As soon as my boyfriend realized I was pregnant he tried to convince me to have an abortion. He told me that his father would pull him out of school if he found out. I don't believe in that. Well, his father found out and he was pullled out of school and sent back to Nigeria. I haven't heard from him in about 6 weeks. I have come to realize that in spite of everything he said, he has no intention of ever contacting me again. I have no way to reach him. I think he even changed his email address.
I found out that I'm having TWINS which was such a bittersweet moment because I coudn't even contact him to let him know and he is acting like I don't exist. I am feeling so down when I think of my children having no father. I am upset that he will not even contact me to tell me if he is alive or dead. I want my children to know thier roots, but I am at a loss right now.

Try to locate where his family lives, go there and explain the situation of things to them. I guess they dont have a heart made of stone. The father might be angry with his son but i am sure they will definitely accept it with time. Pls whatever happens, do not attempt to abort the pregnancy.

Thanks. I hope they will be accepting. I am not going to have an abortion. I feel like it would be like trying to correct a wrong with another wrong.

The guy would come back but not now.but would definitely return someday

Smthn isnt ryt with ds 'story'
hw did ur 'father-inlaw get 2knw abt ur condition?
In ds age and time,u allowd a guy get into u witout protection,and then u didnt evn bother to 'clean up' afta d act!
He had 2drop out abi withdrawn frm sch and 'repartriated' bcz he got u pregnant.
Abeg,is thre smthn u hvnt told us,plz do so we kan help u betta.

i just can't fathom how a father would want to ruin his son's future just because he got someone pregnant. could be that he was actually planning to leave with or without the incidence of the pregnancy. the pregnancy just seemed like a plausible reason. hang in there dear, the Lord is your strength.

He is 25 and I'm 26.
He told his uncle about the situation and his uncle told his father.
At least that's what he told me. I don't know what to believe anymore.

I have no way of contacting his mother. The relationship was only two months old and I feel like a fool for being in this mess.

NL haz representatives frm (I thnk its safe to say)every state in 9ja.My suggestion is,give us hs real names and mayb a picture.Its possible a NL myt recognise hm and link u guys up again.
Kai,but babe u eff up 2much!

@ chaircover: I think you are right. That's what is so sad. I never expected my life to end up like this. I guess the only thing to do is to just put him out of my mind as it's probably not good to dwell on the situation now. Maybe if I haven't heard from him by the time the babies get here I will try to look for him. However maybe it will just be better to just forget about him and when the children grow up I can give them his name if they want to look for him.

Nekai:

That's what is so sad. I never expected my life to end up like this. I guess the only thing to do is to just put him out of my mind as it's probably not good to dwell on the situation now. Maybe if I haven't heard from him by the time the babies get here I will try to look for him. However maybe it will just be better to just forget about him and when the children grow up I can give them his name if they want to look for him.

That is crying over spilled milk! "as you lay your bed you lie on it" baby. Did your boyfriend propose marriage? No. Did you both agree on the pregnancy? No. Have you ever met any member of his family? No. You just assumed your boyfriend of only[b] two months[/b] is ready to be a dad? You know what we call people like you? manipulating, conniving, desperate, scheming opportunist! Congratulations on joining the league of single parents!

Kai,ds is unadulterated truth!Its a bitter pill 2 swallow.

@ poster,

are you kidding me? Relationship is only 2 months and you are already pregnant for him?

Wow, that was just too quick.

Anyways, have the babies, and just wait a little longer, he'll certainly come looking for you!

Have you not got any details or address of his siblings?

Wow,

May God Help You.

coolier:

That is crying over spilled milk! "as you lay your bed you lie on it" baby. Did your boyfriend propose marriage? No. Did you both agree on the pregnancy? No. Have you ever met any member of his family? No. You just assumed your boyfriend of only[b] two months[/b] is ready to be a dad? You know what we call people like you? manipulating, conniving, desperate, scheming opportunist! Congratulations on joining the league of single parents!

oya stop vexing you hear?[size=3pt] _{gives her a chilled pure water and watches as she quenches her anger with it}[/size]

most men will take a hike if their girlfriend of only 2 months told then thet she was pregnant

cant argue with this

Jeez . . . how can you get pregnant for a guy you've only known for 2 moths.

My guess is that you were trying to tie him down purposely and he found out and took off. Too bad, your babies are the one to suffer from your foolishness.

I'll advise you to pull yourself together. Cos you are about the become a single mother of TWO!

@Nekai,
What has happened has happened! Pull yourself together, get yourself a job if you don't have one already, seek for help from your relations to help you during this trying period as you carry your babies to full term.
The world is a small place and blood has a way of drawing its own no matter how long or the distance.
Put your all in all in doing the best for your babies and please don't put them up for adoption. You are 26 years, matured enuff to raise them.
One day you will meet with him again. The grace, help and mercy of God be upon you and your bundles of joy, amen.

coolier:

That is crying over spilled milk! "as you lay your bed you lie on it" baby. Did your boyfriend propose marriage? No. Did you both agree on the pregnancy? No. Have you ever met any member of his family? No. You just assumed your boyfriend of only[b] two months[/b] is ready to be a dad? You know what we call people like you? manipulating, conniving, desperate, scheming opportunist! Congratulations on joining the league of single parents!

Na wa oh See the holier than thou Mrs-She-who-is-without-sin

babuji:

@Nekai,
What has happened has happened! Pull yourself together, get yourself a job if you don't have one already, seek for help from your relations to help you during this trying period as you carry your babies to full term.
The world is a small place and blood has a way of drawing its own no matter how long or the distance.
Put your all in all in doing the best for your babies and please don't put them up for adoption. You are 26 years, matured enuff to raise them.
One day you will meet with him again. The grace, help and mercy of God be upon you and your bundles of joy, amen.

Phew, thanks for this breath of fresh air

it is a sad thing though to be in this kind of situation. I believe there are ways you can still get access to him. Do you know any of his friends? Do you have his pictures? Is he on facebook or some other social network sites?
though, he may have run away, the truth is that you must look for more ways to forge ahead with your life. there is no need crying over spilled milk.

some of the replies here are very stupid and highly jugdemental. Things happen in life so just stick to your family. You will get through it and be fine.

the guy told u his parents musnt find out
u got him pulled out of school
so what do u want him to do now??
this exact same thing happened to my cuzin so i see the mans pov 100%
sometime women want the impossible- as much as havin unprotected and premarital sex has its consequences
we women are the ones taht bare them alone, so we should think of that b4 we dive nose first into things that bring us to this situation

o gurl think of how u will make life good for u and the twins urself, any other thing is a bonus

good luck dear inno its not eazy i hope u have ur family arnd supporting u

Busy_body:


Na wa oh See the holier than thou Mrs-She-who-is-without-sin

So what is 'holier than thou' in this context? The fact is she was plain s.t.u.p.i.d, deliberately getting herself pregnant for someone she barely knew in a two months relationship with no prior understanding or agreement! Whatever happened to contraceptives? And you expect me to jump up and give her a standing ovation for a job well done? No way!!!.

girl i can feel ur pains. 2 months too early for such issue to come up. just talk it slow

coolier:

So what is 'holier than thou' in this context? The fact is she was plain s.t.u.p.i.d, deliberately getting herself pregnant for someone she barely knew in a two months relationship with no prior understanding or agreement! Whatever happened to contraceptives? And you expect me to jump up and give her a standing ovation for a job well done? No way!!!.

I know she didn't open this thread to seek a standing ovation or a pat on the back, but to use such strong adjectives on her is just off Talk about kicking someone whilst they are already down.


And yes, it is clear they had discussed what having a baby would do to the guy's education, but she didn't shag herself, nor did she r.ape him, nor did she impregnate herself . . .


A great deal of people meet and marry within one month of meeting each other, it also happens a lot on Nairaland. Personally I wouldn't subscribe to such short courtship but each to their own.

Busy_body:



And yes, it is clear they had discussed what having a baby would do to the guy's education, but she didn't sleep with herself, nor did she r.ape him, nor did she impregnate herself . . .

Why do we blame the men indirectly for our silly mistakes?did he despoil her? how much is condom if she cant go on the pills, whatever happened to the pills sef?

A great deal of people meet and marry within one month of meeting each other, it also happens a lot on Nairaland. Personally I wouldn't subscribe to such short courtship but each to their own. 

Thats marriage sweetie not bf and gf stuff atleast you are very much insured when you get preggie

@Poster

Youve made this bed so enjoy a long sleep on it, two months old relationship you don dey open nyash without protection, oloshi

jennykadry:

Why do we blame the men indirectly for our silly mistakes?did he despoil her? how much is condom if she cant go on the pills, whatever happened to the pills sef?

Thats marriage sweetie not bf and gf stuff atleast you are very much insured when you get preggie

@Poster

Youve made this bed so enjoy a long sleep on it, two months old relationship you don dey open nyash without protection, oloshi

They are both equally culpaple is what i am saying

Nope they are not, this is the reason why we women make mistakes, cos we just cant wait to believe that these men r guilty as well, who goes on d longest break when one party get preggie? who gets the whole insult and disgrace from families, friends and neighbours? Who has to leave school to takia of the child?Who's life has the biggest dent on it right now? who's gonna stop work or do part time to takia of the child? the probability of a woman marrying a single parent is more than a man marrying a single parent.

What if she ended up with STI? if a man tells you to put your hands inside the toilet and flush it ,you will ehn? yes they will suggest diff stuffs but its all left to you to set your priorities right,so dont blame a man for a dumb womans mistakes

jennykadry:

Why do we blame the men indirectly for our silly mistakes?did he despoil her? how much is condom if she cant go on the pills, whatever happened to the pills sef?

Thats marriage sweetie not bf and gf stuff atleast you are very much insured when you get preggie

@Poster

Youve made this bed so enjoy a long sleep on it, two months old relationship you don dey open nyash without protection, oloshi