There is this guy that was really into me but he really couldnt approach me.He kept telling my friend to talk to me and she kept telling him to do so himself. That was then, he never said a word to me and we remained friends. The thing is Im beginning to like him but I dont know if he still feels the same.

His reasons for not approaching me is that he feels I really wont respect him cos I have worked as a flight attendant before and he is self-employed . I was pissed when I heard that cos I felt he wasnt confident enough to approach me.

Only way to find out is by talking to him about your feelings towards him!  Are you shy too? 

I guess I am. I dont think I could ever tell a guy how I feel about him without him first saying something. Thats the problem I am having

well you will have to employ your friend's help by having him/her find out if he is seeing someone now and then let him know that you too like him and you are waiting for him to ask you out. That should solve the problem.

by the way what does a flight attendant have to do with having respect for a potential mate i dont get it homeboy might also be feeling inferior so watch out for that because guys like that would make sure you fail so that he could be doing better than you so as to feel like a big man

Why not arrange a date?

omega25red:

well you will have to employ your friend's help by having him/her find out if he is seeing someone now and then let him know that you too like him and you are waiting for him to ask you out. That should solve the problem.

by the way what does a flight attendant have to do with having respect for a potential mate i dont get it homeboy might also be feeling inferior so watch out for that because guys like that would make sure you fail so that he could be doing better than you so as to feel like a big man

I tire o. And the thing is I lost the job over a year ago

Osama10:

Why not arrange a date?

But that would still be asking him. And I want him to do the asking

Godmother-:


But that would still be asking him. And I want him to do the asking

You not ready for a bf

Godmother-:

I guess I am. I dont think I could ever tell a guy how I feel about him without him first saying something. Thats the problem I am having

Use his method. . . . .
Get a 3rd party to do the telling in codes.

Scooby1:



You not ready for a bf

lol

Well if u can't tell him, show him. Actions speaks louder than voice or is it words?  

~Sauron~:

Use his method. . . . .
Get a 3rd party to do the telling in codes.

since he has been sending your friend to sound you out, simply give him a positive message through that same friend. case solved

Kgdavid:

since he has been sending your friend to sound you out, simply give him a positive message through that same friend. case solved

well said

This guy already has 'respect' issues if u go to him n open up, his ego will further fall, thinking u won't respect him cos it was u who came to him. DO NOT go down dat path. U can try the 3rd party tin to encourage him to come to u; dat way u allow his ego to be boosted and at the same time achieve the goal.

IMHO u should forget about dating dis guy cos as I said he has 'respect' issues. Anytime u guys have a tiff the 1st tin to come out his mouth will be "U don't respect me". Just leave him alone. He needs to deal with such issues himself or else u will bear the ugly brunt of it (especially if he turns out to be the violent type).

I wont deny that I have actually seen traces of this before ^{sighs deeply}
But I like him so much

GM, since you like him so much like you claim, go visit him or something or maybe call him up if you can.

You have to take the first step cos if he could he would have long time ago.

Many dudes have the approaching problem but you'll be amazed how much fun would come out of a convo with them.

Take this step, if you agree to take the step, then we can think of several ways of making conversation without talking. But first you need to agree to take the first step else another woman who's ready would take it

Encouraging a shy guy? Hmmm, I think if U just showed him U like having him around and U enjoy being around him would do. Smile, show excitement, voice some jealousy when there's an "intruder" in Ur midst. Talk to him a lot about anything and everything. Speak softly to him.

Lots of ways. Heading out now. Later.

Godmother-:

I guess I am. I dont think I could ever tell a guy how I feel about him without him first saying something. Thats the problem I am having

Abeg dis is the 21st century and ain't nothing wrong with you approaching someone you are into.
Offcourse we don't expect you acting a fool in front of him but just utter words like "If and when i do date, i would want my b/f to have exactly the same (list all the good qualities that he has) like you do.

jay bee:

just utter words like "If and when i do date, i would want my b/f to have exactly the same (list all the good qualities that he has) like you do.

Awww. my best phrase. tht works all the time

Be bold abt it Gm, take the bull by the horn

jay bee:

Abeg dis is the 21st century and ain't nothing wrong with you approaching someone you are into.
Offcourse we don't expect you acting a fool in front of him but just utter words like "If and when i do date, i would want my b/f to have exactly the same (list all the good qualities that he has) like you do.

Onchedu:

Encouraging a shy guy? Hmmm, I think if U just showed him U like having him around and U enjoy being around him would do. Smile, show excitement, voice some jealousy when there's an "intruder" in your midst. Talk to him a lot about anything and everything. Speak softly to him.

Lots of ways. Heading out now. Later.

I concur

this is why i like white girls they will never
hesitate whom they like.dont worry smart girl
will take over you,use your text message common!

This guy has issues o! Don'tlet tthem talk u into taking that step u'll only worsen things. Do urself a favour n let him come to u. Encourage him yeah but do not say those words. If he wants u he should speak up. Am all for liberated women n all but this case doesn't call for it.

TeeeeeLL HIM, TELL HIM THAT THE SUN AND MOON RISE IN HIS EYES;
REACH OUT TOOO HIM, AND WHHIISPER;
WHISPER WORDS SO SOFT AND SWEET, HOLD HIM CLOSE TO FEEL HIS HEART BEAT;
LOVE WILL BE D GIFT U GIVE URSELVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Love is light that surely glows, in d heart of those who know, its steady flames that groooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Feed the passionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

its usually more complicated than you think. and its easy for you to become his lover now since you two are now friends and he always wanted u. just call on him and see if you can spend time with him.

but i think this guy fit be smooth criminal. watch out. they are usually quiet but have the long dangerous thing

the guy na real mumu!

I used to be very shy until i went to the university. By the time i was done from school, I was too much. Infact, maybe I should toast a babe on nairaland soon.

What is the dude waiting for? I know a guy who was sent by his friend to toast a babe on his behalf. Hmm. My guy just decided to toast the babe for himself and today he has married and bedded the babe with a daughter to show for it.

Toasting a babe demands you go for it. How badly does a man want something? If you desire something as good as a hot babe, go for it!

wazobia-ng:

its usually more complicated than you think. and its easy for you to become his lover now since you two are now friends and he always wanted u. just call on him and see if you can spend time with him.

but i think this guy fit be smooth criminal. watch out. they are usually quiet but have the long dangerous thing

u gat ur own long dem thang, dontchya?

Onchedu:

Encouraging a shy guy? Hmmm,  I think if U just showed him U like having him around and U enjoy being around him would do. Smile, show excitement, voice some jealousy when there's an "intruder" in your midst. Talk to him a lot about anything and everything. Speak softly to him.

Lots of ways. Heading out now. Later.

Seun really ought to make a "like this" button!, . . .

@OP: you really can just go abt it in a subtle manner that doesn't give you off as desperate.

---Don't make him feel uneasy whenever he's around you

---Laugh at even his silly jokes

---Ask him to tell you a secret, then use the opportunity to ask further questions

---Tell him you'd like to go to the beach, and ask him to take you!

I think you should stalk his ass, if you cant do it physically, do it on Facebook, I think he will get the message.

why not tell your girlfriend to tell him to ask you out, even if she can come out right and tell the guy you said he should ask you out.