Hello everybody,

first i want to say sorry for my bad english and i hope that you can understand me. I try my best 

I read a lot in this Forum and you people discussed a lot about this theme , white women/black man, black women / white man.

I am together with a nigerian man now for almost 6years. We have two children.
Our relationship ist sometimes good and sometimes very bad. I am not so sure about him, because people are always telling me that he is just pretending. Normal i dont need to believe that but sometimes i have to think about all this.

Now i hear often from black women that black man, exspecially nigerian man, dont even like white girls.
we are uggly for them and just a ticket to europe, and one day he will just go and take his wife from back home and forget about his children here. This happen quite often and because of this i am really a little bit afraid and i like to hear some oppunion here from you people,

Haters will always talk. speakng from experience
It's how you feel that really matters!!!

Imagine this is your first post on Nairaland.

Yes, you are right.
Thats true.

But in bad moments i just have to think about all this words form these haters.
this ist what sometimes destroys relationships between two people, because people just speak to much.

Normal i feel that i can trust him and i think that he loves me (ok may be sometimes he really hates me   ).

In octobre he want to travel to nigeria for 2 weeks and i dont know what to do.
i think i will go crazy here, because i will just thinkt about that he go to his wife there, even when he says that he is not married there  

i am from germany, like you
i am 23 years old and a student.

my boyfriend is form nigeria, benin city and he is here since almost 7 years.
he is 26 and he is working in a firma.

when you want know more, just ask.

ok, i hav 1 question for you.

Do you know or have talked to any of his family members in Nigeria?
that will help make you sure about his intentions,

@ poster what part of Germany are you from?

germans

makkajibz:

I spoke to his mother, his father and his sister, but on telephone it is very difficult to understand each other, so this speaking for me is like nothing. Its only: Hello, how are you? How is the baby? etc.

So this is why i dont really like to speak with them, but his parents always stress him when he doesn`t give me the phone. Sometimes this cause problems too.

I am from Niedersachsen.

[quote author=Selena586 link=topic=480080.msg6395713#msg6395713 date=1279281959 but his parents always stress him when he doesn`t give me the phone. Sometimes this cause problems too.
[quote][/quote]
I am no love doctor, but i think if his parents are involved and know they have grand children then there's no problem.
Have you ever thought of visiting Nigeria with him

Black Woman and BacK Man even more problems! And more family drama 
If you always have problems pray about it or get ride of the source.

His parents of course are involved.
But some women told me that their "husband" invite her to the family and they thought that this was the family and later they saw that their husbands paid this people to play his familiy

So this mean nothing.

Of course I like to travel to Nigeria. We spoke about it before. His parents also want to see the children. The time they hear that he will come alone this year after 6 years their was so happy but they was very sad when they hear that the children can`t come with him. I think his mother is a very nice person and she like to see her grand children but no way for us.
He can`t invite them to germany, because we dont have so much money. I am just a student. And to go to nigeria is also very difficult and expensive. My boyfriend said that at the moment its not so good there intense of the security exspecially for white people and I am white   so he is a little bit afraid and me too.

When he ist there i will pray every day that he will come back healthy. i have read so many bad things.

i dont know any black couple, so i dont know about the problems.
I think they will not have some much problems when they come from the same place.

But my parents came from the same city and had a lot of problems every day

I am sorry to say! This is so bullsxxxt.

Even if he is married to a Nigerian Girl, even if he is of his own tribe and approved of his family.

So what? Is he not the father of your children, too? Are you not having sex with him, too. And is he not providing for you, too?

Do you ask his family before falling in love with him? And did he ask them, when making the two kids?

And all the neggers on both sites fuxxk off and might your own business!

I am a very fett, ugly white German myself!

Germany Nigerians Yoruba
And honestly family mess and sleeping around is the same everywhere.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1zepVnXxnA

LOVE IN BERLIN 1 auf you tube

I wouldnt advice you to get a spy or confront him about this issue,cos that can destroy your rrelationship,
Then you should just trust him and hope he is what he says he is, because two kids ,that's a lotta load!
I wish you the best of luck. another question: ARE THE BABIES FROM HIM AND YOU

And about securty in Nigeria,there are white people in Nigeria that are still alive. So dont think its murder-city or something,

WhiteOne:

I am sorry to say! This is so bullsxxxt.

Even if he is married to a Nigerian Girl, even if he is of his own tribe and approved of his family.

So what? Is he not the father of your children, too? Are you not having sex with him, too. And is he not providing for you, too?

Do you ask his family before falling in love with him? And did he ask them, when making the two kids?

And all the neggers on both sites fuxxk off and might your own business!

I am a very fett, ugly white German myself!

Germany Nigerians Yoruba
And honestly family mess and sleeping around is the same everywhere.

you're jus stuupidly idiotic!!!

Thank you so much for the complement 
And now let us know WHY you call me an  idXXXot or are you to shy to make a propper statement

whaat proper statement?

A propper statement means you explain what you dislike and why you dislike it.

oh, cos you wrote '' nigga'' i hav passed that level i know you jus being the idiiot you're!!!
despite that if you said to my face i'll have blackened yours,

some women told me that their "husband" invite her to the family and they thought that this was the family and later they saw that their husbands paid this people to play his familiy

 

really?

nagging (English) means to nörgelnd (German)
perpetual nagging THEREFORE Naggers  . . .

I do not mean to use the other "n-word" and if you still wish to come face to face with me, please do so.

Oyebo Pepper get s yellow yellow more more. This is what i where called many times.

And why some people call my children 'Omo oyebo'

I might find this offensive, too. Ever thought about this

makajibbz:

Yes, the two babies are our own babies and in this point  I cant say something bad about him.
He take care of them very good and he is a lovely father.

tpiah:

Yes this really happens.
Another man introduce his white wife to his sister (the sister was his wife, who was living in Nigeria).

I didn`t say that black/black or white/white couples dont have any problems.
But for them its easier.

When you want to have a permanent relationship and not just your fun for some nights, its very difficult to be together with a person from another country, exspecially when the countrys are so different, like Germany and Nigeria.

Its starts with the point of where you want to live in future. My boyfriend wants to go back when he is older. I want to live in my country. His parenst need somebody when they are getting older and my too, so where you want to stay?

One will always lose.

The countries are so different.
The partens might need somebody.
So if a girl from France and a boy from Germany, fall in love.
Do the not have the same problem?
Or you are married and your mama is getting older and she lives in Hamburg at the coast and your husband and you life in Muenchen.
This are all excuses.

Are you the only child they got?
Can not the brother or sister take care?

And what about a housegirl or some extended family to help mama or baba at home in the village? How many people are leaving in Lagos or London, who have found a solution for this matter. Why Germany should be different if you and your man are truly one.

WhiteOne:

nagging (English) means to nörgelnd (German)
perpetual nagging THEREFORE Naggers  . . .

I do not mean to use the other "n-word" and if you still wish to come face to face with me, please do so.

Oyebo Pepper get s yellow yellow more more. This is what i where called many times.

And why some people call my children 'Omo oyebo'

I might find this offensive, too. Ever thought about this

' omo oyimbo ' means ' white person ', simple, how does that offend you

tpiah:

 

really?

true story oo,
My uncle is in germany and was married to a German lady nd has 2 kids with him also, notice i said was, na past tense oooo,

And yes they do some crazy things in germany whereby the husband will have the liver to carry his 'so called sister' into their house in Germany,
Until wind blows and expose the fowls nyash, person go open eye and wonder since when do brother and sister get jiggy?

Selena586:

I didn`t say that black/black or white/white couples dont have any problems.
But for them its easier.

When you want to have a permanent relationship and not just your fun for some nights, its very difficult to be together with a person from another country, exspecially when the countrys are so different, like Germany and Nigeria.

Its starts with the point of where you want to live in future. My boyfriend wants to go back when he is older. I want to live in my country. His parenst need somebody when they are getting older and my too, so where you want to stay?

One will always lose.

Selena did you not think of this before?
Or did you think he would want to grown old and drop dead in a white mans land?
Furthermore, what about the kids?
Will they never know their fathers land?

My aunt was honest and said its a cool thing in germany for young ladies to date a black guy, all the ladies seem to go crazy over them,  but this is always the end story as you have just posted


Well, my dear, this is what RELATIONSHIPS are all abt, give and take!!
Both parties have to make sacrifices  in order for them to forge ahead together as one,

Even though my aunt (My uncles ex wife) separated from my uncle, we are in very good terms with her and the children adore there nigerian roots and family.
The children come during their holidays at their own accord because they feel their German family are not real family to them,
German as much as it is moving forward in terms of racism etc,  it is stil faaaaaaaar behind compared to UK, USA etc, 
Your kids will feel it like it or not because my cousins got their fair share of insult/teasing  and crap in school and by the german society

My point is make a decision that will benefit you, your children and relationship now and for the future ahead, dont listen to enemies of progress who are probably jealous and want what you have,