I am a lady madly in love with a man, and all my hope and vision was to say I do some day, but to my greatest surprise I caught him with another lady. So the both of us decided to call it off.

Later the guy called to say he's sorry. You know as a lady you have to do some shakara before you accept the guy, but when I did that the guy insulted the hell out of me. He called me names and the most embarrassing part of it is that the guy said "afterall he has seems both inner and outer part of the girl"

Now my question, what do I do? is it proper to insult a lady after sleeping with her?

Serves u right girl! U should know that we men are sharks.

Girls make a lot of mistakes just because they wanna get married to a guy. Shame...

You caught your guy making up with another lady..................end of story, Did you think he really loved you and thats why he came back begging, girl you really need to think straight and for heavens sake the world is filled with guys but then be very careful cos we come in different packages so make sure the package u want has been properly endorsed before you go ahead to make it yours and here'sa one rule of the game......Be friends with your man before you become lovers and then you must have a close friend of his as ur personal person that way u'll know he's in n outs even if it's been hidden from you it'll come out by mistake one day except of course he's a very smooth criminal....So lady forget the one you caught in bed with another lady n move on with your life n be happy u werent married before now...Chou!!!!

Loose girl!

All I can say is that the end-result of shakara and insincerity is what you've experienced. You are immature, hence your shakara, and your dream man is also immature, hence his reaction. (oops, I myself may be immature to someone else)

As per your question about insulting a lady after sleeping with her, is there any gold in your bosom? Is it something he can spend in the market? Did sleeping with you make him rich and give him supernatural powers? Where did you get the idea that once a man sleeps with you he has to start worshipping you? Get back to earth, girl, you are not the only one with female assets.

All you guys that have replied this way are a big bigg bigggg disgrace. The poor girl is in an abusive relationship. You want her to take her boyfriend just like that after he has cheated on her. If he really loved you beautiful, he wouldn't have cheated on you and when he is coming back to apologize he should have bought you gifts, and kept trying even when you did shakara. The guy doesn't love you. he only wanna take advantage of your present situation. Why should he be insulting you From the tone of your mail it is like he doesn't really care about your feelings so you better move on with life.

The two of you lacks seriously in maturity. Expectedly and without any recourse to any written rule anywhere, the guy is suppose to be more mature and should not have insulted you.

what a pity, what am going to advise u is that life goes on and it a lesson to all ladies out dere to be careful and think well b4 u make a choice.

Yinkus, welcome to NairaLand. Wish u nice stay here.

Yeeeepa!!..That modasucka got some nerves....after kpanshin he has the guts to insult u....BEAUTIFULL my dear move on..The guy is a loser jere...

Girl don't worry about it infact forget him if he really loved you he wouldn't have insulted you and it wasn't your fault. Someone worthy of your love will come your way and will treat you with respect and not stupid insults!

u dont deserve it in any way at all viewing it from any stand point.such is life ok, a woman doesnt stop concieving cos its painful to give birth not at all.u did wot u are suppose to do as a girl cos thats ur pride. sleeping with u or not doesnt take out a pin from whom u are, after all theres no proof.

still be open minded but more careful,dnt be too concious cos he treated u like that,he slept with u and u slept with him period.he has seen all about u so have u. theres no victor and vanquish here.u will mk him a victor if u feel too bad,let him go, if he comes back since u said that u love him,take him back but put sex far away for a while and watch him,people break up and make up abi, i have heard about couples who have been devorce 7 times and came back 7 times.they cant stay without each other and cant live together. just be objective and open minded.

VOICE OF CHOCHORI

Please people, be easy on the poor girl now. Beautifull, I think you need to move on. He's not the only man in the world and he's definitely not worth a second chance. Keep doing your shakara but always remember that you can only do shakara to a guy who has not seen your 'yansh'. So don't give in to the next guy, ok? That way, you can do enoughhhhhhh shakara and he won't be able to insult you.

Now my question, what do I do? is it proper to insult a lady after sleeping with her?

Nope, its a very immature thing to do. if its any consolation....he was just hurt and in his tiny mind he felt that by belittling something which would have been special and intimate between you two, he was getting back at you.

So move on, i am sure there are more men out there with some decency.
Good luck!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn

The first time ive seen a guy behave like that. I wonder what the problem of some guyz is?

Does sleeping with u increase the money in his bank account, does it brighten his future, pay his living expenses, take care of his family, make him educated or what? Does it do anything 4 anybody? Has all his problems in his life now been solved?

He is just beign childish and immature. But again it showz that too much shakara does not do anything 4 anybody either, but in this case, since infidelity was the case i guess he never had any respect 4u. Do u really think that such a person would be good as a husband? He would still go around sleeping with all the women coz he has no respect 4u.
And guyz that do this how would u like it if she went about telling everybody that your Pepe is small, or that you're a one minute man, or a complete novice? That don't sound good either does it? A responsible guy would not use the special moments u guyz had to turn around and belittle u. Afterall many women have met guyz who can't last one minute in bed but have helped them to improve their performance and their self esteem rather than go about telling other people of it or belittiling them with it

IAH:

Please people, be easy on the poor girl now. Beautifull, I think you need to move on. He's not the only man in the world and he's definitely not worth a second chance. Keep doing your shakara but always remember that you can only do shakara to a guy who has not seen your 'yansh'. So don't give in to the next guy, ok? That way, you can do enoughhhhhhh shakara and he won't be able to insult you.

hmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnn.
@IAH it has all to do with the maturity and love of the people involved. Even if u don't give the guy anything and then got married to him (like she said she said she could marry the guy), would u really want such a guy as your husband?
For a full flegged adult to turn the lovely and endearing moments u spend together into something 4 insults its just plain childishness

I reply the way i do coz i know my own love is not conditioned  by

Much shakara= More appreciation (my lady would alwayz have my respect. Shakara and hard to get not called 4)

Sex=Lowering her worth (sex can be an expression of our deep feelings towards each other, its a two way thing)


In the context of what we are talking now, the lady should pls look 4 a guy that will accord her the respect she deserves (unless she is the one feeling that its b/cos they have had sex)

IAH:

Please people, be easy on the poor girl now. Beautifull, I think you need to move on. He's not the only man in the world and he's definitely not worth a second chance. Keep doing your shakara but always remember that you can only do shakara to a guy who has not seen your 'yansh'. So don't give in to the next guy, ok? That way, you can do enoughhhhhhh shakara and he won't be able to insult you.

So if a guy has seen your 'yansh', you can no longer do shakara to him? Fallacy of the highest order. Unless the girl is not sweet. If a girl is ever sweet down there, a guy will always want to come back and will always be the one to beg because, he will not want any other man to taste out of the horney in the pot.

There are some ladies who will not starve you with good sex (shakara) as a lover but who you can not also afford to lose.

Eyaaaahhh... sorry.

That guy is immature, like really stupid and insane.. he's a stupid loser.

Anyways girl, just forget about him, suck up the insults and move on. Forget about whether or not you love him, you shouldn't love a guy that would cheat on you, talk more of a guy that insulted YOU!.

Throw him away and move on with your life.. also remember to keep them legs tight.

yemstrad:

So if a guy has seen your 'yansh', you can no longer do shakara to him? Fallacy of the highest order. Unless the girl is not sweet. If a girl is ever sweet down there, a guy will always want to come back and will always be the one to beg because, he will not want any other man to taste out of the horney in the pot.

As much as i'd love to see your point, I DON'T SEE IT. Sweet down there or no sweet down there, you guys know the truth.. once you've tapped that thing, it takes teh grace of God, love you have for the girl and less of EGO for you to respect the girl. Majority of guys totaly feel as if, hmmm "wat's left?" Ive done the BABA, the main thing!. So don't even go to the fallacabilty or is it fallacy or falla watever.

Serves u right girl! U should know that we men are sharks.

rilla64:

Loose girl!

Agbaya ni e o rilla64, na for your mouth dem go hear say teacher mother die?

anyway beautiful, life is full of ups and downs, we all make bad choices and decisions, we learn and we move on.....funny enough everyone has said the truth to you in their own way just brace yourself up and keep your head straight, someone is out there waiting to receive all your shakara and still love you beyond your wildest imaginations .......................make him happy too

welcome to NL...........the home of fun, laugh and weirdos

I was wondering why everyone was calling her beautifull, now i see that it's a username.

@ hotangel, you got me laughing

shakara eh? sorry o - i hope you have learned some thing sha.

u don sabi now? to get man no easy.

that a cheats doesnt mean he doesnt love. he might just be plain greedy but will never want to lose u for anything. that he shouts on u or insults doesnt mean he doesnt love too. like what seun says, he could be immature. an immature person can still love but might find it difficult controlling his emotions.

sleeping with a guy has its risks. he might be counting numbers. u know we men feel cool when we talk and say i v creamed 100 girls, 90 girls (mostly lies)...

deji i wont stand around and watch you make men a sitting duck, which one be feel cool with "counting numbers?" me i no be vending maching o...........anyway, im sure she is able to sift out the wheat from the chaff in what you have said

hot-angel:

Majority of guys totally feel as if, hmmm "what's left?" Ive done the BABA, the main thing!.

So, then what exactly is left? If all women are good for is that one time in bed why should the guy look forward to anything else? Obviously, there must be more or we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

hot-angel:

I was wondering why everyone was calling her beautifull, now i see that it's a username.

*LMAO*...kpele

Sorry about the incident, yours is not the first so, you take heart.
My word for all ladies is just to know the type of person they roll with and submitting yourself so a guy 100% can be detrimental to you.
But that doesnt say you shouldnt give other person the chance oo

When you dont abstain from sex before marraige this what happens,self guilt and disgrace

try and remain clean ,forgive this guy and move on with your life and above all my dear you

need Jesus more than ever.

Dont think i am niave here its just the truth.I wish you well

Regards

Hi girls,
The replies of all the guys point one direction, that we(girls) will never allow them have their way even when LOVE is in the air until that day you will say 'I DO'.This is a big lesson.
If you don't give them, they won't allow you rest, just follow you like HE-GOAT, telling you all the love in this world.
Little wonder this guy follows like ..... for more than a year now because he never test am.He complains to his friends that I don't love him and he always beg "even if you wont do the thing pls let me see your face every day". I was saying this year BUt now laye- laye even pecking I wont allow him.

My dear, don,t mind the guys.Any HE_GOAT that comes arround no mercy, you will see that he will cherish you more. Don't listen to the love story that will come out of his mouth.

_{Mechanics don't allow us know the real mad men. All of em are the same.}

mmomi:

Hi girls,
The replies of all the guys point one direction, that we(girls) will never allow them have their way even when LOVE is in the air until that day you will say 'I DO'.This is a big lesson.
If you don't give them, they won't allow you rest, just follow you like HE-GOAT, telling you all the love in this world.
Little wonder this guy follows like ..... for more than a year now because he never test am.He complains to his friends that I don't love him and he always beg "even if you wont do the thing please let me see your face every day". I was saying this year BUt now laye- laye even pecking I wont allow him.

My dear, don,t mind the guys.Any HE_GOAT that comes arround no mercy, you will see that he will cherish you more. Don't listen to the love story that will come out of his mouth.

_{Mechanics don't allow us know the real mad men. All of em are the same.}

Bi oko kan o re ejinrin, egbegberun e a lo. If one commercial cab refuses to ply the route to ejinrin, thousand others will ply it

@beautifull just wize up coz this could happen again. women never learn... or they learn the wrong things