You might need to recall your science to understand this but here it goes


If you're reading this, congratulations on having achieved the primary goal with which we begin each day: You have avoided death.

We're big on this idea of not dying. We love stories of immortal vampires and invincible superheroes, each of us wishing on some level that was us. If we didn't have to worry about death, we could finally get Poo done.

But could we? If you take a moment to think about it, you realize immortality is grossly overrated.

(1) EVOLUTION WILL TURN YOU INTO A F.R.E.A.K[color=#990000][/color]


Contrary to what many people believe, humans are still evolving. That's not a big deal if you have the kind of immortality that only lasts 1,000 or 2,000 years, but of course real immortality means you'll still be walking the earth, in your current body, a million years from now.

Science has no idea where future mutations might lead us by that point, so it's anyone's guess what your neighbors will look like in the future. You, on the other hand, will be walking around as the future equivalent of thIS

Their bodies and brains are going to continue to adapt to an ever-changing world. Yours won't. Will your digestive system be able to handle the same food they eat? Will your brain enjoy the same entertainment? Will your non-evolved tongue even be able to speak the languages they speak in the year one million AD? Would an unfrozen caveman be able to do all of that now?

One thing we do know: You won't be getting any lovin'. It turns out that mother nature hates inter-species breeding, and is such a big cockblocker that science had to come up with a name to describe it: Reproductive Isolation. It's the reason there aren't packs of ligers or centaurs roaming around.

Of course, that's assuming that you're even safe walking around among the members of this new freak species. Will they treat you like a novelty and cast you in hilarious insurance commercials, like the Geico cavemen? Or will they do to you what current humans would do if they finally caught Sasquatch roaming around through the forests (that is, stick you in a zoo)? Though whatever the freak-species decides to do with you won't be as bad as no sex for the rest of your life. Who knows, maybe someone will decide to make you the donkey in their next show.

(2) NoBODY CAN EVER FIND OUT


Let's say some kid goes rummaging around in your basement, finds that witch's old portrait of you and discovers that you are immortal. Word spreads and suddenly you're famous the world over. Sure, a lot of people might not buy the story at first, but folks have become famous for much less.
Sounds pretty sweet, right? Probably get a reality show out of it. But that's just scratching the surface. You're not just going to be famous; you're going to be a god. You have eternal life, which means you must know the secret to eternal life, which means you will immediately be the center of the world's newest and most popular religion. You'll be like a guy revealing himself to be Jesus, and proving it. Why would anyone continue to worship an invisible deity when they have a god walking around amongst them? Each morning your yard will be packed full of several thousand terminally ill people, or parents with their sick kids, asking you to grant them the same immortality you have.


That, of course, is assuming a government or crime syndicate doesn't get to you first. Literally every powerful and wealthy person on Earth will decide that in your veins pumps the one thing they can't buy: freedom from death. They're not going to stop until they've spent every penny they can spare to see if they can turn your blood and organs into unending life for themselves. Think about the wars that are being fought over oil. The secret to eternal life would be worth far, far more.
So we're not talking about the occasional blood test and urine sample here and there while they let you stay in some five-star facility. It's more like you getting kidnapped and kept in some damp underground shack away from any civilization while they go balls out on your organs E.T.-style.


That, of course, is assuming a government or crime syndicate doesn't get to you first. Literally every powerful and wealthy person on Earth will decide that in your veins pumps the one thing they can't buy: freedom from death. They're not going to stop until they've spent every penny they can spare to see if they can turn your blood and organs into unending life for themselves. Think about the wars that are being fought over oil. The secret to eternal life would be worth far, far more.
So we're not talking about the occasional blood test and urine sample here and there while they let you stay in some five-star facility. It's more like you getting kidnapped and kept in some damp underground shack away from any civilization while they go balls out on your organs E.T.-style.



Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death_p1.html#ixzz0xUIpDVQE















Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death_p1.html#ixzz0xUFSEbGj

Gbam

Too long and dry

hisses in every dialect

^^ same here .

nellaluv:

^^ same here .

blacksta:

What?? Dyt taught me how to do that

teach u what - how to spam NL - LOL

someone give me the gist in a nutshell plssssssssssssssssssss!!

na joke section i they or i miss road?

Pls can i sleep

blacksta:

teach u what - how to spam NL - LOL

lmao

Nella where is d yim

@OP. . .Even your name tells that you are hungry! Owu gal

See d rubbish wen u dey post. Well I'm too sensible not to read past the first paragraph.

if any of you here complaining had actually read it, you would have a completely different opinion. its funny. and i did warn you that youd have to recall your science. apparently there are too many crystalized non flexible, non fluid intelligences and memories here. coupled with short attention span. i should have taken this joke to the science section. i know there are eficos like me there who would have understood it.

U v decided 2 b resurrectin long dead thread ryt?

Op are u done? Pls post some more reasons y u prefer death over life. . U never jam anything!

@poster:pls take dis to d DRY section

bright, ur jokes are the dryest in hia. . . . .

resurrect the joke? well it never died. if you just read it, maybe you'd appreciate it, but not if you dont have a science background. so you can leave it. and i am telling you you better read it, cos a day will come when they'd perfect life and people would live to infinity and when that day comes and you are still alive, you better have some knowledge so that you can deal with the situation.

Owu gal:

resurrect the joke? well it never died. if you just read it, maybe you'd appreciate it, but not if you dont have a science background. so you can leave it. and i am telling you you better read it, cos a day will come when they'd perfect life and people would live to infinity and when that day comes and you are still alive, you better have some knowledge so that you can deal with the situation.

Humans, as in scientists, perfect life? Are you for real?

You seem very much interested in immortality, but you're looking at it from a wrong perspective.

But I actually found your post funny.

ARareGem:

Humans, as in scientists, perfect life? Are you for real?

You seem very much interested in immortality, but you're looking at it from a wrong perspective.

But I actually found your post funny.

I am not interested in immortality at all. even gaan, I sometimes wish to die at 50, but only after having accomplished a great deal of great and beneficial things to this world. i dont want to become too fragile before i leave this world. and i dont want to become dependent on anyone. i just found the article funny thats why i posted it. but its good to finally meet another efico like myself who still reads articles more than a sentence long

^^Cheers

^she fell for your Gentle Lie, right?

I-read, , I-sleep, Its a "I'' Period now, RIP Stevie!!!

jackpot:

^she fell for your Gentle Lie, right?

I have no idea what you are talkn about.

Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a mans soul and faith And I was round when jesus christ Had his moment of doubt and pain.