FluidQueen:
I can't go through all that stress of requoting.


So, I'll just try to let you understand this.
Women are not beneath men.

Anatomy should never be a yardstick for measuring leadership Qualities in a family.

Both of them Mutually gets involved in a marriage. No one is denouncing anything or submitting to any Dumb authority.
The man is never the higher authority. Except this female chooses and wants him to be. Choice. That's what I believe in.

Women should not be coerced into Changing their name if they don't want to. I wouldn't. I love my name, I love my fathers name and Won't trade it for Anyone's. And I know a good Sum of women that still kept theirs even after getting married. And their men do not oppose.

TheUpsetGirl:
It still baffles me why women have to change their names because of marriage, who introduced this tradition? ,for instance my name is Isabella Peters and I want to get married to Mr Phillips, so after marriage I'm going to change my name to Isabella Phillips or Isabella Peters Phillips??.
This has to stop, I keep wondering why feminists don't include this in their agenda

It’s a choice, you don’t have to. I didn’t , no one ever asked me to. But I have been asked “why” by some people.

TheUpsetGirl1:



Shaka Zulu was a Zulu king who died in 1837

butterflylion:


Unfortunately and fortunately for some it is. There are some with higher intelligence than others but intelligence cannot be traded for strength. Leadership and authority comes in various shades and colours.

Yes it is mutual but in the woman is a naturally existing "weaker vessel" position that even she cannot deny.

Nobody coerces anyone. Surely you do not see an intended couple sitting down and having a discussion that goes thus

Husband: listen woman after we get married you must bear my name

Woman: over my dead body. I love my father too and wish to immortalise his name

Husband: if you refuse to take my name, then the marriage is off

Woman : OK then if that is how you want it then it is off.

Listen madam "fluid" most do it this way. If the womans fathers name is Adelaja and the husbands last name is Abiodun, and her name is Esther she would rather say her name is ESTHER, ADELAJA ABIODUN. This is what most do. Those who do not do this initially eventually do but for sake of their documents or external image would bear their maiden names but outside that, bear their husbands name.

mrdna:
A woman who is bold enough to ask this silky question cannot make a gud wife

FluidQueen:
In Your Words, Strength is the Standard for leadership?
In scenarios where the Wife Possesses more physical strength than the man, She becomes the higher authority?

You see where your logic is flawed?
Strength should never be Yardstick for leading. Except the word family is now synonymous to a wrestling Arena. Then, By all means, Your logic, however screwed and bias it is, is welcomed.

BTW, Horses Posesses more physical strength than men. I think think they're 'higher authorities' than members of your gender.
... Going with your 'wise' logic
Lol.
Weaker vessel. Lol. You amuse me with your level of mental retrogressiveness. It's topping the charts.




Fair enough. Then, this Topic shouldn't even be debatable. Women could do away with their husband's name if they choose to. CASE CLOSED!

the hyphenated name is a welcomed development but not necessarily valid in my case.
AGAIN, I know a lot of married women that do NOT bare the name of their spouse. THEY DON'T.
Digest that fact, first.

butterflylion:


Unfortunately and fortunately for some it is. There are some with higher intelligence than others but intelligence cannot be traded for strength. Leadership and authority comes in various shades and colours

butterflylion:

Does the father sleep with her? No
Does her husband sleep with her? Yes
Does she have kids for her father? No
Does she have kids for her husband? Yes
Can she be naked before he father? No
Can she be naked before her husband? Yes

Gaddafithe2nd:

I will keep on condemning this tradition. I don't know those that brought this idea. Women should keep bearing their father's name. A woman still has right in her father's house, whether married or not. Women aren't slave that you buy off.

butterflylion:


This is what I said which you twisted.



Just in case you did not understand what I just showed you again, I meant, for some intelligence is authority while for some strength is authority. It depends where there is need because it can always be interwoven or interchanged.

Next time do not misquote me.

edicied:

WOW! I Am speechless what kind of illogical reasons are this?

FluidQueen:
The kind that ruptures your brain cells by Just reading it.

butterflylion:


I am perfectly fine. You can elope and do it the Vegas way of course but do note that you would be on your own. This is Africa and even in western countries they do not encourage such. Even there fathers give their daughters away as a ceremonial gesture. You need to stop taking in too much "fluid" it is hampering your mental abilities.



A change of name is not denouncing anything. It's a show of honour and value and respect to your new found authority. Parents expect their kids to honour and respect them so for a father to ceremonially give you away to another man he is saying, do to him what you also do to me. Respect and honour him because he (the father) has accepted him.



Yes the father who took care of you and whose blood flows in your veins yet he refuses to father your child or sleep with you or see you naked but rather would want another to do this at a point in your life. That same father will give you away despite you being his blood or the money he spent on you.



I don't know who skydaddy is but what I know is that submission is in various kinds. But when brought together it becomes complete. The moment he proposed to you and made the gesture of coming to your parents for their approval he has TAKEN THE LEAD and only an authority can do this. Yes he is a higher authority.



It's a natural position which cannot be disputed. Throw a tantrum all you want but it wouldn't change anything.

edicied:

Me my wife would keep her name oh even paying of bride price i dislike the idea it just don't sound comfortable to me i dont know if they would be a way around it

corpershun:


Says a man boy who cannot spell Silly

So many boys on nairaland that are still eating "mummy, thank you ma" and living in daddy's house. Yet feel like they have got experience SMH

XhosaNostra:


It's a cultural practise, she knows she does not have a choice but to observe tradition.

TheUpsetGirl:
It still baffles me why women have to change their names because of marriage, who introduced this tradition? ,for instance my name is Isabella Peters and I want to get married to Mr Phillips, so after marriage I'm going to change my name to Isabella Phillips or Isabella Peters Phillips??.
This has to stop, I keep wondering why feminists don't include this in their agenda

FluidQueen:
In Your Words, Strength is the Standard for leadership?
In scenarios where the Wife Possesses more physical strength than the man, She becomes the higher authority?

You see where your logic is flawed?
Strength should never be Yardstick for leading. Except the word family is now synonymous to a wrestling Arena. Then, By all means, Your logic, however screwed and bias it is, is welcomed.

BTW, Horses Posesses more physical strength than men. I think think they're 'higher authorities' than members of your gender.
... Going with your 'wise' logic
Lol.
Weaker vessel. Lol. You amuse me with your level of mental retrogressiveness. It's topping the charts.




Fair enough. Then, this Topic shouldn't even be debatable. Women could do away with their husband's name if they choose to. CASE CLOSED!

the hyphenated name is a welcomed development but not necessarily valid in my case.
AGAIN, I know a lot of married women that do NOT bare the name of their spouse. THEY DON'T.
Digest that fact, first.

wyzoe:


What's your take on it?

What will happen to a woman who says she doesn't want to comply with that tradition?

bigtt76:
Hmmm why not add both names together ....it will pay you on the long run Isabella Peter-Philips not bad to me sounds like a royal you know? Meanwhile all these feminists crap is getting to me joooor.

We are being enslaved by the feminists any more than they think they're helping us. We should not begin to see the male sex (or anything involving the male sex) as an enemy ....they are not! We should learn to accommodate them and chose what is good for us.

The issue of change in name after marriage is a decision left at the discretion of the couple although during submission of some official documentations, you may have to go at length to prove you two are married. Most times, change of name is the best and concrete proof to that.

corpershun:


Dowry is paid by a woman and done in countries like India

Bride price is paid by the man and done in countries like Nigeria.

Cultural differences.

Besides even when you change your name as a woman you have to carry that news paper cut up and down.
If you bear your maiden name you also carry your marriage cert photocopy up and down so its a two way thing.

I have seen people that didn't change their name and the marriage is waxing strong, I have seen those that did, the marriage is gone and the woman has to go back to change her name, I have seen those that adopt both their maiden and hubby surname.

Let us live and let live...Do what pleases you provide it makes you happy.

P.S Name change is the least of problems in marriage and raising a family-Character, compatibility and love are the most essential.

TheUpsetGirl:
It still baffles me why women have to change their names because of marriage, who introduced this tradition? ,for instance my name is Isabella Peters and I want to get married to Mr Phillips, so after marriage I'm going to change my name to Isabella Phillips or Isabella Peters Phillips??.
This has to stop, I keep wondering why feminists don't include this in their agenda

XhosaNostra:



I have no real opinion on it, because it's just a name that your in-laws ( now "your new parents" or "your 2nd parents" ) give to you, in the same way that your own parents gave you a name when you 1st entered their house/this world. Marriage is seen as a new chapter or new beginning, so the new you needs a new name

Lol, South Africans take their respective cultures very seriously, we don't compromise. Everybody has to follow the customs.

Below is a white woman during the name giving ceremony, just to show that nobody "skips" any of the stages if she wants to marry into our culture. No exceptions or excuses. You will be told, "This is how we do it here". The 2nd picture is that of a Xhosa woman. You can see that they're both dressed the same way because it's required by tradition/culture.

TheUpsetGirl:
It still baffles me why women have to change their names because of marriage, who introduced this tradition? ,for instance my name is Isabella Peters and I want to get married to Mr Phillips, so after marriage I'm going to change my name to Isabella Phillips or Isabella Peters Phillips??.
This has to stop, I keep wondering why feminists don't include this in their agenda

wyzoe:


I presume the women will then have to do a legal name change to address the discrepancies on their documents/certificates etc

FluidQueen:
I do not Give a fúck about those culture. No one should have to conform to cultures that do not align with their conviction.

I do not want to ever trade my Surname for Another's. I love mine just the way it is. That is my OPINION.