eldee:

Freaking arrogant plonkers . . . would it have been better if he were sleeping with a banker??
What's with the silly emphasis on the housemaid part.

I still don't get why it should be the job of the law to punish a man for preferring his housemaid to his wife.

Dr Know:

In the dark, there is no difference between the housemaid and the madam!

Aloy+Emeka:

Nobody is stopping him for preferring his housemaid but he should be man enough to pay the prize.

favouredjb:

Mad man,stooping so low to fuk his house girl,God ll judge him

Osama10:

Oh la la, so the housemaid is sexier than madam?

hbrednic:

i believe God has more important things to care of.
the word "stooping so low to fuk a house girl" is both derogatry and discriminating.
housegirls are no less women than the so called madams 

favouredjb:

well,i know the house maid is human too, i agree with you,but do u think its fair?

eldee:

What price?? Splitting his property into two and giving half to a woman that was only there to spend your money in the first place??
We have taken some useless things from UK law, but divorce settlements are on a whole new level.

UK divorce laws are still stuck in the age-old concept that women are less able to work than men, hence the need to compensate them for divorces.
But this is 2010, most women work/should work, so where's the justification for paying her that exorbitant amount of money??

I'm still yet to see someone that can bring a reasonable answer to this simple question.

eldee:

You know what I think is not fair?? Staying in a marriage when all you want to do is sleep with someone else.

Aloy+Emeka:

Why do you find it difficult to swallow the fact that splitting properties law has come to stay in Nigeria?. Are you threatened by it or what?. If you are not comfortable with the law, stop cheating on your wife chikena.

The man may have made the money but he wouldn't achieve his full potential if the woman was not doing her job at home. So, she deserves half his empire as her share of their marriage property, child support to feed, clothe and shelter the man's children and alimony to compensate for the heart break and embarrassment.  That is why I suggest she gets 80-90% of their business empire and everybody will be even.

spikedcylinder:

Then why did he get married in the first place? To find someone to boss around? To be at his beck and call? Many men sleep around regardless, it doesn't mean they don't love their wives or that they want a divorce.
Also, people are harping on the fact that he slept with his maid for the simple reasons in dating/marriage - it is quite unethical to sleep with your partner's friend, sister, brother, employee, mother or father. The fact that she's a maid and human is not the bone of contention here, she's an employee of his wife. Sleeping with her is not only disrespectful to his wife but his children and everything else his marriage stood for.
If there are no consequences for certain actions, laws that need to be re-addressed and put in place etc, everything will just be exercises in futility.

eldee:

There are consequences . . . moral and social retribution are powerful enough to handle cases of ideological differences.
The law is not there to punish people for being 'unethical' with Spikedcylinder's moral standards.
Truth be told, how unethical is it in a country where polygamy is not illegal.

A marriage is not a prison . . .and we shouldn't financially cripple somebody because he realised that he made a mistake in his social life and he wants out.
Fine she should get enough money to support herself and her children . . . but it should end with the amount needed to sstain the life of the average middle class Nigerian.

He should not be punished for sleeping with his maid, he should be punished for cheating on his wife within the confines of their marriage (which is ordained by the law) as should be the case if it were the other way round.
My moral standards have nothing to do with an industrialist humping a tree, I was simply pointing out what was *common knowledge* regarding certain aspects of dating and marriage.
Marriage is not a prison, definitely. He wants out, fair enough. He should pay for going out. It's not a regular man/woman relationship that you can drop like hot lead. That's why people need to think carefully before going into such institutions because there are laws guiding them. If you are not marriage material and know your snake cannot remain in your knickers, don't get married.
Simples.

eldee:

There are consequences . . . moral and social retribution are powerful enough to handle cases of ideological differences.
The law is not there to punish people for being 'unethical' with Spikedcylinder's moral standards.
Truth be told, how unethical is it in a country where polygamy is not illegal.

A marriage is not a prison . . .and we shouldn't financially cripple somebody because he realised that he made a mistake in his social life and he wants out.
Fine she should get enough money to support herself and her children . . . but it should end with the amount needed to sstain the life of the average middle class Nigerian.

spikedcylinder:

He should not be punished for sleeping with his maid, he should be punished for cheating on his wife within the confines of their marriage (which is ordained by the law) as should be the case if it were the other way round.
My moral standards have nothing to do with an industrialist humping a tree, I was simply pointing out what was *common knowledge* regarding certain aspects of dating and marriage.
Marriage is not a prison, definitely. He wants out, fair enough. He should pay for going out. It's not a regular man/woman relationship that you can drop like hot lead. That's why people need to think carefully before going into such institutions because there are laws guiding them. If you are not marriage material and know your snake cannot remain in your knickers, don't get married.
Simples.

spikedcylinder:

Plus, he should not just pay her for upkeep of the kids and basic maintenance. Living for 30yrs with him, she'll be used to a certain lifestyle and going below that (I forgot the term for it - Relative Income Hypothesis, I think) is economically errr detrimental. He should pay her such that she can keep up with her lifestyle whilst taking care of herself and her kids.

Aloy+Emeka:

Polygamy is only legal in Nigeria under the customary law. If you married in the court and cheats on your wife with another woman, she can legally kick you out of the very house you built before you married her and take over your business. It has happened in Lagos 2 times. So, be careful how you assert the law and zip up unless you want to end up under Ojuelegba bridge. Nigerian women of this age are no more ready to take BS from men like you. You cheat, you pay dearly. 93% of your net worth or nothing.

eldee:


As I said before, look at the big picture, the law is wrong. . . full stop.
Just because it's the law doesn't mean it's perfect . . . you still haven't given a reasonable justification for these laws.

These laws are as daft as the law banning improper positioning of stamps on envelopes.

Aloy+Emeka:

It is the law accepted by the citizens of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and I think you should respect it. If it works for them who are you to come and tell them that the law in their Motherland is wrong?

eldee:

I am Nigerian by birth, and if I am affected by a silly law, I have the right to complain.
If the law needs change then it should be reviewed.

The fact that the daft Senators are more interested in stealing money while they just photocopy the UK Constitution isn't a valid reason.

~Sissy~:

it doesnt matter as long as you both are married and own properties whether shes a housewife, officewife, kitchenwife, bedroomwife, trophywife and what have you, she gets a share in the property. so, her contributions/not in the business doesnt hold water.


thats what you get for stooping too low, next time do it the proper way.

Aloy+Emeka:

I don't know why Nigerian men go bananas whenever issues boils down to losing part of their fortune to their wife during divorce proceedings.?. A real man should be able to let his wife walk with as many as possible without winking because a real man is confident in himself that he will make another one. Nigerian men are no real men in short.

stillwater:

N1 billion is too small.

Seun:

Why does who he cheated on have anything to do with what portion of his wealth she deserves?
As far as I'm concerned, if she didn't contribute to the business, she only deserves child support.

OYINKANSOW:

She certainly deserves some compensation and I am not talking about child support . It may not be anywhere near 1billion though. Lets look at this from the woman's perspective. Women give up sooooooo much to get married and stay married. I am sure the man married her because she was not not as rich as he was at the same time. Now she supported him, emotionally, physically, sexually (to release business tension), spiritually (fasted and prayed endlessly for him) and so on. She fed him well, encouraged him, stood in the gap for him atimes anytime he travelled, tended to his physical needs, took care of his in-laws, shared his fears and troubles, served as his back, dealt with miscellaneous in the house, managed housekeep money, made her lifestyle to fit his, stayed awake for him several times, etc.

Because of this he was able to build on what he had and make more.

OYINKANSOW:

Men with good wives make it better than men without because a good wife will effectively take care of the home front and the children so that the man can concentrate on his business. She did all the babysitting (if he was abroad he may have done part of it) and all the housekeeping so he could wake up easily, eat good meals (that made him sharp), wear clean clothes, go to work relaxed and come back to a cosy home. The woman kept the house cosy/cool for him.

OYINKANSOW:

Also marriage sort of limits women's destinies. They can't reach their full potential. They have to sacrifice part of it. MEN DON'T SACRIFICE ANYTHING. THEY HAVE IT ALL . Childbearing and childraising reduces women's productivity/productive life.Tending to the husband's needs (soooo compulsory) also does the same. Most Nigerian women once married turn their back on any personal stuff and live solely for the husband, kids and in-laws. Very few women have managed to combine career and family successfully.

They have to be there at all times for the husband, kids and in-laws whether they like it or not and whether it is convenient or not. Women give more in marriage than men do and gain less. Men gain well-behaved, well-brought-up kids (thanks to the mother) since in Africa men own the children. Men also gain a fully productive and fully supported life. They do not adapt to the wife, its the wife who adapts to the whole setup and sacrifices a lot.

Also, from the womb, women are made to prepare for marriage . "you better learn how to cook", "You better respect your junior brother cos he is a man", "You better dress well so that men can call you" etc. They have to be perfect But men do not have any preparation. No pressure. Also women are told not to be too rich or too brilliant or too tall so that men will not see them as uncontrollable. So women actually lower their productivity in order to get married.

Some people believe women should not use a car or live in their own houses before getting married. So the poor girl has to be trekking about so that men will "seeee" her. A lot of female doctors cannot even use their titles before marriage because it looks too big for them e.g. Dr Miss Yar' Adua looks somehow as men will be scared of her. And they do not get married easily because of their "too high intelligence" .Its not me ooo, I have heard several of my male colleagues say that.

Now tell me after all this, pls if you are a man put yourself in this woman's shoes for a second (pretend that you are a woman, don't worry it won't happen ) won't you do more? Then after suffering with her husband (even if she has her own wealth or potential e.g.CFA, PhD she has to bury it for the sake of her husband's ego) he dumps her for a common housemaid. Imagine the humiliation, side talks, insults this woman would have endured at the hands of this housemaid, her family and the public. The housemaid now shares her husband with her, matrimonial bed, etc. She now has to start her life again. Upon all he is denying her her child despite knowing that the child will do better with her.

If I was her, I would leave him to God. If he escapes retribution on this earth, he will not escape afterwards. God is not partial.

Aloy+Emeka:

Because he breached the contract of their marriage. There are consequences and unless we take it serious, men will continue to act like a he goat.

Aloy+Emeka:

Why won't she receive 1bn?. It is 50-50 as long as they are legally married coupled with the fact that she keeps the children and the house so she deserves the lion share. How will she maintain his children who are used to high standard of living?. How will she maintain their house which will definitely be a money guzzler and other occassional trips for holidays in Europe and America she and her kids got used to while married to her need to be taken care of.

Aloy+Emeka:

Finally, what is he doing with the few change due to him anyway, his  new_maid wife can manage him with N10M. He doesn't deserve more than that in my opinion.

Nigerian men needs to understand there are consequences to cheating and embarrassing their wives in public. One of the consequences in losing your fortune to YOUR WIFE.

Seun, if you cheat on your wife, you lose nairaland to her, chikena. You can go get some job at Abeokuta to piece yourself together.

chaircover:

Yes she didn't support him in the day to day running of the business but she most probably did the following and that must be taken into account and rewarded;

1. She made the home conducive enough for him to be able to come home to after a hard days slog in the office

chaircover:

2. She gave him his own children

chaircover:

4. Must have as some point encouraged him, prayed with him, advised him, listened to him and been a friend etc during the course of his business

chaircover:

5. Must have at some time entertained his business partners at their home

chaircover:

6. Must have attended business events away from their home with him

chaircover:

7. Must have had to sleep alone and taken responsibility of the smooth running of the home when he went on business trips

chaircover:

8. Believe it or not his being married would have given him some clout amongst his peers, family and community. I can only count very few single highly ranking politicians, pastors, traditional rulers etc

9. She kept the home affairs side of things going, so he could concentrate on his business

. . . . . . . And many more things that she has done in the background that must be considered. She should find herself a very good lawyer and fight for what is rightfully hers.

Only a jerk of a man refuses to pay his ex-wife a decent amount of alimony especially if he can afford it; moreso he is the main cause of the break-up. I have no respect for men who shy away from their responsibilities just because they have the power to do so.

If he has a conscience, then he should do the right thing

Outstrip:

So you think because you can type you have now accomplished something. It does not even matter whether he cheated or not. It has nothing to do with it. It might add icing on the cake but it is not even important. The man is the one asking for a divorce after being married to her since 1987. He wants to divorce her, take the child and move on with his new wife. God will simply punish him and every single man that thinks like him. There is no way that kind of ignorance and wickedness can stand. The sad part is that it does not seem abnormal to any of you. It is just obvious that wickedness and maliciousness if woven into the fabric of Nigerian culture.

Outstrip:

The man himself is not the brightest person and I think when you are so consumed with your own ignorance you fail to even recognize common sense. How can you say that there is property and it is owed solely by you when you have been married for over 20 years. Only in Nigeria will someone dare say a thing like that. In any other place you would be scared to say that because it will be obvious to all that you are simply a malicious and evil person. In Nigeria someone says it and people come out and cheer him on. For real at some point you have to pretend that you have shame even if you do not feel it

chaircover:

What I don't get is why/how do people who used to love each other so much can become so spiteful.

What does the man stand to lose by paying for his wife to be comfortable after the divorce especially as he can afford it?

Would he rather she sold pure water or gala on the street? What is wrong with peoples consciences these days?

texazzpete:

There's nothing in the marriage court papers that states that you'll 'pay dearly' if the contract is breached.
Also, what about Nigerian women? Who's to say women don't commit adultery? And as far as marriage is concerned, who's to say relentless nagging isn't a 'breach' of the 'contract'? AT least by her own statement the woman admits to harbouring and displaying distrust for her husband. You swore to love and trust your man. You don't anymore. doesn't that too qualify as a breach of contract?

I hope you do realize that the only way to be sure she gets at least 90% of his wealth is to have him killed? Just come out and say it plainly 

bish-2:

Not just in Naija, women all around the world are just "bloody opportunists",  From Abrahamnovic's of chelsea's wife to Tiger Wood's and this one on ground. Had it been the man was wretched will she sue for N1b or just follow her new toaster quietly? If truly she was hardworking, she should face her biz and let the man concentrate on his biz, but because she is lazy, she even doubts her ability to manage N1b and has to ask for an Extra N300,00 for future insurance against hunger when she squanders the N1b.

eldee:

I think divorce laws need a review.

Truthfully what's the reasoning behind letting a woman claim money after divorce??
That tradition is set in Victorian Britain when women never used to work. . . if you don't get and education and work, then tough luck . . . why should I pay you 1BN because I prefer to be with the housemaid??


Is marriage a prison?? Should you pay just because you no longer find the woman attractive??

This is 2010 for heaven's sake . . .

Renoya:

There is no mention of the woman having done something bad, even though its the man that is asking for divorce. So my judgement ----  All the properties shld be shared 50/50 (they both worked hard for it - even though the woman did hers at home and the man, outside the home.) and the child shld be given to the woman (since the man is more interested in frolicking around at his old age)