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What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? - Romance - Nairaland

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What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by playmate(f): 12:24pm On Dec 31, 2010
A friend of mine has 3holes on her ear lobe and she has been getting dissed over it. An aunt told her it would chase guys away because they will get a wrong impression of her and no man wants to marry an indecent woman. Our friends think it depicts immorality in a lady. I am indifferent about it. What do you think?
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Mygoldie(f): 12:33pm On Dec 31, 2010
As for most Nigerian men,they would look at her differently like she's cheap or even a prostitute,which might not always be the case.that is why i had to listen to mum when i insisted on opening a second hole on my ear lobe.I asked her why shouldn't i have one, and she said to me that it does not look decent on a woman to have two holes on her ear.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 12:34pm On Dec 31, 2010
Various cultures have various ideas of beauty so if she finds her piercings appealing then she shouldn't care what some man thinks of her. I have a male "friend" who disapproves of my piercing as well and I have made it clear to him that it is my body and my choice and that I'm fine with it. He accepted it for what it was an has let go of the subject. If some man wants to overlook her because she chooses to beautify her body in that manner then she shouldn't pay him any mind. As for your friends aunt, I know her heart is in the right place she needs to mind her own business. As long as its not her body she shouldn't complain.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Nobody: 7:12am On Jan 02, 2011
I've heard similar rubbish sayings like that myself.
I recently got a tatoo, ON MY BACK MIND YOU,
and my mother is like "What about jobs? and if
you are dating, he may not see you as a decent girl!"
I'm like SERIOUSLY?! If he was the right one for me
he would receive me REGARDLESS, i mean wtf?
And which SICK boss would want to see my bare back?
I think it is the old vs. new school mindset really.

I do MY OWN body piercings, and I pierced my nose and my mom
nearly fainted from cursing LOL.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by rhymz(m): 7:41am On Jan 02, 2011
MzD@rkSkin:

I've heard similar rubbish sayings like that myself.
I recently got a tatoo, ON MY BACK MIND YOU,
and my mother is like "What about jobs? and if
you are dating, he may not see you as a decent girl!"
I'm like SERIOUSLY?! If he was the right one for me
he would receive me REGARDLESS, i mean wtf?
And which SICK boss would want to see my bare back?
I think it is the old vs. new school mindset really.

I do MY OWN body piercings, and I pierced my nose and my mom
nearly fainted from cursing LOL.
. . . I see your point but if U look at very well without being youthful with considerations, you would understand your mum's fear. Seriously, people associated with body tatoos and body piercing are most often than not people with very low moral values with no sense of self-restraint and control over their desires and urge. When we were little and we asked for certain things( you know as kids you always want to ve everything the other kids ve and even more) dad would say, "listen kid, I wont avail you that not because I cant but because you need to learn to different what you really need and what you just want and that is what I want you to learn", mum puts it short and indirect, you can have it but not now or may be never. Kids who gets what they want at the minute they ask for it and anything they ask for, most likely end up bad, tatoos, drugs, violence, piercing and all the mean vices one can think of. That is the reason why mum is worried coz you might be crossing the line between your want and your needs, priorities my dear! Socially, such people are stereotyped and looked down as not smart, why will I want to risk that unneccessary headaches when I can still be hip, youthful, smart and beautiful without any of those tatoos and piercings sending the wrong msg to people. Even you as a youth, would you consider the guy with tatoos and body piercings over the guy that chooses to be normal? It all boils down to the presence of control and self-restraints
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Rocktation(f): 9:27am On Jan 02, 2011
I've got 2 on each lobe and 1 at the upper part of my right ear. I think it's sexy, and so do the people around me.

1 Like

Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Nobody: 12:56pm On Jan 02, 2011
If i lyk sumtin i go 4 it regardles of woteva impresn any man or woman has.sterotypes difer.wot a persn myt consida indecent its ok 4 anoda person so its beta u do wot u tink is ryt n dnt let any1s perceptn make u fil bad or stop u.4 example i have 5 ear holes,a tatoo in my ryt arm,fixed eye lashes n weneva i c som1 wit sumtin similar or wit a piercd tongue i dnt judge lyk we use our sterotypes 2 judge.galfriend,nobody has a ryt 2 judge u.u wana knw my opinion,if a guy luvs u sincerely weda ure dresd decently or semi naked by d tym he studies ur atitude he'l b lyk 'she's nt as bad as i tot aftral'.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by iice(f): 1:19pm On Jan 02, 2011
Stereotypes. I have numerous piercings. . .
I love body art. But with or without them, people will always assume. Some people let it go if it (assumptions) favors them or they don't care. Whichever way, do ya thing.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 1:22pm On Jan 02, 2011
iice:

Stereotypes.  I have numerous piercings. . .
I love body art.  But with or without them, people will always assume.  Some people let it go if it (assumptions) favors them or they don't care.  Whichever way, do ya thing.


I've been meaning to ask you, what kind of piercings and how many?
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by iice(f): 1:39pm On Jan 02, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


I've been meaning to ask you, what kind of piercings and how many?


I have 3 on both ears but they are not identical/symmetrical grin [s]has something to do with my dislike of matchy things[/s]
On my left, it's 3 on the lobe, on my right it's one on the lobe and 2 on the cartilage/tragus
I have a nose piercing too and some other ones around tongue Thinking of having my brow pierced though. So far i have 9
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Nobody: 1:48pm On Jan 02, 2011
iice:


I have 3 on both ears but they are not identical/symmetrical grin [s]has something to do with my dislike of matchy things[/s]
On my left, it's 3 on the lobe, on my right it's one on the lobe and 2 on the cartilage/tragus
I have a nose piercing too and some other ones around tongue Thinking of having my brow pierced though. So far i have 9

WOW! simply WOW!
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 1:50pm On Jan 02, 2011
iice:


I have 3 on both ears but they are not identical/symmetrical grin [s]has something to do with my dislike of matchy things[/s]
On my left, it's 3 on the lobe, on my right it's one on the lobe and 2 on the cartilage/tragus
I have a nose piercing too and some other ones around tongue Thinking of having my brow pierced though. So far i have 9


Cool, I've been thinkin' of getting my nose done. At the moment, I have a VCH. I wanted to get a Princess Diana but changed my mind. Instead, I'm gonna get a double VCH [just gonna alter the one I currently have]. Hehehe, I so looking forward to it. Been meaning to buy a new curved barbell as well. There's this cute piercing boutique here in New York that sells come cute body jewelry.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by iice(f): 2:02pm On Jan 02, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


Cool, I've been thinkin' of getting my nose done. At the moment, I have a VCH. I wanted to get a Princess Diana but changed my mind. Instead, I'm gonna get a double VCH [just gonna alter the one I currently have]. Hehehe, I so looking forward to it. Been meaning to buy a new curved barbell as well. There's this cute piercing boutique here in New York that sells come cute body jewelry.
 

Wow, you dey try wink Why do you wanna alter it?
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 2:10pm On Jan 02, 2011
iice:

Wow, you dey try wink Why do you wanna alter it? 

Hmmm, no particular reason. . . Piercings are just fun for me I guess. After I got my VCH done, I was thinkin' of doing somethin' else but couldn't figure out what I wanted. For now, those will do. My friend suggested I get my n.ipples done but I wasn't too thrilled with the idea. Did the nose piercing hurt a lot?
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by desertboom(m): 2:11pm On Jan 02, 2011
@rhymz. I support your views. Body piercing is immoral to me but the people doing it may not be bad people. Call me old-school or old fashion I just don't like it.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by orbaxy(m): 2:16pm On Jan 02, 2011
Do ya thang!  smiley though you need not be overly expressive. Our world today is stereotyped so if you can stand the heat, why not? wink
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by iice(f): 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


Hmmm, no particular reason. . . Piercings are just fun for me I guess. After I got my VCH done, I was thinkin' of doing somethin' else but couldn't figure out what I wanted. For now, those will do. My friend suggested I get my n.ipples done but I wasn't too thrilled with the idea. Did the nose piercing hurt a lot?

Addictive is what it can be. I had to space mine out or i'd be covered in piercings by now tongue
Nah, it didn't hurt. If you can do the VCH, the nose should be a breeze tongue
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 2:38pm On Jan 02, 2011
iice:

Addictive is what it can be.  I had to space mine out or i'd be covered in piercings by now tongue
Nah, it didn't hurt.  If you can do the VCH, the nose should be a breeze tongue


But that's the thing, the VCH didn't hurt that much. The initial pain just feels like a pinch. Most people people think its freakishly painful undecided.

Yes, it is addictive grin
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Spclst900: 2:40pm On Jan 02, 2011
Very soon the piercing would get to the eyes.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by iice(f): 3:25pm On Jan 02, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


But that's the thing, the VCH didn't hurt that much. The initial pain just feels like a pinch. Most people people think its freakishly painful undecided.

Yes, it is addictive grin

I suppose it differs for people. Anyway. . .i think we've derailed this thread enough.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 3:27pm On Jan 02, 2011
lol woops grin

Sorry OP.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Jan 02, 2011
Dats kul iice so u 2 av a nose pierced.i wantd 2 av 1 but my friend discouragd me sayin i av enof of holes in my ear.i rily want my nose pierced but shey its nt dat painful? I'm scard of avin 1 cos 1st of al it luks so painful n 2 is it goin 2 heal on tym.if u asure me,trust me i'l make nose piercin 1 of my plans dis new yr n dis january.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by omega25red(m): 5:11pm On Jan 02, 2011
playmate:

A friend of mine has 3holes on her ear lobe and she has been getting dissed over it. An aunt told her it would chase guys away because they will get a wrong impression of her and no man wants to marry an indecent woman. Our friends think it depicts immorality in a lady. I am indifferent about it. What do you think?
different cultural beliefs undecided i don't see the harm in multiple ear piercings though
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Dereformer(m): 6:48pm On Jan 02, 2011
i can never think of having anything to do with any woman that has a tattoo or has more than one opening in her ear.

When i was looking for a wife. These were my first watch.

A decent and God fearing woman will never have a tattoo, will never wear rings or necklace on her leg, will never have more than one opening on her ear. will never expose the hairs on her chest. will not even wear rings on her fingers except, of course, it is engagement or wedding ring.

My views pls.

I distance myself from guys that have tattoo. If i see it, I can never do business with you.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by Nobody: 10:25pm On Jan 02, 2011
rhymz:

. . . I see your point but if U look at very well without being youthful with considerations, you would understand your mum's fear. Seriously, people associated with body tatoos and body piercing are most often than not people with very low moral values with no sense of self-restraint and control over their desires and urge. When we were little and we asked for certain things( you know as kids you always want to ve everything the other kids ve and even more) dad would say, "listen kid, I wont avail you that not because I cant but because you need to learn to different what you really need and what you just want and that is what I want you to learn", mum puts it short and indirect, you can have it but not now or may be never. Kids who gets what they want at the minute they ask for it and anything they ask for, most likely end up bad, tatoos, drugs, violence, piercing and all the mean vices one can think of. That is the reason why mum is worried coz you might be crossing the line between your want and your needs, priorities my dear! Socially, such people are stereotyped and looked down as not smart, why will I want to risk that unneccessary headaches when I can still be hip, youthful, smart and beautiful without any of those tatoos and piercings sending the wrong msg to people. Even you as a youth, would you consider the guy with tatoos and body piercings over the guy that chooses to be normal? It all boils down to the presence of control and self-restraints

Ok but it's called profiling. I walk down the street as a black woman I am type caste as being a "chicken head, with 5 kids, 5 "baby daddies" and on welfare" so what should I do then to ease their minds? bleach my skin and wear blonde weave? No way. As Iice said with or without the piercings/tats ppl are going to say and think as they please. You as a black man regardless of how well your present yourself attire and personality wise, is still perceived to be approached with caution. If ppl stop living for others the world would be much better!

I am smart enough to conceal my body art to an extent that should I decide to be around certain people or to get an office job, I can look "approachable". My nose piercing is also concealed as i put in brown/coffee gemmed rings in there to blend in with my complexion but I won't apologize for my creativity, it is my body to design or "spoil".
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by ogzille(m): 6:37am On Jan 03, 2011
This topic is very subjective and i respect everybody's opinion on the matter. What i can't seem to understand is why some people say they dont care about what people think. C'mon that arrogance and self deceit. We are all social beings and we crave for acceptance no matter what. If we dont get accepted, we become very lonely and seemingly empty.so plzzz,  stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care.

Back to the topic:

I had a friend back then in secondary school; he told me about wanting to have some tattoos and piercing and his dad's reaction towards it. This is the question the dad asked him:

1. if there were 2 people at a robbery scene, one with piercings and the other clean, who do u think the police will pick up first? so why put yourself in a disadvantaged position?

@Inked_Nerd, b sincere with this question:

When you did your VCH, after the healing, didnt u feel any stronger drive for sex, if not for anything just to show it off? or did you pierce your clitoral hood just for yourself alone?

The truth is the society defines our right and wrong and i bet you, you will find more 'indecent people' among people that are pierced than people that are clean. This doesnt mean that all pierced people are bad.

@MzD@rkSkin, 'If ppl stop living for others the world would be much better!' Stop self deceit, u pierce  cos there is still  a few that tell u it looks good. If all your friends and ppl around u tell you its ugly and doesnt look good, i bet u wont go for anoda piercing or 'design'
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 7:35am On Jan 03, 2011
ogzille:

This topic is very subjective and i respect everybody's opinion on the matter. What i can't seem to understand is why some people say they dont care about what people think. C'mon that arrogance and self deceit. We are all social beings and we crave for acceptance no matter what. If we dont get accepted, we become very lonely and seemingly empty.so plzzz,  stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care.

Why is it so hard to believe that some people just don't care what other think of them? Yes, we are social beings but that does not in any way mean that we need to accept the views and beliefs of other just as you've right now. Just because you can't seem to wrap your brain around the decisions that others make doesn't mean that that's what they're saying is untrue.

ogzille:

@Inked_Nerd, b sincere with this question:

When you did your VCH, after the healing, didnt u feel any stronger drive for sex, if not for anything just to show it off? or did you pierce your clitoral hood just for yourself alone?

The truth is the society defines our right and wrong and i bet you, you will find more 'indecent people' among people that are pierced than people that are clean. This doesnt mean that all pierced people are bad.

Whether or not I felt a stronger desire for s.ex is irrelevant. Just because my piercing is in my g.enital area does not mean that the sole purpose was for sexual pleasure. Yes, an increase in ones sexual drive may occur but that doesn't mean that is my reason or anyone else's reason for doing it. There doesn't have to be any particular reason that an individual must have if they choose to get a piercing or tattoo no matter where it is. If a person wakes up one morning and suddenly decides they want to get a piercing or a tattoo, that is totally up to them. Must they have your approval or anyone else approval to do so? Because you be see it as socially unacceptable or "indecent" doesn't mean that it is. There are many practices within many cultures of the world that were once viewed as indecent or unacceptable in the eyes of the white man [no offense to any of Nairaland's caucasian members] yet were normal to those who practiced those beliefs. As I stated earlier, various cultures have various ideas of beauty--Because you be see it as socially unacceptable doesn't necessarily mean that it is. How can you even sit here are say "i bet you, you will find more 'indecent people' among people that are pierced than people that are clean."? It makes no sense for you to speak in such an judgmental manner then casually trying to turn around and say "This doesn't mean that all pierced people are bad." Perhaps within your society, piercings and tattoos are unacceptable but there are various places all over the world where it is the norm. My reason for wanting to get my clitoral hood or any other part of my body pierced is none of your business and because I choose to talk about it does not in any way indicate that my intentions were to "show off". I don't owe you or anyone else within this society an explanation for anything. In your comment, you said "This topic is very subjective and I respect everybody's opinion on the matter.", clearly you don't respect other people's opinion, otherwise, you wouldn't have asked your question in the manner that you did. You seem quite oppositional for a person who claims to respect the opinion of others. You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves. Hmmm, is that the voice of someone who respects the views of others? I think not.
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by ogzille(m): 8:05am On Jan 03, 2011
that i respect everybody's opinion, does it mean i cant have my opinion on the matter?

You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves.

I NEVER said that those that got piercing are deceiving themselves ok? READ MY POST AGAIN FOR CLARITY
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by orbaxy(m): 8:08am On Jan 03, 2011
ogzille:

This topic is very subjective and i respect everybody's opinion on the matter. What i can't seem to understand is why some people say they dont care about what people think. C'mon that arrogance and self deceit. We are all social beings and we crave for acceptance no matter what. If we dont get accepted, we become very lonely and seemingly empty.so plzzz,  stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care.

Back to the topic:

I had a friend back then in secondary school; he told me about wanting to have some tattoos and piercing and his dad's reaction towards it. This is the question the dad asked him:

1. if there were 2 people at a robbery scene, one with piercings and the other clean, who do u think the police will pick up first? so why put yourself in a disadvantaged position?

@Inked_Nerd, b sincere with this question:

When you did your VCH, after the healing, didnt u feel any stronger drive for sex, if not for anything just to show it off? or did you pierce your clitoral hood just for yourself alone?

The truth is the society defines our right and wrong and i bet you, you will find more 'indecent people' among people that are pierced than people that are clean. This doesnt mean that all pierced people are bad.

@MzD@rkSkin, 'If ppl stop living for others the world would be much better!' Stop self deceit, u pierce  cos there is still  a few that tell u it looks good. If all your friends and ppl around u tell you its ugly and doesnt look good, i bet u wont go for anoda piercing or 'design'



Popular belief.

@Inked_Nerd

Rare but sexy specie  grin
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 8:19am On Jan 03, 2011
ogzille:

that i respect everybody's opinion, does it mean i cant have my opinion on the matter?

You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves.

I NEVER said that those that got piercing are deceiving themselves ok? READ MY POST AGAIN FOR CLARITY


Yes, I worded it differently but that is what you said. You stated "so plzzz,  stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care." and I stated "You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves.". You using the word mind is an indication of one's being so ultimately, it is still the same sentence the only difference is that I rephrased it.

orbaxy:

Popular belief.

@Inked_Nerd

Rare but sexy specie  grin

wink
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by ogzille(m): 9:32am On Jan 03, 2011
i think i need english lessons cos i think there is a lot of diff between these :

You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves

and

This topic is very subjective and i respect everybody's opinion on the matter. What i can't seem to understand is why some people say they dont care about what people think. C'mon that arrogance and self deceit. We are all social beings and we crave for acceptance no matter what. If we dont get accepted, we become very lonely and seemingly empty.so plzzz, stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care.

pls do not quote me out of context
Re: What Has This Got To Do With Dating Or Getting Married? by InkedNerd(f): 9:51am On Jan 03, 2011
ogzille:

i think i need english lessons cos i think there is a lot of diff between these :

You even went so far as to say that those of us who have chosen to pierce or tattoo our bodies are deceiving ourselves

and

This topic is very subjective and i respect everybody's opinion on the matter. What i can't seem to understand is why some people say they dont care about what people think. C'mon that arrogance and self deceit. We are all social beings and we crave for acceptance no matter what. If we dont get accepted, we become very lonely and seemingly empty.so plzzz, stop deceiving your mind into believing that you dont care.

pls do not quote me out of context

Yes, I think so too. When you get those lesson, get back to me. And I wasn't quoting you out of context.

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