I love my Girl so much and up till now I still do. I always encourage her in all she love doing. I always try to provide her needs. In the Past I paid her secondary school fees till she finished her waec. Now I'm struggling to see that she gets an admission to any good high institution she will love to go. I told her I love her so much and I can't staying without her. Now that she is waiting for admission I encouraged her to take a hair dressing job before she gts the admission. She told me that she loves me so much too and she wish to marry me.

Whenever I am back from work, I don't go to any place but her home to spend some quality time with her. Sometimes I take her out in the evening. Weekends I'm free so she comes to my place too. Our relationship is 4yrs old now. She Lied to me once but she pleaded for forgiveness which I did forgive her.

what is happening now is that, I noticed that a guy in her yard has an interest in her from his actions. He even told her he loves her too (she told me that herself). She told me that for her she does not have any interest in this guy, that they are just friends. That the guy sometimes encourage her that I am a good person who is good for her. Now anytime I'm not with her she spends her time in this guys room (with other people) watching movies and charging her phone whenever I'm not there. Sometimes she says that she is in the room charging her phone. So one day it happened that I was with her and tired from work, I had take a sleep in her bed. I woke up from sleep when one of her Uncles came into the room asking for her (she was not the room by then), so I went out looking for her. I met a lady in the yard asking her whether she has an Idea where my girl is and she told me that she is in that same guy's room. I now went to the room, knocked and I didn't hear any response and I went in. What I saw was that she sat close to him while the the guy pretends as if He was sleeping (no one was in room but the two of them). I told her uncle wants to see her, I didn't say anything i then went back to her room (sad inside of me). She noticed that I was sad then later explained that there nothing between the two of them. I warned her that whatever she is doing should have limit. If it means going to the guys room. This happened a week ago, yesterday I came found her in the guys room.

As for me, I always tried to avoid any intimate relationship with other ladies. So I want to ask good people of nairaland, I'm I too hard on this lady. Do you think that there is something that I don't have but the other guy do. I always tried to find out what is missing and yet I can't find any answer to that even we discuss. Does it mean that she is tired of me. Guys I need your help thanks.

My advice to you is you should sit her down and talk to her about how you feel seening her with the guy and hear her respone, but i think she is falling for the guy.

I already did that and she still said that there is nothing between the two of them.

tell your woman you are no longer comfortable wit her visiting the guy.that will put a limit on watever might be building

Hello,

How are you? I understand exactly how you feel. Make her understand that you don't feel comfortable with her getting close to that guy. Mistakes do happen; one day you would not be around and she might feel the need to be held by a guy, she would definitely resort to that guy. She might claim that nothing is happening but women could be funny. To even make it worse they stay in the same yard. My brother I have been there, if she is not willing to stop going to his room, then find another girl. I know it is not easy but there ar e many girls around.

give her yellow card

Danger signal!she likes him. .a guy man will slaughter any chicken weh enter his territory. .
u sound naive. . .never trust a woman.

i think its time u give her a preview of ur bad side, seems u have been good thru out n she is taking that as a sgn of being weak

@roots, this lady is capitalizing on your weakness, she knows that you love her and she is taking advantage of you. she wants to eat her cake and have it. She wants to keep you not because she still loves you but because of the financial gains you've been giving to her. Yes she has found something in her neighbor that attracts him to her, am sure she must have had intimacy with him. Try tell her you're giving up the relationship just to test her, you will see that she wont feel sober. She just don't know how to tell you goodbye because she will be an ingrate and you will hate her for life. So she will rather frustrate you until you give up by yourself. My advice is don't bother about all you've done for her, let her go if she wants, you'll be compensated someway somehow. That guy has something she loves and you don't have it. Probably the guy is more educated than you, or handsome than you or richer than you or more sexually good than you. Its better you marry someone that loves you for whatever you are and enjoy everlasting marriage than someone who is forced to marry you because you have done some goods in her life.

Guy man, I feel your pain.

But the truth is there is probably very little you can do. No amount of warning or ultimatum will stop your woman from going to see this chap.

Trust me. She has developed 'a thing' and she wont stop. You are in a no-win situation; If you make noise about it, she will do it secretly or she will kuku leave you altogether. If you dont make noise about it, then you will live in silent pain and she will still leave you. If you leave her first then she will say you overreacted and that shebi there was nothing going on. You cannot win!

Until she goes and sees what's behind the door and maybe gets a few of her fingers burned, she will not listen to you.

Sadly, a lot of people have to experience certain things before they learn. Your woman is one of such.

Grin, bear it and hope for the best.

erniewhez:

@roots, this lady is capitalizing on your weakness, she knows that you love her and she is taking advantage of you. she wants to eat her cake and have it. She wants to keep you not because she still loves you but because of the financial gains you've been giving to her. Yes she has found something in her neighbor that attracts him to her, am sure she must have had intimacy with him. Try tell her you're giving up the relationship just to test her, you will see that she wont feel sober. She just don't know how to tell you goodbye because she will be an ingrate and you will hate her for life. So she will rather frustrate you until you give up by yourself. My advice is don't bother about all you've done for her, let her go if she wants, you'll be compensated someway somehow. That guy has something she loves and you don't have it. Probably the guy is more educated than you, or handsome than you or richer than you or more sexually good than you. Its better you marry someone that loves you for whatever you are and enjoy everlasting marriage than someone who is forced to marry you because you have done some goods in her life.

very true words. very true!

Let her see the other side of you,i mean the hard side
If you ask me she myte already be cheatin on you,if that is the case find someone else cos she does not deserve u

Guys I really appreciate u all.

She looks so innocent and gentle after her Dad abandon. I love her passion to be educated, she looks nice too.

Guys, I did threatening her in the past, that is better to quit the relationship. I even told her that I'm moving far away from her to stay with a friend for weeks. But hearing that she cried with her heart beating fast to the extent that she nearly collapse and maybe die. Now I'm even scared to tell her that again because of the past incidence. what do you think I should do. Thanks alot.

Some few minutes, I did what I didn't do before to see her reaction. I called to great her.
So what I said was
" Good morning Honey, How are you doing? How is Mommy, everyone and how is "[color=#000099]the guys name"[/color]?
she responded by saying
"everyone is fine".
I then said
"I'll call you later"
I then hang up the phone.
After some minutes later, she called and said,
"Honey, I'm not happy with what you'd just said",
I asked
"what is the problem."
She said
"why would you mention the guys name which you'd never done before, I'm not happy".
I said
"I'm sorry, we will meet later"
[b]I then Hang up the phone. Later I received an sms sayin[/b]g
"Honey, it's you that I want, you that I love Honey. what is the problem"
I'm mute till as type.

She went and visited another guy while you where asleep, tired from work?? Thats just plain wrong. No matter if something is going on or not its just wrong and she needs to know that. If she wants you and loves you then she should stop visiting this other guy. She is asking for trouble and temptation. If you dont like it then tell her to stop to save your heart. All the best!

Tink_sh:

She went and visited another guy while you where asleep, tired from work?? Thats just plain wrong. No matter if something is going on or not its just wrong and she needs to know that. If she wants you and loves you then she should stop visiting this other guy. She is asking for trouble and temptation. If you dont like it then tell her to stop to save your heart. All the best!

Thanks alot

roots:

Some few minutes, I did what I didn't do before to see her reaction. I called to great her.
So what I said was
" Good morning Honey, How are you doing? How is Mommy, everyone and how is "[color=#000099]the guys name"[/color]?
she responded by saying
"everyone is fine".
I then said
"I'll call you later"
I then hang up the phone.
After some minutes later, she called and said,
"Honey, I'm not happy with what you'd just said",
I asked
"what is the problem."
She said
"why would you mention the guys name which you'd never done before, I'm not happy".
I said
"I'm sorry, we will meet later"
[b]I then Hang up the phone. Later I received an sms sayin[/b]g
"Honey, it's you that I want, you that I love Honey. what is the problem"
I'm mute till as type.

good job! keep the pressure, don't allow her to determine the pace. Play her game, as for me I would start interacting more with other ladies - you can ask a female friend or co-worker to pretend that you are flirting and observe her reaction.

poster dont let the girls on nairaland decieve.i have done this kind of thing before to a guys babe just like the story you narrated here the gurl likes to be with me and still telling her boyfriend nothing is going on between us.the end is that i bleeped her and let me tell you now that guy has bleeped your girl. just take it as a man and decide if you want to keep her or let her loose.

@poster neva love a gurl d dont worth it

GB102:

@poster neva love a gurl d dont worth it

I agree but never love a guy, not worth it!

Why cant anyone say the obvious, if she's not a V, then I can bet my next pay that this gal is being lashed proper by that the other guy,

papa190:

im learning from this fast~

Poster
I pray i never find myself in this kind of situation
infact im sending this msg straight 2 my GF,
and i would be warning her immediately NEVER to try such as well~

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guilty conscience.

erniewhez:

@roots, this lady is capitalizing on your weakness, she knows that you love her and she is taking advantage of you. she wants to eat her cake and have it. She wants to keep you not because she still loves you but because of the financial gains you've been giving to her. Yes she has found something in her neighbor that attracts him to her, am sure she must have had intimacy with him. Try tell her you're giving up the relationship just to test her, you will see that she wont feel sober. She just don't know how to tell you goodbye because she will be an ingrate and you will hate her for life. So she will rather frustrate you until you give up by yourself. My advice is don't bother about all you've done for her, let her go if she wants, you'll be compensated someway somehow. That guy has something she loves and you don't have it. Probably the guy is more educated than you, or handsome than you or richer than you or more sexually good than you. Its better you marry someone that loves you for whatever you are and enjoy everlasting marriage than someone who is forced to marry you because you have done some goods in her life.

So true!


Pls pardon me, no offence meant. There should be a mutual respect in every relationship and it’s obvious yours lack that. I doubt if you are ready to be a man cuz it seems to me you are letting her treats you like a frog. Being in love shouldn’t turn you to a slowpoke! Use your head.

chuks01:

poster dont let the girls on nairaland decieve.i have done this kind of thing before to a guys babe just like the story you narrated here the gurl likes to be with me and still telling her boyfriend nothing is going on between us.the end is that i bleeped her and let me tell you now that guy has bleeped your girl. just take it as a man and decide if you want to keep her or let her loose.

GBAM! I didn't wanna go straight, but poster your chic has been bleeped, just find a way to prove it and dump her sorry backside.

@ poster bliv me ur girl is cheating on u, i just feel sad when a girl pretend to treat guys bad when they know the guy loves them so much, i was in this situation last which i was so hurt by my girl going to a guys house and telling me there is nothing happening btw them, i bliv her because i love her so much i never knew she is killing me silently b4 i no it my girl is pregnant and telling me am responsible if not for her friend that expose her to me privately, this hurt me so much because she is my life then i really love her so much,
BELIV ME SHE IS CHEATING ON YOU MAY BE U ARE TOO QUITE AND SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT, NO DULL URSELF FOR WOMAN THE ARE VERY BAD

@roots, i dont know why youre overflogging this topic, is it until ths girl gives u ur greatest shock of being preg for another guy dt ull wake up? Is it that 9ja is so dry of babes dt u cant move on? If u must keep her double date and let her feel wht u feel. Stop all ds fucking sympathy of this ingrate, am getting annoyed by ur foolishness. Common ure a man. This stuff happened to my blossom friend and just as i am telling u and ure still, doubting i was telling him until the girl decided to have intimacy with me and i blew it up 2 my frnd b4 his eyes got opened wide. not too long we found out she was preg for her cousin. WAKE UP BROTHER! Use much of her and dump her. This will be my last say on this ok?

4 years and supporting her!!!  What a waste.  Cut you losses while you can or you will continue to loose.  Don't get stuck marrying this woman.

"What I saw was that she sat close to him while the the guy pretends as if He was sleeping " - Sounds like she was giving him a BL0W JOB.

If the man was laying down and she was sitting up in bed, figure it out.  Sorry if I am harsh, but these other posters are not tellling you the truth.  Wake up!!! Learn your lesson and don't do it again.

Also seems you have some kind of rescuer personality.  This is a dangerous view to take with people.  You will loose and the people being rescued will loose as well.

if u date kindagaten,u must folow read  A 4 Apple,u mean dat under age girl u dflowered wil nt test-run oda utility?i so sorry 4 u.
u r so selfish to want to chop alone,dot warry bro,keep sowing n keep reading B 4 Boy dat is wht u r

You can't play her games anymore. Good chance she's done him already but can't afford to leave u for some reason. Otherwise, I promise you it is just a matter of time. It has happened to me before and I was a total mugu abt it even tho I wasn't comfortable with it then. But I have learnt from my mistakes big time.

So guy get a grip on your relationship. Be the man, stop all the testing and BS suspicions u r doing. Tell her in simple fact, you do not want to see her in his room again( and of course, not in her room). That is, you do not want to see them together again. Else you walk, no questions asked nor apologies offered or accepted.  That is it. You don't hv to let things happen b4 u take action. It's either she chooses the other guy or u.

If you are going to let them be friends for any reason, they should meet in public places where people know you all can see them and assess whats btw them. Or maybe she hangs out with him only when you are there. What ever the case is, no behind the door meetings. Geez she keeps a guy company while he sleeps but leaves you to sleep alone. C'mon Dude!

Oga, ur also not innocent yourself.
Were u not the one looking for a lady to hook up with on NLand?

roots:

I want a lady who is

1.  4.8 feet tall,
2.  light in skin colour
3.  Intelligent
4.  Pretty
5.  Educated
etc

Karma bites.