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I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back - Romance - Nairaland

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I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:12pm On Mar 20, 2019
Good evening everyone. I am going to keep this as short as possible because I wouldn't want to bore you with irrelevant information.

Dated this amazing lady for a year which was one of the best moments of my relationship life but I flopped with my insecurities and Jealousy which made her lose interest in me. I stopped being her "kind of guy" due to these distasteful actions of mine and we broke up two months ago.

The thing is, I have had another relationship after the break up but I can't seem to be able to get over her because she is one in a thousand (reason why I loved her in the first place).

Throughout the space of two months, we didn't have any form of communication until two days ago when I sent a text apologizing for my behavior during the breakup saga (I got emotional and said things I shouldn't have). She replied my text yesterday saying she had forgiven me because she knew I did those things due to the fact I was hurt and in her words "Time heals all wounds I guess"

We haven't had any other conversation since yesterday but I want to get her back. I felt since she replied my text with a positive "tone" I might be able to work things out with her.

Please I really need an advice because this lady means so much to me.

24 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by greatnaija01: 7:15pm On Mar 20, 2019
dude to be able to know U were wrong and OWN up to it, mehn... YOU BE REAL MAN. I salute you.

BUT the issue is complex a little.
QUESTIONS that may make her not want to "try again" with u

1) Have you dealt with your insecurites and issues OR you miss her because she had a better way of COPING with you?

2) In the last two months, HAVE U MATURED psychologically? HAVE U stopped reacting childishly to things?

3) IF SHE GIVES YOU A SECOND CHANCE, what would you do differently that will ensure the FIRST break up does not repeat itself again?

4) Are you dating her with plans for the future or just to "KIP KIP" and see how it goes?

5) In what way would you help her HEAL and MOVE ON from the hurt you have caused her?

BRO, if you can critically answer these questions in YOUR HEART... you will get her back quickly.

SECURITY is very important to ladies in relationship o.


BalleyB:
Good evening everyone. I am going to keep this as short as possible because I wouldn't want to bore you with irrelevant information.

Dated this amazing lady for a year which was one of the best moments of my relationship life but I flopped with my insecurities and Jealousy which made her lose interest in me. I stopped being her "kind of guy" due to these distasteful actions of mine and we broke up two months ago.

The thing is, I have had another relationship after the break up but I can't seem to be able to get over her because she is one in a thousand (reason why I loved her in the first place).

Throughout the space of two months, we didn't have any form of communication until two days ago when I sent a text apologizing for my behavior during the breakup saga (I got emotional and said things I shouldn't have). She replied my text yesterday saying she had forgiven me because she knew I did those things due to the fact I was hurt and in her words "Time heals all wounds I guess"

We haven't had any other conversation since yesterday but I want to get her back. I felt since she replied my text with a positive "tone" I might be able to work things out with her.

Please I really need an advice because this lady means so much to me.

203 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:16pm On Mar 20, 2019
Lalasticlala, I will really be glad if you'd help me out. I don't want to make a mistake or not take this chance and later regret in future.
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Nobody: 7:17pm On Mar 20, 2019
You never know what you have until you lose it.

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by sapeleboi(m): 7:17pm On Mar 20, 2019
go straight to her and talk sense into her brain

6 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by ElsonMorali: 7:20pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:
Lalasticlala, I will really be glad if you'd help me out. I don't want to make a mistake or not take this chance and later regret in future.

You have just one opportunity to get this right and it can't be done over the phone.
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:20pm On Mar 20, 2019
ariketalks:
You never know what you have until you lose it.

I placed a lot of value on her. I was only being childish with the way I get jealous and create issues where there was none.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:24pm On Mar 20, 2019
sapeleboi:
go straight to her and talk sense into her brain
I'd rather seek a more mature way of handling serious relationships

2 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:25pm On Mar 20, 2019
ElsonMorali:


You have just one opportunity to get this right and it can't be done over the phone.

I can't just call her and except everything to be cool after 8 weeks of no contact. I felt texting was a basic way of getting her attention.
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Davash222(m): 7:26pm On Mar 20, 2019
Quiet your mouth . You only miss her sexx game.

25 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by ifex370(m): 7:28pm On Mar 20, 2019
You had her and you lost her.. You don't deserve her

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by lilmax(m): 7:29pm On Mar 20, 2019
mumu

you miss her breast

but as usual, Nigerian guys flop because of sex, it controls them,same with money

remove sex and money now, most of them will be depressed immediately

look at this one now grin

44 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:34pm On Mar 20, 2019
Davash222:
Quiet your mouth . You only miss her sexx game.

Like I stated, I had someone else after the breakup. This isn't about sex.

ifex370:
You had her and you lost her.. You don't deserve her

We all make mistakes. Our mistakes doesn't define who we are.

7 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:35pm On Mar 20, 2019
lilmax:
mumu

you miss her breast

but as usual, Nigerian guys flop because of sex, it controls them,same with money

remove sex and money now, most of them will be depressed immediately

look at this one now grin

Why are you acting so uncultured?

You think everything is about sex and money? Smh

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by ElsonMorali: 7:36pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:


I can't just call her and except everything to be cool after 8 weeks of no contact. I felt texting was a basic way of getting her attention.

Well, you've gotten the attention. Whether you get to keep that attention depends on what you do next, how you do it, and when you do it.

If you let too much time pass between your first communication and the next, it sends a signal of unseriousness to her.

Call her and ask her (most humbly) that she grant you an audience as you feel bad about the way things ended between you.

Then take her out on a date to her favorite spot or a place that holds good and special memories for both of you. And go, prepared to spend some dough. Drop your ego at home and put up your best attitude, the one she fell in love with.

She probably is also missing you, so give it your best shot. Good luck.

60 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Jcole1985(m): 7:47pm On Mar 20, 2019
This is what I call a by-pass,next time plug your wires into the prepaid meter directly by going to meet her father than by by-passing by dealing with the daughter.OP if it isn't marriage leave our girl alone,stop putting san san for another man future garri.

19 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:49pm On Mar 20, 2019
greatnaija01:
dude to be able to know U were wrong and OWN up to it, mehn... YOU BE REAL MAN. I salute you.

BUT the issue is complex a little.
QUESTIONS that may make her not want to "try again" with u

1) Have you dealt with your insecurites and issues OR you miss her because she had a better way of COPING with you?
I found a way of dealing with my issues. I was overprotective because she is that kind of woman every guy in his right mind will want to build a future with (career woman)


2) In the last two months, HAVE U MATURED psychologically? HAVE U stopped reacting childishly to things?

Not a 100%. Instead I found out a way of communicating maturely without bringing issues. This is me being sincere

3) IF SHE GIVES YOU A SECOND CHANCE, what would you do differently that will ensure the FIRST break up does not repeat itself again?

She feel in love with my personality at first. That kept her focused and attracted. It all faced away with thr frequent fights due to my insecurites (which isn't attractive)


4) Are you dating her with plans for the future or just to "KIP KIP" and see how it goes?

Right from the moment we started dating, it has always been futuristic. It was never a casual relationship.


5) In what way would you help her HEAL and MOVE ON from the hurt you have caused her?

I think I have to be a better version of myself. Someone she once loved as her man.

But to be honest, I am just scared she might have moved on already.

6 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by greatnaija01: 7:53pm On Mar 20, 2019
IF SHE HAS MOVED ON then she NEVER LOVED U.

so relax and plan your shot well.

BalleyB:

I found a way of dealing with my issues. I was overprotective because she is that kind of woman every guy in his right mind will want to build a future with (career woman)




Not a 100%. Instead I found out a way of communicating maturely without bringing issues. This is me being sincere



She feel in love with my personality at first. That kept her focused and attracted. It all faced away with thr frequent fights due to my insecurites (which isn't attractive)




Right from the moment we started dating, it has always been futuristic. It was never a casual relationship.




I think I have to be a better version of myself. Someone she once loved as her man.

But to be honest, I am just scared she might have moved on already.

3 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:53pm On Mar 20, 2019
ElsonMorali:


Well, you've gotten the attention. Whether you get to keep that attention depends on what you do next, how you do it, and when you do it.

If you let too much time pass between your first communication and the next, it sends a signal of unseriousness to her.

Call her and ask her (most humbly) that she grant you an audience as you feel bad about the way things ended between you.

Then take her out on a date to her favorite spot or a place that holds good and special memories for both of you. And go, prepared to spend some dough. Drop your ego at home and put up your best attitude, the one she fell in love with.

She probably is also missing you, so give it your best shot. Good luck.

I was hoping to text her tomorrow about a spot we visited sometimes 2018 which I revisited earlier today. Then if she replies, I'll ask her if it is alright to call.

From there I might convince her to unblock me on whatsapp then proceed with the rapport for a week maybe before asking for a date.

I don't want her giving me the red signals yet. Good idea?

5 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:54pm On Mar 20, 2019
Jcole1985:
This is what I call a by-pass,next time plug your wires into the prepaid meter directly by going to meet her father than by by-passing by dealing with the daughter.OP if it isn't marriage leave our girl alone,stop putting san san for another man future garri.

Are you married?
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 7:56pm On Mar 20, 2019
greatnaija01:
IF SHE HAS MOVED ON then she NEVER LOVED U.

so relax and plan your shot well.


Thanks. I will send a text tomorrow.

She is a very busy person do I don't want it to seem like I'm bugging her.
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Jcole1985(m): 7:58pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:

Are you married?
Yes

1 Like

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 8:00pm On Mar 20, 2019
Jcole1985:

Yes

You don't have a mature mind. Your previous comment shows that

5 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by shyman03(m): 8:01pm On Mar 20, 2019
go chok garri
Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Jcole1985(m): 8:03pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:

You don't have a mature mind. Your previous comment shows that
Neither do you,your attitude towards that girl shows that.

11 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by ifex370(m): 8:10pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:


Like I stated, I had someone else after the breakup. This isn't about sex.



We all make mistakes. Our mistakes doesn't define who we are.


There are some mistakes you can't make if you truly know what you want..

Allow her be with someone else, you've had your chance

6 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 8:28pm On Mar 20, 2019
Jcole1985:

Neither do you,your attitude towards that girl shows that.
I'm improved. Are you?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by BalleyB: 8:29pm On Mar 20, 2019
ifex370:



There are some mistakes you can't make if you truly know what you want..

Allow her be with someone else, you've had your chance

Is that what you do whenever you make mistakes? Give up?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Jcole1985(m): 8:31pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:
I'm improved. Are you?
Yeah,you just got to my past level

11 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by Curvinus(m): 8:48pm On Mar 20, 2019
ifex370:



There are some mistakes you can't make if you truly know what you want..

Allow her be with someone else, you've had your chance

Op this is the best answer you can get here. Obviously your instincts convinced you that the girl you had high hopes for was slipping away and you turned possessive based on what you observed. So saying you acted out of order just because you feel lonely and miserable now is in effect trying to say your intuition is wrong, which usually is not true in most cases.

For instance, if truly as you said, she is what every man would want to keep, what then makes you think other men are not trying hard to get hold of her and she not stylishly entertaining these men?

But, it would seem that you have managed to convince yourself that neutering your gender alliance is what will eventually get to keep her. Well, not everyone will agree with you on that but its your choice to make.

4 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by ElsonMorali: 10:33pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB:


I was hoping to text her tomorrow about a spot we visited sometimes 2018 which I revisited earlier today. Then if she replies, I'll ask her if it is alright to call.

From there I might convince her to unblock me on whatsapp then proceed with the rapport for a week maybe before asking for a date.

I don't want her giving me the red signals yet. Good idea?

Well, you know her better than I do. Most often our instincts are always right. So go with your gut feeling. Turn up the TLC or whatever makes her smile. Leave her in no doubt that you miss her and want her back. Now's not the time to be coy. If she expresses doubts, let her know that you know that you've been a jerk and that you are ready to up your game with her.
You know her temperament, and you know what will work with her. Go get your woman.

2 Likes

Re: I Pushed Her Away With My Attitude Now I Want Her Back by 6660M0666: 10:40pm On Mar 20, 2019
BalleyB,
Are you in Lagos?.
It sounds like we are in a relationship with the same person?

13 Likes 2 Shares

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