Sex before marriage is sin but there is room for forgiveness. The church is right but the couples can't be condemned neither. Others should learn from this anyway.

ow11 Sour grapes! Rules are made no matter how inconsiderate and irresponsible they may seem to some people. However, if you are a member of a group, you are usually aware of the rules and should not scream blue murder when you run foul to such rules.

In an undemocratic setting like a church, it is even worse as the only right you have is to simply walk away. Your friend had no business wasting the time of the pastors. Since he knew his fiancée was pregnant, he should have quietly sought a church where such rules are not enforced to do his thing instead of making you get worried over nothing and create a thread as such.

On the other hand, born-again Christians are not supposed to have intimacy but non-virgins are allowed to get born again and as such renders a chastity test moot in the event of checking for signs of backsliding. Whether the church has the right to physically ensure its members are following the teachings of Jesus is another kettle of fish and should normally be beyond the scope of this thread.

ow11 you answered the question well oh,adults should learn to act as adults and be ready to take responsibility for their actions rather than looking for any institution or individual to blame

am not suprised

most people marrying, have had all kind of wild insane animal violent 5ex tooo many times,

and how does that stop them from marrying

if the church denies me and my wife, i will simply move

by the way, i am not worshipping the man, its God.

they take ur tithes, ur firstfruit offerings, covenant offerings, and dont bother to ask if u have stolen the money or killed sum1 for it

and when it comes to this they are claiming righteous


as for me, trad na the key!!! if u do the trad stuff, she is recognised by ur village peeps and kindred,

u can also do court

i dont see the point in it - the fact that a woman is pregnant does not indicate that the couples have not been making love so what's the point?

wait o - so who married pastor odukoya?

or are tests like these only for the flock and not for the sheperds

98% of the comments support this act of disobedience to the church rules. which means such act sholud be allowed in the church. If yes, it means church moral stand will degenerate and disciple will be counted for nothing among the church members.
Our country leadership today has also supported impunity to corruption charges, that is why we see those charged for such deeds walking freely without been punished, it will be same thing if the d church fail to act on such vital isssue.
Moral decadance in the society will never be allowed in d church.
The church is right because they must gone thru the church teaching on dating,courtship, marriage and family lfe.

Nonsense, the church and their pastors can go to hell

[b][size=18pt] Bunkom!  

This is overt abuse and invasion of people's privacy. People leaving themselves open to be abused by these so called Righteous men of God = Pharisees!

You see, na you go look for their trouble, if you hadn't gone to their church you wouldn't be hearing this nonsense.  There are churches everywhere to worship God in therefore, na their loss not yours.  As they loose, another church will gain.

May I ask the so called church leaders, what if, a guy has been living in sin with his girlfriend and has had 7 children out of that relationship and now, wants to do the right thing by marrying the lady - the mother of his children. What would the church say or do then? I would like to know this one.   

Would they say no she is not a virgin?    Obviously, both of them never claimed they were and now the church is condemning them and their children - is it??  Overt hypocrisy!!!!!  Well, I sorry for people who worship in such churches.

May I suggest you get out of this church and marry your lady in a church that understand 'Tolerance' because, our God is not only a God of mercy and tolerance but also, a liberal God.  

If God isn't merciful, tolerant and liberal with his children and with all the sins we his children commit every minute of the day including the Pastors, Apostles and Elders of this Church, we all would have been dead and disappeared under the surface of this earth, don't you reckon?
PLEASE, LEAVE THE CHURCH AND GO ELSEWHERE TO MARRY YOUR LADY OR WAIT UNTIL BABY IS BORN AND DO IT THEN.  

Finally, never you let another human being be an obstacle in your path to progress because they are nothing but, agents of satan - who dislike progress.  

Good luck with the baby when he/she arrives![/size][/b]

orangemen:

@poster,
with your id, are u sure u are a christian talkless of been from redeem?

@topic,
churches are built on doctrines and a doctrine is a led down rules and regulations design for the consumption of members. there is no questioning this and that is why many churches are coming up from here and there bcs their original headquatters are not ready to shift grounds on these doctrines.

some of the questions that demand answers include;

1. what if a brother  inpregnants a sister by mistake?
2. what if members have been using condoms?
3. what if the pregnant ones go for abortions prior to their weddings?
4. wat abt brothers who sleep outside reserving the finacees for marriage?
5. wat if everyother churches reject these pregnant women?
6. how does the laws of man differentiate from the laws of God?

i have been thinking that christianity teaches members on what to do without forcing them to do same as it is in islam. christians have been paying more attentions to the laws of the churches more than to God's instructions these days.
most christians are afraid to drink or smoke in the presence of other members not minding what God will think abt them.
the pregnant bride today is a sinner before other members while those who were not caught in the act are saints and have the praises of the church.
time has come for our churches to bring members closer to God than the doctrines of their churches. how many christians of our time are virgins?
i think it will be more important to do the preaching and teaching for which we have been called and let God be the judge over men.
it is obvious that Christ never rejected any while on earth and as christians, we must learn to live like our Christ who said he came for the sinners.

Even when i'm so fukkin tired of readin, and i come across names like, Gbawe, Orangeman etc (and some that i'v forgotten), It's a must that i will read their post b'cos, seein their names only, puts smiles on my face, not to talk of readin their post.

Orangeman, interestin contribution!

kobikwelu:

if the church denies me and my wife, i will simply move

they take your tithes, your firstfruit offerings, covenant offerings, and dont bother to ask if u have stolen the money or killed sum1 for it

and when it comes to this they are claiming righteous

be careful what you wish for cos u just mite get it, You ask for sex and u will get a baby,

Theblessed:

[size=18pt]And I ask again, what if they were having sex and the guy or the lady are on 'Pills' and doing it every day even the night before the wedding?  Magic, eh? What would the Pastor say or do then I want an answer!

Our God is a fair and just God - how come women are condemned for not being virgins on their wedding night and men who deflowered them and commit the same sin, skate free? I want to know how this is fair and just with the church? Is that how God meant it? No, he is a FAIR AND JUST GOD, period!

Therefore, I suggest the church should go and review their doctrines in the light of the realities of modern time. That's my take![/size]

Boy, that is a one million dollar question that these so called men of God should answer.
These are same men that rush their daughter to clinics for abortion when they discover they are pregnant, yet they come to stop legitimately married couple.

Once the Traditional rite has been completed, no power on earth should put asunder.

I give kudos to the church that agreed to wed these couple.

If you look deeply, it might be the Catholic church.
This is the only organization I know do not encourage abortion.

Gamine:

Hmm. . .profound.

Was this user ID hijacked??

Now, why would anyone say this of Philosopher Vescucci, Ph.D., OON, OBE, Master of the Rolls, Viceroy of India, Doctor of Letters?

Ranoscky:

Even when i'm so fukkin tired of readin, and i come across names like, Gbawe, Orangeman etc (and some that i'v forgotten), It's a must that i will read their post b'cos, seein their names only, puts smiles on my face, not to talk of readin their post.

Orangeman, interestin contribution!

There aint nothing more to say boy.

My friend had the traditional wedding and the court wedding, six months later he wanted to do the church wedding by this time his wife was four months. His church said they weren't married yet because they hadn't done the church wedding bearing the fact that he already had a wedding certificate and the church wsnt even registered to give a certificate. My friend simply peed on the stick and gave it to them. When her belly started to show after the wedding, he told them his wedding date is the date on the certificate. It was the same pastor that christened the baby.

MyJoe:


Now, why would anyone say this of Philosopher Vescucci, Ph.D., OON, OBE, Master of the Rolls, Viceroy of India, Doctor of Letters?

. . . . . . His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Vescucci, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fish of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular. . .

^^^ Thanks for writing something more befitting of Philosopher Vescucci (SAW)!

I know of a sister dat aborted prior to her wedding day after dat was looking for a child.

The child came after 15yrs of marriage if not more.

Enigma:

^^^ +1

This thing exists on many levels e.g. the dilemma of the case of "Mr. Lagbaja" who has always been a moslem and has four wives. Now he has become a Christian ---- are we going to[b] ask him to divorce three of his wives?

[/b]

LMAO, funny enough, even my pastor wont be able to answer this.

One thing i dont understand about marriage is that, must people get married in the church? i got married in an English Registry and till today my marriage is more than blessed. if the church says no, i am 100% sure that the registry will surely welcome them.
Whats the big deal about church wedding in the first instance? i just hope people will wake up from their slumbers and do the right thing rather than allow some pastor" who knows may be he wasnt even a virgin when he got married" driving them crazy like a lagos MOlue.
My advise for you guys is to look somewhere else, its not about the pastor blessing or the church that will make your wedding last, its the natural blessing and your own input that will make it work

I see a lot of people criticizing the church. The young man knew the rules, yet he decided to break it, and nairalanders that against the action of the pastors also want the pastor to break the rule. Simply because he doesn't want the member (couple) involve to leave the church.

GOD IS NOT THE RESPECTER OF ANY MAN(HIS CREACTURE)

That the pastor doesn't not sees the hypocrisy in the church, doesn't not mean the ones he sees he should overlook them. If the whole world support sex before marriage, that would not make GOD to support it.

@Highland

I am as surprised as you are that almost every1 sees nothing wrong with PREMARITAL SEX. The same way nobody sees anything wrong with BRIBERY, CRRUPTION, INTERNET SCAM, EXAM MALPRACTICE, GAY/LESBIANISM etc.

The church should be a standard of living for the world, and not the other way round and that was just it did to serve as a deterent to others. Premarital sex is WRONG, a SIN and we should just call it that!

@Theblessed,
God is just,righteous as well as a merciful but WHATSOEVER A MAN SOWS, THAT SHALL HE REAP.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Cor 6:18
Deut 22: 13-21
“Suppose a man marries a woman, but after sleeping with her, he turns against her and publicly accuses her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘When I married this woman, I discovered she was not a virgin.’ Then the woman’s father and mother must bring the proof of her virginity to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. Her father must say to them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he has turned against her. He has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, “I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.” But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they must spread her bed sheet before the elders. The elders must then take the man and punish him. They must also fine him 100 pieces of silver,[b] which he must pay to the woman’s father because he publicly accused a virgin of Israel of shameful conduct. The woman will then remain the man’s wife, and he may never divorce her.
“But suppose the man’s accusations are true, and he can show that she was not a virgin. The woman must be taken to the door of her father’s home, and there the men of the town must stone her to death, for she has committed a disgraceful crime in Israel by being promiscuous while living in her parents’ home. In this way, you will purge this evil from among you.

Keep the commandment of God, bible said marriage is honourable, the bed undefied. So even if you lost your virginity when you have not known Christ, as soon as you encountered and accepted Him as your Lord and personal saviour, your life suppose to change. And you are expected from that moment to do the will of God.

You can not answer a Christian and at the same time a sinner.

durojim:

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Cor 6:18
Deut 22: 13-21
“Suppose a man marries a woman, but after sleeping with her, he turns against her and publicly accuses her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘When I married this woman, I discovered she was not a virgin.’ Then the woman’s father and mother must bring the proof of her virginity to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. Her father must say to them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he has turned against her. He has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, “I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.” But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they must spread her bed sheet before the elders. The elders must then take the man and punish him. They must also fine him 100 pieces of silver,[b]  which he must pay to the woman’s father because he publicly accused a virgin of Israel of shameful conduct. The woman will then remain the man’s wife, and he may never divorce her.
“But suppose the man’s accusations are true, and he can show that she was not a virgin. The woman must be taken to the door of her father’s home, and there the men of the town must stone her to death, for she has committed a disgraceful crime in Israel by being promiscuous while living in her parents’ home. In this way, you will purge this evil from among you.

If THIS IS FOLLOW IN NEW TESTAMENT AND WE APPLY IT NOW, THE POPULATION OF 9JA WILL REDUCED BY 50%, EVENTUALLY 90% OF THE 9JA FEMALE IS GONE.

THE LAW IS NOT BALANCE THAT IS WHY JESUS CAN NOT CONVICT THE WOMAN BROUGHT TO HIM OF ADULTERY BECAUSE THE PHARISEES LEFT THE MAN BEHIND

Marriage is to be honoured by not defiling the bed, says the bible. But in case the bed has been defiled just like the topic situation, God's is the best jugde who knows the state of the mind and motive of the "couple" when it happened. If out of carelessless and damming the bible, God will have mercy. But if it just by accident, i believe God is not so wicked that He will send them out of His presence(church). I think the church this day will help to accept and help weak in the spirit get stronger than rejecting. The best i think the church should do is to pray along with them for a happy and God fearing family.

Disclaimer: I haven't read the replies,

Question: Does the bible really say one must be a virgin ? If it does where? I'm really curious

this is just like the story my mom told me. there is this couple that were about getting married, two months to the wedding
girl found out she is pregnant and so had no option than to abort the preggy though with the consent of the husband to be who got her pregnant because the church will not wed them with pregnancy (i was like WTF).  

to cut long story short its now over a year the lady can't concieve and the husband is making her life a living hell by alwz beating her.
his reason: he needs children if not na so so bad luck go dey follow am.

ehen the koko of the matter is there were unable to conduct a white wedding becos she is an orphan so the pastor decided that they just conduct a court wedding. his reason being that he wouldn't want a situation where they would be sober reflection due to her parents absence on her wedding day.

so now no church wedding and she had already conducted an abortion.  

i really felt sorry for her as she has no body to run as her parents are dead