People who marry from same tribe or religion still get depressed, have social problems, are often greedy, still feel unhappy and all the rest.

"You're making a mistake!" they say.

On what? It's obviously not going to provide any special real fullfillment or permanent closure to marriage issues.

It's very unwise to glorify religion and tribe.

donstan18:
Families can only destroy a marriage of weak and unintelligent couples.


If your marriage get destroyed by your family, you are a fool and should be held responsible for allowing a third party destroy your marriage or joy.


If you know your stand in your marriage, your parents will know their boundary.

you are obviously not married. How will you react if you see your mum crying in her room and she says your wife abused her? How will you react when your wife gets angry because you believed your mother over her? How will you react when your father calls your in-law and tell them how your wife abused his wife even when she didn't? don't under estimate the role of family in your marriage bro, even marrriage counsellors divorce when the pressure of family is too much

Ukalejohn:
What about religion? You can't marry a girl because she's a Muslim and you're a Christian

Mehn, the religion thing is even worse but truth be told it's kind of difficult to be with someone with diff thought process and mindset.

No try religion at all at all. Muslim marry Muslim, Christian marry Christian

X

Marriage is meant for Man and Woman not Boys and Girls !!!

Well said��

Sincerely, that's how it happens in the society we found ourselves.
Our forefathers have laid down a bad precedent.

I can recall a lady I tried to hook up with a guy who happens to be an ebira guy from kogi. She just cut the story short that her parent doesn't want her to marry ebira.

My ex-fiancee's family rejected me because am a pastor.The father of the girl told me that he won't approve o f the marriage because pastots don't have money,that I can't take care

If u want ur in laws to hate you! Marry their breadwinner!... African proverb!

These things are real. Some of the advice are better followed than marry and looking to divorce afterward. Lets not deceive ourself a strong muslim cannot succesfully live with a strong Christian.

Funny but true

dopemama:
If u want ur in laws to hate you! Marry their breadwinner!... African proverb!

marry your choice and also remember to use your head when falling in love

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babyfaceafrica:
you have not met some very strict parents.....very rigid...even if you are 40..they won't shift post.

No matter how strict they are they'll grudgingly get rid of you

Don't struggle alone when there's someone to help out.

subtlemee:


No matter how strict they are they'll grudgingly get rid of you

lolz..that is if they are poor..the rih don't care

baddosky1:


The only time she will settle with the Ebuka is if he is Stupendously rich!

Yimu even if he is richer than dangote walahi my papa will send d both of em out either stylishly or annoyingly.

ibadan girls truly like money too much. they can run u dry and still be looking for someone better. But truth must be said, we have too many issues in our cultures and traditions. too many believes.
I remember well, my aunt once told me never to marry anyone from ogun state, that the girls are very fetish, i ended up loosing a very good and promising lady and went for one skinny ibadan babe, my brother, after spending so much, doing all my best to make things work, three years relationship, she just find one excuse to leave so she could find another dummy who will be spending on her. bros, i nearly cry.

Priscy01:
Read his instructive writeup and share your thoughts;
"Nigerian families destroyed most marriages Shar..
From tribe, to jealousy, to insecurity.. it's terrible..
A sister feels her brother is being jazzed by his wife because he bought her a car..
But she's keeping malice with her own husband because he hasn't done same for her

Most mother's want to overwork your wife to be to see if she's the one for you.. but be quick to advice her own daughter not to let her in-laws use her as a servant.. why ?

A father believes his son should be constantly sending him money not considering the fact that he has his own family to cater for.. and eventually when he doesn't have to give, they go with the narrative that he's spending on the in-laws more.. then the bad blood starts rolling

Families will tell their male kids not to marry a poor girl that doesn't have anything she's doing.. same families will caution their jobless daughter to only marry a rich man that can take care of her very well..why's that ?

A Yoruba girl would rather settle for a TUNDE with four to five girlfriends than an EBUKA who is a proper loyal gentleman, because she's has the orientation that nothing good will come out from dating the latter.. it's more like a song for them when they were younger. Tribe!!!

Every other family is not clean.. you'll take their names to several pastors for prayer before you decide if they can marry your child.. but did you equally take names of your own family members ?

In my town, we were made to believe that all ESAN people are witches and troublesome, that we can't marry them.. hardly will you see a delta man who's married to an ESAN woman. Hardly.. my same people dislike igbo's because they believe they're ritualists.. but what re we ?

Some families even see churches as an obstacle.. they're redeemed we re Catholic.. we can't marry them.. i mean.. isn't it the same God ?.. someone said to his son, even if it's an slowpoke I don't mind as long as she's from our town.. LoL. Really ?

Me for one never really cared about anyone I settled with.. as long as she brings me peace and makes me happy.. be her Yoruba, Igbo, efik, Tiv or idoma.. even igala and ebira.. but the family factor always plays in my head.. it's terrible. �

One of my best relationship was from a Kaduna girl.. about 4yrs older than me... Her name was arashiiaa.. she was near perfect, matured and peaceful.. the day I told my uncles about her was the day they talked me out of the relationship.. we no go fit go that side they said �

-dem too dey spoil.. she old pass you sef. Abeg go fine better girl.. everyone had flaws but us.. now If u decide to say Bleep all and go against them.. the world will turn on you when life goes south on issues which aren't even relating.. smh"

https://www.torimill.com/2018/07/man-writes-on-how-some-families-have-destroyed-the-marriages-of-their-loved-ones.html

Very true my Brother but it all depends on us either to take this shit or not. When my mum started seeing girls outside her spec visiting me, together with her husband started shame-calling the girls' tribes, family history or region. I had to surmon the both of them for a meeting where i made it clear that the sentiment shit they are talking about can not and does not apply to me. Whoever and whereever my love is and come from provided we are of same religious and personal ideology - boom! i will wife her. They started justifying their concerns to the extent of saying "the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know". I said "Mum, Dad, i am no marrying any devil, worst case if i know she is one. I will take my chances at finding that angel i do not know". Case close, no one pressures me anymore.
One of the very reasons many buckle to this balckmail is fear of being cut off from the family. Go and succeed, damn them respectfully, and na them go come look for you later. Don't worry about that dream exotic wedding you want them to sponsor, you can do that much later when they come back to you.
Cheers

donstan18:
Families can only destroy a marriage of weak and unintelligent couples.


If your marriage get destroyed by your family, you are a fool and should be held responsible for allowing a third party destroy your marriage or joy.


If you know your stand in your marriage, your parents will know their boundary.

Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!

dopemama:
If u want ur in laws to hate you! Marry their breadwinner!... African proverb!

Words.

BabbanBura:


Very true my Brother but it all depends on us either to take this shit or not. When my mum started seeing girls outside her spec visiting me, together with her husband started shame-calling the girls' tribes, family history or region. I had to surmon the both of them for a meeting where i made it clear that the sentiment shit they are talking about can not and does not apply to me. Whoever and whereever my love is and come from provided we are of same religious and personal ideology - boom! i will wife her. They started justifying their concerns to the extent of saying "the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know". I said "Mum, Dad, i am no marrying any devil, worst case if i know she is one. I will take my chances at finding that angel i do not know". Case close, no one pressures me anymore.
One of the very reasons many buckle to this balckmail is fear of being cut off from the family. Go and succeed, damn them respectfully, and na them go come look for you later. Don't worry about that dream exotic wedding you want them to sponsor, you can do that much later when they come back to you.
Cheers

Thank You!

Entitlement mentality of ladies too has ruined more unions

Clonus:
When problems arise in a marriage, relatives are so in a hurry to take sides further dividing the couple.
Some are so quick to encourage the lady to leave him and come back to the house only to start chasing her again after six months: go back to your husband's house.

You're absolutely correct.

donstan18:
Families can only destroy a marriage of weak and unintelligent couples.


If your marriage get destroyed by your family, you are a fool and should be held responsible for allowing a third party destroy your marriage or joy.


If you know your stand in your marriage, your parents will know their boundary.

From your comment, I assume you may not be married.

Your assertion is not totally correct. You must realize that marriage involves two people. Many marriages broken as a result of third party interference, has never been the fault of BOTH couple.

Imagine where the wife is always been controlled by the mother. So, can you blame the breakdown of such a marriage in the man?

Only very few ladies whose mothers are alive, are able to ward off the cord of control. Most see it as their mother being too caring about them.

post=69538593:
A Yoruba girl would rather settle for a TUNDE with four to five girlfriends than an EBUKA who is a proper loyal gentleman, because she's has the orientation that nothing good will come out from dating the latter.. it's more like a song for them when they were younger!

TRIBALISM: one of the main problem of NIGERIA.
Why can't we live like brothers and sisters and leave alone the hate and spite?!
In ONE NIGERIA we believe.

Igbo girls are more tribalistic than the Yorubas.You still have many Yoruba girls getting married to Ibo men,but hardly you see an Igbo girls getting married to a Yoruba man except he is rich.They tagged them Onfemanu.So mentioning Yoruba girls in such comments is meaningless and unrealistic

Be a sane and rational person and marry a sane and rational spouse.

These things only happen with couples who seek validation from others.

Discuss the difficult details before marriage, finance, in laws, number of kids, cost sharing for bills, house chores etc. Don't assume, if you have questions ask, be clear about what you are getting into.

You and your spouse are going to be team mates, it is for two of you two to be on the same page and succeed not all those meddlesome family members.

The sad part is in laws who turn a husband into a cash machine and those who constantly seek to humiliate the wife by turning her into a help.

A modern couple should discuss these things and resolve them. I rejected a nice prospective spouse whose mother was rude to me because I couldn't live all my life walking on egg shells. People should be bold enough to stand their grounds on some issues before they marry

We are all guilty...we subconsciously raise walls when the tribe not preferred comes along

Its really funny, i had this girlfriend that was a Jehovah's withness, I was ready to GI to the ends if the earth just to be with her but she said she couldn't, why? I'm a Jehovah's withness and you're not, my parents will kill me she said.

livinbygrace:


Igbo girls are more tribalistic than the Yorubas.You still have many Yoruba girls getting married to Ibo men,but hardly you see an Igbo girls getting married to a Yoruba man except he is rich.They tagged them Onfemanu.So mentioning Yoruba girls in such comments is meaningless and unrealistic

It could be vice versa also.
And that was actually a quite from the story.
But we do respect your view and opinion.