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Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster - Romance - Nairaland

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Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by newgroom: 12:30am On Oct 01, 2010
I am in my late 40s. I have never been married and still waiting on God to give me the man of my dreams. I have always been a good Christian, one that kept all the doctrines and did nothing without consulting my pastors. I became born again when I was in secondary school. My parents attend Catholic Church. Though they tried to dissuade me from joining my church, they soon gave up on my ways and me. They did to have peace at home as I was as determined too to make life difficult for them.

There is nothing I do without the express permission of my pastors to the irritations of my parents who saw it as another form of idolatry. From as far as I can remember, no man came my way without me first seeking the approval of my pastor.

Strangely, none of the men was ever approved as being the right man for me. After a while, when all my friends were all almost married, my mother called me aside to plead with me to get married and stop pegging my decision on who is right or wrong on the recommendations of my pastors.

I ignored her because she has always been my major antagonist when it comes to religious matters. I had to leave home when the last of my sisters got married. Being the first daughter and child of the family, my mother told me she couldn’t live with me any longer under the same roof. And that she wanted her husband to herself since I have refused everyman who came my way.

At the time I left five years ago, the number of men asking for my hand in marriage had almost disappeared entirely. Many who saw me assumed I was married with children. The few that came my way were either out to mock me or looking for a woman to sleep with.

I became not just desperate but afraid that I might end up without a husband. As I write my youngest sister has two children already. My immediate sister’s two children are already in the university. The rest of my siblings are not only married but are parents. These days, I hate going home because they all look at me with scorn.

Agatha, since last year, not even the wayward ones have come my way to even look at the market I am selling. The worst thing now is that my menses have stopped flowing.

The most painful thing now is that all the pastors who once encouraged me are now urging me to lower my standards and marry any man before I completely lose out. At 49, what choices do I have? I went for medical examinations when I discovered my menses had stopped only to be told by the doctor after examination that I was entering menopause.

Help me Agatha, because I feel suicidal. I want children, husband like every other woman, but here I am, having given God everything I have without a man or child to call my own. I am looking older than my age because of all the frustrations.

Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.

Source: AuntieAgatha (Daily Independent)
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Osama10(m): 12:38am On Oct 01, 2010
This is the height of all stupidity.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by charlisco(m): 12:48am On Oct 01, 2010
is this for real,
get married to a pastor
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by spoilt(f): 12:56am On Oct 01, 2010
hopefully those pastors can reinstate her periods by their fervent prayers.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by labiyemmy(m): 12:59am On Oct 01, 2010
This is her fault - listen to your heart- not to any pastor.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by deniyor: 1:06am On Oct 01, 2010
You have always listened to your pastors shocked why stop now? grin
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by InkedNerd(f): 2:25am On Oct 01, 2010
OP: At some point in time did you not stop to think that your pastor may have been wrong? Just because he's a "man of God" doesn't necessarily mean he knows what's best. Have you considered adoption?
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by tpiah: 5:47am On Oct 01, 2010
my mother told me she couldn’t live with me any longer under the same roof. And that she wanted her husband to herself since I have refused everyman who came my way.

At the time I left five years ago,   the number of men asking for my hand in marriage had almost disappeared entirely.

you lived with your parents till you were 44?

there's clearly more here than meets the eye.

anyway, try adoption.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Girl846(f): 5:56am On Oct 01, 2010
You should have also prayed to God yourself and asked Him for His answer.
Don't get discouraged! God is always on time and His time is always the best.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by tpiah: 5:57am On Oct 01, 2010
^^also true though i wonder why the op's name is new groom.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Nobody: 6:06am On Oct 01, 2010
With God anytin is possible.Dnt give up yet.Sarah in d bible is a good example.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by DOAweb(m): 8:57am On Oct 01, 2010
Osama10:

This is the height of all stupidity.


grin grin Totally agree  grin grin

Though to be honest, her situation is not unique in Europe. Loads of single well-off ladies with no Man!!
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by SAGoddess: 9:04am On Oct 01, 2010
LOL, so old spinster here wants children at 49, goodness, goodluck lady!
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by kalahariNG: 11:51am On Oct 01, 2010
wow! What do you even say to this? How come she didn't have this Aha moment 10 or 20 years earlier.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by InkedNerd(f): 11:54am On Oct 01, 2010
kalahariNG:

wow! What do you even say to this? How come she didn't have this Aha moment 10 or 20 years earlier.

Because she was too bust listening to the d.umb pastor that's why tongue
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by omofat: 12:05pm On Oct 01, 2010
Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.

God didn't abandon you o.

You were spiritualising natural things and didn't apply wisdom to your daily living.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Nobody: 12:10pm On Oct 01, 2010
Why regretting your ways? It is all for GOD abi. Wetin u wan do with earthly things? She dey reject men, e fit be say she never even do NECO.Men don suffer.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by wyt(m): 12:12pm On Oct 01, 2010
this is a lesson to "the churchist," who think through their so called pastors,
@ the post, do you think the pastor lov you more than your parents?

we the young blood think our parents is nokia 3310, without knowing that 3310 has the basic principle that is fundamental for production/manufacturing blackberry. i personally don't agree with my parents in alot of things but i know when they are telling me the parental truth which is more important than pastorial truth.

well, in book of hebrews, the heros of faith, som obtained some didn't but they are all the heros of faith. accept your fate and turn a cancellor and preach the truth to young people, that they may not make the mistake you made. life do not end in marriage, you can still be make impact in preach the truth to the youth.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by spikedcylinder: 12:12pm On Oct 01, 2010
Agatha, since last year, not even the wayward ones have come my way to even look at the market I am selling. The worst thing now is that my menses have stopped flowing.

ROTFLMAO! What market are you selling? grin grin cheesy
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by InkedNerd(f): 12:17pm On Oct 01, 2010
wyt:

this is a lesson to "the churchist," who think through their so called pastors,
@ the post, do you think the pastor lov you more than your parents?

we the young blood think our parents is nokia 3310, without knowing that 3310 has the basic principle that is fundamental for production/manufacturing blackberry. i personally don't agree with my parents in alot of things but i know when they are telling me the parental truth which is more important than pastorial truth.

well, in book of hebrews, the heros of faith, som obtained some didn't but they are all the heros of faith. accept your fate and turn a cancellor and preach the truth to young people, that they may not make the mistake you made. life do not end in marriage, you can still be make impact in preach the truth to the youth.

::[/b]Nods in agreement[b]::
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by beknown(m): 12:22pm On Oct 01, 2010
@Poster,

You made a terrible mistake in allowing your Pastor be your Lord instead of Jesus Christ.

The reason you are in your position today is that you fasted and prayed, but failed to act in faith. Faith without work is dead (James 2:26).

It was up to you to accept one of the suitors by faith, faith in God, without passing judgment on every suitor that came to you.

No one is perfect, not even you. You spent your whole life looking for perfection which does not exist.

My advice:
Pray to God for your heart desire. Act in faith on your prayer - faith without work is dead. Meet your friends and christian brethren. Get involve in the work of God, don't leave your faith. Open your eyes as you go out, meet people and be friendly. You are not too old to have a relationship and children of your own.

Read Matthew 7:7 and James 2:26
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by beknown(m): 12:30pm On Oct 01, 2010
Good Christians should learn from this poster.

The common sense approach is: Pray, apply faith and use wisdom.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by abhosts(m): 12:38pm On Oct 01, 2010
Looks like a cooked-up story. The moment Naija women clock 30, they are already in panic mode to settle down with or without the consent of their Pastor. But she is just waking up at age 49?
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by DOAweb(m): 12:40pm On Oct 01, 2010
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Tosinville(m): 1:22pm On Oct 01, 2010
Life and mentality of Nigerian ladies and these are the kind of things some end up getting in life, those who claim:

*  "na me holy pass" lady.
*  "(I'm) too educated" lady.
*  "Na me fine pass" lady.
*   "claiming hard to get" lady
*   "I'm rich and i must get a richer guy" lady.

They forgot every women in existence has their own expiring date like medicines in my store but it when they're getting squeeze up thats when their blind eyes wil start opening that they getting wrinkle, crack'd up and menopause is approachin. Moreover when they are young, they feel like no others like them in town lol thats crazy and ur stup1dity will leads u no way but to make you regret later in life cos its rare for a man nowadays can propose to a 35yrs old lady (thats even 2 much) if true love is in it so many ladies needs to be wise this days don't let your pride ruin your life in the future.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by shagaman: 1:31pm On Oct 01, 2010
Trying to have children at 49 might be suicidal,adoption might be the best option,I can believe she hasn't eaten Onions for 49 years, that path must be totally blocked man, lipsrsealed
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by shadrach77: 1:36pm On Oct 01, 2010
this is the highest point of stupidity - before we cast blames on the pastor, one thing is very clear, the lady in question is just trying to use the pastor to cover up for her foolishness - she herself is to blame and nobody else - not even God - if she never really wanted any of the men who came her way that is why she was willing to accept her pastor's advice - if she really wanted them, she would have ignored her pastor's advice long time ago - she never wanted to settle down and she was looking for an accomplice who would rub her back and encourage her in her foolishness and her pastor proved to be a willing accomplice - now turning the blame on him is pure hypocrisy - i hate to say it but it sounds like she deserves what she is getting  embarassed angry angry
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Vavavoom(m): 1:51pm On Oct 01, 2010
Ha! Life on LonelyVille. If the story is true by any chance then the sisi here took too long in getting her priorities right, at least the husband one grin. Anyways, she can still find a man who's got children, a widower who wouldn't bat an eyelid if she adopted children of her own.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by eduokoro: 1:58pm On Oct 01, 2010
That is a clear case of lack of wisdom.But with God, all things are possible. When did sarah give Abraham an issue?. You have to trust God, and apply wisdom. grin
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Nobody: 2:00pm On Oct 01, 2010
@op don't  have to ask God any question because you didn't mention his name when all these men were coming for marriage rather your pastor was the one doing the whole mess in your life.

Another reason I hate this acrobatic pastors. Please single sister be WISE.
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by spikedcylinder: 2:02pm On Oct 01, 2010
shagaman:

Trying to have children at 49 might be suicidal,adoption might be the best option,I can believe she hasn't eaten Onions for 49 years, that path must be totally blocked man, lipsrsealed

What is onions? grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Pastors’ Advice On Chastity Earns Me Menopause As Spinster by Nobody: 2:06pm On Oct 01, 2010
shagaman:

Trying to have children at 49 might be suicidal,adoption might be the best option,I can believe she hasn't eaten Onions for 49 years, that path must be totally blocked man, lipsrsealed

You needed a virgin now you have got @least a secondary virgin so go for her grin

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