Ok, imagine this situation. You are in love with this person, but you know that there are lots of sexually transmitted or other diseases around, and you know it is the right thing to make sure that you are not going to have any complications later on, that if you planned to end up with the person. Ok, the best thing to do is to go for testing.

So you both go for that and then you find out that you are both not compatible, because if you get married maybe there would be some stuff wrong with the child or other complication. Should you break off and call off the relationship? Do you think that you should even go for the testing? And when do you think is the right time to do that?

Ok, maybe not sexually transmitted dieases but hereditary ones (because I know that making a decision concerning a sexually transmitted disease would not be all that difficult). Your opinions?

Hereditary diseases are diseases that are genetically transmitted, i.e. from one generation to the other. The most prominent and common, at least in Africa, of these diseases would be the sickle cell anaemia disease and I think I'm right in assuming that this is what you're talking about Chigszy?

To avoid birthing a sickler (as we call them in Nigeria), it means that a couple must ensure that they both are not carriers of the Sickle Cell blood type. For example it is not advisable for a guy whose blood group is AS to get married to another AS. Their chances of having a child who is a sickler are really very high 1:3. In some cases in fact all the kids are Sickle cell anaemia disease carriers. I had a cousin who was a sickler, lost him barely 2 years ago; I have a very close friend who is also a sickler (he is married with a child now, thank God). I also have a niece who is also an SS. It is not the best of experiences for both the parents and the child concerned. Some are luckier than some but for the majority who are visited by constant attacks, it is really very gutting. My heart (I don’t say that lightly at all) goes out always to people in this condition by absolutely no fault of theirs.

As advisable as it is to be sure that your partner while courting is not AS (if you yourself are AS) how do you ask this question of a guy in your first few dates without appearing too pushy? Be that as it may, should this be discovered at the latter stage of your relationship, while preparing for marriage, what do you do? Call it quits? There's no straight forward answer really. If anyone finds themselves in such a situation, as harrowing as it might be, the decision remains totally with the couple in question. To be on the safest side however, it is advisable that someone who is AS as I am, marries a guy who is AA.

Having said that, whatever anyone decides to do in this situation, I strongly believe that their faith shall surely make them whole.

About sexually transmitted diseases (STD), well, there's only one way to go isn't there, out! More so if the STD was brought about by the victim's promiscuity.

Well all i have to say is better be safe than sorry. When you are dating a lady or guy (whichever implies), thats is normal dating which probably is due to plain attraction or maybe crush etc, and does not really have anything to do with anything like future proposals to marriage , testings is really uncalled for, i would say just play safe. Even if you happen to be promiscuous, so to speak, make sure you protect yourself. Forget that he or she may also be protecting himself or herself.

Now the moment he or she proposes, which is the later most of the time as in the guy proposing, Drag him for a test before you even think about saying a Yes, Not only test for sickle cell Anaemia, you can do various test for STDS, HIV, and even Fertility and maybe sperm counts for men, if you are thinking of having babies (some are not . You might think its way too outrageous to ask for such tests. But frankly you would be glad you did.

You wouldn't want to be married, and then start regretting and blaming yourself for every single occurrences that comes into existence later on. If you want a happy married life, please do the test, before even saying yes.

As regards hereditary diseases, I think Ra has beautifully analysed everything.

Some churches now has made it complusory for intending couples to do medical tests prior to their being joined together. These tests includes Sickle Cell Anaemia, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases. And these they must do at any of the church's specified medical centres. This is because the church wants to avoid joining two AS together, as analysed by Ra. And if the couple insists after being educated as to their situation, then they can be joined together at their own risks. At least, they have been informed.

As regarded HIV, definitely, there will be no joining. It is too risky to do that.

Personally, I won't advise an AS to get married to another AS. This is because the chance of their having sickler children is quite high. It is not a light thing to have a sickler in the family. It will drain the joy and finances of such families concerned. And at the end, the sickler may still die.

When a man and a woman are in a relationship that is tending to marriage, it is better for both of them to go for tests as soon as the issue of marriage comes up. This will enable them to use their commonsense where the results of the tests proved unfavourable, before their emotions take control if they delay the tests.

whereas hereditary diseases have been clearly spelt out, here's my piece on what i think.
One important issue that intending couples who are both AS have to consider is the psychological and emotional effect of the disease on their children. The agony that SS children go through is one that no one will like to cope with and that is why intending couples are not to let emotions or sentiments make them ignore the importance of genotype grouping. Many SS children have known to grow up hating their parents for having caused them this pain and constant hospitalization. Also, many people avoid marrying those that have SS irrespective of their blood genotype cos of their vulnerability.


However, I feel, when two people with AS genotype decide to marry, both must be convinced that GOD approves of their relationship and both MUST have FAITH. If there is any fear about the possibility of having SS children, then DO NOT go into the marriage because it will take a miracle to have only AA or AS children and without faith you cannot get your miracle.
Futhermore, there should be parental and also pastoral consent cos the support they would give cannot be overemphasised.

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned birth control as an option. (perhaps we see marriage primarily as a way to get children). If two sickle cell carriers decide to get married then maybe they should just make up their minds to adopt. The "love, love, love" that is there today and gone tommorrow is probably not worth the potential pain

Dear Seun, erm ... I think it's time you gave me your number. We seem to have a lot to discuss about relationship, marriage and the things that go on behind closed doors ... Your thoughts about these things are refreshingly innocent, bless you.

Still on hereditary diseases and marriage, the other day, I heard the president of the sickle cell association of Nigeria say over the radio that for every 4 Nigerians, 1 has the sickle cell triat. At this rate , future generations would have this sickle cell trait and eventually sufferers I.e  if nothing is done about this. One thing we can do is to know our genotypes and the genotype of whomever we intend to marry, so that this catastrophe will not befall our Children and Children's children.

well its ok for u all to talk but i think we should talk about issues we are really familiar with
i have an aunt in abuja who happens to be the oldest leaving sickler in her fifties how did she get these lucky u'll say well i think its the grace GOD gave to her.


my elder sister who is in her thirties is also a sickler and how did they go about it b4 marriage,u know its best to be friends b4 u start thinking of moving to the next level,as u become friends u are usually free to ask whatever questions u chose to that way u get to know the other parties genotype and then its left for u to either go ahead trusting that GOD will do a miracle only if u have FAITH if not don't even think about it cos u'll only bring children into the world to suffer not enjoy life and die like so many of my sisters sickler friends did its not wise to gamble with ones health and future

God is the creator of all things. He is aware of the existence of sickle cell anemia and other hereditary diseases. Let us not put God to test and claim we have faith. A man and a woman courting knows when the courtship is smelling of marriage and they should go for medical check up to know if any of them has any form of hereditary disease.

If 'yes', then the curable ones should be taken care of before marriage but the risky one like sickle cell, per adventure two of them as AS, the only solution to it is to surrender.

The love they profess will fail to cover them when the pain arrives. Parents would not be comfortable again because they will always be in the hospital taking care the hospitalized child(ren), in addition to expenses. The child(ren) will regret being born into the world because of the pain sickle cell forces them to pass through.

Or what do you say?

what an issue?
Sickle cell anaemia is the one that i am going to talk about here because it touches me personally. and I have done plenty of reading about it.
1) SS is a genotype not a blood group.
2) the others are AA ,AS, (AC & SC) while AA is free of this blood deficiency AS & ACare carriers of the genetic (trait)deficiency while SS & SC are sufferers of the disease.
Sickle cell disease is geographically located,it is found along the malaria belts of west africa, north africa & a small part of asia. some scienctist say that it is a natural mutation of the blood to combat malaria as carriers of the sickle cell trait (AS) have more immunity to malaria. I visited a south african health web site www.health24.com and to my surprise the gonecologist whose profile says that she has over 10 years genecology expirence does not know what AS genotype is, she asked me to explain AS that they dont have it in south africa.
All available statistics on the ratio of sickler from the marriage between couples who are carriers (AS) are just permutations. I have talked to a 40 year old sickler who is the seventh of eight children & the only sickler. I have met a lady who has four children that are AA even when the lady & her husband are (AS) carriers of the trait. I have a neigbour with 3 son of which 2 are sicklers. I have heard of a couple whose four children are all sicklers.so lets not use statistics either for or against couples with AS marrying.
If we say that it is a disease, what is the medical remedy or cure?. for now there is non mainly because it does not affect the whites even when they come to these geographic zones. but it can be managed - how we perceive and react to sicklers in this parts should be changed we should first of know that it is not the sicklers fault if a sickler says he is tired we should accept it as a fact rather than looking down at them as lazy people which leads some of them to suicidal efforts even when they are really bone tired. then parents of sicklers should as much as possible treat them like their normal children but they should also make them aware of their condition which may require special attention being given to them like taking special drugs and food from time to time, the sickler i met says that she has not had a crisis in the last 25 years because of her family's love, her medication&attention to her body needs if she is felling weak or tired she take time off to really rest and feeding. parents should show them love & should try as much as possible not to show this sicklers that they are a burden to their parents. because some of the things some parent have said to ther sickling children in anger & frustration are unbelieveable are etched deeply in the minds of this sicklers.the 40 year old sicklerIi mentioned earlier is a cousellor and some of the thing she told me that some sicklers undergo in the hands of their family is harrowing.
Placing sickling babies on 125mg of pennicilin per day for the first 5 years of their lives helps to build their immunity & reduces the frequency of their crisis.
Why am I so interested? you may want to know,Ii am a carrier (I have AS genotype) and recently when I wanted to move from a short dating period to courtship I found out that the special lady is also a carrier of the trait. the knowledgde is gut twisting.it took a while though to even become rational again and she has still not gotten over the shock we are still consoling each other.(to nip any unnecessary controversy there is a world of difference between dating & courting, dating is when you are going out as friends, geting to know each other while courtship is when the two of you have decided to get married, here both of you can now tell your folk that this is the person I want to marry)
If not for the fact that we are both catholics we would have gone ahead with the marriage plans because there is what is called aminocethensis by which couple can detect the genotype of the baby or fetus in the first 2 weeks of its life to decide wether to have the baby or to abort it.

slowpoison, did you breakup with your girlfriend over this? I have a similar problem i am AC and my boy friend is AS. We are at a point where we want to get married but am confused. My boy friend says its up to me its my decision to make. Can u guys give some advise on SC.

I think you should discuss the implications of your marriage with a doctor. AC*AS mating might be ok.

Are you willing to try artificial insemination or adoption? That way, you can still get married to Mr Right.

I think it is often easier to discuss these matters objectively when you are not a concerned party. Truth is, until you wear the shoe, you will NEVER understand just how it pinches. , I mean the shoe as in either be a carrier of such a condition or the parent of the child born with the condition.
All I can say here is what I might do in this situation…knowing myself , I will not want to risk having a child with this condition…I’ve never been much of a gambler. If the relationship has gone so far as to be discussing marriage, then we would have to explore our options and adoption would be my first choice….as I don’t think I’d want to leave “Mr. Right” it's hard enough to meet him! …what if I did and down the road I met “Mr. I go manage am” and we found I was incapable of having kids? Or that we had and the child had some other inherited condition previously undetected? Story go come get Y-leg,

Better be safe than sorry like someone has said or would you prefer medicine after death. You both know after marriage there are yet alot of issues to settle why not save yourself when you truly can, blood group is just too important, this you must know before marriage. Although its not certain that when 2 AS hook up it would automatically become SS, even though its not worth risking. Nigeria as a nation is not used to adoption or insemination and i sure know its way too easier said than done.

Hereditary Diseases does not have to be sickle cell only, there are quite alot of diseases that hereditary. did i hear you say Asthma can not be hereditary?

Asthma is hereditary!! please

it pitifuly too. imagine you on a date and your girl go freezing in public or in during an exam or even during sex
read more https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-15925.0.html

any ways

I guess if you think about the hereditary dieases has a gauge you'll become to choosy for your own good.

Asthma is hereditory as are many others even more serious and debilitating, cystic fibrosis
Adoption or insemination might not be wide spread in Nigeria(I wouldn't say they are in Europe either or America, just that people are more open about them), but they are options, just not advertised by those using them, and I assure you it isn't an easy decision by those who decide to go down that route.
What about the conditions whereby a pairing is not needed, should you stay away from say someone whose family has a history of , say asthma for eg , (or substitute your own e.g) because you don't want to have asthmatic kids?
All I'm saying is , you can't change your genetic makeup, so don't limit your options to only one-coupling with someone who is perfect(as far as you can see/detect)

AS+ AC is just as bad as AS+AS.

AS+AS is the devil's work and must never happen, EVER no matter what your pastor says.

dont do it or you are a murderous creature who does not deserve to be called human.

Darkman what an analysis!