I am worried that I caused my mother to get cancer and die. When I went through a mental health break down, I told my mother in anger and frustration that I want her to get cancer and die. I also told her she won't see my future kids. Also, I bullied a woman who I believed would have bullied me, and I did not like her behaviour - so I told her that her mother would die young, as well as bullying her. Two of my past school mates who bullied me, I sent them a message saying that one will die young, and the other one should be ashamed of herself for how she treated me and that her dead father would be ashamed of her. Also, because I hated Rihanna the popstar at the time - when her grandmother died I tweeted her a horrible message saying "she is dead, she won't have to see your ugly face anymore". Also, a horrible man was harassing me as I did not sleep with him so I told him that it is good that his dad is dead, so he would not have to see his disappointment of a son. But I did apologise to my mother, I truly did not mean what I said. Furthermore, I regret all that bad things I did during the break down - that is not me and no one in real life would believe I could have done such. I did all of that in 2 years that I had a mental health break down and ended in a psychiatric hospital When my mother got cancer, I BEGGED God. I pleaded and repented. I had faith that she would be healed. I BEGGED God, constantly crying, fasting, begging, going to prayer services and so on When I said those mean things to my mother it was out of anger, I did not really want that.. but when I said by faith she will be healed and will not die it was out of truth and what I truly wanted, I BEGGED God. I repented, i fasted, I used anointing oil, I prayed, I went to different churches, we saw a herbalist, we saw doctors , we did everything... yet she still died. I feel like it is my fault. The girl I told her that her mother would die young is alive, healthy and having a great time with her daughter and granddaughter, and her daughter (the girl I told her that her mother would die young) is succeeding a lot and keeps making jokes about illness and death. Like she is trying to rub it in, she always posts images of her and her mother (but she does not know that my mother died) Please don't judge me, just advise me

Stop Killing yourself slowly over this with unnecessary thoughts and useless belief, you're not mentally stable then so u said those things unconsciously. Your mother's death came to pass by God's will not your will or wish.

You don't have any fault here sis, move on.

Don't let religion toy with your mind and brain.

Topestbilly:


Stop Killing yourself slowly over this with unnecessary thoughts and useless belief, you're not mentally stable then so u said those things unconsciously. Your mother's death came to pass by God's will not your will or wish.

You don't have any fault here sis, move on.

how are you so sure?

and how can it be Gods will for someone to suffer and die?

2morogobeta:



how are you so sure?

and how can it be Gods will for someone to suffer and die?

God is aware of whatever happens to any of His creations. What if she runs mad, car accident or went missing. Pls let go and face your life.

Topestbilly:


God is aware of whatever happens to any of His creations. What if she runs mad, car accident or went missing. Pls let go and face your life.

is your mum alive?

2morogobeta:



is your mum alive?

Both of them are no more. U see I'm not far from what u ar going tru.

What have I told you? Do you want proper medical help or not?

Topestbilly:


Both of them are no more. U see I'm not far from what u ar going tru.

what is your story?

how old were your parents when they died and how old were you?

sorry for your loss.

Probz:
What have I told you? Do you want proper medical help or not?

what is your deal?

all you want to do is force me to go to those doctors who will pump me with drugs

im ok

im just bereaved.

2morogobeta:


what is your deal?

all you want to do is force me to go to those doctors who will pump me with drugs

im ok

im just bereaved.

You’re not okay and you’re not just bereaved. Let someone give you proper help that you won’t get on here.

Like it or don’t like it we can all see that you’re very far from okay. That’s a fact whether you admit it or not. Deep down you’ve got enough insight into your illness to recognise that you’re not well. And you won’t fool someone like me so let someone who’s qualified help you instead of making a show of yourself on a Nigerian forum.

A moderator should shut down this thread and all her other ones. I’m not prepared to stand back and watch a mentally ill girl put herself up for exploitation on a dangerous forum.

Where are these silly people who call themselves moderators? Don’t they care about protecting vulnerable people?