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We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? - Romance - Nairaland

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AS Genotype Getting Married To AS Genotype / Love Is Not Blind, I Cannot Date A Short Man Or AS Genotype / As Genotype Freind Wants To Marry As Female (2) (3) (4)

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We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Realman4: 2:50pm On Jun 15, 2010
Hi Guys,
I have been dating this lovely lady for the past 3 years,and from the begining of the relationship i asked for her genotype and she said AA,i am AS so i try s much as possible not to hit the wrong target.

It was early this year that she did another test for one reason or the other only to get the result saying she is AS,we almost ignored it but i was disturbed that how can a paediatric hospital make mistake with genotype, I later asked her to reconfirm,the test says AS again,

I dont know which step to take now,she is down and i am as well disturbed,how can i just dissolve a house built through thick and pain like that,she has been all i need in a woman,

House,which way out?Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Rusty09(m): 3:04pm On Jun 15, 2010
My guy, trust me, it would be better to part ways. . . Dont bring another poor SS child to this world to suffer. If u didnt know before hand, its a different case, but now that u know, u have to let go. I know it cant be easy at all, but u have to think of the child. I have an SS in the family and ive lost count of all the prayers and sleepless nights and pains we feel when she is in the hospital. . .

Prevention is better than cure, do not deceive urselves that u can maintain the child, its just God. U have to let go, cry cry sad sad
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by LOVE4BUG(f): 3:13pm On Jun 15, 2010
Cheii this is very painful! pls seek your doctor's advice, i belive he can give you a package for AS and SS.

sorry o bro cry cry embarassed angry undecided very sad indeed.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Travelista(f): 3:35pm On Jun 15, 2010
Awww! *hug*

Maybe you shouldn't give up on this relationship just yet. You guys should make an appoint with your doctor (or a geneticist?) and see what they have to say about testing in utero for SS; if they can, then you two will have more options on what to do regarding pregnancies. I wish you two the best of luck; don't fret, hun.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Benitaton: 3:44pm On Jun 15, 2010
Dont get carried away with love, if u want to go ahead with the relationship, make sure u dont prduce kids
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Ben13: 3:50pm On Jun 15, 2010
The way out is to search for another LIFE partner. . .Such "love" doesn't last.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by josphy: 3:52pm On Jun 15, 2010
pls pls my brother time heals all things you both can still find love elsewhere, save your children from the PAINS of the sickle cell.

imagine your sweet daughter writting in pains day in,day out.and dying at the tender age of 10 without been given a chance in life
becos of your selfish love.
bros you will hate yourself and your poor wife ll live in the hospital.
what if they come  2 sicklers i your home. your 2sweet girls or a girl and your only son.

there is a way out though: JESUS OUR LORD
HE CAN CHANGE YOUR GENOTYPES TO AA.It a blood ailment and he heals all ailments.
All the best bro.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Nobody: 3:58pm On Jun 15, 2010
My advice is never try to marry each other
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Realman4: 5:00pm On Jun 15, 2010
U are saying 3 solid years of moral and selfless support should just go,we are both 29yrs old,looking trying to fix a date for the introduction,and the wedding for next year,she has been my pillar and the sister i never had,she is at home now crying her head off,while i can not concentrate at work,
we keep calling and consolling each other,

I love her and she love me like her life,
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Yoighaman(m): 5:50pm On Jun 15, 2010
Talk to your doctor, tell him/her you are ready to do anything to keep her and you can wait for a while after multiple trials; i need not say much on this forum else i'll be condemned.

Don't leave her please.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Travelista(f): 6:36pm On Jun 15, 2010
Yoighaman:

Talk to your doctor, tell him/her you are ready to do anything to keep her and you can wait for a while after multiple trials; i need not say much on this forum else i'll be condemned.

Don't leave her please.

Gbam! You and I are >>>here<<<.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by tayoast(m): 8:41pm On Jun 15, 2010
Real.man:

U are saying 3 solid years of moral and selfless support should just go,we are both 29yrs old,looking trying to fix a date for the introduction,and the wedding for next year,she has been my pillar and the sister i never had,she is at home now crying her head off,while i can not concentrate at work,
we keep calling and consolling each other,

I love her and she love me like her life,


eh yahhh. . .
this is painful

**sheds tears**
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by ITgurlie(f): 8:56pm On Jun 15, 2010
Real.man:

U are saying 3 solid years of moral and selfless support should just go,we are both 29yrs old,looking trying to fix a date for the introduction,and the wedding for next year,she has been my pillar and the sister i never had,she is at home now crying her head off,while i can not concentrate at work,
we keep calling and consolling each other,

I love her and she love me like her life,


cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry sad sad sad sad sad sad sad
This is so sad, but you both also have to consider the pain it will cost you if you bring an SS child into the world sad sad
but a miracle could happen let me tell you a story:

I had a friend whose parents were both AS and they had three children one AA, and two AS. The doctor told them to stop there cos the fourth one could be SS undecided undecided

There's also a sad one too: another friend whose parents where also AS sad she's the only child and she's SS sad sad whenever she has her crisis it's always bad cos she's constantly in pain cry cry sad

My candid advice, go and see your pastor he'll be able to talk to both of you better, just put a hold on everything until you're very sure. Shalom! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Nobody: 8:57pm On Jun 15, 2010
Dont try it my guy,if you were living in the western world its possible because they could identify the genotype from the womb and then flush it,how many times will you flush,because you cannot predict the next one and the next one and the next one,and its also possible the As comes  first who knows.The medicare in Nigeria is in camatose ,There are know insurance or national health insurance ,so it an expensive venture.Try to forget it ,ITs expensive to manage and its bad for the children and you your self.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by spicyhoney(f): 10:54pm On Jun 15, 2010
A real sad case, i feel for you. Both of you should go have a session with a Doctor together. cry
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by coolier(f): 3:21am On Jun 16, 2010
Real.man:

we almost ignored it but i was disturbed that how can a[b] paediatric hospital[/b] make mistake with genotype,

Real.man:

we are both 29yrs old,

What has pediatric hospital got to do with your blood tests? And I thought you said you're both 29?
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Sweetdoct247(m): 3:31am On Jun 16, 2010
You don't need to go see any doctor he/she is going to tell you pretty much the same things you have been told by many people here except if you are in one of the developed countries where health care service is good and you have a lot of options. But if you were to be in Nigeria. DONT TRY IT if you decide to go ahead, forget about having kids. Raising up a child with sickle cell disease is not something you will wish on your enemy and the chance is there that you can even have more than one of them. It's draining both emotionally and financially. You just have to face reality and break this relationship. It's not easy I know but you have to do it.  You will both blame yourselves in future if you venture into it. All you have to do is pay a visit to a family burdened with raising up a SS child I'm sure you won't find it too difficult to change your mind. Accept my sincere sympathies embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by leadteam: 10:12am On Jun 16, 2010
If you are truly in love as you said, do not break up with her. Here are my suggestions.
The likely hood of having SS baby is 25% so you have 75% chance of not having SS.
Let me share with you a true life story of a person I know

Mr A has been dating Miss B for about 4 years (immediately the girl left Secondary school), Mr A asked for her blood GP out of desperation she lied that she is AA 'cause she does not want to loose the guy, only for Mr A to detect after getting married and she was pregnant and a test was taken on her.
She has since have 2 babies, non is SS. The man kept on telling me that they always put it to God in prayer everyday whenever she was pregnant and GOD do answer prayer.

U can do it prayerfully. If you are buoyant, you can as well go and check the the blood Genotype of the fetus. There is nothing like having a happy family
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by izeek(m): 10:19am On Jun 16, 2010
tough luck bro, wish there was an alternative.

best you part ways or just sit pretty and face the music.

one thing though, nothing says ss is a certainty, only if there are more options say like four kids.

if you must, then i suggest you have just a kid or two max. that way we eliminate possible chances of ss kids. not saying it a total assurance oh!
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Realman4: 1:17pm On Jun 16, 2010
@Cooolier:
I used the paediatric hospital reference to show that the first test is genuine since hospitals that deal with children are more detailed because of the delicate and fragile nature of kids,and they take blood test serious.

@All: Thanks for your words of advice and encourangement.

I av spoken with doctors both home and abroad,they all advice that the risk is high and that how many foetus are prepared to flush out before we get our desired result?

Also,if we are not aware,we can claim ignorance but since we knew we should not allow today to mar our future,

We,both are given to prayer,we have been fasting for the past few days, but God need to give the go ahead before such decision can go on,

The problem,we both never thought that we can get to this junction,where we have to choose between now and our future.
She is the best any guy can ask for and on my part not to blow my horn,i am ok for any God fearing lady,but where do we start from,can i really remember the best line to use in asking a lady out,getting to know her etc,she on her path has forgotten that other guys exists apart from me,
She is my sister,that was what my Pastor called her when she came visiting me in the north because of the resemblance,eye contact and the body language,

God take control and let your will alone be done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Creamish(f): 2:31pm On Jun 16, 2010
See a doctor and get professional counselling . . . science wont support the union . .God might. wink
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by virgie(f): 3:05pm On Jun 16, 2010
The trauma of having an SS child or children from such relationship is better imagined than experienced. Such children spen 3/4 of their lives in hospital.

However, I also there that there is a Sickle Cell center in Lagos where preganacies can be tested to know if the unborn baby is SS. In such a case, you will be advised to terminate the pregnancy until you have AA or AS pregannacy.

It is choice you have to make and wisely too.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by LOVE4BUG(f): 3:21pm On Jun 16, 2010
good luck to in which ever way choose.


But wait u dnt need to ask a lady out while i'm available, just wink and i will respond wink wink grin grin grin grin cheesy cheesy cheesy (just kidding) cheesy cheesy
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by OnyinyeGod(f): 3:27pm On Jun 16, 2010
Bros, go to God in prayer there is nothing he cant do. I am a living witness. My fiance is AS, i went for a test in one private hospital and i was told that i am AS too. i nearly died. Everybody was like dont marry him or dont marry her. I told myself, "In this guy i found my true love, everything i need in a man is in this my baby". I told God if u are really God, change my story. My JEHOVA did it 4 me. After 3 days or so, i went for another test and was confirmed AA. GOD CAN DO IT 4 U. THERE IS NOTHING HE CANT DO. HE HAS DONE SOEMTHING GREATER THAN THIS BEFORE FOR ME, THIS ONE IS JUST A MINOR CASE FOR HIM. HE IS ABLE TO CHANGE THE STORY AS HE CHANGED MINE IF U BELIEVE!!!

GUDLUCK

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Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Nobody: 3:54pm On Jun 16, 2010
Passing
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by blankees(m): 4:01pm On Jun 16, 2010
Bro, i feel like crying for u, i empathise wit u cos dis is really a very difficult situation for both of u, but just like most pple said, man proposes and God disposes. I believe in God n i hav full faith in him,deres notin he cant do, as it stands now, u shd put dis situation entirely in his hands. My advise to u is dis, challenge God wit ur prayer n faithfulness, sacrifice sometin about u for him (maybe sometin u feel u cannot do without), make a committment to him and i tell u, he'll change ur story to a better one. I'll join u in prayers for Gods favour. All da best bro.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by coolier(f): 4:56pm On Jun 16, 2010
Real.man:

@Cooolier:
I used the paediatric hospital reference to show that the first test is genuine since hospitals that deal with children are more detailed because of the delicate and fragile nature of kids,and they take blood test serious.

That is exactly my point, your use of pediatric hospital. You have no business in a children's hospital because you're adults and 'am sure no pediatrics hospital would attend to adults, let alone take your blood samples! because the hospital is exclusive to children.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by maureena(f): 5:48pm On Jun 16, 2010
MY DEAR WHEN I SAY RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE I MEAN FLEE. NO MATTER THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE BUILT.

DO YOU LISTEN TO INSPIRATION FM, AND DID IT SINK INTO YOUR BIG HEAD WHAT ONE OF THE INVITED GUEST AND A CALLER SAID.

THE CHANCE OF YOU NOT HAVING SS AS A FIRST CHILD IS ALREADY PROVEN. FORGET ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY OF YOU NOT HAVING SS
AS A FIRST ISSUE. IT IS RARE.

DO NOT BRING AN UNBORN BABY INTO THIS WORLD TO SUFFER. DID YOU HEAR WHEN ONE OF GUEST WAS ASKED TO EXPLAIN WHAT IS MEANT BY
"CRISIS" . HE SAIS CRISIS IN THE LIFE OF A SICKLER IS AEXCRUCIATING PAIN. ANOTHER CALLER ON LIFE FOCUS ON INSPIRATION FM SAID THAT
SHE CAN DESCRIBE IT AS A HAMEERING PAIN WHICH CAN OCCUR ALL OVER THE BODY OR ANY PART OF THE BODY.

FOR THE SAKE OF THE UNBORN CHILDREN PLEASE DO NOT MARRY HER. I KNOW IT IS NOT EASY TO LET GO. BUT THINK ABOUT THE CRISI THAT
THE UNBORN BABIES WILL GO INTO.

ASK THE SS AND THEY WILL TELL YOU BETTER BECAUSE IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR THEM.

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by sevule(m): 11:36am On Jun 17, 2010
Hey Dude I feel you pain cos I was/am in the same shoes. But I just wanted to tell you that there is a sickle cell center at Idi Araba. And yes, they can actually test the genotype of an unborn child up to 7 weeks. The test was 700,000 naiara the last time I checked (that was last year, the cost may have gone down). If you need any further information let me know okay? Best of luck and my prayers go with you as you make your decision.
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Nobody: 11:47am On Jun 17, 2010
There is NO alternative . . . you have to let her go!

I's not just about the risk of bringing SS children into this world, it's about the morals behind it!

Though there are chances of having children that are sicklers but it's the possibility, no matter how slim, that makes it unmentionable!

It's like loading one bullet in a gun with four barrels and then holding the gun to your child's head and pulling the trigger, and hoping it's the empty barrel!

It's just not worth the risk.

Besides what message will you be sending to your children? That's it's ok to do what you know is wrong as you guys are in love? undecided

I know it's hard (trust me I've been there), but it's not something you want to look back to later in life and say, I wish I just passed through the pains of letting go then!
Re: We Are Both As Genotype,what Is The Way Out? by Nobody: 11:50am On Jun 17, 2010
sevule:

Hey Dude I feel you pain cos I was/am in the same shoes. But I just wanted to tell you that there is a sickle cell center at Idi Araba. And yes, they can actually test the genotype of an unborn child up to 7 weeks. The test was 700,000 naiara the last time I checked (that was last year, the cost may have gone down). If you need any further information let me know okay? Best of luck and my prayers go with you as you make your decision.

The tests exist, but what about the risk? You are taking samples from a barely 3mth old foetus and there are side effects. It could lead to a miscarriage if not carried out properly. And then what happens if it's SS? An abortion?

@ Poster

Trust me you dont want to put the woman you love through all that!

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