ruba_slipa:

Gotta say that I'm with the women on this one. Some of the comments men are making on this issue are disgraceful, don't list me among those men 'uniting to keep women down', especially with specious arguments.

Adultery or no adultery (and knowing what I can even do myself, let alone knowing what I have heard of happening before, I'm betting that this big man has seen more 'pata', than just the one his wife wears), the fact is that he is the one who wants to divorce his wife. In almost every advanced country, the eventual laws decree that when a man wants to abandon his wife and children, he has to continue to take care of them same way, they are not old socks that have developed holes. It's not just the support his wife gave him in the early years, it's the fact that he supposedly entered into a lifetime partnership contract with her, which he now wants to tear up.

Again, in most countries, the final legal position is that rich or poor, the richer party asking for divorce pays to maintain the 'ex' according to their means, and according to the wealth gained during the marriage. So a poor man can get away with 'tashere' money, because that's all he has. This man has to pay real money, as he can afford it. It even goes for mega-rich wives. Madonna had to pay her (rich) ex around £50m plus property when they divorced.

As far as I can see, most of the men making shameful comments are simply in favour of men being able to abandon their families cheaply. It is not only Nigerian men that like to be able to do this - the same behaviour shaped the divorce laws in Europe and America.

It seems extreme for the very rich, but actually they are intended to safeguard the poor.

All you guys claiming the wife is a gold-digger (she waited small to begin digging o!), comparing the wife with Heather Mills, saying the wife is equally at fault, it's unnecessary punishment, she is trying to frustrate him, she deserves nothing etc, should hang your heads. 

Men don't like to marry a woman who is too much more successful than themselves, because they don't want to be treated the way that they like to treat women.

BTW, The comments (supposedly) from the kids on the case are pretty meaningless, they are more concerned with the family name, and say nothing to the point.

[/quote][quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=457484.msg6210448#msg6210448 date=1276491510]
Your story didn't add up. If he showed up 20 years later because he went broke, what were his other children trying to share after his demise?

Sagamite:

Moronic arguments as usual.

Sagamite:

So a man that wants to leave a relationship is "abandoning" his wife and children. What a joke.

Sagamite:

So because the West does something in a certian way, we should also do it. No justifications why it is right to do it that way except "if a man wants to leave a relationship, automatically the law should regard it as he is abandoning his wife and kids" despite WANTING custody of his kids. Unbelieveable ignorance! Moronic arguments.

Sagamite:

I am the type that would refuse to eat the bread until the chic butters both sides. 

Blatant injustice never brings peace or progress. There should be clear strive for justice even if it is quixotic.

I am saying the law in places like Africa is so screwed against women, some men are so heartless and wicked towards women exploiting the fact the society is patriarchal, but the women can not leave the relationship because they would end up destitute and suffering. So they stay in miserable relationships being unhappy. That is not right or fair.

Sagamite:

I am the type that would refuse to eat the bread until the chic butters both sides. 

Blatant injustice never brings peace or progress. There should be clear strive for justice even if it is quixotic.

I am saying the law in places like Africa is so screwed against women, some men are so heartless and wicked towards women exploiting the fact the society is patriarchal, but the women can not leave the relationship because they would end up destitute and suffering. So they stay in miserable relationships being unhappy. That is not right or fair.

allycat:

I didnt say he was broke, I said buisiness took a turn for the worse. He wasnt wretched when he died but was no where near the man we knew of in the 80's and early 90's.
Any way broke self is relative. For someone who was high flying with at least a house in London and other properties in Lagos, to be reduced to owning just one house in  Isolo  and another in the village: for him those were hard times. I believe they also assumed my aunts house  and car were also his property.
Even the man with a mud hut in the village has people struggling over his property when he dies

Aloy+Emeka:

Because there is no compensation to pay. Gbenga is 300x richer than Moji, so what does he want from her?.  He[Gbenga] should also be held responsible for child support tho even besides, his actions may be the reason why Moji cheated. Gbenga is known to be painting the town red with different women. This is not about Moji, it's about the injestice meted on women by Nigerian men and I am marveled at the speed all of them unite irrespective of religious, ethical and tribal differences in order to subdue women. Why do Nigerian men feel threatened and become self defensive whenever issues of divorce and the 50/50 settlement come up?

spikedcylinder:

I can't be bothered to read all the arguments here but it seems we'll never agree to disagree.
Sagamite, I know is a lost cause. Him and satan are very good friends. Eldee, how do you plead?

ruba_slipa:

Gotta say that I'm with the women on this one. Some of the comments men are making on this issue are disgraceful, don't list me among those men 'uniting to keep women down', especially with specious arguments.

ruba_slipa:

Adultery or no adultery (and knowing what I can even do myself, let alone knowing what I have heard of happening before, I'm betting that this big man has seen more 'pata', than just the one his wife wears), the fact is that he is the one who wants to divorce his wife. In almost every advanced country, the eventual laws decree that when a man wants to abandon his wife and children, he has to continue to take care of them same way, they are not old socks that have developed holes. It's not just the support his wife gave him in the early years, it's the fact that he supposedly entered into a lifetime partnership contract with her, which he now wants to tear up.

ruba_slipa:

Again, in most countries, the final legal position is that rich or poor, the richer party asking for divorce pays to maintain the 'ex' according to their means, and according to the wealth gained during the marriage. So a poor man can get away with 'tashere' money, because that's all he has. This man has to pay real money, as he can afford it. It even goes for mega-rich wives. Madonna had to pay her (rich) ex around £50m plus property when they divorced.

As far as I can see, most of the men making shameful comments are simply in favour of men being able to abandon their families cheaply. It is not only Nigerian men that like to be able to do this - the same behaviour shaped the divorce laws in Europe and America.

ruba_slipa:

It seems extreme for the very rich, but actually they are intended to safeguard the poor.

michelin89:

As much as I feel the woman's pain, she can't have 50% of anything.

I don't want any man wanting 50% of my future empire because I screwed the driver.

eldee:


By your logic, if I rob First Bank or Barclays, I should go without any punishment because they '300x richer' than me??
You're the one arguing blindly with some points that just make Def Jam Comedy look serious.

ruba_slipa:

You've come again with your bad attitude.  Listen, everyone on Nairaland knows what kind of thing you are. Hint to anyone who doesn't know, just click on his name and check his past posts.

ruba_slipa:

As usual, the mainstay of your argument is to call other people 'slowpoke'. Is that your mother's nickname for you?

ruba_slipa:

You are the funnier joke. The guy wants to  skip to his next wife, and carry everything with him. His attitude doesn't appear to be that his wife is too greedy, he is saying that everything - all cash, assets and property belongs to him. He wants even the underage child (most likely so that he can dodge child maintenance money). After 18 years. You might not think he is trying to abandon the woman, but others are laughing at you.

ruba_slipa:

The guy doesn't want to maintain his old, loyal wife, and he cannot bring out any offence she has committed. He already knows where his fresh 'pum-pum' is. Dat one na abandonment o! Don't defend the guy just because you can do the same thing.

ruba_slipa:

Strangely enough, no matter what it is, anything that the West does is automatically bad in your eyes. As old as you are, you were opposing reading and writing as being 'White man's nonsense', and later, shouting against people sending their daughters to school as being 'un-African'.

ruba_slipa:

If you can't talk even 10% sense, shut up. Aren't you the same person advocating that gay men and women should be burnt (na 'oyinbo invention'), and claiming that Amodu is on the same level as Lagerback (mainly on the grounds that Amodu is one of us, where as Lagerback is white). Don't let me start on you, because I will just fillet your back catalogue of posts to reveal the pathetic level of your comments.

ruba_slipa:

SAGAMITE is one of the primitive, reactionary, misogynist, backwards, chauvinist, unreasoning and blind "people" whose attitudes hold back society from progress. Watch his responses. His standard attitude is that when he can't answer a point, he simply ignores it, and shifts the goalposts to another point. He has been already yapped up and down all over Nairaland, before I even registered, so I've said enough for now.

rhymz:

. . .and I am also saying that as a human being, I would rather work with what is obtainable( and may be circumvent it to my own benefit) than work with quixotic beliefs that can't help me. . .

rhymz:

I would rather a woman who would not bail out on me at the slightest provocation than the one that will have me sign up pre-nups to determine how to live with her and share my property if she gets tired of my mistakes.

rhymz:

. .Yes, our laws are lopsided to the benefits of male-folks just like that of the west is so insanely pro-femalfolks- that alone shows there aint no such thing as a slice buttered on both sides. No system is perfect, you can only perfect it with a good attorney.

rhymz:

For instance, Imagine a woman asking for 1billion Naira plus 300,000 naira upkeep all because her husband wants a divorce, even though she has never contributed a dime to the success of such wealth. May be those flaws are there to keep both greedy men and greedy women in check. 

Aloy+Emeka:

Because there is no compensation to pay. Gbenga is 300x richer than Moji, so what does he want from her?. He[Gbenga] should also be held responsible for child support tho even besides, his actions may be the reason why Moji cheated. Gbenga is known to be painting the town red with different women. This is not about Moji, it's about the injestice meted on women by Nigerian men and I am marveled at the speed all of them unite irrespective of religious, ethical and tribal differences in order to subdue women. Why do Nigerian men feel threatened and become self defensive whenever issues of divorce and the 50/50 settlement come up?

Aloy+Emeka:

Who will give a man 50% of your empire because of that?. He will probably be guilty of adultery too besides, a woman screws her driver with a good reason but a man screws the maid for no reason[frivolous screwing]. Also adulterous women are usually a victim of adulterous husbands but adulterous husbands are victims of nobody but the HE-goat in them.  There are also cases of women who commit adultery because they are victims of emotional blackmail from men or even under some spell in some cases. I think the law should consider the differences in the type of adultery before awarding anything. The judicial sledge hammer should focus and hit hard on men alone because they are never victims of anything in this case.

Michelin, if you allow men to breathe some fresh air, they will soon start looking for allowance.

Aloy+Emeka:

I don't know where you got this notion but Gbenga is free to sue for damages assuming Moji is affluent enough to pay him. Of course he will not because he will look cheap before his kinsmen. Will you not be ashamed to ask for 50% of your wife's empire in the case of divorce?. What kind of menn do we have in todays world?. They don't have any shame is mooching off a woman, hmmmm.

eldee:

You see what I said about not bringing in your moral standards into this.
I can't ignore the truth because I want to cross Spikedcylinder's moral threshold.

If you cannot bring valid points, I'll just go chill with Sagamite and Satan, they know a thing or two bout justice.

My 'valid points' are unacceptable to you, as yours are to me. If eldee's kini is meant solely for the maid and gardener, you can even throw in the butler in there, that's his palava. But eldee shouldn't get married or else someone stands the chance of taking away half his 'empire'.
Meanwhile, sagamite usually has several pints of O-ve in his refrigerator. Join his party, whydoncha?

Sagamite:

So when a woman commits adultery it is OK?

There are good reasons?

Are you trying to whine people up?

Aloy+Emeka:

Its not okay but women usually have their reasons for entering into adulterous affair unlike men who do it by force of habit. Also, how many women actually commit adultery compared to men where about 96% of them are guilty?

spikedcylinder:

My 'valid points' are unacceptable to you, as yours are to me. If eldee's kini is meant solely for the maid and gardener, you can even throw in the butler in there, that's his palava. But eldee shouldn't get married or else someone stands the chance of taking away half his 'empire'.
Meanwhile, sagamite usually has several pints of O-ve in his refrigerator. Join his party, whydoncha?

invisible!:

Am sure this man sued for divorce because the wife is making his life hellish. She should get no dime!

Sagamite:



So if you have a reason it is okay?

Some reasons are acceptable, others are not?

Are you trying to whine me up?

Tell me the reasons you find acceptable.

You think women don't commit adultery because they, unlike men, don't boast about it? You think they don't cheat because they are more secretive and would not even let their best friend know what they are doing?

Aloy+Emeka:

Women: sobs and depressed after series of abuse and neglect by her husband and any male shoulder she can cry on may take advantage of her emotional state.

Men: No problem at home, wife is screwing him fine yet he will shout, damn this chic got nice butt and I must get there or I die. Sort of an adultery of passion.
There case is like a well fed child who goes into the market to steal bread. That is why the law does not desire to spare them in terms of adultery. Forget the women hide theirs thingy; men are career adulterers.