A-ZeD:

I dont think ethnicity has anything to do wit it, Any educated person(i dont mean someone with a Bsc, cos not all with Bsc are educated in 9ja) should be able know that just because we speak d same language doesnt mean we are incompartible,
Things dat generally destroy marriages include
1) infidelity(Not tribe dependent)
2) Childlessness(Not tribe dependent)
e.t.c.
plus i dont think any marriage in nigeria has crashed due to ethnicity, ethnicity is just our fall guy when we cant face d truth.

Are you sure you're replying to the post you quoted?

Reference:

I quite agree Ezeagu but mono-ethnic England wasn't always so and God knows they had their bitter wars but we must realise that in 2010 the world is fast shrinking. Nations and peoples are seeking alliances of all types across religion, politics and ideologies. The States, England, France, Germany and even Russia, yes Russia today all have blacks in authority. Sectional walls everywhere are crumbling. I was particularly pleased for the Benenoir who got elected in Russia and I'm sure every black man would. On Nairaland we celebrated the election of Nigerians in the UK a few months ago. My deal then is why are issues like these a problem back home. Why would a man not feel comfortable taking a wife from anywhere in Nigeria. If politics or business can do it 6,000 miles away why can't love do it here. Afterall Nigeria is no more than 1,000 miles across.

Let me just say now that is not my business who anybody chooses to marry, my issue is the notion that inter-ethnic marriages 'force' ethnic harmony, just to clear that up for anybody.

Okay, you have to understand that there's a difference between being an immigrant and having two indigenous homelands clipped and bounded together, that whoever those black people in Europe are getting higher positions, doesn't mean that they will go to the town hall meeting, city hall, etc and start to be speaking Igbo or some other language; these immigrants have to assimilate to, which brings me to the point that I have always made, the indigenous/dominant culture. Every country needs one, and from observation, you will see that every country (and that is every single one of them) without a dominant culture is failed or declining, or non existent (Yugoslavia), Nigeria is no different, no matter how much inter-ethnic mixing that so many countries, kingdoms and empires have already tried, nothing will unite a country like a dominant culture, it's obvious. Nigeria has three broad dominant cultures battling it out in every section of the country. Anyway this is for another thread. The point is that inter-ethnic mixing doesn't create a nation, culture does.

ChinenyeN:

Well, the [dis]advantages of inter-tribal marriages are not that much different than that of intra-tribal marriages, if at all. Parties involved will still face similar challenges and go through similar ups and downs. So now, it would have to be left to the parties involved to decide what [dis]advantages would apply to them and their situation.

Very true.

But the chances for all those disadvantages to occur is farrrrr greater than in intra-tribal marriages.

Just spend some time with both side of the family, inlaws etc, before getting married. Know who you're dealing with.

@post

Can think of one advantage.

Tolulop001:

im so sorry
this is so sad, in the 21st |Century
i guess ull have to move on, abi?
pathetic.

Ambiguity _ . . . moving on with the girl or with another.

ezeagu:



Dora Akunyili
Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

There aren't any Nigerian females that are more prominent and independent today than the two above.

I need the source of this.

Tell your mum.

Billsmith:

I fell in love with a Yoruba and my plans was to get mrried to her. The first day her dad saw her with me, she was beaten up and was forbidden from seeing me. Her elder sister saw her again with me and she was beaten up again mercilessly. Their reason was that, I am not from their tribe and they say nothing whenever they see her with a Yoruba boy.
I really love her and feels jealous whenever I see her with other Yoruba boys talking. I have tried to put her off my mind but no way. She still love me as she said and I realy need to settle down soon. I love her but her people are now our obstacle. What do I do? I can't even put her off my mind. I need your advice .

Eyah. . . . sorry eh. Just try to get over her.
How old is she? If she's a woman, how can they still be beating her up for seeing you?

ezeagu:


Dora Akunyili
Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

There aren't any Nigerian females that are more prominent and independent today than the two above.

Tell your mum.

I need the source of your information. Be it from encyclopaedia, "your survey" is wrong. Have a re-check of the last census data of women in Nigeria and tell me how the duo lead. There are many more prominent and independent women from Nigeria representing well in their endeavours. Extending a little, what can you say of the first female university vice chancellor in Nigeria?

Ileke-IdI:

If she's a woman, how can they still be beating her up for seeing you?

Abeg, i need explanation on " . . . If she is a woman . . . As you portray, what powers does she have towards the situation?

akwaowoudo:

Abeg, i need explanation on " . . . If she is a woman . . . As you portray, what powers does she have towards the situation?

Did you get bored and decided to quote me for argument purpose?

"If she's a woman" and "how old is she?" should be clues enough. How can her sisters be beating up an at-marriageable-aged woman for seeing a man? The worst they could do is talk to her harshly or disown her.

Example:
Babangida's kids have nothing to do with Igboland and I bet you they have no recognition of the land as part theirs.

quarter theirs you mean.

since their mum was half hausa.

Billsmith:

    I fell in love with a Yoruba and my plans was to get mrried to her. The first day her dad saw her with me, she was beaten up and was forbidden from seeing me. Her elder sister saw her again with me and she was beaten up again mercilessly. Their reason was that, I am not from their tribe and they say nothing whenever they see her with a Yoruba boy.
    I really love her and feels jealous whenever I see her with other Yoruba boys talking. I have tried to put her off my mind but no way. She still love me as she said and I realy need to settle down soon. I love her but her people are now our obstacle. What do I do? I can't even put her off my mind. I need your advice .

this is definitely a gigantic lie.

Ileke-IdI:

Did you get bored and decided to quote me for argument purpose?

"If she's a woman" and "how old is she?" should be clues enough. How can her sisters be beating up an at-marriageable-aged woman for seeing a man? The worst they could do is talk to her harshly or disown her.

You've said nothing _ i still insist on "if she is a woman". Explain.

I am enjoying and learning from your contributions, patriotic Nigerians. I believe other viewers are learning too. But is it not possible for a damsel to outrightly disregard the wish of her parents not to risk inter-tribal marriage? Any repercussion? Please, carry on, fellow Nigerians!

the ekiti ibadan guy.

tpiah:

this is definitely a gigantic lie.

you sure say na lie? because e fit happen oh

ChinenyeN:

I agree with you here. In fact. See what I posted earlier in this discussion.

. . . but, that all says little to nothing about our current societal views, which are. . . who your father is still matters. People can talk what they want, saying things like "in this day and age" or, "in the 21st century?", but whether or not they like, they will have to realize that ethnic/tribal sentiment/loyalty is a reality, and there's really nothing they can do about that.

That's the only point I'm trying to get across here.

Well as I said you can't just be generalising and saying things like "current societal views". That is just too vague. It mostly depends on the man himself and how courageous he is too stand up to his relatives and potential inlaws. Anyway this is not a new thing but in fact has always been happening since Nigeria came into existence. There is nothing new or revolutionary about it. After all people like IBB from Niger State had a long and sucessful marriage even though his wife was from  far distant Delta State. You are kidding yourself if you think inter-state marriage it is not widespread in Nigeria today.
To be fair though, a man whose profession takes him across the country is more likely to engage in this type of marriage compared to someone who has never left his home state.

Omokemesi:

I am enjoying and learning from your contributions, patriotic Nigerians. I believe other viewers are learning too. But is it not possible for a damsel to outrightly disregard the wish of her parents not to risk inter-tribal marriage? Any repercussion? Please, carry on, fellow Nigerians!

Again not every parent is prejudiced against people from outside their village. Some are very prejudiced. But it is up to the couple to stand up and persuade these kinds of parents to ditch their prejudices and unwise stereotypes.

i think if u really want to be together,just pray about it and the inlaws will come around afterall,marriage involves only two partners and the families shld knw their place!

akwaowoudo:

Ambiguity _ . . . moving on with the girl or with another.

nope! moving on is moving on! to the next of course!

akwaowoudo:

You've said nothing _ i still insist on "if she is a woman". Explain.

'if she's a woman', as in she is not a young girll that should be beaten up anyhow

_{what is ur own with english self}

akwaowoudo:

You've said nothing _ i still insist on "if she is a woman". Explain.

This plain and simple!
My understanding of 'Woman' in her post was if the lady is above 24 at least

Do yu expect parent/guardian to be beating up a Lady of this age range for hanging out with a guy?

Really, tensor. . Generalizing? So is it no longer true that our society is one that asks "who is your father?"

PrinceBYC:

This plain and simple!
My understanding of 'Woman' in her post was if the lady is above 24 at least

Do yu expect parent/guardian to be beating up a Lady of this age range for hanging out with a guy?

Tolulop001:

nope! moving on is moving on! to the next of course!

'if she's a woman', as in she is not a young girll that should be beaten up anyhow

_{what is your own with english self}

That's why I asked him if his purpose of quoting me was for an unnecessary argument.

tensor777:

Again not every parent is prejudiced against people from outside their village. Some are very prejudiced. But it is up to the couple to stand up and persuade these kinds of parents to ditch their prejudices and unwise stereotypes.

Some parent would actually disown their own before they ditch their prejudices.

And I think most of their acions has to do with public criticism. "Se o moh iya iyabo, omo Igbo ni omo e lo gbe wa le. "

john david:

you sure say na lie? because e fit happen oh

its a mighty and boldfaced lie.

ChinenyeN:

Really, tensor. . Generalizing? So is it no longer true that our society is one that asks "who is your father?"

As I have said before you have not yet come out and boldly stated YOUR OWN views on inter-state marriages. You keep on hiding behind what the "society" may say.

Ileke-IdI:

And I think most of their acions has to do with public criticism. "Se o moh iya iyabo, omo Igbo ni omo e lo gbe wa le. "

Well you can't just come out with such a blanket statement. Maybe its their very prejudices that makes them take account of what other prejudiced people may say. Those that are liberal, by their very nature, would not really care about those types of caustic remarks.

Ileke-IdI:

Can think of one advantage.

Your children may be a bit less ignorant of other cultures.

I'm really confused as to what you're trying to get at, tensor. How am I 'hiding' behind truth? Also, my thoughts on the matter have already been expressed in this topic. Wait, I think I see the problem. We're here jumbling up two separate topics. Ethnic/Tribal Sentiment & [Dis]advantages of Inter-Tribal Marriage. Let me make things clearer for you then.

In terms of the [dis]advantages, inter-tribal marriages aren't much different from other marriages, if at all.
In terms of ethnic/tribal sentiment, those still run strong in our society. There's no denying that.

Ileke-IdI:

But the chances for all those disadvantages to occur is farrrrr greater than in intra-tribal marriages.

Just spend some time with both side of the family, inlaws etc, before getting married. Know who you're dealing with.

True @ the Italicized, but it still takes us back to the bolded. And it's because of the bolded that I stated the below.

ChinenyeN:
So now, it would have to be left to the parties involved to decide what [dis]advantages would apply to them and their situation.

kcjazz:

Advantage 1) the kids will be good English speakers, since they will be neither here nor there

2) For the Igbo guy bride price is extremely low when we play away

Disadvantage
Uncomfortable during family reunions

Isn't it normal to feel uncomfortable with people you are just meeting for the first time? As you get to know each other over time, won't that uncomfy feeling disappear? Is that not how life is?

New food

What is particularly so new about Nigerian food? Rice, beans, garri, plantain, yam etc, don't we all eat them? If at all there are distinctions, is it not only soups?

ezeagu:

Your children may be a bit less ignorant of other cultures.

That can be done without marrying from other tribes. Immigration dey, internet dey, etc.

tensor777:

Well you can't just come out with such a blanket statement. Maybe its their very prejudices that makes them take account of what other prejudiced people may say. Those that are liberal, by their very nature, would not really care about those types of caustic remarks.

LOL True true.

I am a result of an "inter-tribal" union. That alone overshines the negs.

There is a biological advantage in inter-tribal marriage.
Your off-springs have better chances of having superior genetics.

sandee575:

There is a biological advantage in inter-tribal marriage.
Your off-springs have better chances of having superior genetics.

Oh dear!!!

Iyineda:

I am a result of an "inter-tribal" union. That alone overshines the negs.

What tribes would that be? Just curious

tpiah:

quarter theirs you mean.

since their mum was half hausa.

Maryam Babangida was half hausa?. Maryam whose mother was interviewed during her funeral was half hausa?. If her mother is Igbo and her siblings are Igbo and their father was from Asaba, how was she half hausa?