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My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Nigerian Lady: I Am Ugly But My Vagina Is Tighter Than Those Of Beautiful Ladies / Is It Safe To Marry A Lady I Slept With On The First Date? I’m Confused / Did I Goof? My Experience With A Lady I Love. (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by zedman1(m): 6:47am On Jul 12
Bolnij2:
I think you know there is no perfect person and even if you dump her there is no guarantee that you will get a perfect woman to replace her. Learn to understand her and what makes her to behave like that. All those asking you to leave her may not be doing you any good. Behave maturely. Women are like babies and you have to pet them. She probably needs your attention. I advise you drop your pride as a man if you want to enjoy peace in your home.
Most people who give such advise have never been in such relationships. You think its easy for the Op to walk away from the relationship? No! He's probably...... surely going through hell that's why he brought this topic up here. Mark my words, with all the advice he has gotten from here to end it, it will still be very difficult for him to leave. You telling him to stay and endure, that he might not find someone better is never a solution. Your'e making matters worse, trust me!

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Cylo117: 6:48am On Jul 12
Check my signature for steady earning.

P.S For newbies, signature can be found on my profile page which you can easily and quickly access by clicking on my name right here, just above.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by TheHottestGuy: 6:55am On Jul 12
MWTH:
THERE IS NO PERFECT WOMAN OR A MAN ELSEWHERE

Speaking from experience too, I would strongly advise that you keep to the relationship. Just ensure, you try as much as you can to always let her know your dislikes.

You should also understand that most ladies today do not have the character of our mothers. Education and exposure has changed a lot of things with our girls.
Men are no longer their small gods like it used to be with our aged parents.
Most ladies today don't believe in marriage as an important achievement in life.
They also know that, they can fend for themselves even without a permanent male folk (Husband). This is not far-fetched from the fact that, one woman will always be chased by a thousand men with luxuries. Not because they want to settle down with her, but for the fun (sex).

If you've found a woman who has all the good qualities except for her ego, please hold her tight. She's still a child.

By the time she starts giving birth, those things will vanish. If it doesn't, of course your tenderness towards her now, will definitely change when kids begin to come between both of you, because your love will be more on the kids and she would have to adjust.

And of course, once family is involved, her attitude will change as well.

My final dose......

Do your best, and keep her for tomorrow. She's a GOOD WOMAN & A WIFE TO BE.

But don't let her give you hypertension sha.
Hey, be careful marriage is not something u manage. It's for a lifetime o. If u make a mistake u r pretty much finished. If the Govt recognises the union then it's even more complex to break it up AFTER marriage. By the time kids r involved, it's even worse. If u can't cope with someone best to break it off, no big deal.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by sammirano: 6:55am On Jul 12
Untile you stand your ground, you will have to continue loosing your worth. Damn break up, if she doesn't come back to her senses then it is good riddance to bad rubbish. No time

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by freedomchild: 6:56am On Jul 12
pocohantas:




OP's relationship will definitely not survive after the advice from these two individuals. Wait for it... grin
hahaha..

you and donstan18 and co ehn....you guys make my day in this romance section
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Bimpsyyyyy: 6:56am On Jul 12
Before you breakup with her like people have said so far, call her,sit her down and tell her all that hurt you. It is called relationship and tell her you are giving her time to change, if does not change you will move on with life. Don't leave her without explanation

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by deefem81: 6:58am On Jul 12
Guy.... Your cup is not yet full bro, by d time shes ready to deal wit u, she will boil 10litres of Hot water or An aacid and will pour that on you; or she may get assorted Rat poison into your favourite food. Beta Run for your life to avoid early R.I.P
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by penearth(m): 6:59am On Jul 12
if u marry her she will stop. for now she is comparing u with someone else. her love for u is divided, she is in dilemma over two choices
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Debbieo(f): 6:59am On Jul 12
My advice to this post is that,any relationship you don't enjoy during courtship is not worth going into as marriage.marriage is more painful in this part of the world than u can imagine,run when u still have a choice. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by isaac1885: 7:06am On Jul 12
My opinion bro. Please don't give up yet. You may be someone who God is going to use to end this attitude.

I know it won't come easy. Try to make her happy always and during that moment pour out your mind in lovely way. Let her understand how much you love her and what you see (the bad side) in her and the consequences in the relationship.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ak2fyn(m): 7:08am On Jul 12
My brothers, You love her accepted, but in our dear country today, wen u marry a wife, she isn't your wife alone, she is a daughter to your parents, a mother to your siblings, and a 'wife' to your other relatives. imagine if it's one of these people that corrects her, and they will do, because she will definitely do something that is not done amongst your people or family, the what happens, she start keeping malice and disrespecting your mum, then your mum complains to dad, dad talks to her, she start putting up an attitude to dad, then other sibling's wife's.... are you getting the picture, you will become an unhappy man,
pls and pls, next time you talk to her, let her know her ego, lack of humility and inability to apologise (abi dem mean desame tin self) is what is standing between your relationship, watch and see if she's not changing and call it quits. better a failed relationship than a failed marriage.
God bless you

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Orobotobado: 7:11am On Jul 12
delugajackson:
You are dating a woman with so much ego and such woman will never make a good wife. Truth is, you can never control a woman with so much ego. If she can't apologize for little things, then she has no business being in a relationship. Take my word, she has little or no respect for you. The only reason she is with you up till this moment is because she is gaining from you, once she fulfills her aim of running you down, she will leave your áss for good.

I suggest you look for someone else with better attitude, character and finesse that will make life worth living for you, cause once you marry this particular girl, you will experience x2 of what you're suffering now. She will offer you a lifetime of misery! Who wants a stubborn, nagging, disrespectful woman with an over-bloated ego as a wife?

You need to re-consider this cause it seems you're gradually becoming a victim of emotional deficit. And the hard truth is that you both are not meant for each other.


Such captivating wisdom. I honestly have falling in love with the level of this wise strong words!
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ohidata: 7:16am On Jul 12
pocohantas:


So, are you (still) single now? smiley

Yes
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by isybeke(f): 7:16am On Jul 12
Don't beg her dis time, ignore her totally nd see if she will calm herself nd make peace but if she didn't then tell her u are tired of her attitude nd break up with her

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Twagrill(m): 7:20am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all
i don't think you can cope with her attitude with what you wrote here, so it's better you quit.
Try talking to her about your issues with her.
i believe in marriage, you both have to contribute to it to make a good one. And Where there is no passion it's not possible. When there is passion, you would want to do everything to make it possible. And with what i see, here she's not ready for that.
So please find another gf.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by igbodefender: 7:21am On Jul 12
biafraisdead:

By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.
Great question. Did you find out the answer?
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by buchilla: 7:23am On Jul 12
I wonder what she will turn to if you eventually marry that kind of a person. I hate keeping malice and holding grudges. Oga, you should thank your God that the young lady is exhibiting the unacceptable characters now she has not come into your home as a wife. I believe that any woman who is not ready to apologize or show remorse when she made mistakes or went astray is not ready for marriage and cannot make a good wife. The Bible said that a woman should be under her Husband: U need to act like a Man, don't allow her to exploit you again with such drama,take charge, be in control. If she does not wanna change,please,I advise you to take that drastic decision you are finding difficult to take since it is not too late because if you go into marriage coming out of it will not be easy.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Slazim: 7:24am On Jul 12
@OP, you need to thread cautiously, have you ever thought of what her reaction would be if someone like your mum tried to correct her? The effect might not be palatable.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Ohidata: 7:29am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

You have to ask yourself one basic question, can u survive her current behaviour if you were both married? You have your answer. Men and women have to love with their senses intact. It is for similar reasons that there are lots of failed marriages these days. People see attributes in their partners that they clearly cannot cope with but they go ahead and marry the person anyway - it's only a matter of time before the fallout occurs. Please don't make a yourself a victim of this.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by 24biznes: 7:29am On Jul 12
talk to her, have a deep conversation wif her nd chat me up later
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Keneeby(m): 7:30am On Jul 12
ojoj:
My brother, it's natural. She needs a re assurance. Most of us are wired that way. Women are like kids. When you rebuked them, you need to bring them back to reassure them. Even we that have been married for a lot of years, our wives behave that way. Even mine, will pass by you in the house a d tried as much as possible not to let a little part of her body touch you.
Please roll with her since she has scaled about 70% of the qualities you want in a lady. Please manage her. When you rebuked her, bring her back and tell her you love her. With time, she will do it less. It is well.

Manage her? are you normal? according to OP she had never say sorry before. Receive sense my bros.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Marcel6070: 7:33am On Jul 12
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.
grin
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Marcel6070: 7:39am On Jul 12
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by SOPAW: 7:46am On Jul 12
For your sake i signed up in this forum. My advice is flowing from the first response you got underneath your post--which urged you to discontinue with the relationship.

Your post about the girl you want to marry is very striking, it's a perfect description of my wife of 9 years, whose 'i don't care attitude' has caused me my worth as a man; up until today I've not stopped thinking of divorce and how to go about raising my kids single-handedly.
Take my advice, leave her as fast as you can, and build a relationship with a woman who would welcome your chastisements with gladness. The easiest way to kill a man is to strip him off control and authority! If that happens to you, you might not survive the complications that would follow such as stress and high blood pressure.

What you are seeing now is just a tip of the ice berg. By the time you marry her, and she bear a child, you would be surprised at what she would become; she doesn't love you, your money is providing the comfort she needs. Remember, she might not cheat on you but she would make sure you are reduced to nothingness.

I am a daredevil person, i take a lot of risks, otherwise I would not have married my partner. Today, I've lost self-worth, happiness and drive; which are the essentials that keeps a man going; that is why i said I've not stopped thinking of a divorce...

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by akinszz: 7:46am On Jul 12
gabpaul:

Same Girl...same Girl.. grin
T pain grin
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Tvegas(m): 7:47am On Jul 12
Just one word for you.

LEAVE

The love you have for her can be replicated elsewhere. Whoever you spend your time, your energy and your money on will eventually be your love.

I have seen this scenario before if you marry that girl its going to be a disaster for you. The couple i knew had done engagement but the boy had brain to pull out after counselling because he was emotionally drained. He stayed that long because he was more concerned about what people will say. The girl would never apologise ,she picks on things etc.

You are not God to change people so she may never change o. She may need more time to mature or she may need to lose this relationship to rethink her ways. Once again i beg you leave her. Just open your eyes and give yourself time there are plenty fishes in the ocean.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Mutemenot(m): 7:48am On Jul 12
There's no perfect relationship but it's very Important to have one with he or she who's ready n willing to accept and apologise when at fault. Keeping malice is the easiest way to kill relationship.
Op, confront her with the facts, if she persist pls change gear

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by paulsan(m): 7:48am On Jul 12
Take it easy on yourself, you have tried so much but is not working so do you need to suffer morethan this again? Bros there are alot of good women wanting same opportunity and people of your kind. Just keep looking and with time a good one will come.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by ojoj(m): 7:50am On Jul 12
Op I have said it before and I will say it again, those that are saying you should send her away are not experienced and maybe just started their marriage. Please and please don't send her away. She has scaled your marriage consideration except this matter you are talking about. If you leave her, do you know what the next lady will do? My brother let me tell you one fact, you cannot get a lady with 100% but if a lady scales 60%, that is Ok. You too, do you think you don't have your faults?
I am about 15yrs into my marriage, my wife is the best woman I can see. She is the best for me but she has her weakness too but I am rolling with her with love and happiness.
Our elders will say A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. Keep that lady.
I wish you all the best in your decision.

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by SlimBrawnie(f): 8:03am On Jul 12
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

Before you eventually break up with her, I want you to do something please, next time she does something wrong, laugh, smile and jokingly tell her, tease her in the process of correcting her, try not to be rude. I used to be like her, and maybe I'm still like her but not towards my partner anymore... I hate it when someone corrects me rudely, with a loud voice, shouts at me or with a stern face...it could even make me cry. Imagine it was someone like Basket mouth or Bovi trying to tell his wife to close the toilet door, she will definitely find herself laughing while closing it because of the humour attached to the correction, and in cases where she is at fault and you are angry, always let her know that she doesn't need to defend herself but say a simple "I am sorry"...with time it will sink into her brain and she'd find herself apologizing especially when you are angry. If she doesn't love you, then all these won't work. It worked for me, and surprisingly, I and my partner hardly remember any offense now compared to when we were dating and wanted to kill ourselves our minor misunderstandings. We laugh and joke over almost everything while taking corrections. All the best

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Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Sanchase: 8:05am On Jul 12
If you are the one paying the bills, dump her stupid ass and pick up a better slut !

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