sage:

And a little footnote- if I were a girl I would not marry a guy not sexually experienced coz il hate to be telling him " No its not there, a little up, stick it in here and stuffs like that, its really messed up.

A good one there Sage!! Thumbs up for you oh. You are the man.

tayotina:

Einstein when I say I want a man who is good and active in bed, I know what I mean ok? I want a man who can do and undo. A man who can make me cry blood.

Tayotina,

Going by that quote, I can't clear the air about which horse your back. Nevertheless, we have a merging interface. Any man can do it the way you want it. You only need to show him in love.

By the way, are you an exponent of premarital sex?

sage, good talk .

Einstein, I don't need to show any man love before he can 4k me ok?  I don't want anyman, I want the right man.

And NO I am not in support of premarital sex.

Well,well,well.Do some of us ever know that being a virgin is not the ultimate in life?Being a virgin or not is personal and cos someone is a virgin does not mean you have to announce to the whole world.And some pple just like to pretend as if they are saint..pls lets face reality.have you guys ever thought of pple who have been raped..are they still virgins?
 This is a good topic and I want everyone to be sincere and stop criticising non-virgins.I once had a friend who was a virgin and on this faithful day an arm-robber came to their house and she was raped..I think I felt pity for her cos she was beating mercilessly before the guy finally raped her.I have actually seen a sister who was a virgin before she got married and at this moment her marriage has collapsed and I've seen someone who is a serious "aristole" while in school and she is happilly married.
 So please when you want to speak dont be one sided cos I could read some people saying its virgin by force..have you ever seen anyone given a gold medal becos he or she is a virgin...been a virgin will be between you and your spouse and its not a guarrantee that you will enjoy ur marriage.
 Sex is a very important issue in couples life.I'm not saying this to change any one opinion about sex but it cant be waved aside.I cant marry a virgin man..it does not matter the way you read this but that's me and I dont want to pretend.A guy will love irrespective of you been a virgin or not..and a girl as well.We still have virgins but what of people that has been raped..pls if you want to talk on virgin or non-virgin dont write to criticise non-virgins,you can only know if a girl has had sex but can you know if a guy has had sex?What if he pretends to you he never did it and on that so called gloriuos day he pretends as if he doesnt now where to start from...how will you know
 Sex is good and it worths enjoying especially in marriage so dont jump on a girl or a boy simply becos he/she is a virgin...marriage is more than Virgin or non-virgin.
Lastly I'm not saying I support pre-marital sex but pls when you send post always think of the impact it will have on people reading dont amke non-virgins feel guilty as if they dont worth it

seems for the first time, a lot of our ladies are being truthful............nice to see that we are facing facts now and not ideality, we dont live in a dream world and in as much as the ladies want a Mills & Boon affair, life is just a bitch.

@tayotina-go girl, tell them as it is...meanwhile while u dey come menshun my name dere now? If police dey catch person na so dem go rope me inside....

@Einstein- if you think all men are good in bed, then u are living in a fantasy world

You have brought up the issue of rape, and well, I'm just sad to hear about it.

As far as I am concerned, a virgin remains a virgin in spite of prior rape.

Seun:

You have brought up the issue of rape, and well, I'm just sad to hear about it.

As far as I am concerned, a virgin remains a virgin in spite of prior rape.

So are you telling me a girl that has been raped is a virgin.She might take it she's still a virgin just to console herself and to give her a sense of belonging again but I think once its broken it cant be returned.So what are we saying herePls Seun can you explain further?/

Abegiii once a person has lost his/her virginity it is gone. In any case what is a virgin? Virginity is defined by the loss or possession of the hymen. Once a woman looses the hymen, then she is no longer a virgin. Girls lose it on the sports field quite easily. WHile I feel for the person that was raped, the truth is that she is no longer a virgin.

@ Seun, if she gets pregnant from that rape nko? which is quite possible

First of all, there are things a doctor can do a few hours after a rape to make pregnancy impossible. But because of the unecessary stigma attached to rape the girl may keep quiet and not tell anybody, which makes the doctors not to get to do their job. So a rape should not lead to pregnancy if doctors are consulted. The real danger is the possibility of getting an STD or AIDS .

Anyway, if a girl is raped and due to not knowing what to do she ends up pregnant, well I still see her as a virgin. So in my book it is possible for a virgin to be pregnant. It is not the membrane that is the big deal for those who make virginity a serious issue. It is the act. A virgin that was raped has not yet had the opportunity to do what we are saying ppl should not do.

If you take a bag of money out of the bank, is it robbery? Well it depends on whether the money is yours! If you kill a man is it murder? Well it could manslaughter, or self-defence, depending on the circumstances. In most things in life, the question "how" matters as much as "what".

Hehehehe, in that case, a girl can easily lie to you that she was raped and shed crocodile tears for you to believe, when the real truth is that she had actually been sampled by 1,000 thousand different men! And you will just "gawk" it and think you have met an innocent virgin! sorry oh!

Good point. So why do you think I am running this pro-virginity campaign? To encourage the girl not to sleep with 1,000 men in the first place, so she won't have to tell any lies to cover it up.

if it comes to sex a girl with sex experience is better. If a girl lacks experience she can be taught but if it is a guy, good heavens how does he start. I would love to watch that kind of a scenerio, too bad 4 the guy he will have to wait 4 the girl to tell him "anchor me towardz this angle" rather than flipping her over and giving her the goods. Cant imagine myself in that scenerio male or female

It just goes to show that some people want ready-made goods. Well I can't attack your preference, but I don't share it. The "anchor me towards this angle" that you're speaking against is also known as communication. What your previous girlfriend liked is not necessarily what your wife would like. You seem to think that talking in the bedroom is bad.

My People...

You guys have raised too many issues here.. It would have been better if it had been separated into 3 separate blogs... viz:

1. The issue of marrying a virgin or not..
2. Whether virgins are good in bed or not?...
3. Whether being a virgin or not makes a good spouse and gives a happy home.. [I'm deliberately being 'genderless' here 'cos it applies both ways..

[there are a lot of sub-issues here, but I won't go into them now..]

Let my leave my 2 kobo for those interested...

On the first issue, marrying a virgin or not is a personal choice.. there's no recipe for success in a marriage by marrying one, or by not marring one.. I agree with the contributer who says that there are a lot more things involved..

On the second issue, being good sexually is more determined by one's state of the mind.. one's mindset.. if u are conservative, or closed in your sexual outlooks, you won't be free enough to express yourself.. and through that explore Ur partners desires.. Definitely, experience counts more in this regard, but this is not to say that the more experienced ones are better at it than those who have just been initiated into sex..

On the third issue, having a happy home is tied to happiness and compatibility of both spouses or partners.. sexual compatibility inclusive.. not to say that this must be explored before marriage, but honestly in my own opinion it helps.. 'cos if there are impending issues, they can be discovered and dealt with early enough.. And this is not just issues like sex drive, but more fundamental ones like psychological or physiological problems.. Everyone is different, and there may be some issues which are better discovered at the onset, than waiting for after the wedding day..
[There was an article on the net some weeks ago where a judge awarded a lady damages against her 'ex'-husband becos he couldnt complete his marital duties.. ]

All this having been said, there is this school of thought that if a "virgin" gets married to a "virgin", since they both shouldn't have had fore-knowledge of what different sexual experiences exist, they'd just have to take heart in believing that what they've experienced is "as good as it gets...".. a case of "if u haven't tasted it, u don't know what you're missing.." in this case, both parties should be content and life goes on..

But if one party is more sexually experienced, that party will obviously know if something is missing, but may not necessarily be in the best position to impart knowledge on the "missing component"... Sexual compatibility is not an only criteria for a successful relationship or home..


My 2 kobo....

Einstein:

Virgins are very wonderful beings to glue to.  I am of the opinion that virgin ladies make better and sexually trustworthy wives than the 'disrupted' ones.

Sex is a flaming fire that never dies down.  Once one ventures into it, he/she is bound to long for more.  A deflowered girl can hardly stop asking for more unless God's does a profound miracle; because of her urge for 'variety' , her husband would suffer much infidelity.  I am not saying virgins are excluded from this misdaemenour, but theirs is reduced.

4 Einstein...

Sorry bro.. this is a very wrong concept..
it's not tied to one's previous sexual activity, or lack there of...

justdman:

Hiya people! Please, lets not forget that sexual skills are not naturally endowed, we acquire it way or the other. So, a virgin can be sexually compatible with you once you as the guru will lead the way forward.

4 Da Justdman:

Everyone wants to teach the female virgin.. but who teaches the "teachers"

Seun first off all what gives you the right to label non-virgins as the other ones ,  I've said it over and over and over and over again getting married to a virgin is a very delicate issue it can so easily go wrong and if you are lucky it would go right, seun this your campaign against non virgins its on a high now, are you trying to tell me that that the possibility  of you falling in love with a girl who is not a virgin is not there, why do we just attack the non virgins, look you never know what sugar or honey tastes like till you taste it and when some do taste it they get hooked on it and they just cant wait to eat all the honey or sugar they see. why do you talk like virgins are saints WHY? do you think being a virgin makes the person extra special or a saint is that what you think pleaseeee wake up from your virginity and stop treating the non-virgins like leapers

Einstein:

.

tayotina link=topic=481.msg5806#msg5806 date=1118851359:

Honestly, I would love to get married to a guy who is very good and active in bed. I can't imagine myself settling down with a man who has never had sex. Gosh!! It's going to be boring

Getting a guy activated is a mere one-time-experience job.  Moreover, if you lead him by the **** on how to take several 'tumultous' forms, he will get acquainted, and even evolve sensual tears from your eyes.   Remember this, every man is ferocious when it comes to bed affairs

Sorry bro..
Another wrong concept.. for all you know, he might have a "quick-trigger"... 

Einstein:

The assertion that virgins make better sexually growing marriages does not outrightly annuls the welcomed idea that deflowered girls could make good homes.  What matters, aside the issue of compatibility, is open expressions and understanding of human differences before marriage.  If the two concerned parties can cope with past lives and be willing to adjust, life could be beautiful for them.

Lets not give the non-virgins the impression that the are societal misfit.  Beauty of character and an open expression of remorse could convince one's partner he has turn a new leaf.

Bro...

Beauty of Character is not the only reserve of virgins.. the fact that one has had sex before does not remove this trait from one's personality.. Not to say here that one should be promiscous, but we should call it as it is.. someone can be the most wonderful and pleasant person, and yet have had sex before.. I'm beginning to believe that the issue here should be one of sexual activity and not whether or not one has had sex before or not..

It is funny to see that people still have a lot of errorneous concepts that I last heard in secondary school!

But not to lose sight of the aim of the post, the question is would I prefer to marry a virgin?

The answer is no. The reason it is no is becuase while the person I marry may be a virgin when I meet her, I will surely have deflowered her before taking her down the alter.

So I actually may marry someone who was a virgin when we met but will surely not be one on her wedding day.

sade:

Seun link=topic=481.msg5877#msg5877 date=1118862110:

You have brought up the issue of rape, and well, I'm just sad to hear about it.

As far as I am concerned, a virgin remains a virgin in spite of prior rape.

So are you telling me a girl that has been raped is a virgin.She might take it she's still a virgin just to console herself and to give her a sense of belonging again but I think once its broken it cant be returned.So what are we saying herePlease Seun can you explain further?/

4 Sade:

Sorry dearie.. Don't want to sound insensitive, and I'm really not making fun out of the situation.. but I'm curious about something.. I hear they have surgical operations or techniques for "mending what has been broken"... is it true?.. have u heard of this?..

Vieira:

It is funny to see that people still have a lot of errorneous concepts that I last heard in secondary school!

But not to lose sight of the aim of the post, the question is would I prefer to marry a virgin?

The answer is no. The reason it is no is becuase while the person I marry may be a virgin when I meet her, I will surely have deflowered her before taking her down the alter.

So I actually may marry someone who was a virgin when we met but will surely not be one on her wedding day.

Nice one.... I feel you bro.. 

HABA you know my answer NEVER

The pro-virgins are still leading in the poll. 7 votes to 6. The anti-virgins are simply more vocal than the pro-virgins .

actually I have not voted! I did not even see the poll!

make I go vote.

in short, some of the things being spouted here makes me wonder. Vieria put it succintly, this are the kind of things we used to argue about in secondary school. I cant believe matured individuals would be so short sighted. A no mean to abuse anybody oh, but thinking that when a person is not a virgin the person is a devil reeks of arrant discrimination. Left to Seun, the other people as he so refers to us, would probably be locked up so as not to corrupt the virgins.

Abeg people, I repeat again, sex is a God given attribute. And the fact that we enjoy sex is what makes us differnt from most other animals who only induilge in it for procreation.

Deciding to remain a virgin is a personal choice. Nobody forced me to give it up when I did and I certainly didnt have any regrets, if anything, I wished I had been able to do it much MUCH earlier. But that is me. Each to his own.

The fact that you chose a path to tread during your infantile-innocence days does not guarantee you have reached a decisive conclusion as to what line should be drawn between virgins and non-virgins. You have simply followed the subtle push of your mind to hold aloft the branded idea of pre-marital sex.

I have painted a picture that reflects the school of thought that everything is not all good about too much sexual intercourse. Do you not feel that a good number of young guys and gals have given sex a first-rate priority? Everybody is in the wagon for the fun and the excitement he derives from the act; nobody attaches some sanctity to it anymore. Pleasure you call it!!!

Lets add a bit of realism to this discourse. Cimonjorr, Vierra and Jogego, could each of you share with us how you felt after much intercourse with one your gals? I don't intend getting too poky, I only feel we could learn from live scenarios.

4 Sade:

Sorry dearie.. Don't want to sound insensitive, and I'm really not making fun out of the situation.. but I'm curious about something.. I hear they have surgical operations or techniques for "mending what has been broken"... is it true?.. have you heard of this?..
[quote][/quote]
Well I dont think I can answer that question cos I'm not a doctor but I just believe a lady that has had sex before..either through rape or her consent is not a virgin and I dont see any big deal in not being a virgin cos its not writen on the fore head, only you can say..so being a virgin or non-virgin is not a big deal.So MR Cimonjorr I hope I've answered your question cos if there's any surgical operation to mend what has been broken then our mothers as well are virgins!!

like i said b/4 we r not in secondary school so let us stop placing emphasis on something that is not important. U see if u r a guy and u insist on a virgin, in like 4 yrs after ur marriage (if it takes that long) beign a virgin would no longer be her priority but believe it or not Good sex would now be her problem, and too bad 4 u if u r a guy without much experience (ie a one rythme guy) and she might not be too patient to with u. What i am saying is that a girl can only be a virgin one night and after that other things will now be her priority (one of them certainly not spending the rest of her life with a guy not good in bed, a quick trigger guy, and having to endure bad sex) . By then other problems associated with marriage would have set in and coupled with the problem in the bedroom it is going to be a K.O  knockout. Marriage is long term and should not be decided on simply if a person is a virgin or not.

peeps,

I prefer to marry a virgin ooo.if you are saying that there would be inexperienced, then why do they produce pornographic films they do it for married people who are inexperiened but the youths and everybody have spoilt that purpose, so poeple should not talk about the idea of not being experienced the is NON_SENSE.
when you are married you will have most of the time with you wife to practice and after some time you will be PERFECT.
why dont you just hold the HUNGER for sex till that gorgeous night when you and your wife will feel unique and remember that day forever,but if not it would be like everyother day to you,so you are like NOT AGAIN!!!

the idea of sex before marriage leads marriages to EARLY DESTRUCTION and I mean it because you dont like to be around the people that GOT THERE before your husband and you will not have peace of mind one bit.

i either marry a virgin or i be a love-vendor[font=Verdana][/font][size=10pt][/size][glow=red,2,300][/glow][shadow=red,left][/shadow][move][/move] till i DIE. {just joking}.

as for me  ooo "KEEP YOUR VIRGINITY TILL ELIGIBILITY" 
no long thing.
casper