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20 years age difference - does it really matter? - Romance - Nairaland

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20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 2:13pm On Jun 18, 2005
Hi folks, i was just wondering - would u go our with someone about 20yrs older? If yes, how do u intend to manage the relationship? If u're in an existing relationship and ur spouse is at least 10 yrs older, pls lets have ur contribution.

I went for a walk about half an hour ago and was approached by an old man- as in old enough to be my dad. Here goes our 2-minute conversation:

Old man: 'hello'

dablessed: Hi

Old man: Nigerian?

DB: yep

OM: Ok, r u ok?

DB: {walking away} yep thanks

OM: Pls wait, i just like u and would want u to be my friend.

DB: {Laughing} but u're old enough to be my dad

OM: It doesnt really matter, i promise to take care of you, at least better than all those youngsters.

DB: {laughing} Oh! it does matter to me SIR! Bye

OM: Byeee!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dominobaby(f): 6:33pm On Jun 18, 2005
well well well, 20 yrs older than i am? i can't imagine maself, ehn? that would be like a "sugar daddy" hell no!
I sure does matter because i like to relate like a friend to him and that aint possible because i would see him as an uncle. I can't be proud to date such person.
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 6:46pm On Jun 18, 2005
Thanks ojere dominobaby, dont mind the old papa, telling me "it aint matter" . He's just an agbaya ojere. But i want to believe he's not the only man on this planet that has ever approached a girl, young enough to be his grand daughter. NairandHIS where una dey? Esoro now, ( make una talk) will u toast a lady u're 20yrs older than or will u support one? Talk o! Talk!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mamba(m): 6:52pm On Jun 18, 2005
If you're 18, 20 or 25 and He's 38, 40 or 45 then it's ok.....

My cousin is 42, handsome, unmarried, rich and cool, just like a 25year old guy. He has so many girlfriends btw 19 and 25years that would do anything to be his wife so 20years between don't matter (IMO)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by funmibaby(f): 7:59pm On Jun 18, 2005
Me i dated someone who was 10 years old than me o and i would do it again. All that matters is the relationship you have between the two of you and the conversation between the two you. With my ex, i would even say he was my soulmate. Too bad, it just didn't work out.

I would have to say though, he didn't approach me like a pervert in the street........
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Ra(f): 11:03am On Jun 19, 2005
Umm dating someone significantly older is something that has been on from time immemorial. My dad (of ever loving and blessed memory) was 17 years older than my mum and they remain the best matched couple I have ever seen. 17 years and 20 years sounds the same to me.

I'm with someone who is 10 years older than me and absolutely prefer it to my last relationship where the guy was merely 2 years older and, needless to say, without a clue.

Now would I date a guy who is 20 years older? It would very much depend on the circumstances. A guy 20 years older who approached me in the way and manner the man in question approached you, a definite no! Nothing turns me off a guy faster than the condescending words 'I'll take care of you'. Implying that I look impoverished to him or could do with better care or what?

Other equally vital issues also come into play such as 'how will my family cope with a guy who's older than all my siblings and a mere 5 years younger than my mum?' 'Is he married, divorced with children?' The list is endless, really.

But then again, this is simply my personal opinion.
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by CorporateNija(m): 1:19am On Jun 20, 2005
Well I see no reason why a girl can't date a man much older than her. I am actually the product of such a relationship, and don't see where the problem is since they are still happy together. What really matter is the chemistry not the age. Love can transcend generational differences. Obviously I'd expect thata man that's so much older would apply more finesse and have a better approach that blurting out his intention in such fashion.
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Angelgal(f): 10:15am On Jun 20, 2005
Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by tayotina(f): 10:43am On Jun 20, 2005
20 years ke? Never!! Then on my wedding day, people would start asking why my daddy is in suit??   Abeg!!!!!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Ra(f): 5:26pm On Jun 20, 2005
tayotina......... you're something else.. grin
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mamba(m): 7:20pm On Jun 20, 2005
Angelgal:

Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
Me I don taya for the guy sef o!
I've even tried to hook him up with so many cool pretty girls but the guy keeps using them and refuses to marry any of them. When I got into serious yawa with the last chick(she almost killed me) I arranged for him ( He slept with the girl, made promisses and dumped her) I decided to fashi the guy o! I don't want yawa from any girl because of this old player.
Maybe cos he still looks cool (if we're walking together, people think we're friends and that he's 28 or something), that's what's deceiving him sha! The guy needs deliverance o! abeg help me pray for him o!!!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Pinky(f): 9:29pm On Jun 20, 2005
well well well! AM short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Seun(m): 9:55pm On Jun 20, 2005
Dad+Mum = Pinky? I am so surprised; I thought you were delivered by a stork!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by IAH(f): 10:01pm On Jun 20, 2005
Pinky:

well well well! AM  short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky

And Pinky + Pinky Bear = Pinky Junior!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Pinky(f): 10:05pm On Jun 20, 2005
IAH:

Pinky link=topic=506.msg6641#msg6641 date=1119299373:

well well well! AM  short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky

And Pinky + Pinky Bear = Pinky Junior!
tanx my dear, i pray so
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Pinky(f): 10:07pm On Jun 20, 2005
Seun:

Dad+Mum = Pinky?  I am so surprised; I thought you were delivered by a stork!
i dont get seun, stork as in......?
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Angelgal(f): 8:22am On Jun 21, 2005
Pinky no mind Seun....trying to bring in oyibo mentality into our naija gist....

The oyibos have a myth or fairytale or whatever that the stork (It's a bird by the way) delivers babies the way you get courier mail from DHL.....

Now this explanation is wack.....but I think you understand what I mean now.... grin
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by tayotina(f): 9:15am On Jun 21, 2005
mamba:

Angelgal link=topic=506.msg6490#msg6490 date=1119258945:

Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
[I]Me I don taya for the guy sef o![/I]
The guy needs deliverance o! abeg help me pray for him o!!!

Don't worry mamba, let me have his phone number wink
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 2:35pm On Jun 21, 2005
Calling for help! Let's organise a deliverance service for Mamba's uncle o! Right here in the forum!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mosiate(f): 4:55pm On Jun 21, 2005
i can only date a man who is 20yrs older than me if only he's going to be my aristole or sugar daddy for the main time,but i can never marry him oooooo
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 5:43pm On Jun 21, 2005
mosiate:

I can only date a man who is 20yrs older than me if only he's going to be my aristole or sugar daddy for the main time,but I can never marry him oooooo

Mosiate, i fear u o! Be careful with your Aristo rolleyess o!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mosiate(f): 5:48pm On Jun 21, 2005
dablessed don't fear me oh,i don't have any aritole yet, i'm just thinking of having one,maybe mamba uncle will do. rolleyes
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 5:59pm On Jun 21, 2005
mosiate:

dablessed don't fear me oh,I don't have any aritole yet, I'm just thinking of having one,maybe mamba uncle will do. rolleyes


Why an Aristole? And why Mamba's uncle? Doesn't it matter to u that even Mamba himself said his uncle needs deliverance? U no fear?
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mamba(m): 7:26pm On Jun 21, 2005
Tayotina/Mosiate

I know you are both fine babes as per your posts and I'll only warn you to stay away from this guy o!

You might be thinking of Aristo runs but this guy doesn't look like a sugar daddy in any way.
He looks very young, well built, handsome, sexy and got $$$, charm & style.
By the time you start rolling with this guy, he'll lead you on and you'll start falling for him, the guy knows how to play his game well and he's very deceptive with his cool, and calm way.
He'll just tap ur Bottom till he's tired and dump you like garbage regardless of how pretty you are.

The last girl, my (childhood friend) has refused to talk to me for 3months now cos of this guy, she keeps saying that I planned it all just to mess up her life cos I was the one that did the arrangee! besides, there are two other girls on my neck too...

The guy is based in L.A but comes to Nija regularly for trips....
If you still wanna try something funny we can continue this jist via PM, I'll give you his number abroad or you can just wait till he comes to Nija b4 X-mas.
I'm sure if I tell him there's one pretty/sexy Tayotina or Mosiate chick that wants to meet him , he wouldn't even mind travelling just to have fun.
But I just wanna remind you that I'm not a part of this deal and whatever happens, I'm not to be blamed cos I'm already in enough yawa for now.
Even his old momsie (my Aunt) has tried to hook him up several times but he always uses them and dumps them sadly.......
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by dablessed(f): 7:32pm On Jun 21, 2005
Ha! Omase o! The guy needs deliverance for real. Tayotina/Mosiate, una still wan try? You no go flee?
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by sage(m): 7:57pm On Jun 21, 2005
At 42. thatz too bad. I guess the western lifestyle has influenced him so bad he does not even know that he is going down the drain. Arrainging chicks 4 him would not help him realise himself mamba. He needs to be told to wake up. if he were 26 and playing it is understandable but 42! There is my friend here whose uncle is over 50 and still sleeps in ahotel every night, does not have a degree, family or good job. All he is intrested in is woman after woman each night at that age.
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Pinky(f): 8:45pm On Jun 21, 2005
mamba, ur uncle's really going down the drain like sade said.. he's got misplaced priorities..... & if u re not careful, u re gonna get part of curses rained on him by those girls u do arrangee with for him.. if ur uncle doesnt realise his mistakes, very soon, he'll be wallowing in self pity.
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mamba(m): 9:28pm On Jun 21, 2005
Pinky:

if you re not careful, you re going to get part of curses rained on him by those girls you do arrangee with for him..
I know so and I'm no longer a party to arangee for him..
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by Pinky(f): 12:43am On Jun 22, 2005
ciara:

speechless,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,em,em I live in a hotel nd these things happen 2 me nd my sistrs lyk erday,,,I
ciara why not tell us ur own personal experience since u said it happens to u everyday in that hotel u re sleeping in
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by legs(f): 7:37am On Jun 22, 2005
ciara:

well only girls like tayotina wud do,dem ova matured girls,ts 2 bad,tina you shud b old enof 2 settle dwn,,,thnk bout it nd dnt spred em legs 4 a grey head,,ud loose your beauty + ud age real fast...

shuwepps!
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter? by mosiate(f): 9:20am On Jun 22, 2005
mamba,why is your uncle like that or are you just trying to paint him red,any way that doesn't make me to change my mind,a trial i know will defintely convince me.(na joke ohooooo) grin

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