I will try to make this short......


I am currently in the highest state of confusion, my life is crashing down so fast before my eyes. RomanceLanders please help me think this through, all opinions are welcomed

So my tragedy runs thus;


We are preparing to get married by September this year, I love her and i believe she loves me truly, from when we met, i was convinced about her because she modest and takes care of a home well. my parents and siblings love her, We have been together for almost 7 years. We were apart for almost 3 years from 2015 (the relationship ended majorly because i became suicidal after major depression, I wanted to leave cos i didnt want her to feel so much pain after i took my life. i really wanted to die, it felt more peaceful, so it affected all my life plus the relationship until i bounced back).

After the break up, fast forward to late (last quarter) last year 2017, we reconciled and January we agreed to get married because we had wasted almost 3 years of our lives, in the spirit of reconciliation we revealed everything that could be a secret, to avoid getting rude shocks later, she said she

(1) got pregnant for someone after i , she claimed she became careless after i left because she became depressed to.
(1) slept with a random guy less than a month before we met to reconcile (we had been talking for for like 4 months before we meet)

I FORGAVE HER FOR BOTH



.....Last night on phone, we got talking about the pix we took at her POP last week, she posted it on social media and tongues were wagging already, i had sneaked from work to go to Gombe for her POP.
So my former best friend's girl called her and we switched to him, I have stopped talking to him for some years now, but was still in contact with him (i had known him from childhood, same primary school, same secondary school and resumed university same day. roughly 20yrs).

Started reminding her as usual of how much of a bad person he is, for her to be careful. He called her on her POP, but i ignored it, despite it didnt go well with me. We have always had issues all these years about him, she always thinks i am being too extreme about him, but i always told her that i knew deeply he had always wanted to Bleep her, she always claimed he was just her friend and she could never do such a thing with him. He knew her through me so no history, but even in the last night's conversation, she still tried defending him as usual, so this time i i blew hot, i couldnt tolerate shitt no more......

The heat got intense and i found out the random guy she had sex with recently was the same person i spent all these years warning her about, right from day one, This guy thinks i do not deserve better than him in life, Anywhere we go, i bond with people easily, but his dark side is quickly lurking wherever he goes. so he always tries to paint me black and evil by saying so many lies about me, i will not waste time mentioning the scenarios, but he went extreme, destroyed my friendship with many people, slept with 2 of my GF.

So this lady i am planning a wedding with had travelled to see him in Abuja (family house), which was not the first because i knew about the first visit but i said nothing because we was apart. This his house is less than 20 minutes drive from my house, he took her out and cunningly (he is a master of deception, but i never fall for it) gave her alcohol. She doesn't drink, but i found out she had tasted more than once when we were apart. She got her fill of the brew, he took her home and bleeped the woman i am preparing to wed in September.

NOW I AM DEEPLY CONFUSED....!

I can forgive her because of certain reasons, i used to love her, and i can still try to, not because i cant let go,

but the thought of this sin will never leave my memory till i die (unless God does a miracle), i can guarantee the pain will last a life time, my confusion is; did she want this to happen or why did my warnings fall on deaf ears?

Have they been doing it all along? or why visit him despite i stay so close, even if she had visited my family home, my parents wont let me chase her away if i decided to, so the house was always open to her.

For married people, is it possible i can survive the trauma if i proceed with the marriage? if it was a random guy, its ok, but not my enemy, i can bet my life he will talk about it proudly and mock me behind my back.

Problem is, I love my mum so much i dont want to break her heart, age is catching up with me and she has always been praying for me to find love, so when she saw me with this lady who was the ex she knew, she was super excited, talk more of when i announced we were planning to settle.

Is it fair to sacrifice my happiness for my mother I had ADHD from childhood and she alone understood, i was abused for several years which led to my major depression, she was strong by me. How do i handle this please?

I have had it very rough with women, so the issue of searching again will take me years to trust. I have always been unlucky with women because sometimes i fall stupidly and allow my sense of reason to become clouded. Hardly any woman can be trusted, only 1% are true. I am a gentleman, not like i am trying to toot my horn, but i know i am a gentleman, i have very high respect and regard for all women.


Please NL, help me solve my thoughts that have scrambled like a jigsaw before my eyes. i can overcome the pain with time if i let her go, but will the next woman be any different?

My philosophy; A woman who can sleep with your enemy can kill you in your sleep without remorse.






PLEASE ADVICE ME, I HAVE NOT HAD ANYTHING TO EAT SINCE MONEY, I WAS SO CLUMSY IN THE OFFICE EVERYBODY NOTICED I WAS NOT OK. I FEEL SO SAD, why me aLwayS?

cc farano workstation

Abeeeg, are we having riddle here?

Coz this issue is not really an issue sha... U only have to decide what's best for u.

i wish it was so easy, its a decision that will matter for ever

QueenSuccubus:



Abeeeg, are we having riddle here?

Coz this issue is not really an issue sha... U only have to decide what's best for u.

Are you really asking..?

NairaBusiness, u really want to marry a cheat?

U even said that the incident can never depart ur heart except God does a miracle, that's pure danger u ar walking into, cos u would never trust that ur girl anymore.

Forget the issue of disappointing ur mother or whatever cos ur happiness is more important than how any person would feel about ur actions.

I can't believe someone would find out that the partner is a cheat and still be thinking of going ahead to marry him/her.

Once a cheat, always a cheat!

Run away from that ur cheating fiancée as far as u can, if she doesn't give u heavy heart break in marriage because of her atrocities, she would dash u various degrees of sexually transmitted diseases or deceive u into training other men's kids thinking u ar the biological father.

Sorry you ain't in the highest state of confusion.
This is Nairaland not Kogi State.
You have the answer to your problem. Use your head.

You already have your doubts about the marriage, why then do you want to go ahead with it!
you said it yourself you won't be able to forget. Like you've seen the end from the beginning..... Broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Lastly, what's the rush about? you think age is not on your side or probably there's no better lady out there?

I'm even hurt by what your fiancéé did. It's highly displeasing. If I were you, I'd let go totally. She lacks tact.

About your mum, yes, she wants you settled, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't want you tied down with a woman who would be the death of you. I've walked this road before...you two have come a long way. You want to make excuses and give yourself reasons why you should still proceed with the marriage plans, even though you having nagging concerns. Don't. Just let go and take time to heal. Forever is a long time, you know, and trust me, there's nothing worse than a bad wife!

my heart was paining me while reading this. I once dated a girl that chested on me like 20times.
I fear getting married till date, and guys learn when a girl tries to play down her chances of bleeping a guy, just take it from me, they already bleeping him.

Too bad

OP kindly save yourself and your unborn kids the pain of a home filled with distrust and hate, let her go as you will not be able to forget all that has happened and will always use it in reacting with her

I Dont Have An Epistle to Write.


Dont Marry That Girl

What's with the reasoning of guys nowadays?

Disaster is staring right at you. And we wonder why people complain after marriages.

Don't marry that girl. Move on and look for someone better. Period.

UDUJ:
What's with the reasoning of guys nowadays?

Disaster is staring right at you. And we wonder why people complain after marriages.

Don't marry that girl. Move on and look for someone better. Period.

Let him marry her Biko ..
See question he asked like really ... he ain’t even ready for relationship if he doesn’t know what to do ..

Erm is that u @dp?

Lalas247:

Let him marry her Biko ..
See question he asked like really ... he ain’t even ready for relationship if he doesn’t know what to do ..

Erm is that u @dp?

Morning Lalas. Yeah that's me

UDUJ:


Morning Lalas. Yeah that's me

Good looking Guy

Morning!

Lalas247:

Good looking Guy

Morning!

Thanks dear

poor you foolish lover boy

CAPSLOCKED:




A COMPLETE FAILURE IS VERY EASY TO SPOT.
FROM THE BEGINNING OF THIS STORY I ALREADY FIGURED HOW IT'LL END.

THIS MAN WON'T TAKE ANY ADVICE.. OR LEARN ANY LESSONS FROM THE PREVIOUS & MOST RECENT EVENTS..

SO WE JUST HAND HIM OVER TO THE BEST TEACHER; EXPERIENCE.

True talk bro. Some guys are already lost and not worth throwing a search party for

I suggest you let her go if you really think the pain and the memory of what she did will always be with you...

There are few trustworthy ladies out there, find yourself one! One Youruba adage says "B'esin ba da ni a ma tun gun ni"


Good luck bro!

There is already distrust and pain in ur heart. If u marry her it will be a disaster. There are other good girls around...forget about her man.

We give you the wide selection of the top hookup websites which are not only trustworthy but also very effective. More importantly, in contrast to the very dating sites, you are not bound to pay anything for our help https://hookupguru.com/.

You need to ask yourself

Can I bear it if my wife sees this guy once a while and fvck him?

Can I live peacefully with her even though some of the children she bore for me belong to this guy?

Because that's exactly what's going to happen.

If you can answer yes to both questions then maybe you should go ahead.

It's been proven that you are suicidal. Don't go and marry a woman that will make you commit suicide in future.

There are millions and millions of girls out there.

Your mom will want her son single but alive than married and dead.

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