XhosaNostra:


No, that's not necessary, this is when it's really up to her if she wants to change it legally or not.

So the name change is symbolic?

Pardon the many questions, I'm just trying to understand.

wyzoe:


So the name change is symbolic?

Pardon the many questions, I'm just trying to understand.

No, it's fine, I get it.


Yes, it's symbolic, it represents a fresh start.

XhosaNostra:


South Africa.

Here's a bit of info.

Alright. How do u feel about the tradition over there? is it being considered as against women's right or its still very much practiced and accepted by the xhosa people?

Preshy561:
this isn't a question you ask on social media,your village people are there to answer you naw

coming from a female I appreciate you jawe.... No mind that confused small girl trying to make sense when there is no sense in what she is actually saying at all

ismail64:
In Islam, it is wrong for a woman to change her maiden name (surname) after marriage with the following reasons.
Your husband cannot be your father.
Both can divorce.
There is difference between husband and father
Surname literally means father's name. Therefore, it is wrong for a wife to use the husband's name as surname.
My wife currently use her maiden name. She wanted to change it to my name but I refused.

I don't know whether anyone has reacted to this your comment before but I have to do that for clarity sake. Surname is never your father's name. Surname is your family's name. That's why your father has his name separated from the family name. The reason most family names are derived from the father side is because a man is a head of the family. Please i have seen an occasion where some families changed their family name. The new name was formed instantly, different from their father's name. Please don't confuse both.

For whatever your religion upholds,,that's your religion it concerns only you.


Coming to the topic. OP How will you add Mrs to your name if you are still answering your parent's surname? Remember that through out your spinsterhood you are referred to as Miss indicating that you are not married yet.

LordHiffy:

Alright. How do u feel about the tradition over there? is it being considered as against women's right or its still very much practiced and accepted by the xhosa people?

No, it's still accepted. Because even if a Xhosa person marries into another culture, she'll have to accept the way they do things "over there". Most of our traditions haven't changed much. I guess we're resistant to change Culture is culture. Most of us believe that if you lose touch with culture, you lose your identity. Hence we still uphold & preserve the ways of our ancestors.

Anyway, this thread is not about that, so I think I'll leave it right there.

DeadRat:
All These Feminists, always Coming To Ask Stupid Question...

This newly founded disease called "feminism" need a serious prayer and fasting.

XhosaNostra:


No, it's still accepted. Because even if a Xhosa person marries into another culture, she'll have to accept the way they do things "over there". Most of our traditions haven't changed much. I guess we're resistant to change Culture is culture. Most of us believe that if you lose touch with culture, you lose your identity. Hence we still uphold & preserve the ways of our ancestors.

Anyway, this thread is not about that, so I think I'll leave it right there.

alright, thanks.

MissRaine69:
Its not mandatory to change names based on which custom you refer to.
I have a double barrelled name ( both parents ) so does my mother. She did not change her name she added my father’s name to hers. The same for both grandmothers. That’s us it’s not common.
Coverture Law is one reason this applies to any English speaking country including former colonies. It’s not practiced in Spanish, French speaking countries or some Asian countries. From an African perspective how else can you be identified if it were not for your name? You leave your father’s home and become part of his family, their wife, daughter and mother so the name is changed too. According to Sinnah it’s prohibited for a Muslim woman to change her name after marriage.

I don’t see a Nigerian man taking his wife’s s surname do you? In this country a name is everything it opens doors or closes them shut.

Please don't misguide people here wish part of Quran or Hadith said that?...don't get it twisted in Islam its no compulsory to change name which means u can keep ur father's name if u wish to

TheUpsetGirl:



that's very demeaning, changing your entire identity because of marriage

then stay in ur father's house.

The question should be why some women do that.I wouldn't be changing my name and I wouldn't even adopt the Mrs title too.Marriage is a beautiful thing,but i don't see how it is much of an achievement that requires title and surname change for females only.

why must everything be coined "feminist"

There are several women who retain their father's name and added their husband name

There are several women who changed their name completely to their husband after marriage

There are several women who retain their maiden name even after marriage.

Reading through comments here, I can see some egoistic men trying to play lords and lords on everything, some even attributed reasons why a woman should change her name to men paying the dowry AS IF PAYING HER DOWRY MEANS BUYING HER FROM HER PARENTS.

Live and let others live, payment of dowry doesn't means the woman will not contribute financially to the marriage especially now that most men are too Lazy but only bossy. so I think change of ones name or not doesn't make anyone a feminist but a matter of like and choice.

NOTE: Most married women from rich family do not change their paternal name but added the husband name and that doesn't make them "FEMINIST"

marunga:
you must stay upset forever. bringing useless topics. Devil's agent

try to have a lighter and happier heart. Don't wish someone sadness for forever.

Kassidy90:

Please don't misguide people here wish part of Quran or Hadith said that?...don't get it twisted in Islam its no compulsory to change name which means u can keep ur father's name if u wish to

I don’t spoute untruths or be selective it’s forbidden take what you want from that.
See below
Surah Ahzaab, ayah 5
You should find what you seek there.

XhosaNostra:


No, it's fine, I get it.


Yes, it's symbolic, it represents a fresh start.

Ok cool.

Thanks

Eagba:
try to have a lighter and happier heart. Don't wish someone sadness for forever.

Join us because we need your help to bring down these bloody agents. No messy for them.

Gucciboss:


I don't know whether anyone has reacted to this your comment before but I have to do that for clarity sake. Surname is never your father's name. Surname is your family's name. That's why your father has his name separated from the family name. The reason most family names are derived from the father side is because a man is a head of the family. Please i have seen an occasion where some families changed their family name. The new name was formed instantly, different from their father's name. Please don't confuse both.

For whatever your religion upholds,,that's your religion it concerns only you.


Coming to the topic. OP How will you add Mrs to your name if you are still answering your parent's surname? Remember that through out your spinsterhood you are referred to as Miss indicating that you are not married yet.

This is why double barrelled names exist.

marunga:
Join us because we need your help to bring down these bloody agents. No messy for them.

if its ways of moving the black race forward, i'll oblige you.

TheUpsetGirl:
It still baffles me why women have to change their names because of marriage, who introduced this tradition? ,for instance my name is Isabella Peters and I want to get married to Mr Phillips, so after marriage I'm going to change my name to Isabella Phillips or Isabella Peters Phillips??.
This has to stop, I keep wondering why feminists don't include this in their agenda

power has changed hands

Lol

MissRaine69:

This is why double barrelled names exist.

FluidQueen:
I do not Give a fúck about those culture. No one should have to conform to cultures that do not align with their conviction.

I do not want to ever trade my Surname for Another's. I love mine just the way it is. That is my OPINION.

nice. It's your fucc king opinion, and your fuc kin life so keep it that way and respect others opinion too. Stop trying to shove it down other folks throat.

MyOpinion1:
why must everything be coined "feminist"

Their are several women who retain their father's name and added their husband name

Their are several women who changed their name completely to their husband after marriage

Their are several women who retain their maiden name even after marriage.

Reading through comments here, I can see some egoistic men trying to play lords and lords on everything, some even attributed reasons why a woman should change her name to men paying the dowry AS IF PAYING HER DOWRY MEANS BUYING HER FROM HER PARENTS.

Live and let others live, payment of dowry doesn't means the woman will not contribute financially to the marriage especially now that most men are too Lazy but only bossy. so I think change of ones name or not doesn't make anyone a feminist but a matter of like and choice.

NOTE: Most married women from rich family do not change their paternal name but added the husband name and that doesn't make them "FEMINIST"

thanks, madam it's a matter of choice. Don't understand what the fuss is all about. It's because of people like this OP that I am against the feminist movement. Let's pray some bitter overzealous women don't hijack it.

Joke Silva uses her maiden name most times and I don't think any issues have been raised about it. So I think it is not compulsory a woman changes her maiden name...

butterflylion:


Stop this nonsense! Why would a woman still bear her fathers name after HER FATHER HAS GIVEN HER AWAY TO ANOTHER MAN?

do you reason at all? She is now joined to another and often times even her father CANNOT overrule what her husband says. She has now submitted herself to a new authority different from her fathers own and if she is wise, she would see the new authority as higher than that of her father and if her father is wise he would respect her new found authority.

Does the father sleep with her? No
Does her husband sleep with her? Yes
Does she have kids for her father? No
Does she have kids for her husband? Yes
Can she be naked before he father? No
Can she be naked before her husband? Yes

And the list goes on.

You need to start thinking instead of just talking.
A woman isn't a slave in her husband's house. She is a PARTNER. A partner who respects and holds high the opinions and words of the major share holder (her husband).

She’s her fathers Child and not her husband’s child .
There’s nothing wrong with a woman keeping her fathers name (there’s no written law that it’s compulsory for her to take up her husbands name ) it’s should be an individual decision .

XhosaNostra:
Lol, that's better, in my culture, they give you a new name altogether. You'll no longer even be "Isabella", you'll be "Lorraine"

They say it's because marriage is a new identity. Whatever you did under your "old name", is now put behind you, including the name itself. You're turning on a new page as a new being, someone's wife. It's always funny watching new brides when they're still coming to terms with their new given names. You'll be calling them & they won't respond because they still haven't gotten used to them.

The new names are usually nice & meaning though.

Now I see why they say that the south African culture is very patriarchal. Does this still happen in this modern day?
How do women cope with document changes and official settings with this name change?

monex:


it is a question of convention and tradition. The law should not force anyone to change names. There is nothing to protest about. There are guys who do not require that their wife (or wives) change their name. Marry them. Previously, the law did not allow women keep their names and that was wrong. Today anyone can do a name change.

What we should protest sef is why the law frustrates men who want to take up their wife's family name.

Hahaha I like your counter attack at the bolded...so that when we marry dangote's daughter guys can change name, some western individuals practise this tho.

This is a western culture and ideology. We Muslims do not change our wives surname to our's. They bear their surname as we are just our wive's husbands and not fathers.

MissRaine69:

I don’t spoute untruths or be selective it’s forbidden take what you want from that.
See below
Surah Ahzaab, ayah 5
You should find what you seek there.

Quran was not talking about the wives in that verse but adopted sons...please read very well probably from verse 1
3. Surah Al-Ahzab (The Confederates)

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful

1. O Prophet (Muhammad )! Keep your duty to Allah, and obey not the disbelievers and the hypocrites (i.e., do not follow their advices). Verily! Allah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise.

2. And follow that which is inspired in you from your Lord. Verily, Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.

3. And put your trust in Allah, and Sufficient is Allah as a Wakil (Trustee, or Disposer of affairs).

4. Allah has not put for any man two hearts inside his body. Neither has He made your wives whom you declare to be like your mothers' backs, your real mothers. [Az-Zihar is the saying of a husband to his wife, "You are to me like the back of my mother" i.e. You are unlawful for me to approach.], nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allah says the truth, and He guides to the (Right) Way.

5. Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allah. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith and Mawalikum (your freed slaves). And there is no sin on you if you make a mistake therein, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

6. The Prophet is closer to the believers than their ownselves, and his wives are their (believers') mothers (as regards respect and marriage). And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah (regarding inheritance) than (the brotherhood of) the believers and the Muhajirun (emigrants from Makkah, etc.), except that you do kindness to those brothers (when the Prophet joined them in brotherhood ties). This has been written in the (Allah's Book of Divine) Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz)."

7. And (remember) when We took from the Prophets their covenant, and from you (O Muhammad ), and from Nuh (Noah), Ibrahim (Abraham), Musa (Moses), and 'Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). We took from them a strong covenant.

8. That He may ask the truthfuls (Allah's Messengers and His Prophets) about their truth (i.e. the conveyance of Allah's Message that which they were charged with). And He has prepared for the disbelievers a painful torment (Hell-fire).

9. O you who believe! Remember Allah's Favour to you, when there came against you hosts, and We sent against them a wind and forces that you saw not [i.e. troops of angels during the battle of Al-Ahzab (the Confederates)]. And Allah is Ever All-Seer of what you do.

10. When they came upon you from above you and from below you, and when the eyes grew wild and the hearts reached to the throats, and you were harbouring doubts about Allah.

MissRaine69:
Its not mandatory to change names based on which custom you refer to.
I have a double barrelled name ( both parents ) so does my mother. She did not change her name she added my father’s name to hers. The same for both grandmothers. That’s us it’s not common.
Coverture Law is one reason this applies to any English speaking country including former colonies. It’s not practiced in Spanish, French speaking countries or some Asian countries. From an African perspective how else can you be identified if it were not for your name? You leave your father’s home and become part of his family, their wife, daughter and mother so the name is changed too. According to Sinnah it’s prohibited for a Muslim woman to change her name after marriage.

I don’t see a Nigerian man taking his wife’s s surname do you? In this country a name is everything it opens doors or closes them shut.

Jeez! I almost tot u meant sinnach I believe u meant to say Sunnah ...like from the hadith's
Seems you wont mind hyphenating your last name to your spouse last name as well, if hee accepts....sorry I meant if I accept

XhosaNostra:


Yes, I know that lol. I think there's a few people in the world who don't know who he was, especially around South Africa & its borders. Because he started the biggest tribal warfare, which saw smaller tribes running into neighbouring countries or starting their own kingdoms eg. Botswana, Lesotho, Swaziland etc.

you mean Swaziland was formerly part of SA?

TheUpsetGirl:


you mean Swaziland was formerly part of SA?

Yes. We still have Swazi people in South Africa. The Swazi people are actually "the original Zulu people ". The Zulu nation as it is known today, is in fact a collection of smaller tribes which were conquered by Shaka's army. Some ran away to the place that is now Swaziland. Even Shaka himself spoke the "Swazi" language according to accounts of people who've met him. I'm not sure how they (Zulus) came to speak the language that they're currently speaking though.

XhosaNostra:


Yes. We still have Swazi people in South Africa. The Swazi people are actually "the original Zulu people ". The Zulu nation as it is known today, is in fact a collection of smaller tribes which were conquered by Shaka's army. Some ran away to the place that is now Swaziland. Even Shaka himself spoke the "Swazi" language according to accounts of people who've met him. I'm not sure how they (Zulus) came to speak the language that they're currently speaking though.

is Zulu not the majority tribe in SA?