otherwise the wife and her mum will not have the gut to be demanding for stipends under those stupid conditions. Me, I will be such that when she is tired she will file for divorce because a kobo she will not get and my children will not spend a night outside my house

According to the writeup.

What made you think such woman will attempt to file a divorce herself.

She's obviously not in support of the divorce which prompted her to utter stances about threatening the man's life.

I personally think the op is wealthy and comfortable, and for him to be happy with his life, there are lines that are to be crossed without minding what it'll take financially.

Incase you'v forgotten sir, this is someone's life and happiness we are typing about.

natasha:
Oga when u want advise be honest with the facts
- Yes u met her and u are wealthy
- you are a violent and possesive man....hence u ensured she spent every weekend at urs by providing flight tickets so she wont say theres no money 2 visit.
- you continued ur monitoring when she married u by tailgatting her every move.
- FYI there's nothing wrong with an elective CS. She won't be the 1st or last woman to opt for it.
- She LEFT despite the luxurious life u afforded her because PEACE of mind and her life is more precious than marriage to you thats attached with violent conditions.
-Just because you are no longer mareied doesnt diminished ur parental responsibilities.....You are still responsible for the upkeep of ur children wherever they may be....so her reporting you to agencies 2 remind and enforce ur responsibilities is correct.

But if u want a pity parry, then what you wrote up there is perfect, Sir Lancelot, Prince Charming and Knight in shinning armour

. I can bet my life that if the op contacts you now.... A week is too much.. and you will be in his house.... Planning on how to seduce him ... So that u can end up with him

This is so hilarious. You are a gifted comedian

carlos1:
I will be 69 next month and still unmarried. Fortunately, I have been planning to tie the nuts with my 61year old fiancee on my birthday. But after reading this, i am beginning to get afraid of women because i dont want to be cheated on too. I have decided to cancel my upcoming wedding till atleast next 7 years when i will be celebrating my 76th birthday. All thanks to the OP.

Divorce is the only options here and make sure you conduct a DNA test on those kids because there is high possibility that they might not be yours

I will advise you to just keep quiet change the keys to your house because she should have hers, then watch both mother & daughter, you have to be strong even don't send money for the upkeep. They will soon shout. Another idea is dont come to nairaland go to wise elders they will guide you perfectly.

OP I think the best is to get a lawyer and tell him abt all u sed, he will be in the best position to advise you. Also, draw close to your Man Of God Cs the girl and mayb her folks might decide to carry your name somewhere... Do right now u have to be strengthened in Christ Cs that's the only sure solution to this. Ignore those that are insulting u on this forum, they are badly behaved thus the reason for their public display of foolishness. It is not a bad thing to spend on/for a woman u like. No amount of studying can guarantee a good wife. So nobody should form pro here, if your own is working for you, count yourself favored and don't think because u are too strong, or stingy, or harsh, that's y she's faithful. OP the Lord is your strength!!

Ok

ofegge73:
Yeah! you guys are right. I failed to act decisively at the time. Methinks I never really realised how bad it could get, and I always was on out of station projects within and outside ,but hey I just wanna get my life back.

There comes a time in a man's life when he steps his feet on floor and takes a decision no matter what the consequences of his actions would be, ur time has come, just do the need full, dogs that barks much don't bite, ur wife knows this already,, take action, forget about the threat, besides I need a job sir, just graduated.

Contact this person, my friend: 0703 287 5595
He's a fierce lawyer. That's all. Your interests will be protected.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

Better read up abusive spouses that threaten their partners with extreme violence if they choose to leave then.

The power she has over you isn't really violence but your children.

The best advise is for you to be gentle but firm. Your goal should be for her to gradually loose interest in explpiting and intimidating you and see some benefit in working with you on reasonally terms.

She is a typical bully that wants to eat her cake and have it to. So endeavor to defang the bullying by consciously keeping your cool and not flinch when she's intimidating (Proverbs 15:1)

Gradually, she will come to see subconciously that threats of violence aren't working and will get tired issuing them. Tell her that she is free to keep her boyfriends and lovers.

The real fault at the end is yours. You were not discerning and you deserve six of the best strokes on your bum bum.

Dont make the mistake a 2nd time. That done is already done. You are too smart to have made the mistake the first time. Your cane is however with me in case you try am again.

Acidosis:
Although you didn't mention this; I'm 200% sure your marriage is intertribal.

This is one of those prices you have to pay for refusing to listen to elders in the game because you f00lishly assumed the love you have for each other can overcome everything
It only works on rare occasions: (i) when the parties involved are extremely wealthy; (ii) when either or both parties involved are orphans; (iii) when either or both parties is/are ready to act and live as orphans.

Again, you didn't mention this, but I am 400% sure your parents/relative warned you and told you to watch, but well, you listened to pathetically blind deceivers who told you marriage is between you and your spouse only. You listened to those telling you you're a man, and since you're above 18, you can take all decisions by yourself. Well you took this, but the consequences, you've got to bare alone.

Before you marry any woman, you should be sure you know her father/mother's attitude. You should be sure you can cope with their ways of life. Even if you married an angel, it only takes an emotionally intelligent parent to frustrate your home. You see all these new generational lovers who claim to marry their spouses 2 weeks, 1 week, etc. after DMs? They're not to be followed as role models.

You met a lady and in few months, you told yourself "after all, some people got married two weeks after meeting on tu-wee-ta (twitter)" You don't know where those ones are headed, but still you choose to follow them. There are people who have been married for 20 - 30 years, but we always consider them as "old schools".

You allowed those awwnn and awww from pathetic romance freaks lure you to the pit. Now you're in, and they're everywhere again looking for another shocking tu-wee-ta wedding story to type those awwnn, awww, to decieve some new breeds.

I looked through this crap u wrote n didn't see one piece of advice that d OP needs!!!
No wonder u n the 37 mofos who liked yr comments failed jamb!!!

desreek9:
Oh my lawd! the hypocrisy here stinks to high heavens cos it's the womans fault, nobody bother to say the famous "LETS HEAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY, DONT JUDGE",

why would a mother not live with her husband for 2 years? why would she claim domestic violence and her mother supports her if it isnt true (from his write up he didnt deny that fact)?

this man is fvcking rich, he can bribe policemen, lawyers to vouch for him and paint him WHITE AS SNOW,

agreed she commited adultery, what happen to "forgive and forget, try to bring your family together, pray to God to change her" that all of you use to preach cos obviously she doesnt want divorce?

Someone was even betting the marriage was inter-tribal when it all boils down to personality, smh!!

People here are hypocrites cos i know if it was reversed, every idiot will tell the wife to forgive the husband bla bla bla.

Nonsense

why the rant?

Op, the deed as been done already so I won't blame you for your carelessness. Now, you need to be 10 steps ahead of her, good she lost her Job so it makes the job easier. First, make a report of threat to life with the police using her recorded voice as an evidence, take a DNA to be sure the kids her yours, renounce every claim to her being your next of kin, make a will to your kids alone thereby making sure she gets nothing even if she kills you. Keep records and evidences of past, present and future events, deny her entry to your abode, seek for divorce, be security conscious by first restricting your visit to her place and never announce your visit if need be. Take this steps and let's see if she won't come begging. When she eventually does, you should know what to do then!

baby124:
Sorry to tell you this, but the chance that those children are not yours is very high. I advise you to go and conduct a DNA test on them first of all. Second of all, make sure you document all her threats and report it to the police station. Including the lies told against you by her mother and brother. Ensure that all 3 of them are invited by the police, detained and told to write a signed statement that if any harm should come to you, they will be held responsible. Then go ahead and file for your divorce and run for your life. She cannot stop you from divorcing her in court. If she like, she should not respond. Just make sure you get a good and competent lawyer to help you through the possible criminal side and another good divorce lawyer for the divorce side. Please run for your life and do not take violent threats as a joke.

U have said it all...little is enough for the wise

Stop lying.
Some1with such money n problem won't visit NL first.
Convert ur fiction into a movie or book and go global,not cheap popularity in a sh#thole.

Also carry out a DNA test on the kids. If you find out they aren't after they have finished from university, she will be the one running to serk advise how to escape a murderous ex.

Nairaland is your monopoly. No make she share am with you

Man up and with your money do the needful, women are like that everywhere but tell us where you are from, our mothers are always the problems, sometimes I wonder if they got brains with the kind of advice they give to their daughters and pressures too, rip your husband and bring it home. What is really happening with the woman’s world?

orangb:
Hmm, where are these sets of good guys at while I'm here getting riffraffs?

Well, they are always deceived by the physical attraction of the bad girls and ignore the good ones, so serves them right

So ur a good girl??
Oya PM me!!!

sisisioge:
Hmmm...she just decided not to be married to you anymore? She left home out of blues? Etc.

Well, since the police and other agencies have conducted their investigation and saw you smelling like a rose, then your case is clearcut. Get a lawyer, use their findings against her and get your kids from her. It is that simple...she already helped you made your case.

But if all you've done is to make yourself appear rose smelly when in fact you are not....OYO is your case then.

Sarcasm.

ofegge73:

Didn't quite imagine it would get to this point, really.

may b u wil stil pay for flight ticket for ur next fiance after u must av divorced dis ur wife

desreek9:
The hypocrisy here stinks to high heavens cos it's the womans fault, nobody bother to say the famous "LETS HEAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY, DONT JUDGE",

why would a mother not live with her husband for 2 years? why would she claim domestic violence and her mother supports her if it isnt true (from his write up he didnt deny that fact)?

this man is fvcking rich, he can bribe policemen, lawyers to vouch for him and paint him WHITE AS SNOW,

agreed she commited adultery, what happen to "forgive and forget, try to bring your family together, pray to God to change her" that all of you use to preach cos obviously she doesnt want divorce?

Someone was even betting the marriage was inter-tribal when it all boils down to personality, smh!!

People here are hypocrites cos i know if it was reversed, every idiot will tell the wife to forgive the husband bla bla bla.

Nonsense

If all you said made sense, I would still go with his detail on how the wife's accusation played out at the public defender's office. He showed them his receipts and they verified it from the hospital. So why would your wife attribute your role to a good samaritan unknown to you?

Leave and take hold of your kids or live to regret for the rest of your life

are u sure u are the true father of those children but If u are seek a spiritual advice or I can't link u up with marriage counselor at my church

desreek9:
The hypocrisy here stinks to high heavens cos it's the womans fault, nobody bother to say the famous "LETS HEAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY, DONT JUDGE",

why would a mother not live with her husband for 2 years? why would she claim domestic violence and her mother supports her if it isnt true (from his write up he didnt deny that fact)?

this man is fvcking rich, he can bribe policemen, lawyers to vouch for him and paint him WHITE AS SNOW,

agreed she commited adultery, what happen to "forgive and forget, try to bring your family together, pray to God to change her" that all of you use to preach cos obviously she doesnt want divorce?

Someone was even betting the marriage was inter-tribal when it all boils down to personality, smh!!

People here are hypocrites cos i know if it was reversed, every idiot will tell the wife to forgive the husband bla bla bla.

Nonsense

Look at ur big eyes.. evil bïtch

---

Hmm

I so don't believe this story, I smell bullshyt.

It is well with u sir

hedonistic:
Another 'nice guy' bites the dust. You were dating a so-called Corper serving in Cross River State (who was of course fucking a couple of guys there) and she was visiting you in Lagos every weekend - for which you were paying for flight tickets EVERY WEEKEND (minus other standard mende mende expenses)? ? ? As who or as what? As per say you be Aliko Dangote's treasurer abi wetin? Why do you re.ta.rded nice guy fools spend so much money on worthless idiots? Well, whatever happened to you serves you right.

That said, I should reiterate the Gospel truth: love is a scam. Don't take any girl seriously. Don't think you should go out of your way to do anything or commit to her because you think you love her and vice versa. Don't ever get emotional. They're all mostly scammers. What's there to gain for you as a man? Nothing. Any bitch can give you sex. Any bitch can give you a child (verified by. DNA). But this whole relationship, commitment and marriage thing is too one-sided (in favour of females) and often has NO meaningful benefit to the man. It only comes with unnecessary pain and woes. If you see a pretty face, ass, hips, boobs or whatever else that tickles your lust, just Bleep it and move on. Catching feelings always leads to these kinds of miserable outcomes.

You must be really selfish.

Op your problem started when u married her because she was pregnant!!!.
Buh my advice is dat; u get a divorce immediately nd run a DNA test for those children cos I have a feeling dat they're not yours.

donstan18:


According to the writeup.

What made you think such woman will attempt to file a divorce herself.

She's obviously not in support of the divorce which prompted her to utter stances about threatening the man's life.

I personally think the op is wealthy and comfortable, and for him to be happy with his life, there are lines that are to be crossed without minding what it'll take financially.

Incase you'v forgotten sir, this is someone's life and happiness we are typing about.

The lady is giving conditions and starting what will and will not happen because she knows (or think she knows) the guys response to her. If the guy have asserted himself in past, the story will be different. My wife dare not leave my house without detailed explanations and the notice had to be given in advance. Staying late at work is not even an option. Less alone taking my children to her parents place and demanding for upkeep. The guy is rich from the story and probably have the means to make the woman life a leaving hell. That woman want to eat her cake and have it. It behooves on the guy not to tolerate such nonsense

VULCAN:
This is so hilarious. You are a gifted comedian

Seriously? That dry joke? Hmm!