My friend wedding has just been called off by her lover of almost two years in London. Its a shock and she is blogging about it. Its sad. too sad everyone was preparing check her blog

http://tellitasitis9ja..com/2010/06/my-heart-is-broken.html

really pathetic, but as I always say, it is better to have many broken relationships than to have a broken marriage

Shanice111:

My friend wedding has just been called off by her lover of almost two years in London. Its a shock and she is blogging about it. Its sad. too sad everyone was preparing check her blog

http://tellitasitis9ja..com/2010/06/my-heart-is-broken.html

Hmmmm enthralling read.

Poster,

Sorry, but will you marry me.

Tell your freind not to worry . . Karma's on her side this time!

Ujujoan:

Tell your freind not to worry . . Karma's on her side this time!

how? so because the marriage was called off its now the guy's fault? What if the woman herself is the reason the wedding is not going ahead?

let her move on i know it hurts but its not worth dieing for

debest1:

how? so because the marriage was called off its now the guy's fault? What if the woman herself is the reason the wedding is not going ahead?

No because he led her on and left her to hang dry!

The guy was getting older and not youngre and 31 is NOT too young to get married. One would have thought he would have come up with a better excuse!

You see pople do things because they can get away with it! That's why I love karma, you get your reward in the same fold. Good or bad!

Ujujoan:

No because he led her on and left her to hang dry!

The guy was getting older and not youngre and 31 is NOT too young to get married. One would have thought he would have come up with a better excuse!

You see pople do things because they can get away with it! That's why I love karma, you get your reward in the same fold. Good or bad!

i see,

The Story . . . .

My heart is broken and my tears have since finished. Maybe I am a freak of nature, atleast he did say that during one of his many verbal attacks or maybe I am not supposed to go through life happy. All the same, I accept, howbeit sadly the things that I cannot change. Like a woman possessed I have spent countless nights mourning this loss. Okay he left me and so what you say? I should move on they all say, but how? Can somebody please stop talking and show me how to mend a broken heart!!!!

My sisters have piled up countless books on my table. "Act like a Lady think Like a Man", " A Lover's guide to Happiness" and so on, but what you all fail to realise is that the hurt, I feel no one understands. The pain that greets me everytime, I think of how he used to love me!. We used to play all the time. Okay, let me talk about my loss, maybe in understanding the hurt that I feel, you would stop judging me and calling me the names you call me now.

We met in London some two years ago. It was a warm summer night and I was desperate for a calm drink. I had bills to pay, no money and I needed a pub to quench my fears and maybe a cigar or two. I walked into a busy pub in central London with just one aim in mind! Drink until I am too numb to think about all my bills! I rushed to the bar man and ordered a huge pint of beer. My beer could not come soon enough, I was thirsty, afraid and worried and this "stella Artois" was my salvation. Sipping my drink, I slowly started to observe my environment, you know taking it all in. As I looked at all the Londoners make merry, I saw him, my light, my man, my African prince!

He was sitting alone looking all cute, with a face that said I am happy, I am cute, I have the world in my temple worshipping me. I wanted to fall on my knees and worship this King that looked so bloody cute. I wanted to walk up to him and say all the things my heart was saying but I waited. Afterall, I was raised in Nigeria and I am Nigerian. Nigerian women do not chase men, our men hunt us down. Bloddy hell, I wanted this man so much, my internal taps were breaking loose! Still, I sat down and gave him the stare of his life. In that one moment his eyes caught mine and he smiled, I smiled too, hmm those teeth, they were perfect, he was indeed a demi god I thought.

He walked up to me and said hi, my name is Aina, am currently at the London School of Economics studying for an MBA, whats your story. I did not hear a word he had said, my eyes were locked in his and all I wanted was to give him the key of my apartment and take him home forever. Oh, I saw myself in a wedding dress, marrying Aina, yes that was his name and he is Nigerian, I was staring at my husband and I knew it! He turned to walk away and I quickly shouted, Aina my name is Mya, but I am Nigerian as well from Ogun State precisely. Do you care for a drink? I asked. He ordered for drinks and paid for them, I was happy a true gentleman, today is indeed my lucky day I thought.

I insisted he follow me to my house for a quick coffee, he declined. He is not into coffee he said too Western for his taste buds. I didn't push, when you are Nigerian, single and in London, you don't push because you don't want to seem desperate. We exchanged numbers and that is how it all began. We became inseperatable, he was my soul mate, lover and best friend. I quit smoking and drinking all together, he became my addiction. I met his family in London and he met mine. We talked about marriage, children, finances and all the things lovers talk about. I wanted a December 2010 wedding, we had been together for a while now so I think we are ready. I opted for a Nigerian wedding, to tell everyone I was married for real. I flew into Paris with my mum shopped like crazy picked out all the brides maid clothes and my beautiful, beautiful wedding gown. Ours was a fairy tale and I wanted the wedding to be a dream. I had the faint notion that may will be inspired by our story and people will fall in love during our wedding ceremony.


I kept myself busy with work and wedding plans and did not notice that Aina called less and less. When Nneka brought this to my attention, I panicked. Okay I take that back, I noticed but somehow, I did not want to be the woman who nags alot. He said he was busy with "dissertation" so I let him do his thing. Anyways, I went over to his apartment to give him the "we have to talk" speech. I got my parents to put an hold to the invites until we settled things between us. The family introduction was a huge success, it held in my parents house in East London. Infact, it was after our formal introduction and my trip to Paris he started acting all weird and crazy. So, here I am sitting in his apartment giving him the speech all men hated. I told him he had changed and I miss us spending time together. He said, there was nothing to worry about that he loves me more than life. I spent the night with him and we did what couples do. It was so sensational that I forgave him instantly. He agreed that we should postpone the wedding until he finished his Masters and got a job. I agreed, even though I am in my late twenties, I am not desperate to be married.


Things went from bad to worse and then out of the blues Aina calls me to come meet him up at Starbucks. I thought he hated coffee. I met up with him and after two rounds of coffee, he looked me in the eyes and said, I can't continue like this, its killing me, I love you but, I can't marry you. Its complicated, he said. I died a thousand times, if he was drinking alchohol, I would understand, he can't be high on coffee? or can he? I started crying, he was so embarrased, took me to his car and said he wants us to be friends but we can't get married. I asked amidst tears is there someone else? He answered no. Then what the hell is the problem, I was raising my voice at this point. he said he is 31 and not ready for marriage. The prick he was. He could have said this like last year, before we met my Parents and all, what the Bleep is I am not ready? I went from angry to sober and went on my knees begging him not to break my heart. What about all our friends and family? He didn't seem to mind, we were over he kept saying.

I went home in a taxi, hoping he will come running, begging that it was a mistake, he did not. All this happened in February, 2010 and this is June my heart still bleeds, the tears still flow and he is not begging to come back. Infact, I saw on facebook that he is dating Ijeoma a mutual friend who was in his MBA programme. I was dead, but alive enough to cry. I am a shadow of my old self. I love the job, I once hated as that is what keeps me busy each day. My family are crushed, they loved him but they are staying strong for me. I have contemplated suicide but I have started attending Redeemed Christain Church and I am meeting more people each day. They are encouraging me to wait on the Lord. Thankfully, I am not boozing away my sorrow, I am trying not to say "Bleep the pig" all the fucking time. I know the Lord now can He please make the pain go away? I am so sad, not happy, Nneka is getting married and I am not happy for her. I love her, but it should have been me!!!


I am not going to read any stupid relationship book. I am hurting and all they say is be strong act like a bitch men love that well screw them, I don't care anymore. I started this blog today, told all my friends, I will blog about pain until I feel better. I encourage all who are huring to blog about it on my page. Maybe together we can make ourselves feel better and love again. I need someone to talk to on my cell all the time, someone to love me for me, someone who knows how great I am on the inside and how I cry when I see people suffer. I need a man that loves me. I am depressed but like Pastor says it will get better. I choose to believe, even in my great sadness!

Ahan naw, she wanted it to be on her blog! More visistors . .

No vex eh!! Na ma humanitarian nature jare. I'm too nice for ma Liking.

lol

When a date is been fixed for the wedding,the man start counting down,and alot begins to bomberd his mind,while the woman is at high. Have a big cousin who told me he which to trade places with me just a week to his wedding,cus he doesn't think he is ready, but didn't know how to tell her,thank gawd for encouragement,and the rest is history now.



bottomline:ladies should be careful how they push their man,else situations like this will always ensue.

daylae:

When a date is been fixed for the wedding,the man start counting down,and alot begins to bomberd his mind,while the woman is at high. Have a big cousin who told me he which to trade places with me just a week to his wedding,cus he doesn't think he is ready, but didn't know how to tell her,thank gawd for encouragement,and the rest is history now.



bottomline:ladies should be careful how they push their man,else situations like this will always ensue.

So now it's the ladies fault that a man is too chicken to go thru with a wedding he planned

eyah.

is this a true story.

aina isnt a male first name and neither have i ever met a nigerian called mya.

just saying.

^after lots of pressure from the lady,the man may give in,even though he's not really ready

daylae:

^after lots of pressure from the lady,the man may give in,even though he's not really ready

A man that does that is obviosuly a weakling! Why would he even allow a girl to pressurize him into a marriage he's not ready for?

It's like s3x on the first date, guys are free to ask but if a girls gives in and gets dumped cos of it, it's her fault, not his! 

It turned out he's not anyway,and the lady bore the brunt.

Why does this have to be all HIS fault?


Sounds like she turned Bridezilla  on the guy.

From what I understand,it's a very common thing.I've heard

that it happens to a lot of couples-it's like the woman becomes

an entirely different person when she starts planning her wedding.

It's all she wants to think about,talk about etc.The person the guy was

in love with has just disappeared and has been taken over by this plann-

ing stressing monster.I mean a wedding is only as stressfull as you make

it if you choose to freak about every little napkin and centerpiece thats's going

to seep into the rest of your relationship.


Doing a little self reflection would  help her figure out what she did wrong.

I hope she finds the happiness she deserves.

minute:

Why does this have to be all HIS fault?


Sounds like she turned Bridezilla on the guy.

From what I understand,it's a very common thing.I've heard

that it happens to a lot of couples-it's like the woman becomes

an entirely different person when she starts planning her wedding.

It's all she wants to think about,talk about etc.The person the guy was

in love with has just disappeared and has been taken over by this plann-

ing stressing monster.I mean a wedding is only as stressfull as you make

it if you choose to freak about every little napkin and centerpiece thats's going

to seep into the rest of your relationship.


Doing a little self reflection would help her figure out what she did wrong.

I hope she finds the happiness she deserves.

Guess what, life happens!

People's attention shift slightly when they start planning for weddings, get new jobs, start having children. . . That's life!

No romances remains lovey dovey for ever. People have to get used to that!

I don't think she was too busy, at least she noticed when he started drifting. It is not a crim for a woman to invest time in planning a wedding. The wedding ends after a few months, he has her forever! One would expect a 31 year old man to understand that!

I dont understand what the big deal is here  , am sorry she got her heartbroken, but they are two sides to every story, it will be interesting to hear the Guy's side of the story. I suspect it will be completely different to what i have just read.

The guy has a right to break up the relationship if he is no longer interested, so she expects him to carry on with the wedding even though he doesn't love her no more and then they get married and divorce a week after? i don't think so.

Most of us have been through break up and it aint easy, i feel her pain and hopefully she gets over it  and move on with her life, we only live this life once, so i say she she dust herself up and live her life to the fullest and stop wallowing in self pity. I hope she gets the happiness she deserves.

sesman:

I dont understand what the big deal is here  , am sorry she got her heartbroken, but they are two sides to every story, it will be interesting to hear the Guy's side of the story. I suspect it will be completely different to what i have just read.

The guy has a right to break up the relationship if he is no longer interested, so she expects him to carry on with the wedding even though he doesn't love her no more and then they get married and divorce a week after? i don't think so.

Most of us have been through break up and it aint easy, i feel her pain and hopefully she gets over it  and move on with her life, we only live this life once, so i say she she dust herself up and live her life to the fullest and stop wallowing in self pity. I hope she gets the happiness she deserves.

She's not saying that. She's just wishing he was man enough to realize he was too young to get married . . before the wedding plans.

Part of what she's passing through is shame/embarassment, which could have been avoided if he didnt cowardly agree to a wedding he wasn't ready for!

He claimed he still loved her so actually your defence's weak!

Meanwhile the fact that he's dating someone else already just shows he's a lying b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

Had an experience like that once, the pain so intense that when you think about the event or incident, it actually translates into a physical pain in your heart and head. I dont really know how to describe it.

Sorry is not the word

Dalby:

Had an experience like that once, the pain so intense that when you think about the event or incident, it actually translates into a physical pain in your heart and head. I dont really know how to describe it.

Sorry is not the word

Hmmmn! What happened?

until the guy in question comes up with better version, my verdict is guilty as charged. For the love of God, whatever happened to effective communication, granted that she might have changed a bit during this time, its his duty to sit her down and "talk the talk". I mean calling off a wedding a few months, weeks or even days is just CRIMINAL. This is the sort of stunt people actually get killed for.

Then again, it could be Karma dealing with the Lady in question.

DOAweb:

IT's official - Ujujoan is the major stakeholder on this particular topic - girl you are all over this post like a . . .

Now why would I be advising myself

Awwwwwww, let me write a threatening letter to my fiance, (typing fast on pc)