There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

Don't try that bro..they get mad when you tell them things like that,therefore look elsewhere!

Swiftlee:
There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

Wait first! When you met her was she a lepa? Did she complain to you about her size? Oya look front dey find lepa go another compound abi yard...

Swiftlee:
There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

Swiftlee:
There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

.......reduce what??...Bro. .please . ...if u don't wannto smash...let me smash!! ((No ofeense ))

Stick a pin in her and watch the air drain out...

The fact that you are worried about her looks proves what you have for her is far from "love" and closer to "Lust"..........

MrCork:




.......reduce what??...Bro. .please . ...if u don't wannto hit it...let me hit it!! ((No ofeense ))

.

The girl is also very dark skinned

soberdrunk:
The fact that you are worried about her looks proves what you have for her is far from "love" and closer to "Lust"..........

No bro. The fact that am worried about her looks does not in any way show I lust after her. Love too has eyes and can see. Love too has reservations bro

MrCork:




.......reduce what??...Bro. .please . ...if u don't wannto smash...let me smash! ((No ofeense ))

Bia, everything is not about smashing this and that now! Calm down. Some of us still want the best for those we truly love not just infatuations up and down which gives less worry about how the person looks.. just hit and run.

Swiftlee:

Bia, everything is not about smashing this and that now! Calm down. Some of us still want the best for those we truly love not just infatuations up and down which gives less worry about how the person looks.. just hit and run.

^^STORY. ..Bro which best are u besting?. If u dont wanna smash, can I smash?...did I say somtin wrong? (No ofeense )

Lol, would you wanna be told that you're fat though?
When people gain weight, they know. So it becomes annoying when they're constantly reminded of how big they've gotten.

Since December I've gradually put on weight & people have been pointing it out, much to my annoyance. Just this past weekend, someone who I consider to be just one bite away from being obese told me that we are now almost the same size. LMFAO. I know she was probably joking , but I FELT that. I almost exploded, not from being fat, but from rage. I was really angry & offended that she saw me that way

Weight gain is a sensitive topic. See I got touched when it was someone I don't even care about that said it. If she likes you & you put her on the spot like that, she'll either catch feelings (be hurt ) or hate you on the spot. Tread carefully

XhosaNostra:
Lol, would you wanna be told that you're fat though?
When people gain weight, they know. So it becomes annoying when they're constantly reminded of how big they've gotten.

Since December I've gradually put on weight & people have been pointing it out, much to my annoyance. Just this past weekend, someone who I consider to be just one bite away from being obese told me that we are now almost the same size. LMFAO. I know she was probably joking , but I FELT that. I almost exploded, not from being fat, but from rage. I was really angry & offended that she saw me that way

Weight gain is a sensitive topic. See I got touched when it was someone I don't even care about that said it. If she likes you & you put her on the spot like that, she'll either catch feelings (be hurt ) or hate you on the spot. Tread carefully

Hmmm, thanks. This one is very strong o. How can someone say it so that any decision you make later would not be referenced to when you said she was over weight or me been misconceived.

Swiftlee:

Hmmm, thanks. This one is very strong o. How can someone say it so that any decision you make later would not be referenced to when you said she was over weight or me been misconceived.

Lol, I really don't know the best way you can bring it up to her. It's a touchy subject, that's all I can say. Maybe you should fùck her skinny Sex is a calorie burner right or are they lying? Let's find out.

In love, fear is not an option. I don’t see anything wrong in telling her how you would like her to hit the gym or lose some weight. It’s all for her good and her health. If we always wait for people to tell us only good things about ourselves, then we are far from maturity.

If that would make her hate you, then you need to think twice about the friendship or relationship. Just tell her lovingly, not in a harsh manner. Or jokingly, without judging her. She has to trust you to know you actually mean well for her.

And tell her, she doesn’t need to change because of you. You wouldn’t love her less. You just need her to change for health reasons and because you see a future with her. And she should feel free to point out whatever change she wants in you too. Don’t make it about you. That would be selfish.

XhosaNostra:
Lol, would you wanna be told that you're fat though?
When people gain weight, they know. So it becomes annoying when they're constantly reminded of how big they've gotten.

Since December I've gradually put on weight & people have been pointing it out, much to my annoyance. Just this past weekend, someone who I consider to be just one bite away from being obese told me that we are now almost the same size. LMFAO. I know she was probably joking , but I FELT that. I almost exploded, not from being fat, but from rage. I was really angry & offended that she saw me that way

Weight gain is a sensitive topic. See I got touched when it was someone I don't even care about that said it. If she likes you & you put her on the spot like that, she'll either catch feelings (be hurt ) or hate you on the spot. Tread carefully

@ Bolded: Very funny. Lols.

Swiftlee:

No bro. The fact that am worried about her looks does not in any way show I lust after her. Love too has eyes and can see. Love too has reservations bro

Poetic.

soberdrunk:
The fact that you are worried about her looks proves what you have for her is far from "love" and closer to "Lust"..........

like seriously? Can you watch your girl or wife turn to a fat pig and still maintain love and not tell her the truth?

Caracta:
In love, fear is not an option . I don’t see anything wrong in telling her how you would like her to hit the gym or lose some weight. It’s all for her good and her health. If we always wait for people to tell us only good things about ourselves, then we are far from maturity.

If that would make her hate you, then you need to think twice about the friendship or relationship. Just tell her lovingly, not in a harsh manner. Or jokingly, without judging her. She has to trust you to know you actually mean well for her.

And tell her, she doesn’t need to change because of you . You wouldn’t love her less. You just need her to change for health reasons and because you see a future with her. And she should feel free to point out whatever change she wants in you too. Don’t make it about you. That would be selfish.

first bolded: onpoint. i dont know what becomes hard for people to tell their loved ones the truth. personally i have never struggled with this. when a girl has a hairstyle thats whack i tell her. when her cooking is shìtty i tell her. i cant let her keep doing something that would embarass her out there, all the while pretending its OK. when she goes out she must know everything is in place.
second bolded: oh yes she has to change. i know women are notorious for refusing to change for men yet expect men to change for them. changing for a man isnt admitting defeat or being dumb for someone or giving up your freedom or whatever. its called COMPROMISE. without it no love can last. if you cant change for anyone then you're better off dating yourself AKA being single.

@MISEDUCATIONS, nice angle on your second point. I mentioned that because changing for only the guy means the moment he is no longer in the picture, she would go back to adding weight. See what Toke Makinwa did for her ex? She needs to understand it’s not just about him but doing that for him also means love and acceptance.

I’ll rephrase. She should not do it SOLELY for the guy.

It makes a lot of sense to date a guy who wouldn’t be afraid to tell you your shortcomings. Who has time for ‘pancake’ relationship?

XhosaNostra:
Lol, would you wanna be told that you're fat though?

Why not? This generation is too weak for my liking. When I was younger, people[especially mothers] used to slap me on the back when I walk past them and it was their way of telling me to straighten up because I was beginning to bend due to my height. It helped me a lot.

XhosaNostra:
When people gain weight, they know. So it becomes annoying when they're constantly reminded of how big they've gotten.

This is different.

XhosaNostra:
Since December I've gradually put on weight & people have been pointing it out, much to my annoyance. Just this past weekend, someone who I consider to be just one bite away from being obese told me that we are now almost the same size. LMFAO. I know she was probably joking , but I FELT that. I almost exploded, not from being fat, but from rage.

You've issues that you really need to work on. I won't tell you which one exactly because you may send missiles to my home.

XhosaNostra:
I was really angry & offended that she saw me that way

Weight gain is a sensitive topic.

It is not. If you're gaining weight and someone says, 'sis, you need to pay attention to your weight' and you get angry then you two problems. Weight gain and the issue that I don't wanna mention. You ought to thank and respect the person for telling you the truth.

XhosaNostra:
See I got touched when it was someone I don't even care about that said it. If she likes you & you put her on the spot like that, she'll either catch feelings (be hurt ) or hate you on the spot. Tread carefully

Win win for him. I just don't know why I was born in a weak generation like this one where everything has to be toned down, including the truth.

XhosaNostra:
Lol, would you wanna be told that you're fat though?
When people gain weight, they know. So it becomes annoying when they're constantly reminded of how big they've gotten.

Since December I've gradually put on weight & people have been pointing it out, much to my annoyance. Just this past weekend, someone who I consider to be just one bite away from being obese told me that we are now almost the same size. LMFAO. I know she was probably joking , but I FELT that. I almost exploded, not from being fat, but from rage. I was really angry & offended that she saw me that way

Weight gain is a sensitive topic. See I got touched when it was someone I don't even care about that said it. If she likes you & you put her on the spot like that, she'll either catch feelings (be hurt ) or hate you on the spot. Tread carefully

I can relate...it's the worst when they tell you as if you don't know. Honestly I think its just to get to you... I bit off my brother's head for teasing me once... Was so pissed ...

Will telling me reduce my weight ... No!

Swiftlee:
There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

No offence but is she your wife No ... I'm not sure why you even feel entitled to comment on her weight...are you the one paying for her feeding

All I know is you should get ready for a good slap if you become bold enough to tell her

Swiftlee:

No bro. The fact that am worried about her looks does not in any way show I lust after her. Love too has eyes and can see. Love too has reservations bro

Makes no sense. She is fat .... you fall in love with her when she is fat...so how can being fat be a turn off?

Swiftlee:

Hmmm, thanks. This one is very strong o. How can someone say it so that any decision you make later would not be referenced to when you said she was over weight or me been misconceived.

Don't say it. Take active steps to help her lose the weight. If you feel weightloss will look better on her, then work on it WITH her. Don't tell her to work with it.

Yes, weight gain is a sensitive topic due to societal stigmatization. 6 out of 10 people who are fat/obese know this. They sometimes struggle with it. They struggle with being accepted because they are overweight. You don't need to add to that struggle by joining the bandwagon of those who tell them they are overweight without actually doing anything practical to help them get better, especially if you are someone they love.

Distance should not be a barrier.

After child birth, I did struggle with weight gain.
Hubby use to do exercise with me on video call if he wasn't physically present.

Tallesty1:
Why not? This generation is too weak for my liking. When I was younger, people[especially mothers] used to slap me on the back when I walk past them and it was their way of telling me to straighten up because I was beginning to bend due to my height. It helped me a lot.
This is different.

You've issues that you really need to work on. I won't tell you which one exactly because you may send missiles to my home. It is not. If you're gaining weight and someone says, 'sis, you need to pay attention to your weight' and you get angry then you two problems. Weight gain and the issue that I don't wanna mention. You ought to thank and respect the person for telling you the truth.Win win for him. I just don't know why I was born in a weak generation like this one where everything has to be toned down, including the truth.

LMAO. If nobody asked for your opinion, then you should just keep mum. It's better to say nothing at all than go around being a devil's advocate. There's a thin line between someone who doesn't like to sugarcoat shìt & a self important bully who feels it's his duty to fix what he thinks is wrong with the world. So do stay in your lane.

Like I said, when we gain weight we're very much aware of it, so keep your "truth" or whatever else you call to yourself. Done.

Yellowdayzee:


No offence but is she your wife No ... I'm not sure why you even feel entitled to comment on her weight...are you the one paying for her feeding

All I know is you should get ready for a good slap if you become bold enough to tell her

The only time fat or not becomes an issue is when 70% of the sum total of your motivation to love your woman comes from her sexy shape and beauty.

These things fade. Olympus must surely fall.
So why then.

Focus on building your love based on timeless values of selflessness, and kindness, and compassion, and the uncommon value they add to your life. Let everything else be jara.

Funny enough there are people who get turned on from looking at their partners... flabby tummy, tiger claws, fallen Olympus, and what not. It's because they first fell in love with the intangible, the unseen.

Relationship goals...

XhosaNostra:


LMAO. If nobody asked for your opinion, then you should just keep mum. It's better to say nothing at all than go around being a devil's advocate. There's a thin line between someone who doesn't like to sugarcoat shìt & a self important bully who feels it's his duty to fix what he thinks is wrong with the world. So do stay in your lane.

Like I said, when we gain weight we're very much aware of it, so keep your "truth" or whatever else you call to yourself. Done.

Tallesty1, listen to her.

Signed on behalf of Orobo Toh Badt Ladies Association.

MizColi

MizMyColi:


Tallesty1, listen to her.

Signed on behalf of Orobo Toh Badt Ladies Association.

MizColi

Let's sumo wrestle him!

XhosaNostra:


Let's sumo wrestle him!

He's my brother o

Please

Swiftlee:
There is this lady I really like so much but one major turn off I have with ladies is been over weight or too fat or surplus! I don't know how I can tell her to try and reduce her weight as ladies don't like been told that they are fat. I once did that and became an automatic enemy with one lady. Help me!!

What is your own now. If you don't like fat girls some men do leave her alone.