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Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" - Romance - Nairaland

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Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 8:43pm On May 30, 2010
Okay, so am back after fasting 40 days and 40 night on Mount Sinai. It is there that the Lord directed me to help fellow nairalanders who may be having relationship problems here.

So the rules are simple. Keep your problems/quesitons short and keep it clear. I will post an answer once I get back.

grin

The almighty Jah revealed many things to me, and am here to share them with you. Just tell me una problems and I will use my experience and knowledge to help. Praise be to allah. grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by edoyad(m): 8:49pm On May 30, 2010
Prophet, i tried looking you up at the religious section but didn't meet you there last month, welcome back home. Good prophet, it's my wife Celestina, i just don't know what to do because the problem is getting worse. You told me to leave her last time but you know i just can't do that.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 8:53pm On May 30, 2010
edoyad:

Prophet, i tried looking you up at the religious section but didn't meet you there last month, welcome back home. Good prophet, it's my wife Celestina, i just don't know what to do because the problem is getting worse. You told me to leave her last time but you know i just can't do that.

You are welcome my brethren in christ, son of allah.

First of all, God must have foreseen and shown me in advance that she aint no good for you, hence why I recommended that you move on. If you want to be stubborn like an Obuko goat and no heed the words of the follower of the holy one - me. Then you will have issues.

The only reason you cannot leave her is because you are spritually enslaved to her punnaanii. Have you considered fasting and staying off her poonaannii for seven days? Do this and all shall be revealed to you.

Peace be upon you my brother.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 8:55pm On May 30, 2010
Dnt you ever get tired of seeking attention in this sec?

Baba Sango, help yourself first grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 8:58pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

Dnt you ever get tired of seeking attention in this sec?

Baba Sango, help yourself first grin

Same thing was said about the holy one when he came to rid this world of its sin.

**looks up to the sky**

Oluaye, oba orun, please forgive her because she do not know what she is doing.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 8:59pm On May 30, 2010
rotflmao!
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by madlady(f): 9:19pm On May 30, 2010
.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 9:23pm On May 30, 2010
madlady:

cool cool cool

I have this so-called guy "friend" undecided who likes to castigate and deride me, he only does it in private but, I hate it. angry angry grin grin

Should I forget about him and stick to my kind and considerate friends or put up with his taunts ?

***I'm out of hear for now****

The bible talk am say an eye for an eye. The is what my bible says as the other bits are missing. grin

Also my Quran states that you should be violent towards any basattard who tries to take you for Mugu.

Please stick it back to the person. It is the only way them go understand.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by 190: 9:25pm On May 30, 2010
poster
how can i catch a cheatin gurlfriend

2nd question
how can i tame a sturborn girlfriend (dont tell me to f~ck her well)
how
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by madlady(f): 9:29pm On May 30, 2010
.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 9:36pm On May 30, 2010
190:

poster
how can i catch a cheatin gurlfriend

2nd question
how can i tame a sturborn girlfriend (dont tell me to f~ck her well)
how

Well, you can always pay someone to follow her around. You fit buy am a BB and demand to know where she is all the time. I think e go better make you put "mugun" and "amudo" for her body. Both na voodoo. The first one will make sure any man we climb on top of her die instantly, but you are immune to this off course. The second one go make sure say any man we get close to her, their manhood no go stand up at all rara. I will recommend you do both.

It alright to flog women in africa, and as such I go advice you to buy koboko and beat am well well. Show am who be master. After all, the bible talk say "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Go in peace my brethren.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 9:47pm On May 30, 2010
ElRazur:

It alright to flog women in africa, and as such I go advice you to buy koboko and beat am well well. Show am who be master. After all, the bible talk say "Spare the rod and spoil the child".
Are you crazy?
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 9:53pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

Are you crazy?

Are you the girlfriend in question? grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 9:54pm On May 30, 2010
God forbid awful thing. . . . but seriously, are you ok?
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 9:55pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

God forbid awful thing. . . . but seriously, are you ok?

You are like madam Tpia. She is yet to learn not to take me serious.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Kunbee: 9:57pm On May 30, 2010
*subscribing*
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 10:03pm On May 30, 2010
ElRazur:

You are like madam Tpia. She is yet to learn not to take me serious.
Yo mehn, you cant be telling those kinda things to 190. Why? Cuz he will actually do it.

Kunbee:

*subscribing*
ki lo n subscribe fun? my friend, lo se homework e.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 10:09pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

Yo mehn, you cant be telling those kinda things to 190. Why? Cuz he will actually do it.


I will be happy to read his "had I known" thread here. Let him. grin Oya no derail my thread again. Post your problems or let others do. grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Kunbee: 10:12pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

ki lo n subscribe fun? my friend, lo se homework e.

If you talk to melike that again, obo e a wa stranded grin angry angry angry angry
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by violent(m): 10:15pm On May 30, 2010
,
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 10:16pm On May 30, 2010
Kunbee:

If you talk to melike that again, obo e a wa stranded grin angry angry angry angry
se o ko gbo nkan ti aburo e, El Razur, so ni? O ni ko maa derail tiredi e.
lol kini wa se? grin


ElRazur:

I will be happy to read his "had I known" thread here. Let him. grin Oya no derail my thread again. Post your problems or let others do. grin
lol ok, you're crazy. confirmed
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 10:16pm On May 30, 2010
violent:

Dear Uncle ElRazor,

I have this fúcking-drop dead-gorgeous neighbor who stays with her fiancé at the moment. . . .how do you suppose i could politely approach the duo for a thréesome without being seen as the next worst thing after hurricane katrina?

I'd appreciate your quick and "witty" response to this matter.

Kind regards.

Violent cool
shocked angry
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by violent(m): 10:22pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

shocked angry
cheesy
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 10:23pm On May 30, 2010
violent:

Dear Uncle ElRazor,

I have this fúcking-drop dead-gorgeous neighbor who stays with her fiancé at the moment. . . .how do you suppose i could politely approach the duo  for a thréesome without being seen as the next worst thing after hurricane katrina?

I'd appreciate your quick and "witty" response to this matter.

Kind regards.

Violent cool

Dear Violent,

See as you take like am, na so the fiance go take like am. If you don meet them down the local sexxxxx shop, chances are them go wan menage-a-trois too, but whether it will be with you nah another question.

I suggest you confront them both and ask them. There is something called freedoom of speech and you are exercising just that.

Goodluck.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Kunbee: 10:28pm On May 30, 2010
FL Gators:

se o ko gbo nkan ti aburo e, El Razur, so ni? O ni ko maa derail tiredi e.
lol kini wa se? grin

Na u dey derail thread na angry angry angry angry

I go remove dat fin between ya legs oo angry angry angry angry angry o ma wa stranded cheesy
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by hatch: 3:42am On May 31, 2010
I luv it when Elrazor tries to feel important or funny.
There is absolutely nothing he wouldn't do from releasing wanna be mixtapes on the music section or
Even trying to be a boring mock comic giving advice.
Any way I feel you jare,thank God for NL if not some people
Would be as irrelevant as Turai Yaradua right now.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ThoniaSlim(f): 3:51am On May 31, 2010
This has got to be a joke.
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by hatch: 3:57am On May 31, 2010
Honey I can tell you for sure that Elrazor will certainly be make on helluva boring standup comedian if he decides to start this way,
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by Nobody: 6:01am On May 31, 2010
ElRazur:

Okay, so am back after fasting 40 days and 40 night on Mount Sinai. It is there that the Lord directed me to help fellow nairalanders who may be having relationship problems here.

So the rules are simple. Keep your problems/quesitons short and keep it clear. I will post an answer once I get back.

grin

The almighty Jah revealed many things to me, and am here to share them with you. Just tell me una problems and I will use my experience and knowledge to help. Praise be to allah. grin

grin grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 7:46am On May 31, 2010
Lord father. Forgive me as I shiiitt on this knuckle head, who does nothing but seem to have a pattern of looking for trouble. Oya the spirit of Allah empower me.

hatch#:

I luv it when Elrazor tries to feel important or funny.

I love it when a few heads claim you aint funny when most actually think otherwise. As to whether I feel important no be my wahala. Nah yours. Sorry, I can't help with how you feel sir. [But I fit make am worse] grin


There is absolutely nothing he wouldn't do from releasing wanna be mixtapes on the music section or
Even trying to be a boring mock comic giving advice.
Any way I feel you jare,thank God for NL if not some people
Would be as irrelevant as Turai Yaradua right now.

Mr Mumuni, I think you will find those are two things. Each one getting more post and participation than your little mind can process. I presented an idea on mixtape and how many people participated? Even dickkkheads like you listened to songs posted from people, yet you turn around and have a go at me? In this words of Dr Dre - "I started this beat, mixtape and making music on nairaland trend [or at least bring it back] and this is the mother fuckkking thanks I get?"

Muppets like you and those who shall remain nameless are forever making a post count by having something to say about what I do and post on a forum, and you think I aint important?  grin Ah haaaa. The joke is on you.

I was gonna get upset, but the almighty Jah-Allah told me that "Losers like you will forever hate winners" Oya hate me some more. I am laughing at your pain. grin

hatch#:

Honey I can tell you for sure that Elrazor will certainly be make on helluva boring standup comedian if he decides to start this way,

Eldee warned me about muppets like you, so yeah. I will keep doing what am doing and still laugh at your pain. grin grin

By the way, the holy-spirit-of-Obatala is telling me that you have issues, just feel free to let me know. I will do one or two sacrifice for you.

PS
Apologies to those who may not know what is going on. This guy nah one of those people who are forever having something to say just because I post. He is a textbook definition of "hater".  grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by ElRazur: 7:48am On May 31, 2010
ThoniaSlim:

This has got to be a joke.

No, this is life. There are hidden messages in here. You just have to get off your high horse to see 'em. grin
Re: Ask Uncle ElRazur For Solutions And Advice To Your "Romance Problems" by justjane2(f): 7:54am On May 31, 2010
Hmmm cool lipsrsealed

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