Now I am thouroughly confused and I will tell you why.

I believe and love to make friends across all social classes and races. I try never to discriminate in my interaction and relationship with people.

Although by virtue of my financial status and profession I am in the upper class of society, I come down to make friends with the poor and lowly.

Herein lies the problem. Most of the poor people in Nigeria that I relate with soon begin to ask me for money soon after we become friends, even when the friendship is just casual. All they need to kknow is that I have a job.

If I decide to restrict my friendship to the upper/middle class people like me, who won't make financial demands unless absolutely necessary, it will be social discrimination, which is not only against my personal principles but also against my religious priinciples as a christian. But most of my poorer friends over burden me with financial requests. 

What do I do 

teach them how to fish instead of giving them fish because you would not be able to meet up with their demands (get them something to do that will help them in many other ways)

stop being confuse oh

I

Beline:

teach them how to fish instead of giving them fish because you would not be able to meet up with their demands (get them something to do that will help them in many other ways)

stop being confuse oh

I thought about that but it is not easily done. How many people will I get something to do ? How much will I offer ? Some of them are students. Do I also set up students in a business, even if I have the money ?

I don't think this will be practicable either.

are you back in Nigeria 

@ funloving

I totally see where you're coming from, but at the end of the day its just an order of the day. Don't actually think you can be able to put a stop to it.

If you have to give a few less priviledged, do so. But the truth remains that you can't feed every mouth that comes your way, you can only afford to a point, so you just have to say "NO" in the most polite way ever.

It is left for them to show their "friendship quality" and not let the money issue come between you or be the deciding factor, now if that happens, then take my words, he wasn't even worth it in the first place

Its said that money is the root of all evil, but the good still manages to stand the test of time.
Be prayerful too, Cos after the refusal its difficult to knowwho turns out to be an enemy and will on the other hand want to see you harmed or even dead, be careful too with what you eat, where you go and who you make friends with

The fact that you want to be generally social, doesn't mean you should call just anybody your friend!!!!

Beline:

teach them how to fish instead of giving them fish because you would not be able to meet up with their demands (get them something to do that will help them in many other ways)

stop being confuse oh

funloving:

I
I thought about that but it is not easily done. How many people will I get something to do ? How much will I offer ? Some of them are students. Do I also set up students in a business, even if I have the money ?

I don't think this will be practicable either.

if you have 50 friends in Nigeria that are asking you for money. Teach 2 how to make the money, now you people are 3 helping other, 3 of you teach other 5 people, you are now 8, before you know eat, the whole Nigeria will be affected. Who told you that student do not do business. Most of the recharge and call centers are owned by students. set them up and stop complaining. Help one person today.

I'm still trying to understand if this high and mighty person making friends with the lowly and downtrodden lives in Nigeria or is referring to the poor and lowly Nigerians he meets in England.

@ Funloving
I don't know what you're complaining about. if you let people know that you have money, obviously they would ask for charity. Why do you think Lottery winners wants to remain unknown. A golddigger will marry you for the sake of your money and then dump your broke ass once she divorces you. An Ugly man is attractive if he is Rich. If you don't want to help your poor friends then act poor

There is something i would like you to understand, the bible says it is only God that gives the power to make wealth and he blesses whom ever he pleases.
have you ever wondered why you have the money in the first place? why have you been opportuned to have and the people that have been asking you don't have. the answer is this he has blessed you so that you can be a blessing to other people.

Remmeber the race is not for the swiftest but time and chance has been accorded to every man, it is more blessed to give than to recieve and i tell you one thing no matter how much you give your well can never run dry as u give.

pls don't see it as a problem, just ask God to give you the ability to give so that you can be blessed.

babyosisi:

I'm still trying to understand if this high and mighty person making friends with the lowly and downtrodden lives in Nigeria or is referring to the poor and lowly Nigerians he meets in England.

I wonder ooo
Some people with a bloated image of themselves want to bore us all to death.

as a good christian,u have to find joy in giving not only to your friends but to all they needy in general.

If you are good Christian to make friends who are needy, then why don't you educate them on money management and another alternative method how to survive covering the cost of living expenses to be more wisdom and financial blessing? Just like Beline has said exactly.

Like Seun has said about not to reveal your financial/working status to the poorest 9ja friends whom you made.

I suggest you to read a book called "Purpose-driven life" that written by Rev. Rick Warren and get your own prayer partner to share reading book together during 40 days according to the book instructed, then you will understand the foundation of Christianity life how to cope with needy ppl you love to make friends helping them out.

I don't think he is telling or showing anybody he has money. All they know is that he has a job.
And like most people do, he still want to speak/ keep in contact with his friends and people around his neighbourhood
irrespective of their jobs and situations.

people sef. this kind of thing happen with many people, just that they pally with people on their level or just keep quiet about it.

It's normal for friends (or family) to ask for money if they think you have more than them. It is not malicious, just opportunistic. They'll want to borrow from you to buy the same luxuries that you're depriving yourself of!

I think the way you show off yourself or talk would determine how people relate with you. If you tell them you belong to the high and mighty like you are telling us in your writing,then they will ask for money. I guess you were ones poor too!!!!!!

my brother i can uderstand what you are saying just follow your heart on who you are willing to help cos you can't help everybody.but just have it in mind that you start bearing names your parent did not name you.i know what you passing through,these are only friends what about the family members who are knocking at your door for money.

help those that you know they will estabished with the money not those that will turn to be big boys and girls with the money.And i know God has bless you with money but you have to be wise why spending it.

dear funloving


how are u, how is the uk and your job, well i was just writing because i needed about 2000 pounds only, for my school fees. the other day some cult members did some juju on me and the last cash which u wired to me got stolen. Things are very very tough here and would appreciate it if u could send the money asap. thank you and God bless

sincerely yours in US

finemocha

finemocha:

dear funloving


how are u, how is the uk and your job, well i was just writing because i needed about 2000 pounds only, for my school fees. the other day some cult members did some juju on me and the last cash which u wired to me got stolen. Things are very very tough here and would appreciate it if u could send the money asap. thank you and God bless

sincerely yours in US

finemocha

She also promises to give you 10 million dollars as soon as her funds are cleared from the central bank,all she needs is $2000 in administative costs to set off the modalities.

what are you even feeling like,a millionair or what?

oge4reall & babyosisi


lol

funloving or watever ur gateman name is with ur immigrant lower class claiming upper class and middle class i guess dats wat u have gone to learn in the UK abi. I feel d part about people being long throats but u were being an slowpoke talking about class cuz u already sound like someone who is being intimidated by class and u also sound like a dishwasher dat is expecting all dat jand raise Oloshi. I believe u forgot about naija abi, cuz dat ur class mouth will be intimidated n shit. Ballers go to jand and yankee and come back trying to open factories but ur paycheck mouth is trying to claim class ode.

@poster.
dear, i think it's 'cause they think u're enjoyin' over there, not knowin' how hard it is to survive abroad, how people don't even have time to chill not to talk of sendin' money. People don't ask me for money 'cause i ain't got no money, first of all, lol, and am too young to be sendin' anyone money. I know 'cause people from naija ask my mom and dad, even people who i don't even know. They claim to be related to me one way or the other,lol. It's natural. if only they knew. They think once u're in abroad, u're steppin' on gold. Anywayz, just try and explain to them that u don't have the kind of money they're talkin' about.

@poster

nigerians begging for money is reflex. they just cant help it. its like a bad curse. even if they arent starving. its crazy! . dont be ashamed to scold people. i had to start. my friends in naija use wheelbarrow to carry money home yet they still hint at expecting something in the form of money, clothes, suits, correct heels and other stuff. i have been known to lash people over this matter. i suggest you start.

The people blaming this guy I think are being emotional.The way he describes himself makes them bring out knives.
[b]TRUTH[b] any body living abroad whether street cleaner or multi millionaire gets endless demands for money from home.
Unless you are one of those who don't go home or make yourself unaccessible,I know many people who have changed their phone nos because of people who think pounds and dollars grow on trees abroad. Like spoilt said this begging is reflex, they may note be broke may be living better than those abroad,have better phones, go clubbing more,drink more ,party more.
@ funloving there 2 things I've seen written here you need to understand.
1. themindset that "chairman" has to drop for us.
Do not be fooled, even if you think you are high class abroad,many peoples homes in Nigeria are worth up to a million dollars but they will still beg you for money.
2. Don't base your friendship on money or wealth, look diligently into genuine cases as you are able to and help.Anybody who only hangs with you for money is not your friend.tell them off!

true. people have been forced to change phone numbers because of village people asking for money for fictitious operations for the deathly ill and so on. its crazy. my uncle has changed his cell phone number twice in 2 months. there's no service in his village so they journey to umuahia to call him to send money.or they ask complete strangers to call him. thats hilarious!

I and my friends have had enough of that crap. People ask for money like they are starving,go to Nigeria and see them drinking Odeku and pepper soup every day while you toil everyday.There are some real cases of need which I will always help out but I go to Nigeria often enough to know B*******T when I hear it.Also nobody did any contribution to get me here.
I use a Nokia 1100, which I bought for 5K in Lagos after giving my phone to somebody.When I suggested to one of my relations to get the same phone in Nigeria after loosing his phone,he said he can't use a phone less than 30,000. This is some one asking me for money!!!

ive learnt to be harsh. i work my Behind off to make money and i dont oblige any of those golddiggers any more.i used to give stuff out all the time. they'll even want the suitcase you came with. HABA!
all that has stopped. infact now i ask them for stuff all the time just to annoy them. i alway tell them "you are enjoying" or "dash me". it gets them real riled up. the best form of defence is attack!

My brother used to come to Nigeria(then I lived there) with suit cases of gifts and clothes and leave with one shirt and trouser.He would spend up to 500K in 2 weeks and leave.
Once he came and unexpectedly had to stay for a month extra,when all the clothes and gifts ran out and he was not buying drinks like before,all the visitors dried up.Even those he gave 10-30K dash disapeared,now he only has time for our immediate family,me ,I learnt before even leaving Nigeria.
What those who criticized Funloving don't know is how annoying it is to feel people are using you.
I still say though, one must not let the bad eggs stop you helping those for real, if you can

I dont know about you people,but i think its good to clearly define friendship at the very beginning.Why do u wanna have friends that cant compete with you economically?Its good to know the answer to this questions.

I guess the yoruba proverb that states that "the rich will always be the friend of the richh while the ppro with always hang out with the poor", the poor in most cases make friends with the rich ones to climb home the economic ladder. You gotta find friends within ur own circle, sorrY FUNLOVING, thats just he way life is.But remember that God gave u the money to help others, and "others' d0nt exploit people, word!

spoilt:

ive learnt to be harsh. i work my Behind off to make money and i don't oblige any of those golddiggers any more.i used to give stuff out all the time. they'll even want the suitcase you came with. HABA!
all that has stopped. infact now i ask them for stuff all the time just to annoy them. i alway tell them "you are enjoying" or "dash me". it gets them real riled up. the best form of defence is attack!

Agbarigbija toto kio toooo!!!!!

I gbadun you well well. I enjoyed your post, as well as that of Seun. Sad but this is the best way of dealing with such folks. I can smell opportunistic folks a mile away and I keep such people at arm's length. They would only use you and dump you. You are their "friend" as long as you have money to splash on them (if you're stupid enough to do so).

I've had a few nasty experiences but I learn't my lesson. Over and out.

Give if you can,it takes a man in trouble to ask.life is give and take,you don't give what you don't have .It is unfortunate that people think money grows on trees in the west just like they see in the movies,couple with the hopeless system of goverment and lack of direction,people are subjected to lowly begging.