Taiwo20:
they both have trust issues.....and people should stop think they can hold people done with court marriage or any type of marriage for that matter..


Concentrate on better thing biko

MrBrownJay1:
the important question IS: why is that so important to your sister?! what more is she hoping to get (thats she isnt getting) from the next marriage?

you could have better helped your sister by telling her to enjoy her marriage instead of poisoning it.

grafixdon:
This's how people put asunder to marriage. They'll begin to put pressure on this man and he'll start thinking there's another motive for the court marriage. Let him be. Court marriage does not guarantee your happiness in the marriage. Your marriage is still very young, don't cause problem in your marriage. Think woman, think.

Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.

MrBrownJay1:


but of course, its not about money (it never is. right?). sadly any man with any bit of money should protect his WEALTH before even thinking of protecting his children, because you know what? a man without money CANNOT protect and/or cater for the wellbeing of his damn children.

btw if that is her state of mind, then she has NO BUSINESS being married.... and should be single for the rest of her damn life. the man already said he aint gonna marry her so she has only 2 options.... divorce or accept his wishes. the choice is all hers.

Chaclaitmilk:


Divorce or accept his wishes only?
No other option?

What about persuasion and discussion?
Nigerian in laws have a way of intruding into other family members marriages and they can persuade the man to chase her out and seize her children.
I don't get why many Nairaland men have a strong anti women mentality.
And by the way it truly isn't about money. Not to brag but our dad worked in SPDC for over 30years and amassed millions of naira and cats and properties for his children. We can all sit down comfortably for the rest of our lives without working, we have enough. And my parents sponsored their wedding because he was still a struggling up coming young man. I can assure you she does not want his money.
He doesn't have a quarter of what she has.

MrBrownJay1:


you see, this above is the reason why so many women are MISERABLE in marriage, and also why so many marriages are failing. they communicate and this guy tells her exactly what he wants, while she says her mind, this man is vehemently (as you wrote) against marrying her in court, yet this woman thinks she can persuade him otherwise. lol! ok good luck, and make sure she doesnt end up dead like the many who played with fire and got burned by some demon they forced into court marriage.

Chaclaitmilk:


Na wa oo

Oga marriage is all about unity and love. there should be compromise in marriage. If she tries to persuade him it's not bad. They are partners, not master and slave.
See you talking of death for this kain thing, it's not that serious biko.
The man isn't a demon, he is very easy going he just needs to convinced in a logical way.

Chaclaitmilk:


I should concentrate on better things? My sisters welfare no be better thing?

Chaclaitmilk:


Divorce or accept his wishes only?
No other option?

What about persuasion and discussion?
Nigerian in laws have a way of intruding into other family members marriages and they can persuade the man to chase her out and seize her children.
I don't get why many Nairaland men have a strong anti women mentality.
And by the way it truly isn't about money. Not to brag but our dad worked in SPDC for over 30years and amassed millions of naira and cats and properties for his children. We can all sit down comfortably for the rest of our lives without working, we have enough. And my parents sponsored their wedding because he was still a struggling up coming young man. I can assure you she does not want his money.
He doesn't have a quarter of what she has.

baby124:
Why is he against court wedding? I don’t think it’s clear why he’s so against it.

MrBrownJay1:


sadly, thats "your" logical way, while it certainly aint his... there is no unity if someone is adamant that they dont want to do something, while the other is plotting to change that man's opinion. what about finding a man who reason and have the same opinion as her?! would that be too difficult? yes there should be compromise in marriage with people who are ready to compromise (not with those who are vehemently against an act). but hey, funny how you think only in one direction about such persuasion.

marriage shouldnt be a do or die affair... if they dont get along on such IMPORTANT matter, then let them part ways now instead of starting on the wrong foot.

bukatyne:
They are already married

Chaclaitmilk:


Na wa oo

Oga marriage is all about unity and love. there should be compromise in marriage. If she tries to persuade him it's not bad. They are partners, not master and slave.
See you talking of death for this kain thing, it's not that serious biko.
The man isn't a demon, he is very easy going he just needs to convinced in a logical way.

sisisioge:
She's his wife by the customary law already. The only thing lacking now is that he's permitted to marry another wife if he pleases. The court marriage forbids that, it even prescribed jail term for him if he tries it.

Let's look on the bright side, God forbid o, if you sis decides to leave him tomorrow, all she needs is to file at a customary court. Within reasonable amount of time and minimal spending, they become history.

No, he cannot throw her out of the house or take her kids from her. She's still covered by law.

Orchid45:
Since she is flush with cash, she could splurge on a family abroad vacation all expenses paid by her. A legal proof of marriage will be required for the visa processing. This might be her best bet.

She should only do that after she is convinced her husband has forgotten about the issue, and she is still desperate for it.

baby124:
Why is he against court wedding? I don’t think it’s clear why he’s so against it.

Chaclaitmilk:


Personally I think he wants to keep his option of getting a second wife open. Am just guessing though since the guy is from a polygamy family.

Halfpenny:
She doesn't trust him not to kick her out, not to take her kids, not to take a second wife.... what is the point of this union?

I wouldn't marry someone that I need to protect myself from so I have no advise other than LEAVE.

baby124:

Did your sister have the discussion of polygamy with him before marriage? Is she ok with polygamy? If she’s not then this is her chance to run away. Divorce after court wedding is more expensive, time consuming and tedious than divorce if traditional marriage or religious rites. If she cannot deal with or agree to a second wife then she should walk away from the sham.

blank:
What Church? If they gave her certificate that has Federal Republic of Nigeria and is very long, that's the same certificate as the court gives. She should take it to the nearest marriage registry and register a copy. The End.

cruchenutii:


Please ma, The End of What?

Chaclaitmilk:
@bold, phew, are you for real? That would be such a relief for her if I tell her. Fear of losing her children is the only reason she is pushing for court marriage.