My Boyfriend Say's He Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!

Ladies, please what would you do, if your boyfriend, based abroad, tells you that he has hired a detective agency to carry out a background check on you and investigate your activities?

Are there really such agencies in Nigeria? And are they really effective?

They are supposed to be able to tell whether you have ever had an abortion, e.t.c.

Guys, please, I need your opinions on this as well.

what happened to trust?

if he trusts you there's no need for a private eye

maybe he's doing much worse wherever he is .

What do you, of all people, need a boyfriend based abroad for?

And what is private about the "private" detective your boyfriend hired now that he has told you about it?
The detective in question is now a "public" detective. Your boyfriend is just trying to bully you into abstinence.

Seun, if I tell you I understand what is going on, I would be lying. But one thing is for sure, the guy is telling the truth! I would know if he was lying!

_{Private whatttt!} I guess this could be a plot to frighten the girl, but if this is really true then the guy is a SiCk dUdE.  That means, he doesn't trust the girl. I wouldn't take such rubbish, even if I have nothing to hide. TRUST is actually essential in any relationship, Afterall, the girl doesn't even know what and what the guy does.

Seun:

And what is private about the "private" detective your boyfriend hired now that he has told you about it?
The detective in question is now a "public" detective. Your boyfriend is just trying to bully you into abstinence.

lol so true


for one he is full of BS for him to lie to you like that. his private detective is his cousins. he prolly asked his family to keep an eye on u. and that is jus wrong wrong wrong, u guys arent even married yet and he is tripping already

Razorr dump  him simple

maybe he is trying to test you

he was prolly just messing wid u, maybe he told his siblings or cousin, mukia, ahannn dump ke

Private Detectives in Naija, now dats some news!
Girl, he's only trying to shake you up a little bit. Wants to see if you'd open up, and shake out a thousand skeletons in your closet.
Personally, I feel if he really loves you, the past shouldn't be a criteria in the relationship.
Have no fear at all.

1) we don't have private detectives in naija
2) we don't keep records in naija

there is almost no way your boyfriend can dig up your skeletons, short of befriending your old school mates.

i think he's being a little paranoid (maybe he's heard some horror stories from his friends about their gals in naija).
i know of at least two cases where agal had a guy in yankee, and she was getting it on with other guys back home like it was going out of style.

you need to find a way to convince him that you aren't fooling around on the cold nights while he's gone(you aren't ,are you?)

detective ke maybe he only asked his/her friends or even family member to just be an undercover
and why detective sef,everybody has his/her past and everybody have to deal with it.
ur B/F is only tripping maybe is scared of guys taking u from him

Razorr

what i have to say is, even if he hired somebody to watch you, why are u scared? are these private detectives going to harm you?

i think ur shaking because ur dating someone else or doing  some wrong things behind him and he's heard it thats why he is doing this. if your not conscience is clear, then you wount bother yourself about it.

it will only take a man who loves you to do this.

Coming from an objective point of vew - such a service does exsist and they do run back-ground checks into a person's life, employement, family, relationships - marriages/divorces, children, travel, studies, roommates, financies - banking, credit status and history, businesses - insolvencies/bankrupcy, criminial records/activities, health - hospital admissions, abortions, illnesses, blood types etc. Pretty much anything.

This service is available in the US and Europe, but more prominent in the US with new relationships and someone wanting to verify their partner's history before commitment of marriage for example. Also in this day n age - TRUST is overrated, marriages end due to the fact that a partner lied about their back-ground/history thereby making the other partner financially crippled, unable to have children, previously married with kids etc.

People do use this service, whether it is available in Nigeria and their accuracy is another question, but for a big brother State it is possible and freely offered if you know where to look.

@Aliob yeah dump

razorr listen to me  ok?

it will only take a man who loves you to do this.

There is nothing wrong with a little bit of possessiveness in a romantic relationship, but that is not really love.
Your statement is wrong because a man who is cheating on you can be even more possessive than one who is not!

mukina

why do u always get answers without calculation?

imagine what your saying?

Razorr
don't mind him oh

Seun

i agree with you but a man who does not love you will never waste his time in doing a thing like this (thats if razor's boyfriend is telling her the truth about the detectives )

First I would like to know if the guy is a Nigerian, even though it does not really affect my reply.

1. He might just be trying  to follow the adage: Attack is the best form of defence. From what I have observed about life, people that are suspicious of others ( excessively) fall into two categories: very sick ( mentally) or guilty of same.

2. Obviously, there is no trust on his part. Do you really want to get into marriage with such a person. You are not even married, and this is happening, I wonder what will happen when you guys are married; you will cease to exist.

My advice: Dump him.

You deserve better.

joyblinks:

mukina

why do u always get answers without calculation?

imagine what your saying?

Razorr
don't mind him oh

hey  she my pally ok?
i gave her my two cents
she's not yet married to him .he's hiring  by the time he maries her God knows  what will happen

Prof Ade

thanks you see what i saw

mukina

na u sabi sha

Prof ade, yea the guy is a Nigerian!

My question is, does this type of agency actually really exist in Nigeria? I was really shocked when he told me this because I think he is telling the truth!

I don't know whether to be angry or just ignore it!

Which is better?  

1)  Trusting someone and find out later that the person isn't faithful/loyal

OR

2) Having doubts and later realising that the person had always been faithful.

dont loose a sleep over this if you are faithfull. your conscience is your defence.

PDF:

Which is better?  
1)  Trusting someone and find out later that the person isn't faithful/loyal
OR
2) Having doubts and later realising that the person had always been faithful.

Neither - Trusting someone and them deserving and living up to that trust.

I have to agree with Joyblinks on this - if the guy doesn't care or wasn't looking to settle down with her he wouldn't bother going into all this trouble. Fact is we don't know the full story:
1. Has he got reasons to doubt Razorr's commitments and words?
2. Why is Razorr so concerned if she knows her heart n mind are clear?
3. What has the guy been through/put up with in the past?

Fact is hiring a private detective is not an easy process, time, money and energy would have been invested and if he's not for real that would then be very unlikely.

let me come in with a twist, why are u dating sbdy abroad?
where did u meet this guy? i think u have to share more info if u really want honest inputs.

In the first place , I don't think there are these kind of agents working effectively in Nigeria. To my understanding your guy is very possessive , this could be normal of an average in real love, he doesn't want to loose you and that is why I feel he is doing this. But come to think of it , I'm sure he didn't just do this , have you checked yourself as well. THE LILY DOES NOT DANCE ON THE RIVER WITHOUT THE RHYTHMIC MOVEMENT OF THE WATERS. Tell us razoor from where did all this start from?

Does that mean such agencies truly exist in nigeria? If yes, then are they efficient?  

Listen, I have not been cheating on him o! But I do not like this invasion of privacy! I am really annoyed!

Razorr:

Listen, I have not been cheating on him o! But I do not like this invasion of privacy! I am really annoyed!

why are you stressing urself?

D-U-M-P him

he's not worth ur time

Muki, are you sure about that? Should I really dump him and why?

Do u belief d guy, really i dont belief in that if actually u are confused just let me give u a way out. Meet  me on my mobile i will tell u how to go about it, just 4 u to know d guy is a joker which take u nigerian girls as u should know what i mean. 08036870243.

ur imidiate family members are private detective  UR FRIENDS ARE PRIVATE HUSBAND SNATCHERS all nigerians are praivate, AMEBOOS IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER