Female Bashing ~ - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:15pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
A thread was done on Male Bashing, This is to counter. Let's do it to the female.  -Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. -A man will pay N20 for a N10 item he needs; A woman will pay N10 for a N20 item that she doesn't need. -Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. -Why do men pass more gas than women do? Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:20pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
-If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.  Six things only women can understand: 6. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 5. Fat clothes 4. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time 3. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell 2. Eyelash curlers AND, the Number One thing only women understand: OTHER WOMEN.  |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:24pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
-There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. -And then Adam said, 'What's a headache ?' -How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me. . ." -What do women and condoms have in common ? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis." -What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by flexystar(f): 5:28pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
"A man will pay N20 for a N10 item he needs; A woman will pay N10 for a N20 item that she doesn't need". She do pass the seller spiritual Konji.  |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:28pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Why men Prefer dogs Over Women Dogs love it when your friends come over Dogs don't cry Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name Dogs are excited by rough play Dogs don't shop. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by EfemenaXY: 5:43pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Jeez!! Ben wetin us women do you  - Na so you hate us reach??well these are a couple of well known facts: 1. Behind every successful man is a woman 2. Men can't live with us but they equally can't live without us!! 3. Men are incomplete without us, hence we make your worlds go round baby |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:51pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Lol Efe, Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a mental drive by 90%. . .wedding cake |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:55pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took place. The man says, "What's the problem, officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. " Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt." Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt." The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk." |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 5:57pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Element name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by EfemenaXY: 5:59pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
S.M.A.R.T. woman <Thinks to herself: Perhaps that was Ben and his wife last night. . .> |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 6:09pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
^^hehe. . .wives can be crazy at times |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Nobody: 6:28pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Men Are Like, , Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. , Commercials. You can't believe a word they say. , Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. , Government Bonds. They take way too long to mature. , Parking Spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small. , Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by dani1luv: 9:10pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
BEN!!! Im loving this!!! |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by dani1luv: 9:20pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Romance Mathematics Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by EfemenaXY: 9:25pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
dani1luv: hmmm - so how d'you explain the Romance ==> Marriage ==> Pregnancy life-cycle between couples then Dani?? |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by dani1luv: 9:39pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
emmm are you minding me!!  Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men? A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do? A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure. A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this man would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him , they kiss , and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive man, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The man says, "You can choose any prize you like from the bottom shelf". . |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 9:31am On Jul 20, 2010 |
A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband; woman; I lost my hubby inspector: what's his height? woman: i never noticed inspector: slim or healthy? woman: not slim, can b healthy inspector: colour of eyes? woman: never noticed, inspector: hair? woman: should b black inspector: what was he wearing? woman: i don't remember exactly inspector: was somebody with him? woman: yes, my Labrador dog (romeo) tied wit a golden chain, height 30", healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded wit blue balls, he likes non veg. food, we eat together, we jog 2geda. the woman started crying. inspector: lets search 4 d dog 1st!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 9:41am On Jul 20, 2010 |
Nigerian Girls who : Are Skinny Thinks they are Models or should be Models Are Fat Thinks they will make better Wives Are short Thinks they are born agains Are tall thinks it was of their making . Are poor thinks they are homely Are rich thinks they are too much for one man Are below 15 wants the time to start moving faster Ar, e in their 20s wants the time to start moving slowly Are in their 30s wants the time to stand still Are in their 40s wants the time to start moving backwards Are Christians thinks they deserve all the good men Are Married thinks it was because they are too smart Are not married thinks it was evil wish from their relatives Are married to rich men thinks they should have married another rich guy if the present husband didn't come along Are married to poor guys thinks the husband is lazy Are lucky to have Children thinks it was because of their righteousness Are not lucky to have Children Blame their evil relatives (c)2010 Sam Milla |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by romsky: 10:28am On Jul 20, 2010 |
u go meet me for front |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by dani1luv: 10:45am On Jul 20, 2010 |
Arent i supposed 2 be laffin, ama luvin dis! |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 10:54am On Jul 20, 2010 |
^^Dani, you once told me all the ladies in ya area has these xteristics.  you bad Rommie, meet you for where? when you dey yab Dani nko? lol |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by romsky: 11:26am On Jul 20, 2010 |
i mention dani name? and is that ya best shot against d opposite sex? i cant believe u |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 1:17pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
^^^We have more still chilling in the cooler. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by cynthoney(f): 2:15pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
SHEBI NA MY THREAD U DEY TRY OPPOSE 4 HERE? HERE IS SOME 4 U BEN-10: 1. The nice men are ugly. 2. The handsome men are not nice 3. The handsome and nice men are gay. 4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. 5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. 6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money, think we are only after their money. 7. The handsome men without money are after our money. 8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. 9. The men who think we are beautiful, are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards, 10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and, thank God, are heterosexual, are shy and do not EVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! 11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by EfemenaXY: 2:21pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
^^True talk!! and I guess that sums it all up |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by cynthoney(f): 2:26pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
I no kw BEN-10 abi na 1/2 tink say e fit yab us babes doesnt he kw say na dem b d root of all evil if say God no creat Adam,this world 4 no bad, atleast Eve no go c person wey no get sense wey she gv a apple |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by oniema(m): 4:21pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
@cynthoney You no say if not for Eve wey go chop apple the world for be better place to live in na because Eve na devil dat is why she collect apple from devil chop, come put men 4 wahala |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by cynthoney(f): 5:33pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
na una gree enter wahala |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by dani1luv: 8:43pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
Ben-10:You dey talk like say you dey patronze those babes 4 my area you bad? Ben-10:Inshut mine nor fit contain cooler |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by Ben13: 10:59am On Jul 21, 2010 |
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by romsky: 11:05am On Jul 21, 2010 |
Y buy Pork beef when i can get a whole PIG for same price |
| Re: Female Bashing ~ by EfemenaXY: 11:18am On Jul 21, 2010 |
^^ OMG!! |
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