I beg to disagree with your conclusion.It was not the pastors advise that caused your problem but yourself.You need to check yourself critical to know where you you missed it.You had some personal problems of yours that made you what you are today.

Every man is responsible for his life.If you have problem maintaining a relationship say so.Or if no man has ever come to say how are you say so.

Please don't mock God by accusing your pastor.If you know the real problem you have i can be of help in helping you solve it.Contact me through my email ONLY.

loveaflames75@yahoo.com

be your self woman, just be a bit attentive to the wonder of nature, and love will come your way,
have a good day,

My people lost wisdom, thou says thou Lord your God!! May God help U!

I doubt the veracity of this piece. Even if true, we shouldn't jump into concluding that pastors are bad as we have not heard from the horse's mouth- the pastor but from her only.
In addition, if this is not a bull and cock story, we have our part to play in this sister's life and that is to SHOW OUR CONCERNS & ADVISE HER GENTLY. Pls stop those suicidal/criticizing comments b/cos they don't help but only add insult to injury. The Rubicon is crossed. We are all human!

Am not sure the Poster here is the gal in question, I think she culled this story from "Auntie Agatha". Anyways, whatever is the case, its so obvious that the gal has a serious problem of taking decisions herself, she waited till her pastor almost ruined her life b4 she woke up from her delussion and now she is running to "Auntie Agatha" for advise, always running from pillar to post. God gave us brains so He can rest sometimes while we fix certain things ourselves.

so where are all those our 'nigerian women are not virgins' thread starters to come to the rescue of this unopened flower?

Let thy will be done.

ah typical, blame it all on God instead of our own stupidity.

As someone said previously, how did the wake up call come at the age of 49!

God has empowered us with His spirit and given us His word for guidance. I don't understand why some people submit their decision making facility to another man.

Poster, you must have some views on this story since you put it on Nairaland. Let's hear your views as well.

Alas this story is mirrored everyday all around us. There are thousands of ladies (and a few men) like this. There are plenty of selfish "men of God" who mislead young people with their fake wisdom. The issue does not only apply to meeting the opposite sex and getting married, it involves you surrendering all your hard earned money as well every sunday to people who intimidate and tell you exactly what you want to hear. The pastor may have even wanted her for himself - who knows. Sheer jealousy could have motivated his actions.

In my experience I have met at least two ladies who live exactly like this. One eventually married. The other one is still parambulating up and down at nearly 50yrs old. Infact I thought she wrote this story because she is in the same age bracket. What man wants a woman who would call your every move "devilish". I still remember her now:

- She does not watch movies,
- no music is good except gospel songs (only the ones she likes)
- no parties, or eating out
- no sexy clothing (its all garish long skirt and scarves no makeup either)
- She condemns all your clothes as devilish - you should be on suits 24/7
- You must read the bible all the time - get rid of every other books
- Sleep and wake to the sound of a christian chorus.
- Above all, you are not allowed to touch her or any other girl despite you have been dating for nearly a year.
- And then, you must leave every other church and join hers - to worship her pastor as an equal to Christ.
- Contribute a massive chunk of my salary to the church every month

You guessed right, I left her. The pressure was too much. I was becoming an extremist and begining to forget how to enjoy life. Today I met and married a fellow "sinner" and we live happily.  Extremism works out badly in the end. You loose social skills, friends and forget how to live and enjoy life. You cannot spiritualise the physical without suffering the consequance.

The worst part is you will see people coming to this thread to encourage her to keep praying instead of arranging a man for her. What she needs is not more prayers. God already answered those prayers by sending men but her selfish pastor sent them away. What she needs now is a man. Am therefore appealing to any unmarried nairalander to consider this open hearted application in good faith.

Was she the only born again sister in that church. Didnt she notice that other born again sisters were gettin married still under the same pastor. Its a personal problem cos she's the type that will run to the pastor - pastor if he ask me to remove my bra what should i do - you wont expect the MOG to encourage her to develop intimacy BEFORE marriage, he will open the bible and outline all the holiness stuff and she takes it hook line and sinker. Maybe that is why we more ladies than men in the church - they are easily influence or sway

Hmphh. She must be in a really desper8 spot. Nonetheless, da past is gone & u can only effect change in ur present. So, be open abt adoptn & seek the Lord's face in all because with Him, nothin shall be impossible.

Hmphh. She must be in a really desper8 spot. Nonetheless, da past is gone & u can only effect change in ur present. So, be open abt adoptn & seek the Lord's face in all because with Him, nothin shall be impossible.

Hmphh. She must be in a really desper8 spot. Nonetheless, da past is gone & u can only effect change in ur present. So, be open abt adoptn & seek the Lord's face in all because with Him, nothin shall be impossible.

most nigerians are religious but not godly, if God did not intend us to use our brains or intelligence he would not have given it to us, brethren and "sisthren" ,she did not use her brains in dealing with her situation

Poster,

* You have already cross your EXPIRING DATE still using extra time with it.

* Marry to Jesus or look for a younger guy and pay him to get you pregnant to have a kid in life before u get to [menopause] completely.

* Pls don't even think of a man getting married to you at this stage of life cos its rare for many men to find a lady of 35yrs above attractive again if she's not looking like sweet-16.

* You can go for adoption if you need young ones company in your home.

Thats my best advice for you and if you feel like ignoring it just like u snob ur mom's word then u will end up living in miserable life when menopause reach completely----- Pls follow one now.

poster if u said u hav don d will of God since childhood, den r u a vir** , if not den, , , . if u r wahalla dey. LOL

IBEXY:

Alas this story is mirrored everyday all around us. There are thousands of ladies (and a few men) like this. There are plenty of selfish "men of God" who mislead young people with their fake wisdom. The issue does not only apply to meeting the opposite gender and getting married, it involves you surrendering all your hard earned money as well every sunday to people who intimidate and tell you exactly what you want to hear. The pastor may have even wanted her for himself - who knows. Sheer jealousy could have motivated his actions.

In my experience I have met at least two ladies who live exactly like this. One eventually married. The other one is still parambulating up and down at nearly 50yrs old. Infact I thought she wrote this story because she is in the same age bracket. What man wants a woman who would call your every move "devilish". I still remember her now:

- She does not watch movies,
- no music is good except gospel songs (only the ones she likes)
- no parties, or eating out
- no sexy clothing (its all garish long skirt and scarves no makeup either)
- She condemns all your clothes as devilish - you should be on suits 24/7
- You must read the bible all the time - get rid of every other books
- Sleep and wake to the sound of a christian chorus.
- Above all, you are not allowed to touch her or any other girl despite you have been dating for nearly a year.
- And then, you must leave every other church and join hers - to worship her pastor as an equal to Christ.
- Contribute a massive chunk of my salary to the church every month

You guessed right, I left her. The pressure was too much. I was becoming an extremist and begining to forget how to enjoy life. Today I met and married a fellow "sinner" and we live happily.  Extremism works out badly in the end. You loose social skills, friends and forget how to live and enjoy life. You cannot spiritualise the physical without suffering the consequance.

The worst part is you will see people coming to this thread to encourage her to keep praying instead of arranging a man for her. What she needs is not more prayers. God already answered those prayers by sending men but her selfish pastor sent them away. What she needs now is a man. Am therefore appealing to any unmarried nairalander to consider this open hearted application in good faith.

Excellent point sand very true. Me too I've met one or two like that in my time. No gumption

what u need now is to adopt a child and forget about marriage cos i don't think any man will even consider you for a fling talkless of marriage. Just move ahead with your life cos you are the primary cause of your problem. And your story should also serve as a lesson to some young ladies out there that are already following your path, everything should have its limit, too much holiness is extremism.

God have mercy!!!
your faith is in your hands.
God will see you through

autokeys:

God have mercy!!!
your faith is in your hands.
God will see you through

Idolising "Men of God" in the name of christianity is wat all christians must beware of. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. That is wat the Bible says. The Bible didn't say your pastor shall know the truth and shall pass it to you.
May God ultimately have mercy on you and shower u with grace other wise, your situation might as well be a mirage of a desert traveller.

There are so many pastors and spiritualists nowadays, #GodHelpUs

http:///SpYZ

I think theb pastors are stupid 'nd she_BRrp.
Marry one of those pastors.

It is not the pastor's fault, it is all HER fault!
You put your pastors voice above God's voice - thus idolizing your pastor.
God speaks to His faithfuls and answers their prayers!
She was obeying man instead of listening for the voice of God!

WOW.pls let us rem that this pastors are not god and so cannot no all.even those that used their head and did not wait for a pastor are now happily married.why did she not listen to any other persons.its almost too late now except she wants to do without children and then maybe marry a divorcee or a widower.but certainly god has nothing to do with this,its a matter of personal choice

tpiah:

^^also true though i wonder why the op's name is new groom.

The source was explicitly stated. Its an article in Daily Independent and OP was not the lady in question.

Source: AuntieAgatha (Daily Independent)

It is really depressing n I sincerely feel Poster. I quite agree with house, this should serve as a lesson to everyone of us. In as much as we respect our pastors, lets try to call a spade a spade at all times: Pastors are also humans also!!!

You don't have to lose hope. At 49 you can still get married and have children. But to say the truth, you trusted your pastors more than you trusted God. Man may fail but God does not. If your faith had been in God and that you began to grow in grace after salvation then you won't be in this mess. Every Believer should learn how to know God's will. God speaks to His children but alas many are not listening at all. Bible has it's standard as regards every issue of life. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. If your suitors in your youthful days were unbelievers no sane pastor will encourage you to marry them. After all "reverend sisters/fathers' do not marry nor have children. Saying that advice on chastity has earned you menopause is a blatant lie. Chastity is still the in-thing now. If you were not chaste, you may have contracted HIV/AIDS. Girls don't get valuable husbands by sleeping around with men. In fact, any man worth his name will never marry a girl that he took to bed easily. I do not believe that you told us the whole truth of what transpired between when you repented and now. It is possible you had an ideal man (idol) in the heart which unfortunately never proposed because such "Utopian" man never existed anywhere. I know of ladies that wanted to marry rich men and rejected all their eligible but struggling suitors only to turn around after it was late to blame others and seek for deliverance from evil curses placed on them by no one but themselves. Some of those men she rejected and called non-starters are wealthy today enjoying with their families. So repent for idolising your Pastors and make sure your name is still in the Book of Life, then believe God for a miracle. It is also possible that you are angry now with your Pastors and/ or have backsliden. Refrain from that, stop regretting, and move forward. Many of your mates were married yet without children for 30yrs now. Some of your mates are in prison, some are dead and are in hell fire now and worse still some of your mates are mad in different parts of the world.
Wipe away your tears of regret, remain chaste and you will see the salvation of God. He never disappoints. He knows all you're passing through my sister.
Shalom.

IBEXY:

Alas this story is mirrored everyday all around us. There are thousands of ladies (and a few men) like this. There are plenty of selfish "men of God" who mislead young people with their fake wisdom. The issue does not only apply to meeting the opposite gender and getting married, it involves you surrendering all your hard earned money as well every sunday to people who intimidate and tell you exactly what you want to hear. The pastor may have even wanted her for himself - who knows. Sheer jealousy could have motivated his actions.

In my experience I have met at least two ladies who live exactly like this. One eventually married. The other one is still parambulating up and down at nearly 50yrs old. Infact I thought she wrote this story because she is in the same age bracket. What man wants a woman who would call your every move "devilish". I still remember her now:

- She does not watch movies,
- no music is good except gospel songs (only the ones she likes)
- no parties, or eating out
- no sexy clothing (its all garish long skirt and scarves no makeup either)
- She condemns all your clothes as devilish - you should be on suits 24/7
- You must read the bible all the time - get rid of every other books
- Sleep and wake to the sound of a christian chorus.
- Above all, you are not allowed to touch her or any other girl despite you have been dating for nearly a year.
- And then, you must leave every other church and join hers - to worship her pastor as an equal to Christ.
- Contribute a massive chunk of my salary to the church every month

You guessed right, I left her. The pressure was too much. I was becoming an extremist and begining to forget how to enjoy life. Today I met and married a fellow "sinner" and we live happily.  Extremism works out badly in the end. You loose social skills, friends and forget how to live and enjoy life. You cannot spiritualise the physical without suffering the consequance.

The worst part is you will see people coming to this thread to encourage her to keep praying instead of arranging a man for her. What she needs is not more prayers. God already answered those prayers by sending men but her selfish pastor sent them away. What she needs now is a man. Am therefore appealing to any unmarried nairalander to consider this open hearted application in good faith.

Dude, please tell me you are joking. Cos the woman you described seems too extreme to be true. No eating out? No movies (Not even Christian ones?)

This story reminds me of the Christian joke below.

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.


The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"


Expecting God to come down from heaven to show us the way is never a good thing.

I feel extremely sorry for her sha. If all else fails, then, at least she knows that she is going to heaven just  like the man in the story.