[size=14pt]Inter-tribal marriage: What pain, what gain?[/size]


Written by Abiodun Awolaja
Monday, 20 December 2010


•Love beyond tribal affiliation: Radiant Chinyere and Adeyemi on their wedding day

Despite advances in education and modernity, time-honoured strictures against other tribes have remained among Nigerians. In some cultures which even education has not touched, some Nigerians consider inter-tribal marriage an anathema, while others celebrate it as a potent factor for national development. Abiodun Awolaja takes a light-hearted look at the situation.

WHEN the country fought a civil war between 1967-70, the slogan on the mouths of the federal troops and everyone else on the federal side was, “to keep Nigeria one is a task that must be done.’’ Forty years since the end of the war, some Nigerians still deplore inter-tribal marriage, which is one of the potent weapons for welding the country together. These critics of inter-tribal marriage among Nigerians cite the traditional myths against other tribes in the country, and mouth verbal strictures against other tribes without let.

For instance, among many of the indigenes of Plateau State, myths have it that the Yoruba are unusually skilled juju practitioners who could do almost any evil imaginable with black medicine. It is also said that the Yoruba are very dirty people who go to the toilet without cleaning themselves up properly. Parents of mwaghavul, merniang and berom girls are often found relating the misadventure of their women who married among the Yoruba. Interestingly, a Bini food vendor at a motor park in Jos, Plateau State, who heard details from an interaction between this writer and a merniang girl over the phone charged this writer thus in Yoruba: “Ah, e ma fe omo awon ara biyi o. Asewo won ti poju. Iranu won po gan ni. Té ba de Ibadan, e lo wa omobinrin gidi fe. (Ha, don’t marry from this tribe. Their girls are neck deep in prostitution. When you get to Ibadan, go and look for a decent girl to marry).

Among the Yoruba, the Igbo are derided as ajokuta ma mumi (those who eat stone without drinking water), while the Igbo refer to the Yoruba as akintola, the name of an obstructive weed. Again, they refer to the Yoruba as ndi ofe nmanu (people who are fond of eating oily soup), thus ridiculing Yoruba culinary preferences. They also refer to the Yoruba as Yoruba Yoruba, due to their perception that Yoruba people use the adverbial item, ni gbati (when) frequently. Indeed, it appears that the Yoruba fare better than the Hausa among the igbo, who refer to Hausa people as ndi na kpo isi n’ala, meaning people who are fond of hitting their heads on the ground, a practice the Igbo deplore since they are, like many other southern Nigeria tribes, overwhelmingly Christian.

Again, while the Hausa dismiss the Yoruba as berebe, the Yoruba refer to the Hausa by the pejorative term Gambari, hence the wisecrack: Gambari pa Fulani, ko lejo n nu (Gambari kills Fulani; case dismissed). Indeed, one Yoruba joker was so malicious as to claim that in a certain motor accident, “two human beings and two hausa died in the accident.’’

Interestingly, even among people of the same tribe, sub-ethnic preferences obtain during marriage. For instance, other Yoruba tribes dismiss Akure girls as prostitutes who refer to all men as “Ogaa mi,’’ the implication being that Akure girls disguise their sexual promiscuity by referring to their lovers as ‘my master.’ Among the Ondo people, the Oyo people are referred to as koololo, meaning people who do not want their children sent on errands. Thus, Ondo girls would often ask rhetorically : e saa fe koololo? (Who will marry koololo?)

Remarkably, linguistic considerations are often cited against inter-tribal marriage. For instance, a few years ago when this writer was returning from national service in Plateau State, a Merniang girl whom he had jokingly asked whether she would love to go to Yoruba land with him turned down the offer, with the excuse that “if I go to your markets, I won’t understand what the people are saying.’’ The lady, who said she loved the writer, stated that she would marry the writer if he decided to settle down in her town.

Apparently for the lady, who had no opposition to inter-tribal marriage per se, the linguistic isolation which the inter-tribal marriage could precipitate was the decisive cautionary factor.

It is also often claimed that during wars, inter-tribal marriage could prove very dangerous indeed. For instance, stories abound of brutalities visited on Ife women by the Modakeke, and vise versa, during the fratricidal crisis which engulfed Ile-Ife, particularly in the late 1990s. “The cultural barrier is also another problem, and you can see that even the Nigerian men who marry American girls often run into problems,” said Mrs Azeezat Ajadi, a cosmetician. She added: “The Yoruba call it ayojuran and oju kokoro (one deliberately fishing in trouble water) when you marry from distant tribes.’’

Recent Experience
A couple, Adeyemi Adenaike and Chinyere Udodinma, who were recently joined together (Novenber 6, 2010) at the Latter Rain Assembly church, Lagos, told their uplifting story to the Nigerian Tribune.

Hear Adeyemi: “ I didn’t have a problem with the fact that we were not from the same tribe, but she did. She said that she needed to check if that was what God was saying (that they should marry) and if it would be fine with her parents. It didn’t take us long to overcome the challenge because God showed the father through a vision that we were meant for each other.’’

And Chinyere: “My parents said no to a Yoruba man but God being who He is and doing things in His own way, today we’ve had a breakthrough.’’

So then, young man, if your wife is in Afganistan, surely you will go there. And, girl, you may find love in Burundi. Perhaps the time has come when the argument of Martin Luther King (Jnr) should take root: that we should judge a person by the content of his character rather than the colour of his skin.

It’s December. Let the wedding bells toll. Let them toll, please.



http://tribune.com.ng/index.php/features/14937-inter-tribal-marriage-what-pain-what-gain

Oh dia!

I pity their children.
I can't stand WAZOBIA marriages.
Heavens forbid!

Talk about 2 ethnic taboos gettng hitched.
We wish them a happy married life sha.
Ugly dude, fine woman. . .kai!

No body will marry all those Igbotic men. . .or those local troublesome Yoruba women if this trend continues.


Very common to find these Igbo girls marrying from other 'tribes' because their men are not marriageable at all(especially from across the Niger. . .very violent, local and extremely bush. . . bad command of the English language) Igbo men make lousy husbands and Yoruba women make lousy wives. You do not find many Igbo men marrying Yoruba women.

Well, a welcome relief to both tribes. . .  I will NOT marry from either tribe if I had my way. . .Thank God I did not have too. 

My opinion please. . . no tribalism. . . no insults!

Here comes Blazay with his analysis again.

Why not?

Blazay:

Oh dia!


My opinion please. . . no tribalism. . . no insults!

hmmm, agent Provocateur!

, and to say u want no tribalism and insults,,,,

so cool, Inter-tribal marriages rocks , lets tOast to that and the UPS AND DOWNS ahead, cute igbo girl weds ugly yoruba man,

Blazay = almondjoy= militia= dewdrops=babine
45 year old Benin woman married to an Igbo man (claims to be a man on cyberspace)
Yet comes here to yarn crap
Does your husband know what you say about him?
How did you meet your husband?
As an asshie?

I think I know your husband in real life. Will let him know your opinion of him and his.

Kini big deal?

Emeka Anyaoku married to Yoruba woman
Okey Ndibe married to Yoruba woman
Prof Chukwuemeka Ike (first head of WAEC) married to Yoruba woman
My own friend here (names witheld) married to a Yoruba woman
Adiukwu, the husband of Remi Adiukwu

^^^
Aloy+Emeka=omo_ngbati. . . NL Queen of all Igbotic tribalists. . . .

Who is this attention-seeking lonely old hag of a Face Book Spinster addressing?

One of those Igbo women I guess. Thank God Yoruba men are willing to save you from your wife-battering Igbo men.

Perhaps, if you had your own husband. . . you would not worry what others are doing with theirs.

Don't worry, one ugly Yoruba man will soon pity you and marry your ugly arzzzzzzzz like your fellow 'sistah'!

Unfortunately, you will have to wait a while since your skin is black like goat poop! Not as lovely as the well-endowed bride in the pic above.

No tribal threads to show off your hairy yam legs and flex your akpu muscles?

Please, knock yourself out.

hoe hoe hoe. . .merry xmas. . .Ugly NL spinster!

You have 8 days to find love on NL or Face Book.

This is not the tribalism section.

Now. . .pansy, run to the moderators and super moderators.

Mu he he he he he

untainted:

hmmm, agent Provocateur!

, and to say u want no tribalism and insults,,,,

Where is the insult? Please, there is a difference btw opinion and insult. . . I addressed the topic. . . not a 'lilly-livered' poster.

Thanks. Happy Holidays.

The pain:

You are exposed to a different culture and ways of doing things

Your in-laws expect you to know how to do things their ways even thou all is new to you and some are unaccepted where you come for

you in-laws (+spouse) might decide to switch permanently to their language in your presence (and am telling you that could be frustrating) and when you go to your partners village (and don't understand a word in the language) so help you God


^{to be continued}

The Gain
you are uniting Nigeria ^{that's the only 1 i can think of}

Funny azz thread

@Wunmi
Upon the inter-tribal marriages in Nigeria, which kain unity have you witnessed?

Blazay:

^^^
Aloy+Emeka=omo_ngbati. . . NL Queen of all Igbotic tribalists. . . .

Who is this attention-seeking lonely old hag of a Face Book Spinster addressing?

One of those Igbo women I guess. Thank God Yoruba men are willing to save you from your wife-battering Igbo men.

Perhaps, if you had your own husband. . . you would not worry what others are doing with theirs.

Don't worry, one ugly Yoruba man will soon pity you and marry your ugly arzzzzzzzz like your fellow 'sistah'!

Unfortunately, you will have to wait a while since your skin is black like goat poop! Not as lovely as the well-endowed bride in the pic above.

No tribal threads to show off your hairy yam legs and flex your akpu muscles?

Please, knock yourself out.

hoe hoe hoe. . .merry xmas. . .Ugly NL spinster!

You have 8 days to find love on NL or Face Book.

This is not the tribalism section.

Now. . .pansy, run to the moderators and super moderators.

Mu he he he he he




Where is the insult? Please, there is a difference btw opinion and insult. . . I addressed the topic. . . not a 'lilly-livered' poster.

Thanks. Happy Holidays.

Oturugbeke

What is this county called again Federal republic of Nigeria?

WhiteOne:

What is this county called again Federal republic of Nigeria?

Federal republic of tribalism.