My fiance's younger sister doesn't seem to like me. When i call her, she's always busy and will call me back later, but would never call. I'm a reserved kind of person and when i keep to myself and don't call her, she tells her mom and my fiance's mom always go on about me not calling my iya oko(thts my fiance's younger sister). The older sisters are always so nice to me, calling me even if i don't and his mom too. It's only the younger sister that's always giving me ''attitude''

She called my fiance recently and was talking about me, he raked for her and dropped the call on her, but he didn't tell me exactly wot she said about me.

I feel funny about this and i don't know how to react to her, she wants me to call her ''sister or aunty'' so so (and i okayed it cuz she's older than me anywayz by 2yrs+)

i have really hit the wall with her, and i don't know how else to behave to her.

You really need to try and avoid her cause she will always cause a rift between you and your husband / his family.

As per the 'aunty' business, just try nd have maybe a nickname for her or call her 'sister'.

She is really jealous of you cause you have shifted her brother's attention from her to yourself - what she is doing is just a normal reaction.

However, dont let her go over the top - call her, sit her down and tell her you wanna get along with her for the sake of the family and if she is still acting up - then try your best to avoid her (it will be tough) but try to do that otherwise you will have a confrontation that you do not need.

Thanks adeboo, she isn't even hiding her jealousy at all, atleast i have brothers as well and i get on well with their wifes and girlfriends, so i don't see any reason why she should be beefing me for no reason. She's got a fiance too, why is she then jealous ?
Ile oko, ile eko ma ni o, smthg wey she no fit talk to me on a gd day if b say we met on neutral levels. Anywayz for the sake of peace, i've bin calling her sister so so, but when its me and my man, i call her by name o.

Can you imagine her asking her brother(my fiance), when she heard we were getting married soon, if he really likes me enuff to tht extent. He told her, he doesnt like me, and she was like , wat ? he said I love her. . . maybe its because of how my man shows me off in front of them(he does evrywhr and to evryone o).

I've decided to keep to myself, cause i believe i've tried my best. I don't dislike her at all, just that i hope she doesn't do more than she's trying to do now after we're married.

I behaved like a total bitch to my favourite brothers girlfriend/fiancee even though secretly I really liked her. I was just jealous. But then I was only 12 years old and we all do stupid things at that age.

She is an adult and should know better.She sounds very immature to be jealous. Just ignore her behaviour. I'm sure her family are embarrassed by her and admire your cool head.

Darling, you're going through one of the most natural things ever.

But what can i say Adeboo took my mouth.

She's just jealous of the fact that her bro loves you that much, which makes the love for her less (you know last born kids and their ever hunger for pampering lol, no matter how old they've become) One thing she gets blinded to, is that her brother still loves her dearly, just not showing it the same way.

Most of them grow to get used to the situation, esp after the wedding and she sees and believes you really mean no harm. I hope that for you, but dear either way, though i know it could be upsetting and hurting, try your best to ensure peace, you can talk to her too like Adeboo said, if at the end of the day she still doesn't change, then let her be (its not like you can force her to accept you anyway, and if she will, let her love the you that you are now, andnot the one you'll become to please her). You can't be loved by the whole world anyway, no matter how you try. But i believe she'll come around!!"

She's either been this protective towards her brother to others that came along, or her brother hasn't loved any like he loves you, either way, give her more time. She'll adapt

I agree with english one and cute-ass

just keep your cool with her and don't start becoming bitchy to her.

The most important thing is the relationship between you and your hubby.

no matter how bad his sister is, if you start being bitchy to her he will find it hard to always take your side.

As the years go on in your marriage the sister will realise you are there to stay whether she likes it or not and you will both work out a way to get along (not necessarily best of friends but at least a civil relationship with each other.)
as you said 'ile oko ile eko ni'. 9yrs into my marriage i can tell you I have become a politician when it comes to my in-laws. i'm sure your sister in law has her good points with time you will see more of the good side.

@ English 1
you're so right, at her age, she's still behaving like a spoilt brat, what rubbish!!
When the poster said, the sister in law was 2yrs older than herself, i couldn't believe my ears eyes, damn hilarious The sister-in-law deserves an award ooh lol!! By now.as old as she is, she definitely should have out-grown the attitude


@ Doubletree

abi my sister?? whether she likes it or not Who asked her sef?? *sighs*. But i hope for the sake of our poster, the lady changes for better sooner than later

Thanks 'y'all. I'll try my best to give her the required respect and i hope she doesn't overstep her boundary. We hardly talk anywayz, and when we do its all formal and within a minute the phone conversation is over.

hmmm, na wa oh

I've been trying to call her oh, but she's either not picking her call or her phone is switched off, got to talk with her atlast and she goes'' i'll call you back later, i'm busy right now'', ever since (that was like 2 weeks ago) she hasn't called back. Talked with my fiance mom today, and she was like '' so so says she hasn't heard from you in ages, why haven't you called her'' I felt like saying why can't she call me once for a change if she's so missing me as such. Goodness! she sounds like you're disturbing her with your call and she keeps saying to her mom, titi doesnt call me. Said i'll call her tonight just for peace, but i aint calling s**t! she can sod off !! We're both in the same country so we both spend the same amount to call.

don't get angry. call her. small talk won't kill you-how are you,work etc,just called to say hi.less than a min conversation.

let it be seen especially to your mum in law that you are making an effort.

you are lucky ur mum in law is nice to you.try and keep it that way.

the sister is trying to get some rxn out of you so she can have something to say about you.

be patient the girl will tire!and leave you alone.

@ doubletree

girl, still speaking my mind.

The best medicine is to beat your "enemy" (not that she's your enemy though )at their own game.

She's lookingfor faults to perch on and make you look bad, well you'll give no room for faults. Your tracks will be fully covered. You'll leave no stones uncovered, Cos on the "judgement" day, you wouldn't want to be found wanting.

You already told/promised your mother-in-law you'd call right? well you have to, if nothing, out of respect for the lady
It'll take nohing from you, but it'll make you a good name down the road. Your tiny peaceful advances towards her will sooner or later make her feel like a fool, so keep on keeping.

She thinks she smarter? well you're smarter, she thinks she stands high and tall? well flash news for her, you stand taller and higher.

Dear, know this: there can not be two mad people on stage at the same time, so let her have the floor, while you have the victory!!!!!!!!

dont try to please her
ur marrying her brother not her,
dont think bout it ; as long as u make ur husband happy u have nothing to worry about

i dont know wat is wrong with ur sister in-law anyways, abi she wan marry her brother

doubletree:

let it be seen especially to your mum in law that you are making an effort.

Good talk.

Call her and if she tells you she's busy, be calm and end the conversation nicely.
Next day, call your mum-in-law and while talking with her, just mention in passing that you called Sister Bleep y'day but she was busy then. Don't complain about her attitude at all. Repeat the process about 2 other times but on the 3rd occassion, request your mum-in-law to pleeeeaaassee remind her to call you when she's freer. Thereafter, if she doesn't call you, just call her once a while until everyone settles in because you both will settle to a rhythm at some point in time.

You've shown a lot of wisdom by calling her sister as she prefers.

Enjoy the game! 

Girl, you have to assert yourself, and dont let that girl walk over you. If you are willing to cave into her childish demands, then be prepared for a confrontation in your matrimonial home, when "aunty" starts ordering you around the house, dictating to you, on what dishes to prepare for your husband, the quantity of salt and pepper to add for rice and stew, and all that. You really need to stand up and put and end to this demands. If she does not like you, after you have extended the welcome mat for her, well, that is HER problem, not yours.

e no hard poison her abi u get another option?

you dont need to be mean back. but just a reminder: you are marrying her brother, not her!

Thanks for all the replies, i'll take your advice and call her this evening, i bet she'd be ''busy and will call me back later as usual''. But i'll do as cool advised

Cool:

Next day, call your mum-in-law and while talking with her, just mention in passing that you called Sister Bleep y'day but she was busy then. Don't complain about her attitude at all. Repeat the process about 2 other times but on the 3rd occassion, request your mum-in-law to pleeeeaaassee remind her to call you when she's freer. Thereafter, if she doesn't call you, just call her once a while until everyone settles in because you both will settle to a rhythm at some point in time.

Thanks y'all again, i'll keep you posted .

Keep trying,she'll open up to u, and its best to be on the same page with her, since she'll be ur future sis in law, so try all u can to be her pal.wish u luck.

Dearest one, kindly focus on your man and the part of his family that appreciates you.
in every thing, you will by all means get an oppositon party, so don't worry. it's a nutural thing.

be hard to her too, that is the only way she will be cool with u any other way will amount to nonsense. this is 4rm my experience, when my girl was not finding it easy with younger sister, we try to please her but she never bend.when we use hard 4 hard she became her close friend now. she may be doing that because u are cool 4 her

It looks to me like you really send this girl a lot, on top of all this embarrassment. I trust myself i will just be acting like she does not exist, let her do her worst and am sure the lil brat cant do nothing, she is probably just an empty vessel.Just take it easy girl and once you are sure your man really loves you then the spoilt brat is negligible. Am so glad my boyfriend has got no sisters.

aysometin:

Am so glad my boyfriend has got no sisters.

Dats so funnie?!

Antways, jst be u geri, fashie d chic n her ways, u say she also has a fiancee, wel guess wot? she get wot she's dishing out in d nastiest way ever>>>

wonder why you are giving yourself hypertension over what is not, u have called her first second third time , she promised to call back, she didnt , and still u want to call her again, shy do u all add sentiments to things , just bone her, stop the call , infact dont call her for 3months, u will see she will be the one calling u. as for me o, i wont take dat from her NEVER. or maybe she feeling you are forcing yourself to her bros , you said she has her own fiancee, so why is she jealous?

How are you doing?

There are two things you should remember as an african woman ,
1. When it comes to in-laws; you can't win.

2. Go with the flow; call her whatever she wants as long as there is peace between the two of you, this shoul not be a problem sinc she is older than you anyway.
I have been married for 4 years and my husband and i dated for about 10 years and believe me a lot happened in that time.

Trust me you will definitely see a drastic change if you comply.

Just be yourself. If you have the kinds of sisters-in-law I have, you wouldn't bother calling her. Even if you wash her panties, the hatred will remain. Just maintain your peace, don't exchange bitter words, call sister this or that if she is your senior and nothing beyond that unless you want to start taking orders and bullshit from her. A word is enough

fashlak:

wonder why you are giving yourself hypertension over what is not, u have called her first second third time , she promised to call back, she didnt , and still u want to call her again, shy do u all add sentiments to things , just bone her, stop the call , infact don't call her for 3months, u will see she will be the one calling u. as for me o, i wont take that from her NEVER. or maybe she feeling you are forcing yourself to her bros , you said she has her own fiancee, so why is she jealous?

wonder why she's stressing herself
very soon she'll get engaged and face thesame music
what goes around comes around

Babe, the onus is on your bloke to take control of this situation. This is an all too common scenerio in NG relationships, sisters lording itover future and incumbent sisters-in-law. Your partner has to put his family in check, yes we all want the 'they lived happily ever after' story but it isnt a reality for all.
He has to realise that his priorities automatically shift from sister and mother to you and let the others know where the line is drawn. A line that shouldnt be crossed especially when it leads to disrespecting one's missus

maybe becos she know u.
   you know women are funny animals u never know where u are with them. women have more moods than an army of cats have life.
   all these u sis inlaw knows that is why.  SHE NO TRUST U

Dear dear, Well What can i say but that it is well. You can never satisfy her so please dont try , i mean dont try , she is a woman anyway so what goes around comes around, she will also get married lets see if she will do better with her inlaws abi. ANyway girl keep being yourself, you cannot decide to be some one else because of her . If you keep trying to please her, she 'll end up
bossing you all you married life . Anyway all the best in with your Hubby .

Cool:
Quote from: Cool on Today at 12:26:35 AM
Next day, call your mum-in-law and while talking with her, just mention in passing that you called Sister Bleep y'day but she was busy then. Don't complain about her attitude at all. Repeat the process about 2 other times but on the 3rd occassion, request your mum-in-law to pleeeeaaassee remind her to call you when she's freer. Thereafter, if she doesn't call you, just call her once a while until everyone settles in because you both will settle to a rhythm at some point in time.

Best advice, ever! In fact, follow-up the calls with nice, short text messages. Make sure you also copy your fiance's mum & other sisters, too.

When your fiance's younger sister says that you didn't call her, just smile & tell her politely, that:
"Ah, but I did now! I also followed it up with a text, when I couldn't reach you.  I even sent similar texts on that same day, to Mama and Sis. X. Or have you forgotten?"

Make sure you have an audience, when you are doing it. Then calmly whip out your phone, scroll to the 'messages sent' folder & pick out the text that has her name on it. Show it to those around. Simple. Sense no dey finish for this world, make we come dey find am go heaven. Na proverb, my people.

why do u need to please her?
treat her like u would treat ur own difficult sister, how she reacts is not in ur control.
a beg, just be urself! all the best for nuptials