Dear brothers and sisters I have a big problem. I have a predilection for Amala, that is the meal that is made from Yam flour. I can eat it at anytime of the day or night and I am sure that if I get a whiff of it in my sleep I can sleepwalk to it and scoff the whole pot before going back to bed without even waking up. You all will just wake up to find that there is no more amala in the pot.

Now my problem, and it is a big one, lies in the fact that there is absolutely no mention of Amala in the bible. Not even Yam. This is very worrisome for me. If it was Iyan, that is pounded yam, that one is still better because it is white in colour and so might connote some sort of holiness. But Amala is BLACK! Could this be the devil's food.

Please help!!

e36991:

@Pastor AIO

NL's most favourite pastor!

Is this a ploy to smoke someone out

Anyway amala is not the devil's food ooo

but dare I tell you this for nothing.

The devil eats men dust for breakfast

That is biblical. At least the without the breakfast bit

toba:

hahahahahahahahahaha. lolrmaof


But jesus used to eat in Martha's house and some pastors said it was EFO RIRO that she normally cook for him. Probably they ate 'amala' then as well

JeSoul:

Is that so? okay then . . .

- I hope you don't have a car or use buses or trains cos those too are unbiblical. The only biblical mode of transportation is via camel-power, or if you're rich, horse-driven chariots.

- I hope also you don't stay in a wooden/cement house. Only hand-built tents are allowed

- And if you use a computer, cell-phone or any technological device, you are at the height of sin-dom. You must restrict yourself to writing like Jesus did - in the sand. Or if you want the records preserved, then some papyra scrolls will do. Don't use too big lettering or much ink though, excess is unbiblical.

- Do you wear clothes? are they of the approved biblical material? no jeans or leather or anything of that sinful sort.

the list is endless, but with some careful and painstaking dedication, I know you can do it goodluck!

Deep Sight:

Pastor is driving at something more subtle, friends.

The reputation of the man alone should move y'all stop and think.

When a man of such a vast mind and such depth of heart and perception writes such things. . . satire is eminently afoot.

I am not sure I have struck at the base that he is driving at but off the top of my head it looks like two things -

1. The mentality of restricting oneself to ideas that were prevalent at the time of the bible and

2. The mentality that that which is associated with the cultures of fairer races is also more spiritually uplifting than ours.

This, it turns out, is a brilliant sattire against spiritual colonial-mentality, other wise known as KOLO-MENTAL!

Bravo, Pastor.

InesQor:

@Deep Sight:

Maybe its just me, but the point was clear from the moment I saw the thread title in the list under the Religion Section.   I opened expecting to find comedy and satire.

I have said it many times before, Pastor AIO is besides himself!  

---

@OP: It is NOT Biblical, whether na white one oh or black one  

Biblical: In keeping with the nature of the Bible or its times or people.

Unfortunately, the same thing applies to beans and dodo.  

Where is our moderator manmust[size=15pt]wac[/size]? He should have something to say here. . .

denony:

Can't anyone figure out what i figured?
The poster is obsessed with amala
that he can even eat the one meant for dog,
he started wondering, if amala is unbiblical/EVIL because he was so attached to eat that he can even woke at midnights, sneak to kitchen and emty any pot containing amala.

HE JUST NEEDS HELP ON HOW TO QUIT

JUO:

you no get work

kunlekunle:

satan gave apple to eve,

espn:

very senseless talk, daft indeed.

But If na trouser or skirt matter e no go daft.  How is that fair?  Was this thread daft?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13329.0.html

Na ordinary Amala I dey chop but if I kill person or start war you no go say I daft.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-431.0.html  

I can even wear make up, I no daft!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-96474.160.html

Just because these things are in the bible or are not in the bible.

I say it is a demonstration of Craze - Demo-Crazy.  Is there voting in the bible?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-432252.0.html

I say we should chose our president by casting lots

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-542527.0.html

It is okay to hate moslems as long as you do it biblically!
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-158785.0.html

I believe in trinity but it is not biblical.  Does that mean I'm damned?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-262921.0.html


I'm the igbo smoking pastor just because I like amala and I want to do the right thing but all these other people haven't smoked igbo.  They are considered quite sane.  

Please, if you cannot help me with my enquiry then all of you please go and sit down.  Again I ask, I hope my love for Amala is not going to damn me for all time?  

Yes o, damned for all time because Judas was a black man, and Jesus was a Superstar.

[flash=200,200]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd_uXBW-3Vg?fs=1&hl=en_US"[/flash]

Krayola:

hehehe. See as pastorAIO start nuclear war because of Amala. I think what he is trying to get at is how people use the bible as a guide for everything, and at what point this exercise may become silly. People have asked questions about all types of practices but hardly ever get the kinds of hostile responses this thread has. I wonder why that is.

How should the Bible guide believers? Are u allowed to do only what the bible explicitly endorses? Are u forbidden to do only what the bible forbids? Is whatever has not been commanded by the Bible forbidden?

e.g. If the Bible does not explicitly condemn/forbid pedophilia does that mean it is allowed?

If someone asks "is Pedophilia unbiblical"? what will an adequate, bible supported, response look like? I've seen some Christians give a lot of Muslims stick for this and I don't think I've ever seen a biblical quote supporting their rejection of the practice.

what about beatiality?


What about the cruel murder of animals for sport?

What about the environment?

What about eating amala?  

When can we use our own "best" judgment to decide our conduct, and can this ever take precedence over what the Bible says?

Carlosein:

i neither support nor condone pastorAIO's post cos i read it for what i think it is, satire. but i want to say that the way some christians go about asking 'show me where this or that is in the bible' begets such reactions.

that being said, i'm not sure about 'everything black is evil and all white is good'.

Krayoooooooooo! I vex o! How you go just abandon us like that?

Unfortunately, I doubt your post is going to be read because after reading the OP I think most people will just proceed to make their response without reading the rest of the thread. That is how people fail exams!! No be so?

Your analyses is very correct o jare. Clap for yasef! Just for that I forgive you for running away like the prodigal son. Welcome back. Care to join me for some amala?

Enigma:

That is all well and good! How about when some non-Christian (and even some Christian) ignoramuses say e.g. the "Trinity" is not 'biblical' and so is not true?

{Some of them even insist on the proven daft and idiotic view that it was formed at a council meeting.}

That's exactly what Jesus was doing IMO.

Krayola:

What exactly are we supposed to do with God's commands when scripture shows God involved in numerous murders?

aletheia:

You do realize the above is provocative? Right?

aletheia:

You do realize the above is provocative? Right?

Image123:

^Then again, my executioner friend must be a mass murderer by your logics. It's miraculous that he walks free right in front of THE LAW.

Image123:

^Then again, my executioner friend must be a mass murderer by your logics. It's miraculous that he walks free right in front of THE LAW. (don't kill or u will be executed)

Krayola:

@Jeseoul. wass hup? U just forget me sha. It's not good o.

What do you think about eating cats, dogs, horses, zebras, monkeys? If your neighbour was killin cute little cats for their "fur" do you think God might have a problem with that? Would you eat any or some or all of them? If I killed my dog would that be a sin? What if i killed him for food would it be a sin? Are humans the only animals we are forbidden to murder in cold blood?

I just remembered that God led the Israelites in battle after commanding them not to kill. What exactly are we supposed to do with God's commands when scripture shows God involved in numerous murders?

nuclearboy:
I breed table catfish and the next time anyone here decides to visit me, will take a couple and cut them up as table fare. Would I (and guest) then be mass-murderers? Well, maybe from the point of view of the fish but would anyone here agree with them?

In my opinion, Jesus spent his whole ministry doing what you guys think is an abomination. Reinterpreting the scripture to serve the needs of the people in their time. I think this practice of looking for instructions on everything in a 2000 year old manual is silly. Jesus and other galiliean pharisees saw this and breathed new life into old Jewish teachings. Hence the resistance from the rigid conservative Jerusalem Pharisees, who kinda remind me of lots of christians that accuse others of diluting christianity.  That's exactly what Jesus was doing IMO. He was a reformer, and he was diluting Judaism.  Times and circumstances change, and It becomes more practical, and more doable when it's diluted.  . . . It's a new time and those standards are outdated. Damn!!   

Let's dilute Christianity. That's the new campaign. 

BTW Jesus didn't explicitly ban the use of marijuana so blame him for this post 

Krayola:
The case in the bible is like a mother telling her kids never to steal and then going with them, in fact leading them, on a shoplifting spree.

JeSoul:

Over time the essence of a command or directive is lost and legalism takes over such that the reason for an action being ordered in the first place was lost and people go about it ritualistically with no real effect on their hearts.

nuclearboy:

Obviously, your preference would be that you be considered an equal or same as God, right?

Wow, what a brilliantly informed view! I'm clapping for you here using my arse- cheeks.

nuclearboy:

^^ Friend, next time, avoid the theatrics and advertising that you attended high school and can write. you ought have gone straight to the point and wished me good luck seeing as that's all can be gleaned from your presence here.

Btw, thanks for the kind wishes.

BaboonYansh:

I'm really at a loss to see christians justifying mass-murder and calling the lives of innocent men, women and children -whose only crime is being born in the wrong ethnicity- catfish. If its the within the purview of your God to murder people and command others to commit mass murder in his name, what the is the complaint of Christians against Allah and Mohammed?. On what basis do they call Allah and Mohammed evil, bloodthristy, murderes etc?

Why souldn't Osama bin Laden run planes into buildings in the name of Allah? We are all table fish in the eyes of Allah, we are his property so any christian calling Allah or Mohammed evil is just a self contradicting hypocrite.

nuclearboy:

^^ Better go start studying for next years JME. You obviously need much more knowledge to get up to par if you could post that dung-shot again and actually highlight it.

Peace, love and many kisses.

BaboonYansh:

I'm really at a loss to see christians justifying mass-murder and calling the lives of innocent men, women and children -whose only crime is being born in the wrong ethnicity- catfish. If its the within the purview of your God to murder people and command others to commit mass murder in his name, what the is the complaint of Christians against Allah and Mohammed?. On what basis do they call Allah and Mohammed evil, bloodthristy, murderes etc?

Why souldn't Osama bin Laden run planes into buildings in the name of Allah? We are all table fish in the eyes of Allah, we are his property so any christian calling Allah or Mohammed evil is just a self contradicting hypocrite.

nuclearboy:



Yeah I know - limited intellect

BaboonYansh:

I'm really at a loss to see christians justifying mass-murder and calling the lives of innocent men, women and children -whose only crime is being born in the wrong ethnicity- catfish. If its the within the purview of your God to murder people and command others to commit mass murder in his name, what the is the complaint of Christians against Allah and Mohammed?. On what basis do they call Allah and Mohammed evil, bloodthristy, murderes etc?

Why souldn't Osama bin Laden run planes into buildings in the name of Allah? We are all table fish in the eyes of Allah, we are his property so any christian calling Allah or Mohammed evil is just a self contradicting hypocrite.

nuclearboy:

Misleading if not provocative!

I breed table catfish and the next time anyone here decides to visit me, will take a couple and cut them up as table fare. Would I (and guest) then be mass-murderers?  Well, maybe from the point of view of the fish but would anyone here agree with them?

nuclearboy:

Why can't we be honest for once? How do you wish to compare God (creator) to a "mother" who accompanies on a theiving spree. Does not the OWNER have right over His property? 

JeSoul:

Ahn ahn na you forget me now. I sent you an email complete with cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles asking for forgiveness for not replying sooner as I was occupied and off the grid for a while. Infact I saw your release self . . . oya, how many copies so far?

aletheia:

^^^And that's the point Pastor AIO was making with his Amala dilemma! But sadly some didn't see it.

Krayola:

haha. I just saw your email. CONGRATS!!! chei, that lucky man sha! God haff butta his bread and sugar his tea well well o.

The songs are available for free download and the response has been great. Thanks Shooting a few videos next month and finishing up my mix-tape. Artistes don't make no money till they are known and have established a fan base so thats what I'm working on now. No be small thing o, but e go happen. I gotta run but I will respond to your post later today. Thanks