If you can't laugh at yourself, well, don't worry. I gotcha covered.

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals
such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make
water, a vital ingredient in beer."

The doctor told Fred that if he ran ten kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 30 kgs. At the end of 300 days, Fred phoned the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 3000 kms away from home."

There was a lawyer called Mr John Strange. When he died, this is what they put up for epitaph "Here lies an honest lawyer: and that's Strange"!

There was a lawyer called Mr John Strange. When he died, this is what they put up for epitaph "Here lies an honest lawyer: and that's Strange"!

There was a lawyer called Mr John Strange. When he died, this is what they put up for epitaph "Here lies an honest lawyer: and that's Strange"!

I have a strong will, but my 'won't' is a bit weak!

Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is also rewarding, and faster.

Two left don't make a right, they make a U-turn.

You remind me of my Visa Card, cause you are everywhere I want to be.

You better have a license cause you are driving me crazy.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day. God!!




To Be Continued

Facebook has made people go mad, It makes them talk to their Walls!!

Your Momma is so fat She Climbs on a Weight machine and it screams "One at a time please!!!"

can you imagine the world without women?
we'll be like beating each other, putting tattoes, then checking each asses out,

Please Cancel my Subscription , because I don't need your Daily ISSUES

SILENCE is GOLDEN , but DUCT TAPE is SILVER!

Undertaker to bereaved husband.
When did you 1st notice your wife was dead?
Well he replies, "The sex was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."

Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacatio, (tharr be more)n, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

life is about Ass,licking it .kicking it or trying to get it,

If I'm a pain in your ass, We can just add more lubricants.

Woman in salon -"When you're finished with me will my husband think I'm beautiful?"
Beautician - "Quite possible, does your husband still drink a lot?"

What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

the FBI wants to steal my penis can i hide it inside you??

old ish! LOL

Cool jokes!!