I want to know if men really like those women that make them spend the more. like so many married men that go out with their girlfriends buy them expensive things, even the once that pay for sex. I don’t ask much from my husband , when we got married, our wedding was not like that kind of wedding that people will come and eat, dance and drink their selves out, it was a small ceremony, we invite some friend and a man of GOD bless us as husband and wife, it was like that because we have no money to held a big ceremony. He did not give me diamond or that kind ring but am not complaining, as some people use to do traditional wedding we did not do it. As I said am not complain we have kids now. But sometime he use to tell me that people value what they spend on. And it make me thinks am a cheap person. So I want to know if men really like those women that make them spend the more.

kafikac:

I want to know if men really like those women that make them spend the more. like so many married men that go out with their girlfriends buy them expensive things, even the once that pay for sex. I don’t ask much from my husband , when we got married, our wedding was not like that kind of wedding that people will come and eat, dance and drink their selves out, it was a small ceremony, we invite some friend and a man of GOD bless us as husband and wife, it was like that because we have no money to held a big ceremony. He did not give me diamond or that kind ring but am not complaining, as some people use to do traditional wedding we did not do it. As I said am not complain we have kids now.

But sometime he use to tell me that people value what they spend on.

And it make me thinks am a cheap person. So I want to know if men really like those women that make them spend the more.

I've heard the above  , to be honest I'm still trying to work out if "people" truly mean it.

I think you are the opposite of cheap, a person like yourself should be valued above rubies and pearls, I'm not sure if I have that old quote correct.

Yes, it is true. Not only men. Humans in general value what they spend their money on than on what didn't cost them money.

But it is not always in the form of money, it could also be time, sacrifice, etc.

I think your husband may fall into the latter class. You can only judge him when he has money and doesn't like spending some on you.

excanny:

Yes, it is true. Not only men. Humans in general value what they spend their money on than on what didn't cost them money.
But it is not always in the form of money, it could also be time, sacrifice, etc.

I think your husband may fall into the latter class. You can only judge him when he has money and doesn't like spending some on you.

Sadly I know, your correct, fortunately it's not ALL Humans who feel like that, some are like the the @thread starter, very caring and understanding.

I've been given help FREELY, by many people, some on this site. I VALUE that MORE than anything I've paid for.

madlady:

Sadly I know, your correct, fortunately it's not ALL Humans who feel like that, some are like the the @thread starter, very caring and understanding.

I've been given help FREELY, by many people, some on this site. I VALUE that MORE than anything I've paid for.

Yes, you made a good point. Sometimes we value gifts, advice, help and so on that we didn't pay for.

But if you look at it critically, you'll see that these ones too aren't all that FREE but involve what i noted earlier as SACRIFICE. If you get an gift, help or advice from Nairaland, you didn't just get it free. First, you needed to be on NL. You had to prove yourself to be a likeable person for whoever was assisting you to do so. Finally, you had to make effort to get that assistance.

So if i'll like to rephrased my stand again- Humans in general dont value things that didn't cost us anything.

excanny:

Yes, it is true. Not only men. Humans in general value what they spend their money on than on what didn't cost them money.

But it is not always in the form of money, it could also be time, sacrifice, etc.

I think your husband may fall into the latter class. You can only judge him when he has money and doesn't like spending some on you.

I believe you know him, he never like spending more on me, I don't know why.He only want save because he want to build a house, am not complaining but sometimes I need something as a human. I don't know if he is calling me a fool or what. I have been with a guy before whom I help so much hoping will get married but at the end he got married to another woman. I said I will stop been good to men but can't. Maybe God created to be a caring person or are just good because of the way I was raised. Please tell me why he don't like spending money on me. or buying me things that I needed.

kafikac:

I believe you know him, he never like spending more on me, I don't know why.He only want save because he want to build a house, am not complaining but sometimes I need something as a human. I don't know if he is calling me a fool or what. I have been with a guy before whom I help so much hoping will get married but at the end he got married to another woman. I said I will stop been good to men but can't. Maybe God created to be a caring person or are just good because of the way I was raised. Please tell me why he don't like spending money on me. or buying me things that I needed.

I can't say for sure because humans are very complex. There might be 2 possibilities.

1. You might have found yourself in a loveless marriage. In this case, as long as he's not violent and threatening your life, you will have to cope with him. You also have to consider looking for a job or business to support yourself.

2. He's trying to be thrifty due to his financial commitments(like you said, your family is building a house, possibly from your family savings). But that is no excuse for him not to pay the bills.

However, in all, you might need to make your own money because you sound like you are a full-time housewife. This is just my little thoughts. Hopefully, others will advice you more.

The issue with your marriage is more than you're letting on here. You opened a thread sometime ago about your husband physically abusing you or the like. Now he doesn't spend on you. It seems there are so many issues with you and your husband but unfortunately we can't hear from him here.

Are you a full-time house wife?

Do you live in Nigeria or outside?

How old is your marriage?

Are you certain your husband is spending on girls outside or you merely suspect him?

Me just have a feeling that you're just giving us one side of the story. You always paint yourself as a saint. If you're that good and your hubby is in his right senses, then all these shouldn't be happening to you.

Please don't get me wrong, not trying to blame you for anything but maybe if you let us in more, we'll know how to really give advise.

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madlady:

Don't do that, I have just found out that your 1st statement really is correct. Sad but true.

You mean like recently? i hope you are fine, dear.

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