Real talk...Gosh i can sit on my ass and watch you speak!!! Brava

CAPSLOCKED:



STICK AROUND DOING WHAT? CONTRIBUTING TO A MAN'S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT OR EXTORTING FROM HIM WHILE THREATENING TO LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE BETTER?
PLEASE.




IT'S FUNNY THOUGH. GIFTS AND ENDLESS PRAISES FOR STICKING WITH ME WHEN I HAD NOTHING? LOL. I HAD NOTHING BUT I PAY FOR YOUR HAIR AND SUB. I GOT YOU HANDOUTS AND CLOTHES AND SOMETIMES ADDED TO YOUR SCHOOL FEES AND ENSURED YOU FED WELL. I'M NOT THE PERSON WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING THANK YOU, WHEN ALL YOU DID WAS PLACE ME IN CHARGE OF YOUR SURVIVAL.


2 BROKE PEOPLE. STRUGGLING TO MAKE MONEY.
AFTER SOME TIME THE MAN GETS A SOURCE OF GETTING MONEY..
THE WOMAN SHOULD CONGRATULATE AND CELEBRATE THE MAN FOR BEING A BETTER ADULT AND STEPPING UP TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING WHEN ALL SHE DID IN THE PREVIOUS YEARS WAS LAY AROUND, FOLLOW FASHION TRENDS AND ENGAGE WITH OTHER TOASTERS ON FACEBOOK PRAYING THAT ONE OF THEM WOULD CONVINCE HER TO ABANDON HER BOYFRIEND.

NOBODY IS IRREPLACEABLE. PERSONALLY I'VE GONE THROUGH A LOT TO REALIZE STRESSING TOO MUCH OVER PEOPLE IS NOT WORTH IT. THEY GON LEAVE YOUR SORRY ASŚ JUST THE WAY THEY CAME.
I CAN'T BE THANKING ANYONE FOR BEING WITH ME IF I CANNOT FIND THE POSITIVITY THEY ADDED TO MY LIFE.

IT'S QUITE LAUGHABLE THAT COOKING, CLEANING, AND SEX ARE WHAT SOME PEOPLE COUNT AS CONTRIBUTIONS TO A MAN'S LIFE WHEN HE WAS BROKE.
IF THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GETTING FROM YOUR PARTNER THEN YOU'RE LOSING NIL TO ONE MILLION.

A man rewarding his wife/gf because she stuck with him when he was broke is neither right nor wrong....it is foolish period.

well, my own has turned down rich suitors coz of me and is also supporting me from her business money though I do payback. she try and needs to be rewarded

zicoraads:
Why do guys think it normal to 'reward' ladies who dated them when they were not rich? I don't get it, was she doing you a favour by being in a relationship with you?

It has become commonplace to read about rewards, car gifts especially, purchased by guys as rewards for ladies who they were in a relationship with when they were poor. I think in constantly doing that, guys are making it look abnormal, the idea, that a lady is supposed to stick with her man, come rain or shine.

She wasn't doing you a favour by being in a relationship with you. No one is doing you a favour by being in one with you now. Whether it ended or not, you owe her nothing for that period the both of you were dating.

Guys should stop making it seem like dating a particular lady is a privilege they don't deserve.

I don't see it as a reward, I see it as a form of appreciation. Even amongst friends, one hardly sees one that will stick to him through difficult times, so there's nothing bad if a guy appreciates a lady who does and vice versa.

perfectface:
this is so sad! How do you even get off thinking this way. Someone stuck around with you when every dumped you and now things are alright , you now finally start using your brain! reasoning all of a sudden because of a change in lifestyle. Am sure u guys talked alot about how you will spoil her once things got better, now you u can't even stand the thought. Cruelty in African men is appalling.

Buying her gifts because you are in love with her is a better reason than because she was with you while you had nothing. It shouldn't be a REWARD but something than comes without a compulsory status

safarigirl:
you are a child mentally, that is why you are running your mouth with reckless abandon.


I don't know if your mother and your sisters are all prostitutes, but I can assure ou now that we are not all like the women in your family.

Some of us have values and we also will not allow small boys insult the entire female population of this country because they may or may not have encountered these leeches.


I don't know who fu-cked you up, but it is unhealthy to take out your anger on all Nigerian women. It is not as if Nigerian men are loyal anyway


BTW: I don't know anything about the oga and his ex, I am speaking from a general viewpoint, not from one incident. And, sometimes, a person will leave you not because you have done wrong, but because they realise they are holding you back and they want the best for you. Not all broken relationships have negativity attached to them.

BTW: Many people have progressed in this life without a woman, just like many women have progressed without a man.....but I can tell you this, there are more successful women who have no man than successful men who have no woman


Good luck with your life.

woman, try and go through that last statement once again with with your brain in active mode.

Total rubbish... Give me names of African ladies that became successful without a man...

naijacentric:
mumu

Ewu awusa ezi okwu na agbagba na nti.....shoir ogbenye onu ntu

missjane:
I will like to ask the poster..if u as a guy had a friend a fellow guy who was really close to u maybe as a student or as job seeker n he stayed n assisted u from his heart, both of u were there for each other. Somehow he gets a very big job or contract n decides to buy a range rover for his guy for loyalty of friendship all those rough years..there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, if it can be done for an ordinary friend it can be done for a spouse to be too..
In this age where no one can be trusted n everyone is all about class etc it takes one with a heart of gold to stick to someone who had almost nothing to offer, you keep encouraging the guy that things will be better etc..such inputs some guys can't forget it when they make it especially when they remb the multitude that actually turned their backs on them..
The thank u gifts are a way of making those that left on time to regret their lives n be more considerate next time..
Pls if you did not make the money for some one or someone didn't borrow money from u to buy the gifts or u, never you open your mouth to bash any gift anyone decides to get for another person. You can reject your own gift if n when ever it comes..

nice point

You so nailed it. If only most people can reason this way...

donstan18:
First; There's nothing like a lady who stuck with you when you were poor, rather say "Partners who stuck with themselves when they were poor".

To your post.

Reward is a valuable prize given in return for an act or deed.

Reason why such rare ladies are rewarded is because Nigerian ladies date for money, relationship is like a job opportunity to them and an avenue for them to escape poverty, they go in a relationship for money which is one of the reasons they'll continue to be seen as write-off as long as relationship is concerned.

Don't blame them anyway. Prostitutes don't joke with their money.

The only set of female exes that should be rewarded if necessary are those set of ladies who contributed to your struggles and wealth when you had nothing.



Calling you a fool will be an insult to fools out there.

You as a lady who sees it as a favor to date a struggling man, who's your father? what do you have? What are you offering?
Are you not struggling?

Well, what do we expect from a society where women disguise as girlfriends to carry out their prostitution works.

donstan18:
First; There's nothing like a lady who stuck with you when you were poor, rather say "Partners who stuck with themselves when they were poor".

To your post.

Reward is a valuable prize given in return for an act or deed.

Reason why such rare ladies are rewarded is because Nigerian ladies date for money, relationship is like a job opportunity to them and an avenue for them to escape poverty, they go in a relationship for money which is one of the reasons they'll continue to be seen as write-off as long as relationship is concerned.

Don't blame them anyway. Prostitutes don't joke with their money.

The only set of female exes that should be rewarded if necessary are those set of ladies who contributed to your struggles and wealth when you had nothing.



Calling you a fool will be an insult to fools out there.

You as a lady who sees it as a favor to date a struggling man, who's your father? what do you have? What are you offering?
Are you not struggling?

Well, what do we expect from a society where women disguise as girlfriends to carry out their prostitution works.

Am not sure you are a woman(Talk more of Nigerian or Africa) I am greatly astonished by how critically you think...

That was an uncommon out of the box thought, i love you for this...

jimcaddy:
Walahi bros abeg three Orijin for you there. Your head dey there. I still don't get. What law of any constitution states that a girl is supposed to date a man just because she will be doing him a favour? The way girls have made guys to be thinking like mad men ehn. Girls do not know the reason why they are dating. They are just there for what they stand to gain. In Nigeria, marriage should be more or less called a business contract between a man and a woman

@chi59

Did you just see what this guy posted?

I told you it's better people (most especially men) start seeing marriage as a business venture and you are telling me it's all about love and all that.

Well, I'm so glad someone else shares my opinion on that marriage of a thing.

By the way, I like this your picture very much.

You look so sharp and bright in it... even though the usual smile has gone.

CanineOfJackal:
I graduated twelve years ago and I've had my fair share of relationship and other intricacies of life so I will reaffirm to you again that there is no reward to give from an old relationship.


Relationship should be about Love not pity

Supu o'gbagbuo GI biko....

emelda86:


Ewu awusa ezi okwu na agbagba na nti.....shoir ogbenye onu ntu

anufia was dis na u well so

Opinions here are funny.....why do guys see ladies that stay with them as desperate and the one that leaves as callous.......if God rewards us for being faithful in things that we do then how come as humans we can't reciprocate........appreciate people you will make more in life......more importantly appreciate people that stood by you to get to the top......my opinion though

see how most of the ladies here are just spewing trash...lesson here, don't date someone out of pity.. because it will haunt you sooner than later

victorian:












God bless you

Don't mind the senseless guys in this forum talking trash about not appreciating the woman who stood by them. Last last with all their money on the long run, they will still be lonely and miserable. I know quite a number of well to do guys who live empty life's. Very empty I tell you. No woman to call their own.. I just pity such men these days.

U wish. who told u they re lonely & miserable, I want to let u know that re not ready to give up their wealth for any woman dead or alive, don't worry I know what is going in ur mind u wish u identified with them when they were still struggling so as to fill the vacuum that is why u think they re lonely,let me tell u what u don't know about these guys,they re always thinking of the money move they 'll make so as to add to the millions they re already swimming in.that is why u always think in their time of solitude that re miserable.

1234IKECHhukwu:
U wish. who told u they re lonely & miserable, I want to let u know that re not ready to give up their wealth for any woman dead or alive, don't worry I know what is going in ur mind u wish u identified with them when they were still struggling so as to fill the vacuum that is why u think they re lonely,let me tell u what u don't know about these guys,they re always thinking of the money move they 'll make so as to add to the millions they re already swimming in.that is why u always think in their time of solitude that re miserable.

Sorry to burst your bubble, with all sense of humility : Am self made , I own two companies ( a group of companies and another pet company I opened years back) , I own cars and few properties here and there all by God's favour and grace , I won't mention the cities, then lastly am in loving stable relationship with a grounded and matured man who knows the value of a good woman in his life.. He's also comfortable as well with a heart of gold.
So guy! Don't get it twisted, nothing on earth will make me date any of those emotionally empty comfortable guys on nairaland. I don't need any of them or whatever millions they think they have.
God forbid our path even cross. Our paths will never cross, and so shall it be! So don't even go there.

Group of companies and another pet company hahaha. Only on Nairaland. The dream is free biko. Make una enjoy.

Some men value peace of mind than to invite one strange woman into their lives that will turn everywhere upside down. I thank God our numbers are growing.

Like someone said, go make your own money then we meet up at SUCCESS CUISINE. No freeloaders here!

ibkayee:



I guess in a world where females place a high importance on the status & resources of their partner, they’re just appreciating the ones who weren’t so hung up on it and valued them as a person enough to stay.

Only time I think they ‘deserve’ it though is if they were actually instrumental in his success in some way. Otherwise, they don’t ‘deserve’ it per se in my opinion, but I guess it’s just a personal gesture of appreciation for a kind of ‘loyalty’ that isn’t commonplace

To see a Nairaland lady with this type of thinking is rare. In short, you deserve 2 bottles of orijin now and a Porsche when your bf hammer.

safarigirl:
Recently, George Clooney rewarded his friends with a million dollars.

Why did he reward them? Were they doing him a favour being his friends even before he became a big star?

Anyone who stuck to you in your trying times deserves to be rewarded. If you have ever had a period in your life when you were down and you needed someone and the whole world abandoned you, leaving you with just one person who stuck by you, none of you would come here to make such ignorant statement about why men reward the women who stick by them

Do you know their story? Do you know if these women helped them financially? Do you know how many of these men may have been close to suicide and the woman was the only reason they didn't off themselves? People who kill themselves, you think they would have done that if someone listened to them when they were down and gave them hope?

None of you has obviously been down and out, at that point in life that you become a caricature to everyone, including supposed friends and family, because if you have been there, walahi, if you can, you go even buy Banana Island house for the person that held your hand when you were slipping into darkness.

If you know how many girls feed guys in school, you will not come here and ask a question as silly as "Did she do him a favour?" Yes! She fed him when he had no food, she gave him words of encouragement when he had no hope, she stood by him when he had no support. She took insults from friends and colleagues because she was the 'stupid' girl who was following the broke boy

What is a car compared to years of sacrifice and insult? What is the worth of a car? Do you think a car is even enough to repay someone for being the reason why you were even alive to get these riches?


Like I said, let me attribute this talk to common Ignorance. When you are broke and hopeless and only one person has your back, you will understand the men you think are senseless

Really, you have said well and your words really changed my perception on the subject matter. But I have some objections to raise as regards what you said.
1. How many girls are really sticking with their boyfriends during their struggling times. What are these girls bringing to the relationship then? Money, Food, advice, words of encouragement, total submission to their bf? Most ladies will only say they stood behind their man while he was struggling because of the free sex they gave him. Ask them which other way they stood by him and they go blank. Do the ladies in this category also have the right to say they stood by their bfs?
2. Even if a lady actually stood by her bf by giving all her best in the relationship, she shouldn't feel any sense of entitlement or expecting to be paid back cos the husband is now made. IMO, I expect her to work more on building a successful family rather than expecting a form of appreciation from her husband. If the husband gives her, which I believe a rational man should do, all well and good.

All these talk sef..the thing is that all the guys that have done really nice things for their exes and gf's didn't say the ladies asked for it.they do it to show appreciation..so I don't get d 'girls feel entitled' issue here.

CAPSLOCKED:



STICK AROUND DOING WHAT? CONTRIBUTING TO A MAN'S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT OR EXTORTING FROM HIM WHILE THREATENING TO LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE BETTER?
PLEASE.




IT'S FUNNY THOUGH. GIFTS AND ENDLESS PRAISES FOR STICKING WITH ME WHEN I HAD NOTHING? LOL. I HAD NOTHING BUT I PAY FOR YOUR HAIR AND SUB. I GOT YOU HANDOUTS AND CLOTHES AND SOMETIMES ADDED TO YOUR SCHOOL FEES AND ENSURED YOU FED WELL. I'M NOT THE PERSON WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING THANK YOU, WHEN ALL YOU DID WAS PLACE ME IN CHARGE OF YOUR SURVIVAL.


2 BROKE PEOPLE. STRUGGLING TO MAKE MONEY.
AFTER SOME TIME THE MAN GETS A SOURCE OF GETTING MONEY..
THE WOMAN SHOULD CONGRATULATE AND CELEBRATE THE MAN FOR BEING A BETTER ADULT AND STEPPING UP TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING WHEN ALL SHE DID IN THE PREVIOUS YEARS WAS LAY AROUND, FOLLOW FASHION TRENDS AND ENGAGE WITH OTHER TOASTERS ON FACEBOOK PRAYING THAT ONE OF THEM WOULD CONVINCE HER TO ABANDON HER BOYFRIEND.

NOBODY IS IRREPLACEABLE. PERSONALLY I'VE GONE THROUGH A LOT TO REALIZE STRESSING TOO MUCH OVER PEOPLE IS NOT WORTH IT. THEY GON LEAVE YOUR SORRY ASŚ JUST THE WAY THEY CAME.
I CAN'T BE THANKING ANYONE FOR BEING WITH ME IF I CANNOT FIND THE POSITIVITY THEY ADDED TO MY LIFE.

IT'S QUITE LAUGHABLE THAT COOKING, CLEANING, AND SEX ARE WHAT SOME PEOPLE COUNT AS CONTRIBUTIONS TO A MAN'S LIFE WHEN HE WAS BROKE.
IF THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GETTING FROM YOUR PARTNER THEN YOU'RE LOSING NIL TO ONE MILLION.

No be lie.

mgtow:
Group of companies and another pet company hahaha. Only on Nairaland. The dream is free biko. Make una enjoy.

Some men value peace of mind than to invite one strange woman into their lives that will turn everywhere upside down. I thank God our numbers are growing.

Like someone said, go make your own money then we meet up at SUCCESS CUISINE. No freeloaders here!

Very funny.

1234IKECHhukwu:
U wish. who told u they re lonely & miserable, I want to let u know that re not ready to give up their wealth for any woman dead or alive, don't worry I know what is going in ur mind u wish u identified with them when they were still struggling so as to fill the vacuum that is why u think they re lonely,let me tell u what u don't know about these guys,they re always thinking of the money move they 'll make so as to add to the millions they re already swimming in.that is why u always think in their time of solitude that re miserable.

The matter tire me. How can she say a man is miserable when he has enough cash to have plenty women at his call? Where is the loneliest if ladies are practically moaning to be with him to atleast get a share of him? Some of these women are simply delusional. How many poor men are very lonely even in thesame bed with their wife just because of poverty? A man just needs to make money and issue of women is a constant. Many rich guys marry to meet societal standards, for convenience, continuity, goodness sake or if the woman gives him enough reason to marry her by her doings not to cure loneliness when money can buy even 3 woman by his side every day.

mgtow:


Now this kind of appreciation is laudable as most women would still ask "What did you even do for me sef?" despite all that. But you changed her life, so why shouldn't she send you 3000$? The money can't even compare to what you did for her so this is a good instance of genuine appreciation.

Nigerian women are generally very stingy biko. Na wetin dey pain guys be that.

Personally, cooking and cleaning isn't a favour to me as I can cook or eat out if I want or look for some random pùssy to fùck. And I don't need a woman's prayers too so she can keep her prayers to herself.

Contributions of the average Nigerian woman in her man's life: cooking, cleaning, prayers and 'advise'.

Shioor!!!

And the man has to buy her a car for that (even if the advice na good or bad one) ....otherwise ...lol....phony orientation.

Hanseel1:


When a guy date a broke girl, should he be rewarded for dating the girl despite her terrible status?

Or is the rewarding not applicable to females?

Lol... is that what it is?

The answer depends on what she was doing while being stuck to the broke guy
-Was she contributing positively to uplifting and making him successful? Or was
she tapping the little he had, threatening, loathing or nagging around while waiting for the guy to done?

Iamgrey5:
Although I am Yoruba, I have to clearly state that I have never heard of such proverb before. Regardless, I understand what you are trying to say, but the proverb wasn't made with the social media in mind. We are going through a different time.

Lols u are a Yoruba but haven't hear about that proverb



Anyway as u said everyone have a differents view!

babyfaceafrica:
experience is the best teacher

Yes but you know some things does not require experience before you know the real fact about it!! E.g telling a person not should touch a fire because it might hurt, 2 death

Na, not quite. Without. going into a tirade let me ask you this question; you do not do God a favor when you do what He says, but it's in order to expect approval from Him. That approval could come in various ways including material blessings. Am I right? See, what you see as 'favour' I see as appreciation. It's very very good and commendable not to mention it sets an example, encourages the hesitant woman and inspires the young. It's not called 'reward' it's called 'appreciation' even though I still think it's right even as a reward. Yes, she's not doing you a favor by sticking with you but she has definitely shown a commendable trait that should be appreciated or 'rewarded', whatever name you wish to call it.

ShakurM:

Thats another point of discussion. I'm providing for my wife, we are for each other, don't question that for one sec.           

Ok o.

Funkybabee:


Yes but you know some things does not require experience before you know the real fact about it!! E.g telling a person not should touch a fire because it might hurt, 2 death

I have been following how Iamgrey5 and babyfaceafrica are trying to let you understand what you read, with objective mind. However, you seem to be bent on allowing the viewpoints expressed here to affect you so much as to affect your attitude towards men.
As we go about our daily living, our brain is constantly bombarded with so many inputs from TV, from the papers, from videos, from friends, family, online and in real life. These inputs could affect us positively or negatively. It is our responsibility to choose to accept and allow into our brains only the inputs that will generate within us, positive attitude towards life and ignore those that will generate negative attitude within us. And our attitude towards life, in turn, determines the experiences we would be having.
If you have a positive attitude towards life, even if a negatively minded, self-centered individual enters into your life, the person cannot stay for long. Because the two of you will not sync. That is, if you maintain a positive attitude.

That's why it's important not to accept and allow any trash you are reading here enter into your brain and let it affect your attitude towards life.