we are really in love and we hope to get married soon but i wonder what both families will say when they find out.i wonder if there are great disadvantages getting married to someone younger

Hmmmmmm! This is serious, and don't forget that it is marriage you both are talking about here?

Just think about it very well, If i were to be in your shoes, I don't think i can.

u shouldn't care. do u know how lucky you're to find someone u love and who loves u in return?. marry the poor guy, i can assure u that in marriage u will have the same set of problems all other marriages have. yours wont be more difficult because of the age gap.
enjoy! life is too short to worry about non-issues like this.

@ omindav

You don't see it as a problem, he doesn't consider it a set-back, he still wants to marry you regardless the "3 years" difference, and you were saying??

What do you care if either of your families find something wrong with it?? Are you getting married to them?? Its left for both of you to prove to them that the age thingy notwithstanding, you're perfect for each other.

The lady being older than the guy, somewhat has bully from the lady, disrespect towards the husband and possibilities of outgrowing the husband written all over it

But believe me, your case wouldn't be the first, some have failed the test woefully, but there are some that have stood out the test of time. You can be in the latter group But the ball is in your court.

Do you have the kind of respect that you would have had for an older guy for him?? though you're older, you do realise his position in the family and household (to be)?? you guys don't have the "lady older than the guy" tagg labelled on you, right?? You guys have all it takes to make a marriage a successful one, shey?? Nothing would have been different even if he was the older one, abi??

If YES is your answer to the above questions, dearie you might be damned not to marry this guy over the "age" issue.
You just have to make the world see reasons with you, just don't carry yourself in a manner that suggests the "issue", and believe me, you'll find your families saying . . "gosh, we wouldn't even have guessed in a zillion years, its her or nobody ooh"!!!!

i wonder what both families will say when they find out

Actually, the families don't have to find out if you don't want them to. If it's a Yoruba family, be very careful.
If your relationship is strong in every other way, this is no problem. If it is not, this issue will expose the weaknesses.

Do you respect him despite his age? Does he feel lucky to have you despite your age? If so, good luck!

Gurl av been looking for a way to say this.My babe is also 3 years older than i am which i got to knw few days ago.It kind bugs me but i dnt really give 2 f***ks u knw.The problem will only be the family.

@Seun
U r sayn d family doesn't av to knw*****whts gonna happen when d wify gets more wrinkled than d Hussy n she can give birth again when d Hobby still has a lot of yogurt to spray about uh?

@poster
Only God can help ooooo.Plz plz plz plz n plz FOLLOW THY HEART

if you say you are in love and its just three years then there's no probs cos as long as there is love then there must be respect,forget the families,its between the two of you.

My friend's wife is 4 years older than him ,they have 2 kids aged 9 and 8.
From scratch they have built a business worth £2 million pounds, they are happy travel worldwide for holidays yearly.
The sort of relations you speak of only call them to ask for money pay respects.
MORAL-It does not matter

Hello my dear age is just a number and what you should care about is love.
i, my self my girl friend is older than me , and we have no problem with it even from the first day we mate.

omindav:

we are really in love and we hope to get married soon but i wonder what both families will say when they find out.i wonder if there are great disadvantages getting married to someone younger

how many times do i have to reassure ladies that its ok?  im older than my husband. it has never been an issue. he even looks older than moi. his parents know im older. they didnt care. they love me dearly. if the parents have a problem with that then its their problem. you guys keep on living.

as long as he is ready then there is no problem. even if u are three years older, u will still look younger than him any day. so no it is not a problem

omo, 3 years, it's absolutely not okay man.
2 years into your marriage if you plan on getting married, she'll have you saying yessa-massa.

fekuti:

omo, 3 years, it's absolutely not okay man.
2 years into your marriage if you plan on getting married, she'll have you saying yessa-massa.

and you think younger women dont control men? dont be ignorant.

and you think younger women don't control men? don't be ignorant.

He didn't ask about younger women did he now? that doesn't happen as much as it does with the older ones by the way.
and it's not ignorance, it's the truth. take it with a pinch of salt.

spoilt i was joking about that post, the 3-year age differene isn't that much of a big deal until she grows a nut about her age.

@omindav - I really don't think 3 years of an age difference is that much of an issue, yeah there might be raised eyebrows and questions but if you both do truly love and care for eachother and in every other way you are the loving couple with you giving him the respect and honour as the man/your man, then this is all that matters at the end of the day. If you are both genuine and everything else is on point then the families will be able to see thru this element and support you in your wishes to marry.

fekuti:

He didn't ask about younger women did he now? that doesn't happen as much as it does with the older ones by the way.
and it's not ignorance, it's the truth. take it with a pinch of salt.

spoilt i was joking about that post, the 3-year age differene isn't that much of a big deal until she grows a nut about her age.

why would she grow a nut ( whatever that means) about her age?
why on earth do you think that brides older than their husbands are more inclined to being bossy than the younger ones? last time i checked a bossy woman is a bossy woman despite her husband's age.

why would she grow a nut ( whatever that means) about her age?

Lol, you answered your own question, "about her age"
"He can't have authority over me, i'm older than he is."

why on earth do you think that brides older than their husbands are more inclined to being bossy than the younger ones? last time i checked a bossy woman is a bossy woman despite her husband's age.

It just so happens that those bossy women are either older than their husbands, or richer than their husbands?
I've seen this often home girl, just the other day my friend told me his girl wouldn't give him the key to "his" car, because "she" bought the gas in it.
but heyyy, I ain't got nothing to worry about cos "I'm Bossy" too!

dinner m:

if you say you are in love and its just three years then there's no probs because as long as there is love then there must be respect,forget the families,its between the two of you.

Just as long as you respect your man, and dont rub it in that you older incase you guys have a misunderstanding, than in my opinion go ahead with the marriage.

Really age aint nothin but a number, cus forexample i wont mind loving and getting married to halle berry even though she's 16yrs older than moi

All this worrying about age confuses me, really it does.

I know people much younger than me that I have a lot of respect for. I also know people who are much older than me that I have little respect for. You get respect from how you act, what sort of person you are, your character. The date you were born doesn't have much influence on those things.

what is love if not to be enjoyed by the TWO people involued.from your note,both of you love each and what else do you want. you dont mind the age difference neither does he.i am in love with a lady 6 years older than me and we are doing the traditional weeding hopefully next month.people raised a few eye brows but knowing that it is what we want, they could do nothing about it.so, go ahead and marry your guy before you end up regreting it.

very ok and 4 real. Believe in your self dats all.Remember its ur life and no one can   rule ur world. Make more of it happen in our generation.
Age aint nothin but a number, ALIYAH

Left for me friend. There is nothing bad two of u coming together. Age is not the main thing but if she or he's the one God has prepare for ur life partner definatly u are made to be together. have a 1daful day.

The problem has to do with you personally. Accepting this issue on a positive psychological stability and as well stydying her to an extent, for any traces of egotism will help. If this is settled and the submissive aura will be eternally cast on her, then ride on in the path of thy choice. PACEM

Its between you two ok, let the love and passion flow deep inside, wish u the best , awww! bless ur poor heart my dear .

Call me ignorant, but I dont seem to understand what the problem is. I have gone out in the past with people even 12 years older than me and we respected each other, I think the mentality that what the family would think about it is crazy.
Older women not only show a good time, the added benefits of the fact that are proud and ok with thier body is a great relief, there isn't that stupid question of do I look fat (which younger girls are bothered about).

I think you should get on with it, the families wont be there forever you know!

I thought you said he loves you and you love him return,then i will think age is nothing but a number,but thats if and only if you are so sure that you will still give him all the respect he deserves as a husband even though he's younger than you.

If you think you won't feel bossy and refer to it when misunderstandings arise between you two,then its alright.

Concerning the issues of your parents,they don't need to know your age and if they must know,they don't need to know your real age.So you can always get away with that.All the best.

My sister, to answer your question, yes. It is okay for both of you to marry.There is no fear in love, perfect love cast out fear. Age doesn't enter into the equation.

HI, IT'S A NORMAL THING IF YOU GET MARRIED TO EACH OTHER REGARDLESS OF THE AGE DIFFERENCE. " U'RE AS OLD AS YOU THINK YOU ARE" WHICH BOILS DOWN TO THE FACT THAT AGE DOESN'T REALLY DETERMINE IF ONE IS MATURED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AS A HUSSY/WIFFY, RIGHT

I AM ALSO IN A RELATIONSHIP WHICH MY LOVER (GF) IS OLDER THAN ME WITH THREE YEARS, WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST TWO & HALF YEARS (SINCE OUR PRE-ND) DAYS AND WE'RE PLANNING WALKING DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER IF IT'S GOD'S WILL FOR US.

ON THE ISSUE OF MAKING THE AGE THING A SECRET, IT'S A BAD IDEA COS AS REGARDS TO ME, SHE REBUKED ME OF TELLING MY MUM HER REAL AGE, BUT THE FACT IS THAT I CAN'T JUMP INTO SOMETHING WITHOUT GATHERING ENOUGH INFORMATION FROM THOSE THAT HAVE SEEN IT ALL. AND SHE APPROVES OF IT COS SHE (MUM) KNOW SHE IS MY JOY AND EVERYTHING I LIVE FOR. (THERE'S NO WAY U CAN HIDE THE AGE UNLESS U'R MUM IS BLIND SHE WILL DEFINITELY NOTICE SOMETHING ABOUT HER)

IF YOU RESPECT AND LOVE HIM, GO AHEAD WITH YOUR PLANS AND ALWAYS ASK FOR GOD'S FAVOUR & GUIDANCE.

CHEERIO

Hmmm, age is nothing but a number and number is nothing but a thing.It is only a thing of the mind so if you dont mind then it doesnt matter
Besides, if you dont tell his family members your age no one will know. i cant remember my father of mother in law asking me for my age when i got introduced to them neither can i remember my folks asking my husband for his age when he met them as well.
Marriage is not built on age but love, The bulk of the responsibility lies with you the woman in as much as you dont show it to him that you are older than him when it comes to making decisions. You have to be submissive to him
I can marry someone i am older than as long as we are compatible and comfortable with the age thing between us. Go girl and do you thing

Hey,Hey,Heyyy
Why do we worry so much about our ages.
Think of it this way, it wasn't your doing that you are born at a certain date and time.
You completely have no control over it.
That's why when people sometimes try to attack me by calling me a "small boy", I consider that as a sign of stylishly accepting defeat.

Look sis, If age is something to worry about you wouldn't even fall in love with him in the first place.
The same way that you don't have control over age, you also don't have control over love.
As the saying goes "Attraction is not by choice"

When it comes to marriage, my idea is like this:You don't choose who to fall in love with, you chose whom you have fallen in love with.

So go ahead and get married.
The families? Oh the families, I almost forgot.
They either understand gradually or give up gradually. That's if they didn't accept it in the first place.

fekuti:

Lol, you answered your own question, "about her age"
"He can't have authority over me, i'm older than he is[b]."It just so happens that those bossy women are either older than their husbands, or richer than their husbands?[/b]I've seen this often home girl, just the other day my friend told me his girl wouldn't give him the key to "his" car, because "she" bought the gas in it.

Re-ea-ally? You actually conducted some in-depth attitudinal research into this area, plotted the results into a Gant chart and discovered that bossy women were often 'older or richer' than their husbands. Wonderful! Did it occur to you that the lady who refused to give her husband the keys to the car because she had just put some gas in it, was just being stingy? No. To you, it had to have been the age difference. Are you saying women who are younger than their husbands, do not deny their husbands the use of the car? 

It didn't occcur to you that these women were bossy, simply because being bossy' was a character trait they possessed right from day one, and not because there was an age difference between them & their husbands. Are you saying that if they had been younger than their husbands, they wouldn't have been bossy? Haven't you seen younger women 'lording' it over their husbands or 'bossing' their husbands, around? What does it tell you about the emotional maturity of the man?

Last note: First class, Juintade, spoilt, IG & English1 thanks for your articulate words & logical reasoning. Thumbs up, guys!