Aniekan Umana
25 years ago, my colleagues and I decided to embark on a research. Before I tell you about the research, I'll tell you a story from my life. I was born in 1955, to struggling parents. My father was a farmer and my mother a trader. I had 3 siblings, all sisters.

Naturally, our mum was always around so, she quickly became my favorite. Like most fathers, mine was distant and strict but he always took care of his family. He always came back home every night, and that made my mother happy but I didn't seem to care because I couldn't communicate with him. Time passed and my siblings and I went to boarding secondary school, we spent less time at home and only saw our parents during the holidays. Well, my mother than my father and that didn't seem to bother me. I finished school and got a scholarship to study in one of the Ivy League universities in the US. On the day I left, lockets were quite popular, so we exchanged lockets. Both had a picture of my mum and siblings, a picture he took the day before I left for the boarding house. I didn't take a second look at his, I collected it and gave him and the rest of the family a hug before I boarded the plane.

I went on to study psychology and got to understand human relationships and see the role of father and mother in a different light. Slowly, I began to have a rethink about my perception of my father and interpreting his distance as him being loveless. I took another look at the locket and saw that my mother looked truly happy, I then saw the inscription behind it "For them".

As simple as the words were, it brought everything into focus. My father's farming expanded when we were children, and he had more customers to supply and the hours he put in got longer. My mum kept her trading business alive because she wasn't the type to stay idle and wanted to be able to have money of hers to give my siblings and me whenever we asked.My dad, on the other hand, was the one who contributed majorly to the running of the household and payment of our fees.

I wasn't unaware of this but didn't appreciate it enough just because he couldn't spend more time at home. After my Ph.D., I came back home, my parents were already old but were happy they had time to spend with each other. I was ready to start a family of my own, I had a loving and supportive wife I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with & by the time my first son came, I realized I knew nothing about being a father. I did try to connect with my son over the years, there were highs & lows

I decided to pay my parents a visit, during that time I got to spend more time and talk with my father. I asked him why he never spent more time at home, he explained to me that he was busy building the best life for us and had come to realize that being a father sometimes could be a thankless job. He didn't mind though, he was certain of the woman he married and how he knew their children would turn out alright. He said he expressed his love through his provision, discipline, and support. That was the only way he knew how to.


A few months later, his health deteriorated and a few days before he died, he called me to his room alone and he said the reason his business expanded was the locket I gave to him, he felt appreciated and had found the zeal to work more and after our conversation he gave me two lockets and one said "World's Best Father" while the other said "World's Best Son". I cried immediately I saw the inscriptions because I understood what it means to be a father at the very moment.

My research was centered on why men are more likely to die before females of the same age group and I discovered that Mothers are more appreciated and it is a proven fact that gratitude affects the longevity of the life of humans, positively.We also discovered that fathers live longer when they get ACCOLADES. If you have a father, father figure or a single mother or anyone that has shown you the kind of love a father could, please send them something apart from "Happy Father's day", you might be saving a life by putting a smile of a face.

There is a link you can get the best gifts for fathers in Nigeria, it is pretty cheap and I'm impressed with the work they are doing. As a wife, appreciating your husband will increase the love and harmony in your marriage.

Here is a link to the best father's day gifts:https://www.emall.ng/products?id=25&category=Gifts&cat=70&subcategory=Gifts%20for%20Fathers …

Put a smile on that man's face this June

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