Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,146,301 members, 7,792,594 topics. Date: Wednesday, 10 April 2024 at 07:11 AM

Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? (24842 Views)

Should One Ask A Divorcee What Caused The Split? / Will Your Parents Support You Marrying A Divorcee / 'My Wife Is Serial Divorcee, I'm Her 5th Husband' (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by frozen70(f): 6:24am On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

It's high time people should learn to respect others wishes when it comes to love matters.

If she is his choice, he should allowed to love and stay with anybody he wished to stay with for the rest of his life, if she is the one to make him happy.

They should be after what makes him happy not what the family wants

What if the lady in question is her sister, would they tell the ma not to marry her just because she us a divorcee.
Anybody can be a divorcee no body wishes for that pls

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by SapphirePRINCEX(f): 7:01am On Jul 06, 2018
TonyeBarcanista:

I put it to you that you are being economical with reasoning
Every man to their opinions anyways..
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by kyella(f): 7:07am On Jul 06, 2018
he can get married to her if he wants... but he should know Dat women like dese don't really take marriage seriously... dey re not afraid to take a walk when things go south.. since she has been married before and would always put her children first... so my advice is to look for a never married matured woman... who is really ready to settle down
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by nairaland0753: 9:07am On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.


MY OPINION MAY NOT COUNT But I will say this is a tough one cos it has to do with a thing of the mind/heart. We shouldn't all condenm the woman and judge her based on her past. See, life is beyond the ordinary. No one ever wishes to be SEPARATED or DIVORCED. Some ppl tried making it work sadly, they were faced with certain circumstances beyond their control and were left with no other option than to do what was favourable to them and what would have made them happy "BUT" from the biblical perspective, GOD HATES DIVORCE (I know some ppl will say it was humans who wrote the Bible but it was the same God who spoke through them) I am not a pastor, I am just me working towards spiritual wholeness and my salvation.
I have read my bible countlesss times and in it i never saw where anyone got divorced instead they married more than one wife and had so many concubines (please i am not saying having an extra marital affair or marrying more than one wife is the best ooo) all i am saying is there is no where in the bible where anyone got divorced (I STAND TO BE CORRECTED ON THIS)


Examples of Men who got married to more than one wife not mentioning their concubines were :- ABRAHAM, he married Sarah and Keturah who bore him six sons- Gen 25:19

ESAU, was 40 years old when he married 2 wives- Judith and Basemath and later married Mahalath (Ishmael's daughter) a total of 3 wives- Gen 26:34

JACOB, was in love with Rachel but first married Leah (Rachel's elder sister) Gen 29:18

I could go on and on giving examples.
My Point is :- from the old testament down to the new, i never saw a place where anyone got divorced. They married more than one and took care of all of them (like i said, most of them had numerous concubines who even bore them more sons). Please, your brother shouldn't try it at all. He should pray and ask that God grants him divine wisdom, the spirit of discernment and the mind to be patient till his time comes. If the woman is financially stable and he is not, he shouldn't still try it. it is best he finds somone who they can grow together. As for d lady, i really don't know what to say but i pray God sees her through esp in fending for her children.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by PropertyDeals(f): 10:01am On Jul 06, 2018
Diverse opinion flowing here and there. What a world?
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by CioAngels(f): 10:22am On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.
No don't try it, are you a young man? If you are, then it is risky because you may end up not having your own Children but train the children of another man. The end result tomorrow might be a terrible disaster. Please, get yourself another woman because this interest of yours to marry a divorcee with 3 little children might not be ordinary.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by CioAngels(f): 10:32am On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.
No don't try it, are you a young man? If you are, then it is risky because you may end up not having your own Children but train the children of another man. The end result tomorrow might be a terrible disaster. Please, get yourself another woman because this interest of yours to marry a divorcee with 3 little children might not be ordinary.j
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by Barzinime(m): 10:57am On Jul 06, 2018
Go tell that to Macron.
Mentality like this are one of the reasons we are going backward in this country.
lobell:
So women have finished in the whole world so much so that you have to marry another man's wife, okwaya?

I raise yansh for you.

1 Like

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by lobell: 11:08am On Jul 06, 2018
Barzinime:
Go tell that to Macron.
Mentality like this are one of the reasons we are going backward in this country.

Macron? He is now your standard, abi? There are many 65-year old women around where you live, why don't you follow your role-models' footsteps and take one home, or better still, go one better and take two.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by Barzinime(m): 11:35am On Jul 06, 2018
I use successful people as standard, not you.
If i see an old woman that makes me happy, i will marry her, go & kill yourself.
lobell:


Macron? He is now your standard, abi? There are many 65-year old women around where you live, why don't you follow your role-models' footsteps and take one home, or better still, go one better and take two.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by ladyverere(f): 1:55pm On Jul 06, 2018
Flye:


The only funny thing here is you women sees everything as a competition or it must be applicable to both genda not realising that every genda has peculiarity and role.

If a woman marries a man with 7kids, she is sure those children are not her responsibilities, in fact on many occasions the woman dominates and overshadow the presence of the children at home. Many time those women ends up molesting and abusing those children. It also does not prevent the other woman from having her own children.

If a man marries divorcee woman with 3 kids, this is Nigeria that child support is not in existence, the man is certain to take partial or full responsibilities of those children.
After 3 children, how many more children is the woman willing to give birth to for the man? Don't you think the man also needs 2 or 3 kids of his own?

This should not be seen as gender thing, it goes beyond common gender sentiment.

What the woman needs is divorcee or widower like herself who really does not need children and his own children are old enough to cope with competing interest and dominance rivalry in the family.

See, a wife is in charge of the home front. Do you expect the husband who is hustling to also be in charge of the house? You forget the children will grow up. And yes, the woman would still give him his own children. As for finance, I doubt the woman is idle. She will surely have her own means of earning a living and if she is really independent she will not burden her new husband with the care of her children.

My father has 7 children and he is currently married to a young woman. Will they not have children because my father already has 7? My aunt married a man with 5 kids, although she couldn't have her own kids the husband has been complaining of her inability to have kids. Wouldn't you say he ought to be content with his 5 children? So all these are subjective. Let him make his own decision. It concerns none of us or even his relatives. Are they the ones feeding him?
And by the way, op did not say the woman is looking for a husband rather the man it was who wants to marry her. Na him proposed. Make una mind una business.

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by ladyverere(f): 2:07pm On Jul 06, 2018
victorian:
Well if the man knows deep down in his heart, he cannot impregnate any woman, which means he's infertile? Then he can go ahead and marry her with her children. But if he knows he wants his own child to be born as well, through that same divorcee, then he's digging a deep hole for himself and his own unborn kids.

It's not in Nigeria, one can try such. Not even at this recent times where most people no longer appreciate anything their partner's do for them.
He's on a suicidal mission and regrets will be the end result.

That's bullshit. Do you think a mother taking care of 3 kids will be idle? I don't know where you people get the idea that in every home the husband is necessarily the breadwinner. There are many homes where the woman is the provider. I am sure if both couples are earning they will be able to take care of 5 or 6 children, even in this hard times.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by crackhaus: 2:41pm On Jul 06, 2018
bukatyne:


To marry a divorcee, you must know their story. It is not enough to say her husband was abusive. What was/is the proof? You do not want to be number two for a serial monogamist.

What striking character does she possess that makes him leave all the single ladies to marry a divorcee with three kids?

Is he financially capable to care for them? How would he feel if later, the kids refuse to accept correction from him because 'he is not their dad'?

How would he feel if three years after the marriage they are unable to conceive for whatever reason?

What happens if the wife 'loves' her first kids more than his?

So many what is that the woman must be expectional to worth it.

But again, if she was amazing... why is she divorced?
You've certainly become more of a rational thinker, I've been noticing. cheesy

As per the topic, I've always seen it this way - let single moms search for/marry single dads and vice versa, that's the only fair combination to me... anything less, then the one who already has a kid(s) from a previous marriage/relationship is being selfish even if they don't care to admit it.

That said, it still comes down to choice.
Some people just know how to fall in love carelessly, most just don't know any better.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by Flye: 2:46pm On Jul 06, 2018
ladyverere:


See, a wife is in charge of the home front. Do you expect the husband who is hustling to also be in charge of the house? You forget the children will grow up. And yes, the woman would still give him his own children. As for finance, I doubt the woman is idle. She will surely have her own means of earning a living and if she is really independent she will not burden her new husband with the care of her children.

My father has 7 children and he is currently married to a young woman. Will they not have children because my father already has 7? My aunt married a man with 5 kids, although she couldn't have her own kids the husband has been complaining of her inability to have kids. Wouldn't you say he ought to be content with his 5 children? So all these are subjective. Let him make his own decision. It concerns none of us or even his relatives. Are they the ones feeding him?
And by the way, op did not say the woman is looking for a husband rather the man it was who wants to marry her. Na him proposed. Make una mind una business.

You are seeing this thing from one angle, your father had 7 children b4 marrying another wife, your father's wife will bear another children for him but you can't compare that to a woman. Once a woman has 3 children they tends to put an end to it because of many stress they passed through, will she be willing to give the man 2 or 3 more kids.

On the other issues of finanacing we all know how it goes, most time the man takes over the responsibility.
Most financial independent women that have marital issues don't get married again because marriage itself is stressful with her 3kids it will be too much on her.
Most women who has kids and are financially capable just stays that way.

You can feel it from the OP's response that the woman is actually looking for ATM. He said since he met the woman, he has not been able to care for his mother again.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by cococandy(f): 3:28pm On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
I posted this here so that he can see how bad his plan to marry the witch is
what makes her a witch?

1 Like

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by onyekabe(m): 4:48pm On Jul 06, 2018
ladyverere:


See, a wife is in charge of the home front. Do you expect the husband who is hustling to also be in charge of the house? You forget the children will grow up. And yes, the woman would still give him his own children. As for finance, I doubt the woman is idle. She will surely have her own means of earning a living and if she is really independent she will not burden her new husband with the care of her children.

My father has 7 children and he is currently married to a young woman. Will they not have children because my father already has 7? My aunt married a man with 5 kids, although she couldn't have her own kids the husband has been complaining of her inability to have kids. Wouldn't you say he ought to be content with his 5 children? So all these are subjective. Let him make his own decision. It concerns none of us or even his relatives. Are they the ones feeding him?
And by the way, op did not say the woman is looking for a husband rather the man it was who wants to marry her. Na him proposed. Make una mind una business.
it is our business because the standards of life this bros is living has deprecated he no longer use his car he no longer supports his mother. Before he started going out with this he look fresh and and always talk about completing the uncompleted building of his father 4 months now he has never done anything for. This now live with the woman
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by onyekabe(m): 4:53pm On Jul 06, 2018
cococandy:
what makes her a witch?
I call a witch because the mother of the the boy has been neglected as I write this woman has gone to church to seek for deliverance of his son. How can someone who live comfortably drives his car suddenly not able to fuel his car
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by cococandy(f): 5:52pm On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
I call a witch because the mother of the the boy has been neglected as I write this woman has gone to church to seek for deliverance of his son. How can someone who live comfortably drives his car suddenly not able to fuel his car
so it must be the lady’s fault?
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by bukatyne(f): 6:28pm On Jul 06, 2018
crackhaus:

You've certainly become more of a rational thinker, I've been noticing. cheesy

As per the topic, I've always seen it this way - let single moms search for/marry single dads and vice versa, that's the only fair combination to me... anything less, then the one who already has a kid(s) from a previous marriage/relationship is being selfish even if they don't care to admit it.

That said, it still comes down to choice.
Some people just know how to fall in love carelessly, most just don't know any better.

I have always been rational, you are just looking beyond the bias of 'feminist' to see it.

I agree with your combo too. Let people with kids look for people with kids or divorced /widowed people. People with one kid can be seperated sha.

Again, like you said, it is all choice and people have been led to marry others with families.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by johnwell(m): 6:57pm On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
she claims that her ex is violent and a womanizer

Story for the gods, we've heard that severally. Deceptive creatures, always playing the victim
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by crackhaus: 8:49pm On Jul 06, 2018
bukatyne:


I have always been rational, you are just looking beyond the bias of 'feminist' to see it.

I agree with your combo too. Let people with kids look for people with kids or divorced /widowed people. People with one kid can be seperated sha.

Again, like you said, it is all choice and people have been led to marry others with families.
Lol, take a compliment.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by ladyverere(f): 11:21pm On Jul 06, 2018
onyekabe:
it is our business because the standards of life this bros is living has deprecated he no longer use his car he no longer supports his mother. Before he started going out with this he look fresh and and always talk about completing the uncompleted building of his father 4 months now he has never done anything for. This now live with the woman

I repeat it's his business. If he wants to go ahead none of you can stop him otherwise you won't be here canvassing for advice.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by ladyverere(f): 12:03am On Jul 07, 2018
Flye:


You are seeing this thing from one angle, your father had 7 children b4 marrying another wife, your father's wife will bear another children for him but you can't compare that to a woman. Once a woman has 3 children they tends to put an end to it because of many stress they passed through, will she be willing to give the man 2 or 3 more kids.

On the other issues of finanacing we all know how it goes, most time the man takes over the responsibility.
Most financial independent women that have marital issues don't get married again because marriage itself is stressful with her 3kids it will be too much on her.
Most women who has kids and are financially capable just stays that way.

You can feel it from the OP's response that the woman is actually looking for ATM. He said since he met the woman, he has not been able to care for his mother again.

Don't take the op word for it. He is not in the relationship with them. There may be things going on that actually have nothing to do with the lady whereas the man's family thinks otherwise. And no, women don't get tired giving birth to children unless they are career women. If the op can be objective, it is best for the man's family to sit him and really listen to him. Ask him sincere questions, not selfish and subjective ones with all of them thinking "if he marries this woman he won't give us again..."

Why am I even bothering mtshewww. Its their business biko.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by mycutiepie(f): 7:24am On Jul 07, 2018
What a question? And how can you tell a single lady is better than her?
milemimi93:
If she was that good, why was she divorce?
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by mycutiepie(f): 7:29am On Jul 07, 2018
My answer is...I do not despise single mothers but what I stand firmly for is the fact that every single mother should be able to bring something to the table (financially). As a single mother, you can't bring 100% of your three children's responsibilities on a man. As a woman, don't turn yourself or your children to liabilities.

I bet this woman is not 100% financially independent because if she is...this post will not be on nairaland.

As for your brother, he is the only one that can make the decision, this is his life not that of any family members. He has his life to live.
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by mycutiepie(f): 7:59am On Jul 07, 2018
OMG! So automatically all these are the single woman's fault?
If your so called brother was dating a young, never married lady, I bet you won't tag her a witch or blame all for whatever issues he's having today? Unbelievable! Which way Nigeria?
onyekabe:
I call a witch because the mother of the the boy has been neglected as I write this woman has gone to church to seek for deliverance of his son. How can someone who live comfortably drives his car suddenly not able to fuel his car

1 Like

Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by ikanason(m): 8:00am On Jul 07, 2018
Pearllait:



uhmmmm, I am very confused.
please can we talk about this privately. i don't knw how to send u a private msg here. thanks

Pls can we also talk privately about this the same issue.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by milemimi93(m): 8:55am On Jul 07, 2018
mycutiepie:
What a question? And how can you tell a single lady is better than her?

None of them is good. Naija women (the ones born from the 80s) are not wife materials.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by nairaland0753: 8:44pm On Jul 07, 2018
onyekabe:
I call a witch because the mother of the the boy has been neglected as I write this woman has gone to church to seek for deliverance of his son. How can someone who live comfortably drives his car suddenly not able to fuel his car


Uhmmmm. I am so sorry, my opinion may not count but I am certain that the woman in question never thought she could be divorced. no one wishes for it, some people part ways due to certain circumstances beyond their control. She doesn't deserve to be called a "WITCH" no mattet what.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by bukatyne(f): 10:04pm On Jul 07, 2018
crackhaus:

Lol, take a compliment.
Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

Oya, thanks.
Re: Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? by shaibu123: 6:20pm On Jul 08, 2018
onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.
Advice the lady to go and make peace with her husband. That's my advice

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Name A Parenting Trait From Your Parents You Would Never Emulate / In-laws Sell Widow's Shop, Want To Sell Building Secured For Her Children (pics) / Single And Be Having Children Outside Wedlock

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 94
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.