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Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 8:26pm On Jul 19, 2010
SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT - A BABY'S PERSPECTIVE!

OK, here's my situation. My mummy has had me for almost 5 months. The first few months were great - I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened.

Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's pretty common after mummies have had us for around 6 months.

Here's the thing: these mummies don't really need to sleep. It's just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep - they just don't need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1 - cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it's hard. It's hard to see your mummy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it's for her own good.

Night 2 - cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3 - every hour.

Most mummies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some mummies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These mummies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot stress this enough:
CONSISTENCY IS KEY!!

If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert mummy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My mummy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it.
BE CONSISTENT!

I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn't eaten pears since lunch, what's up with that? The cat said "meow". I should know. My mummy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right - doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

It took a while, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your mummies' internal clocks.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me!
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by Dyt(f): 9:19pm On Jul 19, 2010
wat goes around comes around remember

tis a lesson nt a joke
tis aint funny
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 9:22pm On Jul 19, 2010
^^ Really?

Pls do tell - what is the lesson here then??

'cos the way I see it - 'tis nothing but light-hearted fun Dyt. . .
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by Dyt(f): 9:26pm On Jul 19, 2010
wat goes around comes around
sure u r gonna xprience dis too
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 9:29pm On Jul 19, 2010
The joke here is about how a newborn baby sees sleeping through the night - and tries to share it's knowledge experience(s) with other newborns. . .

Chill out Dyt - it's what babies do!
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by Dyt(f): 9:36pm On Jul 19, 2010
mayb i read it frm anoda angle
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by makajibbz(m): 9:50pm On Jul 19, 2010
Dyt:

mayb i read it frm anoda angle
to get d straight angle: sit right in front of the monitor of your PC, wink

@OP
nice, but not nice enuff undecided
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 9:54pm On Jul 19, 2010
hmmm

different strokes 4 different folks I guess smiley

but then again you're a man - don't expect you to like it though
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by jidobaba(m): 10:41pm On Jul 19, 2010
i like this part

I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn't eaten pears since lunch, what's up with that? The cat said "meow". I should know. My mummy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right - doesn't matter! Keep crying!!

such a street smarts for a baby
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 10:55pm On Jul 19, 2010
^^ That's my favourite part too!!

glad you like it cheesy
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by hushmann(m): 12:02am On Jul 20, 2010
hey dude,wht the Bleep is tht,
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by cynthoney(f): 7:31am On Jul 20, 2010
grin grin grin nice one,EFE

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me!

this is d one i enjoy most
kudos babes,
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by skyndyp(f): 9:22am On Jul 20, 2010
The language doesn't sound like a baby's. Don't you have kids around you? You should have made it look like baby talk. STALE sad sad sad
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by makajibbz(m): 9:43am On Jul 20, 2010
skyndyp:

The language doesn't sound like a baby's. Don't you have kids around you? You should have made it look like baby talk. STALE sad sad sad
how do you want it to sound? he wrote it for goodness sakes! undecided
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by skyndyp(f): 10:33am On Jul 20, 2010
makajibbz:

how do you want it to sound? he wrote it for goodness sakes! undecided

Thought Efe is a[b] SHE[/b] embarassed embarassed
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 10:49am On Jul 20, 2010
^^ No, Makajibbz is correct.

He's referring to the baby who wrote this pieces and it's a he
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by skyndyp(f): 11:38am On Jul 20, 2010
He doesn't sound like a baby then More like a street boy
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by skyndyp(f): 11:48am On Jul 20, 2010
Efe tell me about the[b] 16 [/b] na wink
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 11:58am On Jul 20, 2010
skyndyp:

He doesn't sound like a baby then More like a street boy

Lol! well, that was Mr Stud as a baby smiley

skyndyp:

Efe tell me about the[b] 16 [/b] na wink

yeah I know, 'tis good to be sweet 16
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by Basildon1(m): 12:19pm On Jul 20, 2010
I dont even get it when ppl on here criticise a joke
wat goes around comes around remember
tis a lesson nt a joke
tis aint funny

The language doesn't sound like a baby's. Don't you have kids around you? You should have made it look like baby talk. STALE


Hav a lighter approach for christ's sake, the whole thing is even copy and paste.
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 12:22pm On Jul 20, 2010
^^ Lol cheesy cheesy
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by skyndyp(f): 12:25pm On Jul 20, 2010
Basildon1:

I dont even get it when ppl on here criticise a joke

Hav a lighter approach for christ's sake, the whole thing is even copy and paste.

Who be this shocked shocked
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by StudioCFR(m): 12:30pm On Jul 20, 2010
Still searching for the joke?
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by cynthoney(f): 1:03pm On Jul 20, 2010
You r always searching 4 jokes. Go to d badbelle section!!!

hater of d millenium!!!
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by StudioCFR(m): 2:24pm On Jul 20, 2010
Na for mouth? Were is the crown?
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 2:27pm On Jul 20, 2010
Mr Stud angry angry

stay on topic!!

Stop Derailing!!
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by lysaa(f): 3:40pm On Jul 20, 2010
lol, efe don break bottle!

Na joke, riddle or na speech be dis? lol
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 4:09pm On Jul 20, 2010
^^ it's called 3-in-1 wink
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by dani1luv: 9:16pm On Jul 20, 2010
shocked shocked shocked You wan make i read this shocked shocked shocked shocked

Nyway Nice stuff shocked cool
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by sylve11: 9:30am On Jul 21, 2010
Efeturi, nice one there! grin cool
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by EfemenaXY: 11:06am On Jul 23, 2010
Thanks Sylve smiley
Re: Sleeping Through The Night - A Baby's Perspective! by lysaa(f): 4:00pm On Jul 23, 2010
Sylve is only tickling ur fancy. .i can guess what is going on in his thots. grin

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